Chapter 34

Gordon sat with his feet dipped in the pool on another sun kissed day. He swished his legs savouring the cool feeling of the water as it rushed over his calves. He was a bag of nerves as he watched the skies intently. Six months. That was how long she had been gone. Six agonising months of being wrenched in two and he still didn't know if there was hope for them.

He replayed that day over and over. The memory would come unbidden in the middle of the night or assault him mid mission. Sometimes a paragraph in a book or a turn of phrase from one of his brothers could trigger it. He couldn't forget, it was like he'd been caught in a time capsule ever since, suspended until she came home.

They'd sat on the rocks overlooking the bay as the sun set, the orange and red hues making it seem like the sun was bleeding into the ocean, colouring it an inky yellow. He knew she'd been crying from the tear-stained tramlines where her usually meticulous eye liner had bled, her skin a mottled pink. He'd braced for the worst already trying to reinforce his heart with steel. She spoke softly to her hands, not able to make eye contact at all. "Gordon there's no easy way to tell you this….. but I have some news and I wanted you to be one of the first to hear it. Splitting with Alan has been really tough and I think we both need time apart to recover. I'm taking up an apprenticeship at the Tracy industries division in Malaysia for twelve months where I will study spacecraft computer programming to enhance my bachelors in aerospace engineering. I've been wanting to complete it for awhile but there's never been a good time…"

He remembered sitting there being struck mute. His throat felt like he swallowed a thousand knifes as he vied for control over his emotions, he didn't know whether to beg or shout at her to stay. Instead, he astounded himself entirely as his hollow voice replied. "Congratulations on getting accepted! That's a hard course to get onto. I am sure you will ace it." He managed to flash a weak smile but the trembling at the edges betrayed him.

"Oh Gordon. I'm so sorry, I really wish things were different. I just….. I can't…" She broke.

"It's ok I understand, Alan needs time, you need time." He remembered the detachment he felt at that exact moment. He knew it was never going to be easy all living together but now he was losing her completely. He was stupid to think they could all remain here together. Had he really been naive enough to think she might just strike up with him straightaway – if at all?

"I'm going to miss you." She sobbed. His heart burned as he pulled her into one last embrace.

"I'll miss you more." He whispered. He gave her one last chaste kiss on the top of the head before he left her there crying. How could he comfort her when he was in pieces? Seeing his heart bleed wasn't going to make her feel any better, was it? He staggered across the jagged rock face before collapsing against it at the end of the footpath. He'd lost her and it was all his fault. He pushed her too quickly, he should have been more patient! If only he had given her time to work through her feelings for Alan first. He was wracked with guilt knowing she was carrying the burden of not telling Alan what had occurred only few nights ago. She shouldn't be leaving for his actions, yet there was nothing he could do.

"Hey! I could be drowning here!"

Gordon snapped back to reality as John bobbed up beside him. For the first time in two years John was home for Christmas after Alan had insisted on taking a stint over the holidays. They all knew why but Alan refused to be drawn out any further on what was already a sore subject. He had taken the split better than they'd anticipated but his confidence had been knocked, he tried to ignore Tin-Tin if she cropped up in conversation and he struggled to be alone with Kyrano. Jeff had been in contact every day since his son's changed shift to keep a close eye on his youngest. Gordon was relieved he didn't have to tread water around him anymore. Alan had been incredibly amicable towards him and it was unnerving to say the least. It also did nothing to appease his own guilt and anxiety at the whole situation.

"Don't worry - with your hollow bones I'm pretty sure you'll float."

"Ha-ha wise guy. Bet you don't know how many laps I've done." John anchored his elbows on the edge of the pool, his breaths coming in fast and hard as he tried to regain control, his chest visibly pounding with the effort.

"Forty-six."

"Gee-Whizz! That's impressive right?"

"Second only to me."

"Wow! I guess I'll call it a day then." Silence. John frowned as Gordon gazed heavenward again. He always had a comeback for when they tried to get out of training. John hadn't been back on earth for two months but he could see something was wrong with his younger brother. He'd been worried about six months ago when Gordon was bed ridden with some mystery virus. Gordon was rarely ill, injured yes but ill – never. Scott had said that it made him lethargic and that he'd been confined to his room for the full three days. His father tried to get Gordon to see the doctor but he'd refused. He wouldn't let anyone visit him in case it was contagious. Whatever it was he'd seemed to have recovered, or at least they all thought he had. "Gordon?"

