ahem... please do not kill me. COVID has been a rough time for my writing, and I'm sorry for those I've abandoned during my hiatus. I hope this especially long one makes up for it. If I lost you in this duration of time, I deeply apologize xxx. MAJOR kudos to my lovely loyal readers who stuck by.

BY THE WAY, I do have to put a disclaimer here, bc, well, i care. This chapter is a little more mature than the rest so far (well, mostly, you'll see bits and pieces as you read. I've also matured... kind of?)

Love you muches! By the way, I am back in California writing this, so, y'know, full circle? anyway, enjoy, and favorite/review/follow!

"I mean, can you believe she said that? First of all, it was way too vague for my comfort, and quite frankly, I take offense. 'We're really something?' What is something? Do we look like something to you?" Cece was about two sentences away from downing a bottle of Advil. She rubbed her hand over her forehead and opened her mouth to reply. She figured Jess would have to stop talking at one point, right? "Don't answer that. Seriously, I don't understand. What if she's just saying this to freak me out? She dated him, and what if she she wants him back? She's probably-"

"Babe. Shut up." Cece shook her head as her hands covered her face. "Please. It's way too early for your spiral and I haven't spoken for a half hour."

Jessica continued pacing around her bedroom until leaning against a wall. A dramatic groan released into the air as she slid down the wall. "Cece, I've lost it. I have officially lost my marbles."

Cece sighed as she made her way over to Jess, lifting her friend's arms and dragging Jess to her feet. Jessica pouted as she straightened herself out. "You haven't. I mean, you're definitely overthinking this and spilling every thought that comes to mind, but you aren't losing your mind. I mean look, nothing's really changed between you and Nick, has it?"

Jess hesitated to respond, reviewing her recent encounters with Nick: a whole lot of moonwalking and him typewriting through her attempts at a conversation.

"Well I guess we've come to a halt with our post-it notes." She shrugged, scratching the back of her neck like this didn't bother her. Cece arched her brow and crossed her arms. "What?"

"Jessica Day. You need to look at me straight in the face when I tell you this."

"No."

Jessica looked everywhere else. Cece reached for her face which caused Jess to back up, protesting completely against her in fits of nope, no way, and stop. Attempting again successfully, Cece grabbed her face and held it still, smiling in greeting to which Jessica frowned. "Jess. You like him."

"I what?"

Cece repeated. "You. Like him. You have feelings for Nick."

Jess tilted her head up in the slightest. "Who?"

Her friend narrowed her eyes. "Nicholas Miller."

Jess covered her hands over where Cece's rested, dropping them back to her sides. "Never heard of him." She moved out of her friend's way and to the mirror. Her cheeks appeared more flushed than usual. Sitting down at her vanity chair, Jess wiped her cheeks and dropped her hands onto her lap while fleeting pinches of defeat clenched her stomach. Cece joined her in the mirror and rested her hands on Jess's shoulders.

"I know it's not something you wanna hear."

Jessica sighed defeatedly. She took a moment to compose herself before speaking again, ashamed of the words to come out. "Why can't things just be easy? They were before..."

"...Caroline." They both said in unison.

"I mean, in reality, nothing has shifted. The earth still spins, so nothing should feel different." She lifted her head to meet Cece's, her voice cracking. "So then why does it?"

Cece took Jess's hands in her own, empathizing with her friend's pain. "She just came here on Monday, and she's someone from Nick's past. I don't blame any of you trying to adjust to the awkwardness, even if you may failing a little bit. But it's only Friday." She stood up and pulled her friend up and out of the chair. "Let's go to school and at least convince ourselves that things are normal because they are."

The last part of Cece's advice erupted a chuckle out of Jess. "Since when do you want to go to school first?"

"Listen, don't think I've changed my mind about school yet. But since things are getting interesting, and I don't mean academically, it kinda makes it worth it before first bell." Cece rolled her eyes, briefly turning to grab her jacket and backpack. "Let's go." She began walking out of the room, pausing abruptly to noticed Jess remaining in place. Ignoring her protests, Cece also grabbed Jess's arm and hurried her out of the bedroom.

