(So, this is a break from my other stories. I've just watched all of Duck Tales and the first thing that crossed my mind at the end was basically 'What if Scrooge and Crowley met?' Two shrewd businessmen, with a penchant for plans and who will turn your assholery back on you in an instant. Turnabout is fair play and while we're at it here's a double dose. So what would a conversation about business look like? If people are interested I'll keep working on it. I have one more chapter planned, but after that only vague ideas. So if you want to see more tell me!)

Scrooge McDuck sat at his desk in the money bin, signing papers. It'd been a long day. No it'd been a long week. Webby had snuck down into the secret vault, with Huey this time, and nearly gotten impaled by the unicorn, again. It had run amok down there, wreaking havoc and causing damage to numerous other vaults, including one that held a crocotta. So now that beast knew Huey and Webby's voices, which was not good for Scrooge's sanity whenever he went down there. Louie had snuck down there after the two with a pair of scissors. Scrooge shook his head, no, shears were more accurate.

The unicorn had not taken kindly to the attempt to acquire some of its golden mane, or a bit of horn. Webby had taken it even less so. All three were beat up rather badly, and had been suspended from adventuring for a week. That had led to Scrooge and Dewey going on an adventure by themselves. It had been successful, they had gotten the lost idol of Quetzalcoatl, but.. Scrooge looks at his left hand, at the distinct lack of feathers on the pinky. He had fared better than Dewey who was now locked in his room in shame, his tail feathers quite singed. It would have been his entire behind if Scrooge hadn't pushed him out of the way.

Scrooge sighed. Somedays, he genuinely worried that the kids would get themselves killed. Or paralzyed. Or eaten. Or… lost. True, they had always come back ...so far. Della had helped, providing an extra pair of eyes on many adventures, or a distraction for the kids when something was too… advanced or… disturbing for the children. Like the succubi and inccubi he had encountered last week. He doesn't know How Glomgold had gotten hold of some, but he had been quite emphatic that he attend to the… infestation in his office with Beakley alone. The bin had been entirely shut down and he had gone in with holy water and a heavy duty water gun with pressurized CO2 canisters, to take care of the problem.

He couldn't have taken Launchpad, the man was a hero and would have flocked to the false women. Della had been sequestered on the moon for years and her yearning for Any type of affection would have undone her. Gyro was Not a fighter, and sending in clones would have only made the demons stronger with each kill. Fenton might have succeeded, but he had a soft side. Beakley was a professional, she could turn off emotions as needed when it came to getting the job done… except when it came to family.

Scrooge knew how to throw up that wall from years of solitude and he had all the love he needed from his family…

But if he lost them. Any of them.

He shudders and sighs before going back to the signing of papers and business plans. Usually he loved going over these, but today his heart wasn't in it. Finding ways to squeeze out every last penny for efficiency, without it being hazardous to workers was usually an interesting problem. Happy workers, safe work environment, meant increased productivity meant more money. Planning out an endeavor for maximum efficiency was as intense as planning for an adventure. Failing at either could mean you ended up between a rock and a hard place, metaphorically or literally. But Scrooge's mind is elsewhere. What next adventure could the family go on that wouldn't be hazardous to their health, and his blood pressure?

"Mr McDuck."

The sound of the pager echoes through the office with his secretary's voice bringing him out of his thoughts. The old duck sighs but presses the button to answer nonetheless. Perhaps a welcome distraction from plots and plans that didn't seem to distract him enough from his worries today.

"Yes Miss Prim?"

"Uhm, there is someone here to see you." Scrooge thinks for a moment. He has no appointments that he can remember. He holds down the intercom button and talks quietly.

"Who is it? If it's a solicitor-"

"No, I mean yes. I mean… I don't know. He seems like a legitimate businessman. And he does want to make a deal." Scrooge rolls his eyes as he holds down the comm button, but is grateful for the interruption. He doesn't want to deal with paperwork right now.

"So he is a solicitor!"

"Yessss, but he says he doesn't want money." At this Scrooge pauses.

"What does he want then?" Silence. "Miss Prim, Ah'm not knoown for my patience."

"He… won't say." More and more intriguing. A wonderful distraction, or complete waste of time. Scrooge scowls, he's been at the other end of enough cons to smell them even over an intercom. He looks at the clock. 6PM closing time.