"Huh?"

"Look. I don't mean to pry but you don't seem your usual self. Its not an after effect of this virus you had, is it?" John turned and leapt onto the ledge so he was sat next to Gordon. Gordon didn't even flinch as the dispelled water seeped through his shorts.

"Virus?" Gordon recovered himself, shaking his head. "No, that seemed to be some one-off kind of thing. I'm just tired. It's a full-time job making sure you lot don't drown yourselves on rescues. I had no idea what I was undertaking."

John snorted. "I may not be an Olympian but I spent many years in a pool for astronaut training so I can't be that bad because I survived. So, you can worry a little less. Is this anything to do with Tin-Tin?"

Gordon twisted around abruptly. "What do you mean?" His shoulders tensed; his hands looked like they were ready to springboard him away. The conversation had turned on a dime. John raised his brows in surprise at such a strong reaction.

"Nothing in particular, only that she's home today and I know you and her are closer than the rest of us. I can imagine the separation has been hard. The island must be pretty lonely without her when the others are out. I seem to remember you were too ill to say goodbye, which can't have helped." John knew from the rescue logs he kept that Gordon had only been on two of the eleven missions this month, sure Brains was around but he was almost always in the lab during the day working. It really wouldn't surprise him if that was why Gordon was feeling low.

Gordon's hands eased down onto their palms again as his legs went back to swishing in the water. "It's been…strange but I've gotten by, it's given me more time to prank dad and I've been keeping Kyrano company."

"I bet dad's been enamoured with your attentions."

A ghost of a smile flashed across Gordon's face. "And he hasn't even opened his present yet. Tt's a work of art."

John shook his head before clapping Gordon on the shoulder. "Well at least Tin-Tin will be home soon, maybe she can keep you out of trouble." Gordon jolted forwards as the pressure of John's firm grip left his shoulder as he pushed himself upwards. John didn't see Gordon's crestfallen expression at his remark. Gordon doubted their friendship was still intact after all that had occurred between them. A familiar whine filled the air that had Gordon scrambling to his feet, Thunderbird One was already above him. The pool started to slide as he clambered back into the safety of the lower floor of the villa.

Gordon meandered at a slow walk to the lounge, full of apprehension but with a quake of excitement at the thought of being able to see her in person. Their relationship was currently awkward, neither knowing how to handle or express these new feelings, both unsure of how far they should tease each other or what topics were 'safe'. The naturalness of their friendship had fled but every tentative message, GIF or email seemed to be closing the rift. He'd last messaged her just last night and she'd replied with how excited she was to be coming home and to see them. His hand trailed along the dresser in the hall, slowing his steps as he got closer to the lounge. From the messages they had exchanged it seemed Tin-Tin still genuinely cared for him, she always asked about his day, how he was and what he'd been up to; but then Tin-Tin was a sweetheart she'd ask most people those kinds of questions. His brothers occasionally asked after Tin to her father so he took some comfort in fact they obviously they weren't all on direct messaging terms with her. At first, he'd been hurt at her leaving but he could also sympathise with her reasoning. The last thing he wanted was for her to feel rushed into a decision that would make her uncomfortable. He remembered after the first night they'd spent together she said she felt something for him, he had to take this as a good sign, surely?

He stepped into the lounge just as Tin-Tin and Scott came up in the lift. He would always escort her up if she'd travelled alone. Scott gave her one last hug before offering to deposit her suitcase in her room. Kyrano stood patiently next to the desk and smiled as his daughter caught sight of him. "Father!" She squealed and ran across the room before colliding with him. Gordon felt a rush of love for her as she leant back, the concern evident in her expression as she assessed her father's condition. Gordon had tried to reassure her but knew she would have to see for herself.

He slipped by undetected to join John at the seating area as Tin-tin went to hug his father. "How's your studies going Tin-Tin?"

"Very well thank you, I'm predicted a distinction at present."

"That's swell!" injected Virgil playfully hugging her from behind. Gordon tried not to scowl at the easy-going gesture, he and John were a lot less tactile than Virgil and Scott. John eyed the chess board on the table. "Fancy a game?"

