A/N: So like many others I'm stuck at home for the next few weeks. This idea has been bouncing around in my head for a while and I thought I might as well try to write it so that it would stop bothering me. We'll see how it all turns out and how much I manage to write before school starts up again.

Quick note, this is obviously an AU and I will be taking some liberties with it. For instance, I've only read the main series (i.e. no Early Years stuff or anything beyond book 12) so any details from anything outside of that won't be in this fic. Additionally, I have no idea what the setting of the Mountains of Rain and Night is like (main series wasn't very descriptive with that) so I'm just gonna make it whatever I feel like, especially for plot convenience. Also Morgarath has an ancient castle and some human supporters/servants/slaves here, cuz I highly doubt that he could've survived fifteen years in the mountains with no shelter and no help beyond the Wargals. Also magic definitely exists here and will play some role in the story. The canon hints at magic, so I'm just going to emphasize on that here and make it more obvious. This fic starts at around the later half of the first book, so some major events (mainly the boar hunt) simply won't have happened with the absence of Will.

Chapter 1: A Mission

Lord Lorriac felt his sword drop from his hands as he stood frozen, captured by the cruel, red eyes of the creatures in front of him. He thought he could see a glint of triumph in their monstrous faces, but the terror quickly taking over his mind swept that thought away. The world was melting away around him, until there was nothing on his mind but fear and horror for the beast.

His heart began to pound against his chest, faster and faster until it physically hurt. He didn't know what these things were, but he was terrified of them. His terror built and built until he felt his breath stop, his lungs as locked and petrified as his mind and body were. It was as if the only part of him that could move was his racing heart, which he hadn't even known could beat as fast as it was beating now.

He started getting dizzy. Was he going to die here? Like this? It seemed likely. He hadn't known that he could feel so scared of something, and his mind was in a state of near hysteria.

"Stop! Stop! No more!" A shaking, breathless voice penetrated the haze of fear smothering Lord Lorriac's mind. The Kalkaras turned to the source, releasing him from their gaze. He gasped for air as he found himself suddenly able to breathe again. The beasts turned back to him and growled. From his peripheral vision he could see one of them raising a giant paw to strike him down in response. He couldn't even bring himself to care anymore, however, having no energy to defend himself at the moment.

"I commanded you to stop!" The voice snapped, still shaking, though there was a definite steel in it. The beast froze. "You will obey me. I am in charge of this mission and what I say goes." The beast grunted angrily, looking back at someone with confusion and fury.

As the terror drained out of his mind and he slowly regained some of his senses, Lorriac lifted his head to look at his savior, whose voice had been surprisingly young. He felt his eyes widen at what he saw.

With his breaths coming in short gasps to the point of nearly hyperventilating, he saw a young man- no, a child- glaring at the beasts. He was trembling so badly that Lorriac wasn't sure how he was even still standing. Distantly, he thought he could see the glistening of tears at the corners of the boy's eyes, threatening to fall.

What the hell was going on? He wasn't even sure anymore. The kid couldn't be more than fifteen years old, and was grossly outmatched by the beasts, yet as he continued to shakily give out commands, the beasts shockingly listened to him and began to draw away from Lord Lorriac reluctantly. Throughout the entire process, the boy didn't even glance at him, seeming to be deliberately ignoring him.

"This mission is over." He heard the kid say as he turned to leave with the beasts in tow. "You'll get your pay. I'll take the fall if necessary." Even as dazed as he was, Lorriac could hear the dread and terror in the kid's voice, see the uncertainty in every shaking step. Before he could find the courage to speak up and ask any questions of the boy, however, he had already disappeared into the woods, having left as quickly as he came.

As the Mountains of Rain and Night loomed over the horizon, ominously dark with the setting sun behind it, Will felt his heart pounding harder against his chest and a faint sense of nausea rolling over him. After his spectacular failure during his mission with the Kalkaras, he was dreading his return home. Nothing had gone as planned. The beasts had only gotten to their second assassination before he'd blown their cover and ruined everything. How could he dare to return?