"Then send him away. It's too late in tha day anyway."

"Uh… He says that's why he came now. So you could speak without interruption." Scrooge's eyes narrow, this was not normal. Unless the deal was shady… Or so valuable he didn't want prying eyes. He's pondering this when the comm buzzes to life again. "Uhm…"

"Miss Prim, if ya continue tah be this inarticulate Ah will have tah find another secretary!"

"He… he unnerves me sir." The last part comes in as a whisper. It's surprising, Prim dealt with con artists, criminals, and Glomgold frequently, but this man scared her?

"Why?"

"I don't know, he's perfectly congenial, he's nice, handsome.." Scrooge had hired Miss Primm not only for her secretarial ability, but her ability to judge character, even when people tried to hide it. So if Miss Primm didn't like him, was actually afraid of him… McDuck wanted nothing to do with the man.

"Send him out."

"He… says he has a business proposition. That won't cost you a dime."

"Yes, but what is it!? I have no time for worthless proposals."

"He says he could… what was that number Sir? ... Multiply your current holdings by 1.5%." Scrooge pauses, his eyes widening and his concern dissipating at the thought of that much money. It was quite a bold claim considering the amount he had.

"And what does He want? Thirty percent? Fifty!? It won't cost me a dime Naow, but in a year when tha profits come in?" There is silence. "Well!?"

"Zero sir. He's not interested in money." Scrooge's brain short circuits for a half second, getting a 1.5% increase to his current gross worth, for Free. He shakes his head. No, too good to be true.

"What! How, No Why is he here talking to tha Richest Duck in tha wourld if he don' want my money! What does he want?" Scrooge pauses and looks at the clock on the desk again. It's 6, late. He shakes his head. For 1.5 he could spare the last hour of his day before he went home to the inevitable chaos that was now the McDuck mansion.

"Send him in."

"He… he says he'll wait till after hours."

"What! Naow listen here, if this man thinks he can just coome in here and walk aboot like he owns the place-" Scrooge yells into the comm, forgetting for a moment that he is speaking to his secretary, and not the man himself.

"Uh, he says he can start his way up now, but it will take a while. He won't take the elevator."

"Well why not?"

"He… says he can't."

"Don't be ridiculous."

"I'm assuming… it's a phobia sir."

"Oh." Scrooge feels bad, for almost a second. The strong could overcome such problems with hard work. Which meant this man was weak, and perhaps manipulatable. "Well, he can take tha stairs, but Ah'll have my eyes on him!"

The comm goes quiet and Scoorge McDuck goes to the meeting room, dark lit and foreboding, where all the surveillance equipment appears at the touch of a button.

"Now, let's see just who ya are." Sitting in the seat the old duck looks at the screens showing corridor after corridor. Most depicted many many people leaving, but one is walking the other way. He is wearing a black suit, with a black shirt, and a black tie. He holds no briefcase, no accoutrement whatsoever besides a peacoat. Which is draped over his left arm. Scrooge narrows his eyes as the man walks up the stairs. A dog of dubious pedigree looks directly back at him, at the camera, and smiles. Completely nondescript and unassuming in every way. But the smile, the smile exudes a confidence that he supposes one could find attractive, seductive… misleading and able to put someone in a false sense of ease. This man was an actor, who was not putting on an act right now.

"What are ya after ya mangy mongrel?" The canine walks up the stairs and pauses, then looks at the wall, before going out the door. "Hey! That's not the way to my office! Where do ya think yer goin? There's valuable stuff..." Scrooge is about to turn on the intercom when he sees the young dog walk past the door to his personal library, the one with a few artifacts. He skirts the room, walking as close to the other side of the hall as possible. Scrooge watches, confused, and intrigued, as the dog avidly avoids nearly every room that has something of value in it. He winds down the hallway like a snake, workers eyeing him strangely as he walks past.

"What the devil?" He watches as the dog approaches a room, one with quite a bit of valuable information on file. The man walks past it, directly, without swerving, snapping his fingers once as he does so. "What is goin on here? Who have Ah let into my bin?"