"You bet!" Relieved at the welcome distraction, Gordon helped to set up the board opting to take the black. Tin-Tin, Brains and Virgil had gotten swept up in a conversation about the latest Callisto rover and the feat of engineering that it was. All of them seemed to be speculating about its latest capabilities and if the programming would be sufficient for its exploration needs. After awhile the game acquired his attention completely, you couldn't afford to be complacent when John played like Alan raced.

Eventually a silent crowd gathered. Scott propped himself on the arm of John's chair as Tin-tin and Virgil settled opposite. Brains hovered over Gordon's shoulder. Gordon sat forwards with his hands interlocked between his open knees assessing the board. Somehow, he'd allowed his older brother to corner him between a Rook and a Bishop with the Queen on the war path. Gordon had his King, Queen and one measly prawn left. His queen was too far away to assist and his pawn not worthy to counter attack. Sensing defeat, he sighed. He knew he had too much on his mind to best John today. "As its near Christmas i'll play nice…." He flipped his king down to fresh cheers from Scott. Scott was always gleeful when someone managed to beat him for he could rarely do it himself.

"Why thank you, I think you saved us both a painful conclusion there. Gee is that the time?" John stretched looking up at the clock.

"There's monopoly tomorrow." Gordon replied jubilantly which elicited several groans of consternation's. "What?! Its Christmas! You all promised! Christmas is truce day where the game is no longer forbidden. I'll promise I'll be good this year – if you leave the airports alone."

"Hmm not likely." Muttered Scott. They were his and he commanded them like USAF bases. Everyone knew if you controlled the airports, you controlled the game. Although Virgil would swear by Mayfair because that's the way Penelope played and you stood to make the most profit if you could bag Park lane he would argue.

"Now Scott you wouldn't be thinking of snatching said airports, would you?" Tin-Tin smiled. Gordon snapped to attention suddenly acutely conscious of her presence once again. A pounding struck up in his chest.

"I don't have to snatch what's already mine sweetheart." Scott winked as he grabbed his tumbler.

"Hopes and dreams from the jailhouse." Gordon mocked to bouts of laughter. He felt electrified at Tin-Tin's distinct peal of laughter, he'd missed her so much.

Scott sipped his drink. "We'll see."

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

Christmas eve was drawing to a close as Gordon finished the last of his maintenance checks. He'd tried to spend time with the family but the more time he spent in her company the more he felt exposed, like everyone would know his true feelings for Tin-Tin. So, he'd retreated to the safe confines of the hangar with a task that never failed to grant him some escapism. His calloused hands trailed over the underside as he inspected Thunderbird four for any signs of cracks or damage. He'd already extracted a large wad of rubbery seaweed from the service panel and buffed out a couple of scrapes. His hand extended to the left just as a shadow passed by. He cocked his head "Hello?"

No response. Odd; he could have sworn someone was there. He pushed out on the board, the strobe lights of the hangar blinding him momentarily. He tried to get up, grunting with the effort as he realised his back had locked. "Dammit!" he knew he'd been under for too long. A shadow passed across him before she knelt down. "Are you alright?"

He that was a loaded question. "Erm yeah just doing a bit of maintenance so I better get back to it." He tried to push off back under but winced at the jarring sensation. He felt himself pulled forwards again, the castors squeaking in protest.

"Gordon Tracy, are you avoiding me?" A soft smile bloomed at odds with the concern in her nephrite eyes.

"I'd rather not be." His eyes went wide, that was definitely meant to have been in his head! She burst out laughing.

"Come here." She gently pulled him off the board so they were stood together. "Gordon, I'm so sorry I left the way I did. I was worried. I didn't want to rush straight into another relationship but since I've been away; I keep thinking about little things like last Christmas when we danced, when we had the water fight by the pool and I slid taking us both out in a splash - you shielded me from hitting my head on the side. Then there was the time where you shielded me from the rain with your jacket last monsoon. I like the way you play with your fringe when your nervous, you have a way of brightening my darkest days." Her words rushed out of her, leaving her breathless. "Oh! i'm making a terrible mess of this! Gordon I can't stop thinking about you." She put a hand to her mouth surprised by her own admission.

He was numb, the cold spreading to his extremities and rendering him senseless. Was this real? She backed away crushed by his silence, cringing into herself. "Oh no. I'm too late, aren't I? You must hate me for leaving like I did." She turned away.

His hand whipped out grabbing her wrist. "Hate you? I get disappointed when I look at my phone and it's not you, I daydream about what it would be like to hold you in my arms, I can't think straight when I'm near you. I don't hate you Tin; I love you!"