At the thought of his father's inevitable reaction to his failure, Will could already feel the familiar weight of shame and a painful twist in his chest. In a vain attempt to relax, he took a deep breath.

He was very aware of the fact that this hadn't just been a simple mission. It had been a test meant for him to prove himself worthy of the title he'd been gifted with. And he'd failed it.

How could he have let that happen? How could he still claim to be an heir to anything? His father was going to kill him for his incompetence.

At the moment, only the presence of the two monsters on either side of him was preventing him from turning around and finding a tall place he could jump off of. He hated the Kalkaras. Had hated them the moment his father had hired them, and abhorred them when he'd been forced to look into their cruel, red eyes himself. Now, they served as the guards dragging him back to what felt like a prison.

Why did I accept this mission? Will wonders miserably. He'd so desperately wanted an adventure, a chance to see the world beyond the dreary mountains that were his home, that he hadn't considered that it could end up like this.

After all the preparation and lessons his father had given him, he'd thought that he would be ready for the mission and all the bloodshed that would inevitably come with assassinations. It shouldn't have even been difficult. All he'd needed to do was watch the Kalkaras to confirm if they'd been successful in their killings, and perhaps lend a helping hand whenever it was necessary. But nothing could've prepared him for the brutality of those two monsters.

Blood dripping from dark claws. Terrified eyes, wide open in death. Torn human flesh and the sound of it being chewed and feasted upon. Cruel, red eyes.

Will tightened his grip on the reins of his horse as he started shaking at the resurfacing, unwanted memories he'd tried to bury just a few weeks ago. They burned in his mind, however, like a fresh wound that refused to close. He could feel a heavy tightness in his chest as his vision narrowed and his heartbeat pounded painfully against his ears.

Get it together. He thinks to himself. But his body didn't feel like listening, and he could still hear the sound of the Kalkaras gnawing on human flesh, wet and sickening. Just breathe. It's fine. All part of the mission. Why did I stop them? Why does it bother me so much? As if to mock him, the sound of teeth scraping on bones then joined the chorus of sounds in his mind.

When his breath began to come in gasps, he finally stopped his horse abruptly to throw himself to the ground, knowing that he couldn't continue on like this. The world seemed to be warping around him as he couldn't get the damn chewing sound out of his mind.

Alone in the middle of a grass plain, he had nothing to lean on, and instead curled up on the dirt ground. Clawing at his head and covering his ears, he sobbed into the earth.

"Make it stop. Please stop. I'm sorry." The chewing sound only continued to ring loudly in his ears, however, and he didn't even know why he bothered saying anything out loud. There was no one here to hear him anyway. No one besides the Kalkaras that is.

The two beasts had promptly stopped the moment he had, and were now watching him silently with those awful red eyes. Will sobbed harder into the ground, feeling well and truly alone as he continued to wonder why he was freaking out so much. There was nothing he could do about it, however, besides continuing to lie on the dirt ground as he waited for the memories to subside so that he could finally breathe again.

Halt had a pretty good idea why he'd been summoned to the Gathering Grounds by Crowley well before he arrived. With all the rumors that have been flying around recently, it was rather obvious what the meeting would be about. The Ranger sighed heavily.

He'd always known that this day was bound to eventually come. It would appear that Morgarath was finally prepared to return and try to take over the kingdom once more. Even Halt had to admit, however, that the most recent turn of events have been particularly strange.

It had all started approximately a week ago, when Lord Lorriac's report of surviving an attack from the mysterious monsters known as the Kalkaras had spread throughout the kingdom like wildfire. Immediately, most of the kingdom had unsurprisingly panicked.

Fiefs neighboring the site of the attack have begun to gather their men, bracing themselves for a confrontation against the beasts, while most of the common people have gone into hiding, cowering in their homes. Many have also been wondering if this was a sign of a war on the horizon. And yet amidst all this chaos, the details of Lord Lorriac's miraculous escape from the Kalkaras still managed to stand out as a source of great confusion.