Scrooge watches as the man passes by many many doors, including one to the coin sorting room, which he also does not swerve away from. Frowning Scrooge brings up diagrams of the building as the solicitor walks up the stairs at the end of the hall, this time going up two flights before opening the door to the hallway. Scrooge's eyes narrow as he watches the man maneuver away from seemingly random doors, making note of which ones he's avoiding. By the end of the hall, Scrooge sits back in the chair, eyes wide.

"He's avoidin almost every room that has magical protection! But why? How? He cannae know tha layout! ...Unless...That's why he couldn' take tha elevator! He can't go near tha warding, he'd have been crushed!" Scrooge stands up quickly, rushing toward the emergency cabinet of weapons. "It's not Who have Ah let into mah bin, it's What have Ah let into mah bin!" He grabs the gun and pauses. "Ah have no idea what will work against him." Turning back to the screen, Scrooge watches as the mutt meanders the hall, taking note of which warded rooms he's not avoiding, and which ones he is.

By the 15th floor Scrooge has come to no conclusion except that this man is very smart.

"He has to be avoidin ones that don' matter to him too! There's not a wee lick a sense to his meanderin." Scrooge sighs. "Ah can't believe Ahm sayin this, but Ah wish this were Glomgold, at least then Ah'd know what was goin on. Pure stupidity!" Scrooge looks back at the weapon's cabinet and then the screen again, then the cabinet. "No! Ahm Scrooge McDuck! Ahm Smarter than the smarties, tougher than the toughies!" He reaches up and grabs the musket and a short sword. He stares at the second fondly. The Brigadier; an iron and silver sword tipped in gold, blessed by five different religions, and enchanted. It had cost a good million dollars but it had saved his life many times, and ended quite a few monster's. He hadn't taken it on adventures for years. Too dangerous. To say it was cursed was putting it wrong, and lightly, but the curse wasn't a curse per say… it was however hazardous to anyone besides the wielder. It highly raised the aptitude in battle, along with the appetite for it. The more you fought with it, the more you wanted to fight. Scrooge had had it enchanted over the curse, a power word that broke the curse for a moment, just a moment, but enough to get a clear head and drop the sword. Detox was difficult, but putting it behind iron and enchantments helped. However, now in his grasp… old memories of sailing down ropes and swinging through the air swirling the sword with precision all rise to make him yearn for adventure. Dangerous adventure.

Scrooge grips the blade tightly and smiles. Perhaps he'd get it tonight.

"I missed ya, ya beauty. Let's dance tonight, just tha three of us." Scrooge whips the sword back and forth with years of practice. The hilt felt natural in his hands, as if it had never left. He hadn't had an actual fight since the Klondike with Goldy. Not one that challenged him. No, the challenge now was fighting and keeping his family alive at the same time, and having fun none the wiser of just how bad the danger was.

As Scrooge leaves the surveillance room the gold inlay on the sword glints in the office light and he smiles. Whatever the thing is, whatever it hopes to gain, doesn't stand a chance against Scrooge McDuck! His family was there to help him if he needed it, if he needed to be rescued, but here alone without worrying about their safety he could have a fight that was just his.

The door closes behind him and he sits back at his desk, waiting with the sword under it and the gun to his right hidden from the doorway.

Bringing up his phone he continues his observations of the man who would apparently increase his fortune greatly for no 'monetary' cost. The man was still winding through corridors. This was why he wanted to meet after hours perhaps. To ask him to turn off the protection so he could walk up more quickly.

"Preposterous. Him expecting me, me! To bow to his needs like that. The rude repulsive reprobate!" He watches as the man finally walks up the last corridor toward his office, not even lightly winded. He walks to the door and opens it, without knocking.

"Rude! How dare-"

"Save your bluster. You were waiting for me. We both know it, so stop posturing. Now." The gentleman turns toward Scrooge, standing in front of the desk but a good 10 feet from it, and a good 5 feet to the right, further away from the vault, which had very powerful protections on it. "I have a proposal or two." Scrooge temples his fingers and waits.

"I'm listening."

"First off, I have the answer to your problems." Scrooge raises a brow.

"Ya know where to sell 500,000 gallons of peanut oil?"

"Yes. If that's what you want, but I doubt it."

"Until I know what ya want in exchange, it's a wee bit difficult tah do business!"