She tapped her pen anxiously against her paper. Jess felt her eyes traveling behind her, but immediately caught herself. Was he...not going to pass her anything today? Was she just going to hear the noise of chkchkchk for forty minutes straight? Her eyes focused back on the pen she was tapping on the desk, and out on a whim, decided to throw it to the floor. More specifically, to an empty space behind her.

chkchkchk-chk. chk. chk.

Jessica slowly swiveled around in her chair, her eyes briefly meeting Nick's confused one as she bent down to pick up the pen. "Heh. Gravity." Jess remarked, gesturing to the pen in hand. Nick arched his brow at Jess's unexpected behavior before returning to his work.

She turned back around and quietly grunted to herself. The lectures coming from the teacher came out as noise at this point, so there was no use in paying attention there. Reaching for the pencil case that rested at the corner of her desk, Jessica unzipped the pouch and rummaged through her stationary. Pencils, pens, extra staples,...

Post-its.

She suddenly had the strongest urge to fling it across the room. Or better yet, right at the hippy's head so he would acknowledge her already, dammit. Nick Miller was her walking target.

Shit. Jessica slumped deep into her chair. She really liked him. That was the stupid part.

ding. Another page done. She winced at the loud noise. Nick reset the top of the typewriter and continued to tap furiously on the keys. At least he had inspiration. The teacher, who was currently lecturing away, unexpectedly cut herself off.

"Oh. You must be our newest student!"

Jess snapped her head up. It had been weeks since she was this aware of her class.

And who walked into the classroom, only worsened her headache.

The brilliant smile on the infamous Caroline greeted all of the classmates. "Do I have the right room?" It didn't take long for her eyes to meet Jessica's, and then Nick's. Her face immediately fell. "Oh-maybe not, actually-"

"-Yes! I'm glad you're making your way nicely around this school. Hopefully it hasn't been too much trouble." The teacher replied joyfully. She locked eyes with Jess, who wanted no part of this conversation. "Jessica has been your tour guide, right?"

"Yeah." Caroline nodded. "She's been extremely helpful."

"Good." The teacher smiled. "You may take a seat. Any seat." She waved off as Caroline cleared her throat. The blonde shyly walked down the aisles of desks, eyes wandering around for a free seat. She then spotted an empty seat and hesitated before taking it.

...How fortunate! Right behind Nick.

There were no more clicks on the typewriter. Jess may not have been looking at either of the two, but she felt her ears burn in annoyance. She suddenly wished to manually eject herself out of this classroom.

Well, she had to say something. Anything. The brunette turned around and put on a smile. "Welcome to homeroom, Caroline."

Caroline seemed to be stapling a smile of her own in return. "It's uh... it's good to be here."

Nick's eyes traveled from Jess's to Caroline's before reverting back to his typewriter. He stretched his hands out in front of him before taking a breath. Jess watched in confusion.

chkchkchkchkchkchkchkchkchkchkchkchkchkchk...

And there it was, back again.

"Did she have to not only move into this school, but move into my homeroom? Seriously? It's like life is trying to sabotage my whole school year." Jessica crossed her arms as she leaned against the wall in anguish.

Cece nodded slowly, growing more and more aware of both of their surroundings. "So this is why you called a bathroom meeting. Way to schedule it after lunch, Jess. It smells in here. Why did we even meet in here?" Jessica hurried over to the door, turning the lock. "And you know that girls need to pee here, right?"

Ignoring her last comment, Jess answered simply. "Teachers stalk the halls. I didn't want to fake a hall pass." Cece leaned against the wall as well, a chuckle escaping from her lips.

Jess picked up on this immediately. "What?" Cece leaned off the wall to face her friend, opening her mouth to speak.

"I'm honestly just waiting on why you wanted to meet."

"I'm just trying to escape the soap opera that is my life right now."

"And-"

"-I have to continue the school tour with Caroline and I'm sad."

"And...-"

"-Nick didn't give me any post its today. Granted I know it's probably because Caroline is now in our class and maybe he feels weird or something and-"

"You-"

"Alright!" Jess yelled, cutting her friend off. More quietly, she added, "I... have feelings for Nick. Is that what you wanted to hear?"