According to Lorriac, he'd been out hunting when he'd been caught by the Kalkaras and their cruel, red glares, which should've been a flatout death sentence. However, just when he'd thought his heart was on the verge of stopping in sheer terror, he'd been apparently saved by a young man he described as appearing no more than fifteen years of age. The youth had reportedly been on the verge of tears and hyperventilating, but had somehow managed to command the beasts to stop their attack. Before Lorriac could fully recover and question him, however, the unidentified boy had then left with the Kalkaras as quickly as he'd appeared, leaving no traces behind, as even the local Ranger couldn't track them down.

Halt shook his head as he recalled the report. It didn't seem to make any sense, particularly anything relating to the young man, who Lorriac was claiming to be a mere teenager. If he hadn't read the report himself, he would've thought it was just a strange detail that had somehow gotten mixed in with the story as it was passed on by word of mouth. But it was in the report, and it made the whole fiasco feel like a puzzle that the Ranger couldn't quite solve.

To put it bluntly, Lorriac had no business being alive at the moment. Morgarath had obviously sent the Kalkaras to assassinate him, perhaps so that he couldn't cause anymore trouble for him whenever he decided to start an inevitable second war with Araluen. How and why would anyone save him, let alone a mere boy? And who exactly was he?

Halt doubted that a random teenager had figured out a way to order around the Kalkaras and conveniently come to Lorriac's aid, so an association with Morgarath seemed to be the most likely answer to this conundrum. However, while the Ranger certainly didn't think that Morgarath was above employing child soldiers, why would a follower of Morgarath prevent an assassination? Why would Morgarath send a boy with the Kalkaras on an assassination mission in the first place?

As he finally arrived at the Gathering Grounds, Halt continued to think over the situation. The thoughts dispelled, however, as he spotted Crowley sitting by a fire in the lightly forested meadow. Evidently, the Commandant had already set up camp.

"Halt! Good to see you." Crowley called to him with a grin as he saw him approaching. Halt could see the strain in his casual cheerfulness, however, and could tell that this was going to be a rather serious meeting.

"Crowley," Halt acknowledged grimly as he got off Abelard and moved to unpack himself.

As usual, they made lighthearted small talk as he worked. With the sun setting, they silently also agreed to prepare dinner and a nice pot of coffee first, before discussing any serious matters. Halt had a sinking feeling that they would be needing a full pot of coffee between the two of them tonight.

"So what's this all about?" The Ranger finally asked a couple hours later, having finished a pleasant meal, and now sipping a hot cup of coffee. "I assume you didn't order me to come all this way for a social call." Crowley raised an eyebrow.

"Getting right down to business are we? Well, I'm sure you've already guessed at the purpose of this meeting." He said dryly, taking a deep sip of coffee himself. He then reluctantly placed the cup down and turned to take out a file of papers from his bag. "Of course it's about the whole business with Lord Lorraic. I don't think there's a single soul in Araluen who hasn't heard about that mess yet." The Commandant said tiredly. Halt nodded meaningfully at that.

"The whole kingdom is in a state of hysteria. I do hope that you're not expecting me to somehow calm them all down. I know the saying is 'One Riot, One Ranger', but this is an entire kingdom we're dealing with. I think a couple more Rangers are warranted for that." Crowley shook his head.

"Don't you worry, Halt. It's nothing like that. Dealing with the public is more a job for the Diplomatic Corps. Beyond that, I would never dare to assign you to a mission dealing with the public anyway. You aren't exactly known to be the friendliest or most approachable Ranger around, if you get my meaning." Halt glared at Crowley, who only smiled back innocently before putting on a more serious face. "All joking aside, this is a serious matter. Lord Lorriac's report, which I'm sure you've looked over, is rather alarming, and has given us a lot of mysteries for us to untangle on top of that. Nothing is for certain right now, and we quite frankly have no idea what Morgarath has up his sleeve. Additionally, we also have a couple of Kalkaras wandering around the kingdom at the moment, planning to do who knows what, along with the mystery person traveling with them." Halt frowned.

