"These violent delights have violent ends
And in their triump die, like fire and powder
Which, as they kiss, consume" - William Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet.
Chapter I:
The die is cast.
"MEDICAL STUDENT EREN JAEGER IS REQUIRED AT HEADMASTER'S OFFICE. EREN JAEGER IS REQUIRED AT HEADMASTER'S OFFICE".
A feminine voice resounds uninterruptedly through the loudspeakers in the east wing of the university campus, in the Immunology corridor. A 19 year-old man, with sharp eyes and a soft semblance, stands up from his chair and leaves the classroom. He walks calmly, with the curiosity of a child gleaming in his eyes, and as cautious as a man his age. Hands in his pockets, bag hanging from his shoulders and hair tied in a manbun; head without worries and his lighter inside his fist, waiting to lit the next cigarette of the day. He frowns, even when he's not mad, and his vocal chords draw the chorus of a Led Zeppelin's song in the form of a whistle. His physical appeal catches the eyes of two girls that walk next to him in the corridor, but he ignores them, focused on the place he must go to. The day seems to be perfect to go for a cheeseburger after class, or at least that's what he decides in less than a second. The next minute, his right foot crosses the doorstep at the Headmaster's, and the sunray that comes through the window dazzles him.
That's it.
It's right here when his life turns around. He can't foresee it. And it's such a violent twist, just as the crashing of waves against the seashore.
It's a phone call.
The phone goes to his hand and he answers.
"Eren Jaeger?" a masculine voice asks from the other side of the line.
"It's me".
"I'm Oluo Bozado, nurse at Shiganshina Hospital's Emergency Unit. Mrs. Carla Jaeger has been admitted here after suffering a car accident. I ask you to-
Beeeeeeeeeeep.
Before the nurse can conclude his explanation, Eren gives the phone back to its place. Every movement is mechanic since the very moment he hears his mother's name until his eardrums notice the word "accident". He thanks the Headmaster's secretary as a mere reflex, as his feet make him walk out via memory muscle, too disturbed to give any response. However, his contorted features should have given the Headmaster some clues about his sudden departure.
With no time to think straight, he goes out of the building. His instinct guides him as some sort of invisible thread that shows the way to go. Nevertheless, he can't comprehend how he has made his way to the hospital, for everything he knows about himself is that he's about to ask for his mother at the reception.
"I'm Eren Jae-
The nurse in duty stops him from saying more, noticing his identity. She takes the phone, dials an extension and waits until another feminine voice answers.
"Doctor Brzenska, Mrs Jaeger's son is waiting at the reception" a pause "Yeah?" another pause "Fine. I'll tell him" the call ends "Doctor is on her way here" the nurse tells him. Eren is visibly anxious, but it doesn't take long until a middle-aged, ash-haired woman with glasses dressed in a lab coat appears.
"Is it you?" she asks the boy. He nods out of inertia, sensing that she is Dr. Brzenska "Wow. You are quite young"
Eren shakes his head in irritation.
"Doctor, I need no detours. Tell me how's my mom"
"Boy, she's out of danger. But now, join me to the cafeteria. There are a couple of things I'd like to talk to you about."
Eren does not understand.
Both the corridors of the Emergency Unit and the cafeteria of the building look like a pandemonium. People rush back and forth, others drink coffee in order to kill time, or simply stir anxiously awaiting news. Although it is spring, the gloomy sky and the cold air outside seem to be borrowed from a declining autumn. A side of the boy's brain wonders if this is what he really wants to do at the end of his medical degree: facing the stress of saving some lives and the frustration that comes with losing others; the busy existence of a doctor and the accompanying moral dilemmas. If he wants to be a hero, he must be prepared to face the chaos that such responsibility brings; He can't help but notice the chill running down his spine at the thought of it, and yet all that occupies in his mind at the moment is what comes out of Dr. Brzenska's mouth.
Carla was ran over by a supply truck that lost control of the steering wheel. The driver soon called an ambulance that took her to the nearest medical center, where she was now out of danger, except for a fracture to her right arm and a pavement wound to her face. However it is not this event the one that draws on Eren Jaeger's face the very specter of agony itself.