"What I want isn't important. It's what I offer. Safety. %100 guaranteed." While calm, there is an edge there in his voice that hides something. It's confident, as if this deal could be just another transaction, not one with the richest duck in the world.

"Who do ya think ya are?" Scrooge yells. Everybody wanted his money, everybody. Either that or his treasure. "Listen here, mah bin is tha safest place-" The man looks around, mildly interested and shakes his head.

"It is very good, not the best, but that's not what I'm here to talk about." Scrooge's eyes narrow, incensed at the insult and casual throwaway nature of the comments, but willing to listen, for a time. "There is something you prize more than your gold. Something that can't be locked away and surrounded with sigils, they are too adventurous."

Scrooge's blood runs cold, then hot. How... how Dare this man threaten his family!

"How how DARE you threaten m-"

"It's not a threat, it's a statement. I am not threatening anything or anyone, yet. I'm here talking to you, because like you, I'm a businessman."

"Ye're noothing like me at all! And don't ya dare threaten mah family!"

"You're right, I'm better dressed and better at it." Scrooge sees red for a moment at the insult.

"This suit cost $500!" The man snorts and pulls a cuff on his suit.

"Armani. Now. Smarter than the smarties, right? That's your favorite saying? Well, I'm not a smarty, I'm the Smartest. I had a feeling that threatening your family outright would make you Less likely to work with me. So, in the interest of business I've come with a proposition." The man snaps and out of thin air appears a map. It hovers for a half second before falling on the desk. Scrooge doesn't hesitate, but with a glare opens the aged parchment, ignoring the magic and weighing down the corners with a few gold coins. It's a simple map, ripped at one edge and therefore useless. There was no way to tell where the map was depicting, unless the other half had more recognizable landmarks, or a name. However, the writing, the handwriting is familiar.

"Ah... recognize this writin."

"It's enochian."

"No! Ah mean tha handwritin!"

"You should." The man snaps and another piece of paper floats to the desk from thin air. Scrooge glares and snatches it before it hits the mahogany. Scanning the map his eyes go wide.

"This is mine! From mah house! How-"

"Unimportant. I-"

"Ah'd say it's very important! How'd ya get into mah mansion!?"

"That's what I'm here to talk to you about. It was far too easy." The man snaps again and another paper lands on the desk. This one a blueprint for a factory Scrooge was planning to build, secret, but not enough to warrant warding or… Scrooge looks up from the document and glares once again.

"Ya pilfering pusillanimous pug! This is from mah office downstairs! It's locked, Ah have tha only key! Ya walked right by it, and Ah know fer a fact ye've never been in this building before!" The gun clicks as he draws it from behind the desk and points it at the man, who looks unfazed.

"Start talkin. Ah don't work with people who use magic tah make things simple for themselves. And stealin' through magic is tha Worst kinda simple!" At this the man's eyes grow dark.

"Simple. It's never been Simple you idiot Lowlander." At this Scrooge raises the gun a bit more and steadies his aim.

"Listen here, Glasgow is tha Best city in Scotland. I don know where yer frem but no botulus British baboon will insult any part of Scotland on my watch!"

"I was from Canisbay, I have every right to talk about my own country as I want!" The gun falters for a second in Scrooge's grip as he takes his eyes from the line of sight. There was a far more important word in there than the man's location!

"Was?" The dog scoffs and begins pacing a bit, never taking his eyes off the gun.

"Please McDuck, I know you were watching me walk up the halls like some sort of voyeur, I know you enjoyed the show."

"I did not!"

"Of course you did, anything you can squeeze information out of, anything that provides a puzzle, a challenge, you eat up faster than a whore sucks dick in the red lights of Glasgow." Scrooge flinches at the vulgar language.

"Now see here, yer in My domain and will speak with some respect or Ahwill throw ya out!" The man sighs and puts his hands in his pockets.

"For once, I'm not here to fight, fuck, or fornicate-"

"I believe two a those are the same thing."

"Well, I like it more than fighting, it deserves a little recognition. Now, I'm here to make a deal. That map leads to enough treasure to multiply your fortune by 1.5%. I want to hire you-"

"Hire Me! I do the hiring! I'm the richest duck in the world!"