Cece nodded right as she finished her rhetorical question. "Jesus, finally. I thought I was gonna have to wait till graduation to hear that."

Jess slumped herself down the bathroom wall, covering her face in her hands. She'd officially cracked. Being seventeen was truly impossible. Cece slid down after her, resting a supporting hand on her friend's shoulder.

"What are you gonna do now?"

Shrugging her shoulders hopelessly, Jessica turned toward her friend. "I don't even know, do I even risk it? Risk telling him how I feel?"

"Jess, there's no doubt in my mind that there aren't some shared feelings here. And seriously, it's senior year. It's the year to make risks and be a dumb teenager."

They sat in silence for a while. Jess stared down at her feet and clicked them together. "So how do I tell him?"

"With your words?" Cece suggested, causing Jess to narrow her eyes. "Hey, just a thought."

"I think I have a better idea."

"What might that be?" Cece watched as Jessica grabbed her backpack, moving it out in front of her. She unzipped her pencil case and grabbed post-its and a pen, clicking it for emphasis. Cece banged her head dramatically against the wall in response.

"As if you guys don't do that enough."

"It's the most efficient way. I won't even have to say the words."

Cece grabbed the post-its and pen. "Well, what are you gonna write? 'Do you like me? Circle for yes or no?'" She mimicked on the paper as Jess took them back.

"No." She rolled her eyes. "I could totally be more slick than that."

"I kinda doubt it."

"Watch me."

And, once she put the pen to the paper, she began to write.

Crumpled, and then wrote.

And crumpled, and then wrote.

Yeah, the cycle continued for a while.

"Okay, okay Cece, what about this one. Roses are red, violets are blue-"

"-Oh god, please no-"

"This girl got a whole big crush on you."

"Nick is going to not only reject you, but critique your poetry. And you're trying to be an English teacher?"

Jess pouted, setting down the paper and pen. "Damn." Cece sighed as her friend closed her eyes painfully.

"It's not easy, y'know, to say those words out loud. Especially to that face of his."

Especially not in school. Jess had at least two creative scenarios where that conversation could go better. Maybe a park, or that little stationary warehouse they went to. But in the middle of a hallway? Or a school classroom? She just couldn't see herself doing that.

Knock knock knock.

"Hello? I have to pee!" A voice yelled from behind the bathroom door.

"This one's reserved!" Cece yelled back.

"The whole entire bathroom?"

"...Yes?"

Sudden realization dawning on Jess, she gave Cece a panicked look. "Wait, that's Caroline's voice."

Cece looked at the door and back at Jess, lost in decisions. "Do we let her in?"

"Yes, ugh, she really is nice."

"Thank you?" The voice said, muffled against the door. Cece stood up and unlocked the door, letting Caroline inside. She resumed locking the door.

Caroline looked toward the lock and to the two girls. "Is this an intervention?"

"Nah. Just venting."

The blonde nodded her head, tightening the strap on her shoulder. "What about?"

Cece and Jess both replied at the same time.

"Boys."

"Homework."

Jess exchanged a look with her friend, and shook her head. "Health class, hormones and stuff, ya know?"

"I thought health was a junior class?"

She tucked a hair behind her ear, clearing her throat. "I uh, failed health."

Cece chuckled. "How do you fail health?"

Caroline sighed to herself before smiling at the girls. "Is it about Nick?"

Before Jessica could control her words, she immediately answered with a quick, "yes.". A silence drifted over the three in the bathroom. "Sorry, that was weird, this is weird, maybe we shouldn't talk about it because it's probably uncomfortable for you to-"

"Hey, no worries, Jessica, it doesn't bother me. Nick and I are in the past. You two are, well, very much now."

Jess glanced to Cece with puzzled eyes. "See? See what do you mean by that, though. I mean first, you say that Nick and I are really something, and then-"

Cece watched in entertainment as Jess began riding on a tangent of questions and Caroline's face grow with concern. It wasn't really hard to blame the brunette, though. In her mind, understanding Love was the epitome of understanding Neurophysics; close to impossible.