"Cancer?"
The word escapes his mouth like an unexpectedly bitter drink. His tongue is heavy, his lungs being loaded with dense oxygen that prevents him from breathing easily. How did it start? When? Why? His mother's newly discovered illness is drawn in his mind like a dense cloud that oppresses his lungs and blackens his future. Of all the people in the world, fate could not choose another victim of its whims. Eren's fists helplessly clench, and he decides to finish listening to the doctor's diagnosis.
"However," Brzenska continues, "I could say that your mother's accident today was a miracle, boy"
Eren is filled with outrage. How she dare to say that?
"What are you talking about?"
Dr. Brzenska laughs amid the gloom of the conversation, which for his interlocutor is outrageously scandalous.
"If that man hadn't run over your mother, we never would have discovered her cancer, Eren. Or maybe we would have, in a very advanced and deadly phase nevertheless. Carla's brain tumor is in its first phase and is still removable. All we need is her health insurance number and your authorization to carry out the surgery as soon as possible."
The woman in a lab coat smiles. Eren doesn't. He wishes he could feel as relaxed as the doctor is, if only it were that easy. If only his mother had health insurance, or the income to be able to authorize a Tumor removal. If only his father ... If only he had a father ... If only …
"She ... Does she know this already?"
The doctor nods at the question. He sighs.
"She also knows that you would find out."
"May I talk to her?" The boy asks, crestfallen. The doctor looks at her pulse watch for a few seconds and nods.
"Fine. You got fifteen minutes. Third floor, room four."
"Thank you."
That is all he answers.
No matter how much he wishes, he cannot see the light at the end of the tunnel.
Not yet.
His feet start getting heavy.
His sneakers crawl across the hallway, with the heaviness of a pair of anchors. The news he has just received meander through his mind like a column of smoke that filters through a tube, invading his brains, as for he has not yet been able to process it. The unstable gravity of the elevator that takes him to the third floor of the pavilion turns his stomach into a whirlpool and, although he doesn't notice it, the air that hits his face when the floodgates are opened relieves his insides.
His eyes seeking for room number four. But he also doesn't know how he gets here. Sometimes, his body moves by inertia, like an automaton. Somehow Eren goes on until he comes across the white door that leads to his mother.
Then his eyes find her. For the first time in many hours.
In his silent agony, Eren wonders what would become of him if he could never see her again. The simple idea is nightmarish, unforgivable, scandalous. Carla is everything he has and everything he loves. She is his life, She is the unconditional love embedded in a single being, dedicated only to him, to his well-being, to his safety. She is the personification of the Heaven's beauty and the Creator's deity and leniency. She is a pair of amber-colored orbs that look at him tenderly and gently rebuke him. She is the hands that have worked tirelessly to provide him with everything.
She is his mother.
A lump forms in his throat and he undoes it by swallowing. He needs to speak correctly.
"Mom?"
The brown-haired woman turns on her back so that she can look at her son. Despite the pain of her injuries, she greets him with a smile. She has a scratch on her cheek and a bandaged arm; but if she could see herself in a mirror, the only thing that would worry her would be that the doctors would see her hair a mess.
"My dear, you're here," the woman breathes, straightening up with great difficulty. But she is stubborn, and tries not to show her frailness. However, her child knows her well enough to know that she needs help.
"Yes, ma. I'm here."
As he talks, Eren offers his arm for her to lean on, watching the liquid dripping down the plastic tube into his mother's veins through the catheter. Then he kisses her forehead, discovering a few sneaky gray hairs in the woman's head.
"Isn't this your class time?" Carla looks worried. Eren takes a seat next to her.
"You're more important. How are you feeling?"
"Much better now that my baby is here," she warns, laughing. Her laugh is so contagious that the boy can't help but follow it, albeit very briefly. "When are you going to get me out of this place? I left many things unfinished at home."
"You won't get out of here until you get that surgery."
Carla inhales and exhales loudly.