"Not this time." There's a snap and both halves of the map vanish into the man's hands. Looking around at the cameras he snaps again and they all shoot sparks. In fact every outlet shoots sparks, As the lights flicker and the back up generator takes over Scrooge has a feeling that any recording from the last five minutes is gone, meaning any images of the map are too. "I'm here to hire the adventurer Scrooge Mcduck to retrieve One item from that and he can keep the rest."

"And if I refuse?"

"Well, besides not getting either halves of your map, or instructions on the traps there, I could be eating duck l'orange for almost a week."

The blast of the gun reverberates in the room with ear shattering reverberations. There is a splatter of red on the carpet and a thud as the mutt faced man falls to the floor. Scrooge stands atop the desk gun still trained on the man, scowl on his face.

"Really, ya didnae even try tah dodge?" The man coughs as he sits up, glaring at his attacker.

"First, ow. Second, you're paying for the suit. Third, as I was saying earlier, I came with no illusions that you'd believe I was mortal by the time I got up here. I Thought we were both too mature and busy to dance around lies like a boy hiding an erection at prom." The man stands and dusts himself off, ignoring the gun in his face. "Now, that's just one part of my proposal. The other is far more enticing."

"Really? More enticing than 1.5%? Or blowing your bloated head off you dim witted dunce of a dog?!"

"Yes." The gun doesn't waiver for a second, but drops to the ground as Scrooge sits back down, the gun in front of him. It was empty now anyway, but the sword under his desk didn't run out of ammo.

"Sit down and spit it out. Time is money, and you're spending a lot of it on the posturing you said wasn important."

"Image is important. It's not posturing if you're doing business and making points."

"Actions speak louder."

"Which is why I've so nicely refrained from killing anyone on my way here. You're welcome."

Scrooge sighs and beckons to the desk.

"Then put down your business plan and-"

"No. Talk first, then a bit of show and tell, Then if we agree we do business in a less… magic area." Says the man looking around with distaste.

"There is no magic here! Magic is a short cut for the weak who don't want to put in the work!"

"There are some things that can only be done by magic, but fortunately I don't deal with it."

"Really, and what do ya call all the snapping?"

"Power. Now, safety as I was saying. I'm assuming you'd like your family to not be served on a platter, to me or anyone else?"

"Hold your tongue or I'll-"

"We are discussing business! Hypotheticals, mostly. So, yes or no? I can offer them protection from anything!"

"Preposterous. Ya can't protect from the unknown."

"Oh, yes I can." The man finally walks forward a few steps before stopping a good 7 feet from the desk still. The expression on his face is smug but welcoming; promising assurance, safety, kindness.

Lies you will happily buy into. Scrooge did not like that.

"And how do ya plan to do that? If Ah'm investin in this Ah want all tha details."

"We talk, wine and dine, agree on a few points, and end the night with a kiss." Scrooge shakes his head.

"Ah don't go into any business deal unless Ah know all the ins and outs."

"I was so hoping you'd say that. I'll show you mine if you show me yours, we can start here and end the night elsewhere in comfort." The man says as he reaches into his suit jacket. Scrooge tenses but relaxes when all he brings out is a scroll. With a flick of the wrist the paper unfurls and rolls out upon the ground.

And rolls.

And rolls.

And rolls.

Looking at the paper, it's length, the language, and the color of the ink, Scrooge knows. He clutches the sword, despite its uselessness, but willing to try nonetheless. He wouldn't let this man within a mile of his family.

"Demon." The words slip out of his mouth quietly and filled with venom.

"King of, actually." The sword flashes from under the table and slices through the air with ease as Scrooge jumps back on top of his desk, sword pointing at the intruder with gleaming intent.

"Lucifer! I'll send ya back from whence ya came ya dastardly demonic dunce!" The demon's eyes flash red and his face changes, lines etched in fury adding deep shadow where smooth skin was moments ago.

"Lucifer was a ponce who couldn't scheme his way out of a ten year loan, let alone make a business plan!"

"Ah don care who ya are! Ye'll stay away from mah family or suffer the ire of Scrooge McDuck!" Scrooge yells as he stands tall on his desk, sword pointing at the demon's breast. The demon remains unfazed.