"-and now you're comparing space and time to what you and Nick were then and what me and Nick are now, which I can't even begin to explain that whole relationship considering the fact that its based off of several pieces of sticky paper-"

"Jessica. Breathe, please breathe for me, you're scaring me with how much air you're losing right now." Caroline interrupted Jess, throwing her hands on the girl's shoulders to calm her. Jessica abruptly stopped talking, focusing her eyes on the blond. Caroline grinned softly. "I did not expect a Q&A, nor did I realize that my comments were cryptic."

"Well they were." Jess murmured to herself, her lips in a pout.

Caroline nodded in understanding and attempted to put the words together. "Look. Of your knowledge, how far do you think Nick has gotten in his book?"

"He's probably about five, six chapters in now? But he won't let me read anymore, so I don't really know."

"Jess, he started writing that book when we were together."

Jess's shoulders slumped. "Oh."

"But he couldn't get past chapter two. But it seems that ever since he met you, he's gotten quite a lot of work done. Maybe a certain someone deeply inspired him. I haven't seen Nick motivated and, really, this happy in a long time. And you seriously don't know what's changed?"

Before Jess could utter another word, there was another knock on the door. "Hello? Who locks a bathroom in the middle of a school day?"

"Who is it?" All three girls announced.

"Ally!"

Cece bowed her head and opened the door. "Hey girl."

Ally looked at the sight in front of her and tilted her head in confusion. "What's going on in here? Don't you guys have class right now?"

"Are you a teacher or something?" Cece joked, which made Ally shrug uncomfortably. Immediately noticing her discomfort, Cece guiltily went on. "Hey, also, I'm actually really sorry for the other night. I didn't mean to be a bitch to you."

"It's okay. I'm gonna be a police officer one day, so I'm bound to take some damage from high school mean girls first."

Cece seemed taken aback by her comment. "But-"

Ally grinned in amusement, which made Cece relax. "Kidding. I also gotta build up a sense of humor." Noticing Caroline's presence, Ally waved. "Hey, I'm Ally."

"Caroline." The blonde waved back as they were briefly acquainted.

"But seriously, what is going on? Either you guys are a fan of the stench in here, or there's some kind of intervention."

Caroline nodded passionately. "See? I said the same exact thing."

Cece shrugged, gesturing to Jess. "Well, it kinda is, for her." Jess waved Cece's hand away from her. "Day's got it bad for Miller."

Ally leaned against the wall and chuckled at the girls. "Well, no surprise there." Jess narrowed her eyes at all of them, feeling her cheeks burn in embarrassment. Well, that was her time to exit stage left.

"I think I'm just gonna head back to class."

"Aw, come on Jess, we're just messing with-"

"I'll catch up with you guys later."

Jess picked her bag off of the floor and exited the bathroom.

Caroline looked worriedly from the door to the girls. "What about the rest of my tour?" Ally nodded sympathetically and began walking her out of the bathroom.

"I can assure you, it does not start here." Ally remarked as she closed the door behind them.

The next day, Jessica took much effort to get up from her bed and face her school again-more so, Nick-without her heart flipping out every few seconds. She buried her face in a pillow with her hair cascaded down her back, wanting to savor the pillow's fluffiness and warmth forever.

"Jess, you gotta get up."

Jess tried sinking her face even further into the pillow. "I don't wanna go."

"What?" Cece shouted as if someone had gotten shot. "What would Future Miss Principal Day think about you playing hooky on a school day? You've had perfect attendance since like the 6th grade."

Momentarily, Jessica lifted her head up to wipe drool off of her mouth. "She would say wow, I'm glad you avoided a day filled with a stampede of emotions and hormones and everyone pressuring you to tell a guy your feelings." She dropped her head back down.

Cece rolled her eyes and sat down on the edge of her bed. "No one is pressuring you to do anything. But we know that if you never tell him, you're gonna spend your summer wondering what could have been if you had. What happened to taking risks?"

"That girl has long expired." Jess replied miserably, taking the pillow and throwing it on top of her head. Cece sighed, shaking her head as she gently pat Jessica's back.

