Disclaimer: I own nothing. I am to a spiritual level beyond material possessions. Therefore, I must borrow everyone else's.

I really wished Mary had gotten fed up with Dean-Cass drama and pulled that boy out of the closet. Here are a few of my interjections into the cannon. I might make this a one-shot series of Mary (and/or others) getting fed up with the UST and other ridiculousness. I'll accept suggestions in the comments.

This one is during one of my favorite episodes 12x12: Stuck in the Middle with You.

Teachable Moment

My boys, Wally, and I were around the table in a diner that reminded me of simpler times. The boys were ordering food. Dean made a half-hearted attempt to connect with the waitress, who seemed to have had a long enough day not to even care to flirt to get a larger tip. Then she made a move on Castiel. The Angel barely noticed aside from some initial confusion at being singled out.

Dean's face betrayed him for a few seconds. Then his mask went up and began to posture as some sort of pick-up artist douchebag. Dean leaned across Sam to look at Castiel. "Oh, dude, she is into you." Wally enabled Dean. Castiel was barely interested. Maybe in an 'understanding humans better' manner.

I sighed internally and called out his name, hoping he'd stop, "Dean…"

Dean did not stop. "No, this is good. We've been looking for teachable moments. This..." My eldest clicked his tongue and made an okay sign with his hand. Wally nodded in agreement.

I almost ended it right then, but I heard my phone beep. I'm not used to ignoring the beeps and buzzes of phones yet. I'm used to answering on the first ring before the caller hangs up.

"Everything all right, Mom?" Sam asked as I read the message. My face probably betrayed my feelings.

"Yeah," I replied. "Just a hunter, needs some help."

"Another one?" asked Dean with a hint of jealousy in his voice.

I slipped my phone back into my pocket. "Can't have too many friends in this line of work." I was glad the conversation had moved away from Dean trying to hook up Castiel with the waitress.

Dean wasn't buying my story, but he let it slide.

"Okay…" I started to talk about business.

This time it was Sam that sidelined the conversation, complaining about some technology thing: "The internet here sucks. I downloaded all the bunker's files to a new archive, but we're not getting any signal, so I'm j–"

Dean voiced all of our feelings on that matter with some snoring noises. "Nobody cares." Unfortunately, he went back to 'coaching' Castiel. "Cass, here's the thing you need to know about waitresses, okay? They get hit on all day long, so you gotta bring your A-game. But, upside?" He clicked his tongue. "They always smell like food."

I glared at Dean to stop while Wally encouraged him and nodded. "They always smell like food."

I tried to be civil and change the topic the conversation again. "Okay -"

Unfortunately, Sam felt the need to add to the conversation. "Is that really an upside? They smell like food?" All but Castiel started talking at once.

"Hey!" I snapped and hit the table. "Screens down, eyes up. Shut up." I heard some mumbled apologies, but I finally managed to steer the conversation to our evening hunt and keep it there. At least until the waitress returned.

Sam coughed. "Incoming." She filled my coffee, and then Castiel slyly smelled her shirt. I almost burst out laughing. Of course, that would his reaction to Dean and Wally's "wisdom." When my eldest opened his mouth again, my amusement faded quickly while the exchange continued.

[1] When the boys were all exclaiming at the waitress's forwardness after she left, I reached my boiling point. My eyes narrowed. I brought out my Mom Voice. "Dean." I had had enough of this. I couldn't imagine the amount of patience Sam must have to have lived watching this soap opera play out for years. All the boys shut their mouths. "Outside now." I shoved my chair back and walked out of the restaurant.

Dean followed shortly with an oblivious look on his face. Like he had no idea why I was upset with him. He tried to ask or defend himself, but I didn't need to hear any more of it. Mom Voice was still on. "Dean. Shut it. I need to say something. It is not for you to argue or comment on. You are going to listen, reflect, and then work to get your life in order. Understand."

He nodded, still looking clueless. "Yes, Mom."

"Hooking Castiel up with a waitress or anyone else for that matter will not change the feelings you have for him." His jaw dropped. Before he could say anything I pushed open the restaurant doors forcefully and was back in my seat at the table. Dean remained outside for a few minutes, stunned. Eventually he came back in, sat down, and was mostly business for the rest of breakfast.

[1] Break from cannon.