She gasped whispering faintly. "Love me?"

"Ever since I clapped eyes on you at that observatory." His hold on her was fragile, still not believing this moment was taking place in reality.

She glanced up at him surprised. All these months after that night on the boat and now he chose to spill his heart. All that time he'd tried to deny his feelings to protect his brother, to protect her. Her heart swelled with joy that had been tentatively brewing since that morning. She knew Gordon cared for her, perhaps even wanted to be with her and she prayed he would say yes to dating her; but this was more than she could ever have thought possible! It made her giddy in a way she'd never experienced before. She took his face in her hand, tracing the contour of his well-defined cheekbone as he melted into her touch.

"I can't wait to be with you." Tin-Tin murmured softly.

His hands fell to her waist. "Are you sure this is what you want?" He asked hesitantly. "Because i'd understand if you didn't. I know our relationship won't be easy not with Al" -

"Look up."

He frowned at her perplexed.

She rolled her eyes. "Just do as your told for once. Tonight is about you."

He squinted above him his upturned face breaking into a grin. Tin-Tin pressed the button in her pocket that worked the overhead winch. They watched as the hook nosily unwound to just above their heads, the cluster of fresh mistletoe spinning around.

He slowly looked down. "Is that what I think it is?"

"Uh-huh."

"You know most kisses under the mistletoe involve a tussle - usually with an overzealous man" –

"Oh, I'm counting on it." She replied huskily into his ear lifting onto her tip-toes. He shivered as he felt her exhale.

"I've always thought…"

"Stop thinking." She pulled him into a hard kiss, crushing his lips against hers before pushing deeper and longer leaving him winded. He pushed her up against the side of four, his hands tracing along her sides and down to her hips. One of her hands was lost in his hair as he caressed her neck, his lips skimming her exposed skin causing her to whimper out loud. Her other hand unzipped his overalls. His lips broke into a smile against her neck as he worked towards her clavicle. Not thinking was easy. "Anyone down there?"

They broke apart, eyes wide before slipping to the floor. Gordon put a finger to his lips and indicated she should stay low. He mouthed "I've got this."

He swiped a rag out of his back pocket and pretended to wipe his hands before stepping out of the shadows.

"Rather late to be working on Christmas eve isn't it son?" Jeff stood arms resting on the railing above.

Gordon glanced at his watch trying to steady his wrist. "Wow is that the time? I had no idea. I've just got to change a fuse and I'll be up."

"Alright; but don't be too late, you need to give St Nick time to visit before sunrise."

Gordon beamed. "I think he's already been."

"Well, your old man needs his beauty sleep which can't happen when you come banging along the landing in the middle of the night."

"Ten minutes I promise."

Jeff grunted. make that thirty then. "Goodnight, Son"

"Night dad!" He started to walk away.

"Is that mistletoe?"

Gordon coloured, feeling the rising heat above his collar. "Yeah, but its all part of an elaborate scheme to get John his first kiss this Christmas."

Gordon could feel the eye roll burning into his back. "Forget I asked."

"Already have."

Once he was sure his dad was gone, he pulled Tin-Tin up off her knees. She helped him to pack up the tools before they walked to the elevator. They both smiled at each other as it went up.

"So where do we go from now? I take you want to take things slow?" Gordon held her hand.

"With the family yes, I think it would be good to keep our relationship on the quiet for a bit longer but for us no."

"I think can live with that." After all its not like he hadn't led a double life before. Better to give Alan as much time as possible. He squeezed her hand before breaking their hold as the elevator came to a stop.

He leaned down "Meet me outside my room in ten."

"See you in five."

He snorted before practically falling out of the elevator. She giggled as he left. It wouldn't always be this easy, there would certainly be hurdles to come but none of that mattered tonight. She was safe in the knowledge that what ever repercussions they may face, they would face them together and there was no one she'd rather face them with. He was hers and she would be his.

The end! Thank you so much to those of you that have seen this through to the end, for all the views and the reviews its been really fun to write and i will miss writing this one. I hope you have enjoyed it too. I am debating a sequel but it may be awhile, i'm taking a short hiatus to work on another thunderbirds story and I have another Scott one to write soon. That one will be rated M for themes of violence and extreme peril. Thanks once again for reading :-)