"The Jess I know wouldn't just hide away. If you knew I had an issue, you'd practically tackle it head first."

"What can I say?" The brunette replied, uncovering herself with the pillow. "I don't practice what I preach, although I know I should."

Cece wiped some loose strands off of Jessica's forehead. "What are you afraid of?"

"Losing a friend... losing him if he doesn't feel how I feel. Because if that's true, he might pretend that everything's fine and then one day we'll be nodding at each other walking down the hallway like strangers."

Cece took in her friend's fears, eyeing her dresser as she stood up, walking over to it. "Well, what will it take for you to get dressed and at least come to school with me today?"

Jess looked at Cece who was now peering in her drawers. Sighing in response, she sat up and leaned her head against the bed frame. "Not talking about this anymore. Unless I bring it up, I don't want your or Ally or Caroline getting on me about this. It'll be done on my terms."

Her friend nodded in understanding, tucking her hair behind her ears and turning back to her friend. "Okay. Deal." And with that, she threw Jess a clean top and skirt. "Now get dressed. I'll drive us."

Jessica walked into the classroom with five minutes to spare. She forgot that Cece liked to stop and grab coffee before school like they used to. Taking another sip out of the cup, she dropped her bag next to her and set the drink down. Nick turned around to watch her as she grabbed her notebook and opened it, setting a pen down right on top of the page. She looked up and met his eyes, slowing her actions down as Nick's eyes shifted to her coffee cup.

"How do you take it?"

"Hm?"

"Your coffee."

Jessica smiled and almost forgot what was inside the cup because of the tiny piece of lint that rested on Nick's shoulder. She had the urge to brush it off, but refrained the best she could.

"It's um, a hazelnut latte with almond milk."

"It smells pretty good." Nick commented back, eyes shifting back to hers with a small smile playing on his lips. Jessica wasn't used to the semi-formal conversation that was occurring. Still, she decided to keep it up for the sake of a conversation with him.

"Do you want to try it?" Jess surprised herself at the sudden question that came out of her mouth without a thought. Nick seemed almost surprised by this as well, but nodded in response.

"Oh, sure!"

Jess handed it to him and watched as his lips touched the cup and took a sip. She watched as his throat bobbed when he swallowed. Glancing away, Jess shook herself out of the constant over-observing.

"Wow, this is pretty good." Nick agreed, licking his bottom lip to taste the last of it. Jess nodded, silently agreeing with his statement. This was gonna be harder than she thought.

After class was dismissed, Jessica rushed out of the room and leaned against her locker. Nick walked out of the class a few moments after her.

"Hey Jess, wait up." Nick called, making Jess look back up.

"What's up?" Jess asked as he approached the girl. He seemed to be holding something in his hand. A piece of paper.

"I have something for you." He replied, standing a little too close to her. She could smell the coffee she'd let him try on his breath. Raising his hand up, he held out another post-it note. Jess shook her head and accepted the note.

"Why am I not surprised?" She replied, both of their faces inches away from one another. His eyes shift down from the note to her lips before flickering back up at her gaze. Nick studied Jess's face as her eyes skimmed across the post-it note. He wanted to chuckle as he watched her facial expression change from neutral to surprise, to confusion, and then back to surprise. "You're giving me another chapter? You completed the next chapter?"

"Actually, the next four chapters." He corrected, to which her eyes widened even more than he thought possible. "What can I say, I've been feeling quite inspired lately."

A smirked curved the side of her lips, tilting her head up to him. A quick response arose in her head, giving Jess less time to think it over before blurting, "yeah, thanks to me." Nick's eyes also brightened in amusement at her quip, and she could immediately feel a sense relief wash over her.

"Yeah, thanks to you. I'll say you've inspired me a little."

Inspired me a little. Jess felt her cheeks heat up involuntarily and mentally cursed to herself. The word inspired crept up into her mind from what Caroline was telling her earlier. To soften the tension she was soon to fill up from her lack of words, she decided to clear her throat and quickly extinguish the air. "So when am I expecting this next chapter?"