"Eren," she calls him, and her face hardens, "that surgery will have to don't have money to pay for something so expensive …"
"Mom, I don't care. I'll do anything, anything, so you can have that surgery. I'll sell my scholarship, I'll work at night, I'll do whatever I-
"Eren, I don't want you to say that again. Is it crystal clear? Promise that you'll never, ever mention something like that regarding your scholarship."
"But, Mom-
"But? Don't you remember how much it took us to get here, Eren? Don't you remember my sacrifices to enroll you in a good school and all we prayed to Heavens for that scholarship to be given to you? Don't you remember how much you wanted to become a doctor and everything we did so that today you can be where you are? Listen to me, Eren Jaeger; listen to your mother carefully: you won't throw your future away for this. In no way. I won't allow it."
Eren clenches his fists. His mother can not reckon how desperate he is. He straightens, makes his way to the window, letting a gust of air appease him.
"I knew you'd say that. But I won't let you die, Carla. No way I'd do that."
"I'd die if it's my time to. But I won't let go to waste everything we've tried so hard to accomplish , Eren".
Silence settles over them like a gray cloud. Eren sighs, reflecting, thinking of soft ways to discuss with his mother without unsettling her more than she is. Bewildered, he turns his back on her; it's way easier to avoid her complaints if he's not looking her in the eye.
"I'll do whatever I have to do to save you", he declares, determined. "And you won't stop me, and I don't care if you're my mother. Stop thinking you can tell me what I must do, because I'm not a kid anymore; this time I have to think for the two of us. You've done enough, mom. Now, whatever happens, it's my turn."
Carla snorts sarcastically.
"And you think you are old enough to tell ME what to do?"
"I am, and I'll do it as long as I'm in charge of you".
"I'm not a child or an old lady"
"You're sick and you'll die if you don't get the tumor removed"
"Eren, you won't-
"This is not in question, mom. I'll get the money no matter what, and you'll get out of this."
"Eren! Why are you so stubborn? Can't you listen to me at least for once in your life? I don't want you to do that with your scholarship and I don't want you to quit school. It's my responsibility to get that money, not yours. And if you don't want me to get mad at you, then stop thinking nonsense right away."
This time, Eren turns around. He needs to look at her to say what he's about to say.
"Alright", he surrenders, hands in his pockets, his eyes fixed in his mother's, almost defiant. Carla knows well that this means no good. "Alright, mom. We'll do it your way. But it won't be you who gets the money we need."
"Oh? So, tell me, Mr. Responsible: where are we going to get it from?"
He fills his lungs with oxygen in a long breath. Inside his pocket, his fingers touch the lighter. Sunlight starts to decline, sunset leaking through the window glass and curtains.
"It's time for the Ackermans to pay the debt they have to you."
The door opens ajar, giving Carla no time to react. It's a nurse, coming to announce that the visit time has ended.
"You can come at nighttime to take care of her. But for now, we ask you to leave, Mr…"
"Jaeger", he states. His mother is speechless. A promise, a former debt connects her to those people that were once her friends. And she wonders how's that her son knows that story. Has he been digging into her hidden treasures? Has he read all those letters that belonged to her past and her deceased husband she has tried so zealously to hide? The Ackerman name is one that, certainly, her son shouldn't link to her past, and the incident has left her speechless.
"I'll be back later, mom", he says, kissing her forehead. In a second, his shape disappears behind the door and she loses sight of him beyond all the white shadows wandering in the corridor. When she calls his name, it's too late. Only the nurse can hear her.
Ackerman.
Carla's heart sinks at the memory. At the sound. At the name.
And at the same time, time whims start weaving her past with the cords of his future together, knitting the nets that will take her son to his own ruin. But nothing can stop Eren. Fate is written, and even though once she tried so hard to change it, life offers her nothing else than an emphatic refusal. There's nothing she can do, no matter how hard she tries, for the stars have spoken a long time before his birth.
The die is cast.
A.N: I'm back. After a long break from writing. I hope you guys like this story, and I'd be so thankful if you all take your time to leave a review to let me know you want me to go on. I missed writing Eremika so so much. A big hug to you all.