"You want me to try and track them down then?" He asked skeptically. He was sure he could probably find the Kalkaras, but he wasn't nearly as certain that he would be able to take two of them down on his own. "As skilled as I may be, I might require a bit of reinforcement for that one as well." Crowley shook his head once more.

"Of course I'm not sending you after them on your own. That would be a suicide mission. No, actually, it may in fact not be necessary to track them down at all." Halt raised a questioning eyebrow at this. "Alright, let me just get to the point." Crowley sighed. "I've been keeping an eye out for those two monsters and the boy that's supposedly with them ever since I got the report. They've been illusive, but there's been vague, recent reports from the more remote areas of the kingdom that there's a strange group heading in the direction of the Mountains of Rain and Night. I'm willing to bet that's them."

"You think they're heading back to the Mountains of Rain and Night?" Halt asked doubtfully. That certainly didn't make any sense at all. Why would the Kalkaras just leave after letting one of their targets get away?

"I'm just as confused by it all as you are." Crowley said, seeing his friend's skepticism at the news. "And because of that, I think we're in desperate need of more information. We have so little on Morgarath, such as the state of his forces, what allies he has, what other monsters he's found and recruited in those blasted mountains, and what his general plans are. We don't even really know if he's planning for war, or if he's just testing the waters considering the botched assassination attempt. It's all very strange."

"You want me to gather more information then?" Halt tilted his head thoughtfully. Crowley was right. They definitely needed more information on Morgarath and the whole situation in general, though he couldn't quite imagine how he could get such information unless…

"Exactly. To be more specific, I need you to go to the Mountains of Rain and Night, infiltrate that ancient castle Morgarath has been hiding in, and gather as much information as you can safely get in a month's time. There's a good chance based on those reports I've just mentioned that the Kalkaras, and whoever was with them, will be there as well, so hopefully you'll be able to figure out what Morgarath's plan with them is while you're over there." Crowley handed a few of the papers from his file to Halt, who took them and began to quickly scan over them. "This is what little information we have on Morgarath at the moment. There's a copy of the castle's layout from decades ago in there as well. We also know he has a number of slaves, thugs, and some hired guards and servants all in the castle, in addition to the Wargals and his followers." Halt nodded, already formulating ideas on how he could get into the castle, and what kind of disguise would be best for this mission.

"With all that said, I know this is dangerous, and a lot to ask for you to do on your own." Crowley continued cautiously as he watched his friend read over the papers. "But I think we both know that we're in dire need of more information, and I can't think of anyone else who could pull this off better than you. Even so, if you think this is too much, you're free to decline, though I hope you seriously consider it."

"I'll do it." Halt said immediately. "I took a vow as a Ranger to do whatever I must for the good of the kingdom. I don't see how this mission should be an exception to that." Crowley frowned, even as he nodded in acceptance.

"Very well," The Commandant said slowly. "I just wanted to make sure you thought this whole thing through, and ensure that you think you could handle this mission before officially giving it to you. You know better than anyone how dangerous this particular mission will be. One slip up and you could end up dead, or worse captured by Morgarath. And you know he hates you in particular, perhaps more than anyone else. You're practically his ultimate nemesis."

"All the more reason to go then." Halt said sardonically. When Crowley didn't look anymore pleased by this response, the Ranger raised an eyebrow. "You were the one who offered me this mission. Surely you weren't expecting or hoping that I would decline it." Crowley sighed.

"Of course not. Let's iron out some of the details of the mission then, since you're so sure about it." He said, shaking his head in resignation.

As they discussed, Halt's ease at accepting the mission continued to bother Crowley, however. It occurred to him that like most Rangers, Halt led a lonely and isolated life. It came with the job, and was as big a part of it as the danger. Many Rangers even purposefully avoided having too many attachments and dependents, as they knew how easily they could die at any given moment.

Even so, Halt in particular had no family to speak of, with only Crowley being his closest friend and brother in all but name. There was also Gilan, and his relationship with Pauline wasn't lost on the Commandant, but ultimately it seemed that Halt was a particularly lonely Ranger.