Nick, about to answer, had closed his mouth as soon as he'd attempted opening it. Instead, he shrugged casually and replied, "When you earn it. It'll come when you least expect it."

"Like you arriving on the first day of school?" Jess arched a brow up, half-annoyed at his ominous statement.

"Yeah, kinda like that." Nick replied back, eyes dancing with mirth. "Stay curious, Day." He added, patting her head and pulling back his arm before she had the chance to swat it off.

Pepperwood held the small of Jessica's back still right before her body dared to leave the ground forever. She fluttered her eyes open and smiled at him with exhaustion painted around her eyes. "You found me." Knight said, raising her hand to his cheek-

Nick paused and looked up from his typing, visualizing that Jessica Knight was Jessica damn Day with her beautiful face staring up at him instead. His mind began to race through their more intimate moments that accrued from the past few weeks.

"You're probably the most...not-bad person I know." Nick had told Jessica back at the party, watching a small smile form on her face and a little crinkle pop up emerge next to her eye as she did so. He remembered his shaky and (hopefully not) clammy hand reaching up to caress the side of her face, daring to sink his fingers into her brown hair. Jess's mouth parted ever so slightly under his touch and before he could ponder whether this was a good or bad sign, they were interrupted.

Ugh, focus Nick. You don't even have time to think about this. Just keep writing.

raising her hand to his cheek... He typed. Nick paused again and his mind wandered off.

He thought of twirling her hair with his pencil as he sat behind her in their math class.

He thought of her guiding him through learning guitar and guiding her hands softly over his to help him strum the strings.

He thought of her leaning against his locker while he placed a post-it note inside the back of her jean pocket.

He thought of soft noises escaping her lips as his own traveled down her neck, planting kisses as his hands began reaching to the beginning of her blouse-

Nick lowered his head onto the desk. He might've needed sleep. He was on a writing grind for a good few weeks, no doubt, but he'd written enough of Jessica Knight for one day. Now, all he began doing was thinking of Jessica Day. He ran a hand through his hair and proceeded to stand up out of his chair. He placed the typewriter back in an empty filing cabinet and walked over to his bed, where he then plopped himself upon.

his thumbs popped one button off, and then another, until her chest was slowly exposed in front of him-

Nick reached up and rubbed his eyes with his hands. He shifted his body so that he was laying on his side.

He leaned down and placed another kiss onto her lips. Her hands slowly traveled up his chest, pulling him down to her as she covered her mouth hotly over his.

Grabbing a pillow, he threw it onto his face and shook his head. He was surely going to have issues falling asleep tonight. He blamed it on his inner writer, who, for some reason, enjoyed throwing around ideas to what could be happening inside his made-up fantasy. He sighed to himself in the dark, and traveled his own hand to where the middle belt notch rested on his pants.

Hopefully it wasn't gonna be too long of a night.

The next day, Jessica woke up feeling the slightest bit better. She didn't have to protest going to school, and almost felt like things were returning back to normal. She will admit, this was definitely a quick change to her mindset going from our friendship is over to our friendship is saved yay post-it notes in practically a matter of seconds. One part of her felt as if she'd owed an apology to her friends for giving them emotional whiplash. The other part, however, felt as if this was needed for her own character development.

So, here Jessica was, standing in the halls high and mighty. She walked into class where she saw a pile of papers stacked on her desk. She smiled and walked over to it, sitting down and cracking her knuckles in front of her.

"A new read, ay?" Jess began, her emotions chipper and positive. Nick nodded his head silently to her before turning back to the board. Jessica tilted her head in confusion but proceeded to scan the paper. It wasn't with typewriter ink this time, but regular computer ink. Before she could sincerely question why, her eyes traveled over to the foreign name written a few times on the page.

Paige Knight. Who the hell was Paige?! And why was she written on this page? Jessica looked up incredulously at the back of Nick's head. Boy, did he have some major explaining to do.

to be continued...

ooOOOooh cliffhanger AGAIN. I had to do it to you all. But fear not, I will be trying to update more frequently than I have been. I will honestly try! Just... maybe try not to hold your breath too long.

Until next time... xo