"Do you really want to threaten me? Me! I threaten men far more terrifying than you on a daily basis. You don't even have a weapon that would do anything other than upset me, and you're willing to give up your position of safety for a chance to fight me?"

Scrooge pauses and then grins. After the incubi and succubi he had reinforced the demon sigils in his office.

"You cannae get close to my desk, can ya?"

"Of course not, you added sigils after I sent those succubi over."

"You? Glomgold-"

"Is an idiot, who do you think provided him with the demons?" Scrooge looks on incredulous at the supposed genius in front of him, at the stupidity that to him is a glowing red light of idiocy.

"What kind of idiot would prepare his enemy for their cooming?" The man shakes his head.

"Perhaps I put my hope too high on the shelf Scrooge, I expected a great thinker. Smarter than the Smarties means knowing when you aren't the toughest in the room. And I doubt your inhibitions are being lessened by my good looks, I don't have golden locks like that 'Bonnie lass' of yours after all. I don't want to hurt you, I want you to fucking cooperate. Those demons were recon on this building and nothing more. As I expected this place is fortified and yet This isn't the place you needed to protect! Your house is. So sit down and talk, or I will wait ten years and hire your nephews when you're dead and in Hell anyway!" Scrooge's shoulders tense at this. Hire his nephews instead of him? Would he really? The demon smiles, knowing he finally had some hooks in, and continues. "But if you want a fight to the death, you could be gone next week. Do you think Dewey could resist stardom? Huey resist knowledge? Do you Really think Louie is smart enough to handle a demon deal? Smart enough to pass it up? You are, but I'm not giving you a choice. And Webby, do you think she's ready to fight me? Something you don't have a weapon to kill? Money can buy lots of things, but not everything. Not quickly enough to stop me from burning down your mansion and Dancing on the ashes! Which I Decidedly Don't want to do. I want to hire you, I want a business plan. I don't even want your soul as part of the deal."

"There's no guarantee if there's no soul." The sword droops a bit as Scrooge scrutinizes the demon, trying to figure out a way to fight him, a way to contact Ms. Beakley, without putting the children in danger.

"A deal's a deal. I've broken 2 in my 300 plus years and only because I, and the world, would have ceased to exist if I didn't. I don't. Break. My deals. It's bad for business. Any moron knows that."

"Yes because demons are known for keeping their deals."

"I am. Just because people don't read the fine print isn't my fault. Now, will you take a look at the contract, or am I going for a night on the town ending at McDuck Mansion? The one you left woefully unguarded compared to your money? You want them safe after you're dead and gone?"

"Ah'll find an immortality elixir, or a way tah kill you, Ah always do." Says Scrooge confidently, arms crossed and a smirk on his beak.

"Before I kill them?" Scrooge scoffs at the demon's comment.

""Ye're here with me. As soon as ya leave I can have Beakley and Ducksworth alerted and prepped for your arrival in seconds."

"Fine, before I have them killed. Before I teleport over there and rend them limb from limb. Before I send a hellhound after them. Before I pour ducksauce on you, stuff you with your gold, and roast you over the flames of your bin leaving your family penniless and uncle-less!" Scrooge's steadfast glare and hand don't waiver at the threats, but inside he's slightly worried. Perhaps alert or invested are better words. This man's threats hold more punch than the Beagles' or Glombgold's. Only Magica seemed to hold a candle to the serious deadly intent this man held. Which was odd, Magica had centuries of hate, Scrooge had just met this man… And he didn't even know his name. The man in front has not finished his rant however, although he seems to have calmed, if he was ever angry in the first place. "I'd rather deal with you without violence first, in the interest of a long term, though not monogamous, relationship. But, I will enthusiastically tear at every aspect of your life and use your wishbone as a toothpick if you decide to cross me!" He finishes with a yell but it's more to make a point than to be angry. Scrooge takes a deep breath and lowers the sword. He'd have to be smart, this was a puzzle like any other, a deal, and problem to solve.

"Well, first, Ah'd like to know tha name of tha man Ah'm doin business with, so Ah know whose name to curse." The man smiles.

"Crowley. King of Hell, at your service." Scrooge scowls.

"Very well, Mr. King A Hell, let's have a look at this contract."