Crowley knew that this was in large part due to his past, considering what little he knew of it. Still, this meant that while most Rangers still had families to go back to and consider, Halt didn't even have anything close to that. This allowed him to completely focus on his job as a Ranger, but Crowley couldn't help but feel a sense of pity for his friend.

He couldn't imagine life without his family, and as much as he understood that one could prefer to be alone most of time, he also knew that even the most introverted of people needed others in their lives. He sometimes worried that Halt's life was too empty, too serious and dark even for a Ranger. He wondered how long Halt could really go on like this.

Ultimately, there was little Crowley could do for Halt beyond being a good friend, but the Commandant still found himself hoping that one day, Halt would have something holding him back from accepting ridiculously dangerous missions like this so quickly.

Long, ominous shadows were cast against the wall by the light of the setting sun. Footsteps echoed loudly against the stone corridors of his home, as he walked through the castle with a couple of guards guiding him onwards. Will kept his face carefully blank as he went, desperately trying to quell the panic trying to take a hold of him.

It had taken him longer than it should've to get home. This was in large part due to his meltdown a few days ago delaying his travels, but it was also in part due to the fact that he'd simply been reluctant to do so. Now, he finds himself regretting his procrastination as he approaches his father's throne room. Even his guards seem tense at the inevitable confrontation waiting ahead of them.

As they finally arrived, and the heavy doors to the throne room opened, Will kept his eyes firmly lowered to the ground. After a lifetime of doing it, studying his feet with intense focus had become a nervous habit of his, and if there was ever a time he was nervous, now would be it.

The dead silence his arrival was greeted with didn't do anything to calm his nerves. He knew his father was there, could sense him like a storm cloud looking down at him. Will bit his lip. Just as expected, his father was livid.

"My lord, the heir has returned." One of the castle guards announced. As if against his will, his feet then promptly walked forward until Will was close, but still a respectful distance away from the black throne his father was sitting upon. He quickly knelt down before him.

"Welcome home, Will." His father's icy greeting practically froze the very air in the room. Will felt a wave of shame and fear so strong that it made him nauseous.

"Hello father." He said in a small voice.

"I must say, I'm surprise. I hadn't expected to see you return quite so soon. Did the Kalkaras work faster than anticipated? It sure is impressive that they managed to take out all ten of their targets in the span of less than a month." Only the lessons that have been drilled into him throughout his life kept Will from trembling too noticeably.

No heir of mine is permitted to show any fear.

"They didn't." He managed to admit quietly. "They only took out one of the targets before the mission had to be terminated."

"Oh? Care to elaborate on why?" His father evidently already knew exactly what had happened, but Will still struggled to admit it, fearing that voicing his failure would result in a harsher punishment. Deep down, however, he knew that it wouldn't make a difference.

"In a moment of weakness, I accidentally exposed the presence of the Kalkaras, and allowed one of the targets to get away." He eventually managed to get out quietly. "We were revealed to the entire kingdom after that, so we had to end the mission early. I apologize, my lord. It was completely my fault, and I'm willing to take full responsibility for it."

"You certainly will." His father said, sounding almost bored. "But do tell me, my dear son, why did you allow such a horrible failure to occur in the first place? I thought I taught you better than that." Will honestly didn't know how to answer that question, as he'd been thinking it himself for the past few days now. What had possessed him to spare Lord Lorriac's life and end the mission?

The stench of blood has practically sunken and imbedded itself into his nostrils. The Kalkaras' chewing is loud, made all the more horrific by the sight of a fresh corpse being violently torn apart. "Stop. Please stop…" He hears himself whisper, his voice and muffled sobbing mingling with the sounds of ripping, human flesh.

Will squeezes his eyes shut.

"I'm not sure, Father." He says quietly. "As I said, it was a moment of weakness." He'd intended to say that he regretted it, but the words wouldn't come out of his mouth.

Tell no lies, especially to me.

His father looked at him sadly. "I'm disappointed, Will. After all that I've given you, I thought that you were ready. Against my better judgment, I had trusted you with this mission. How do you expect to complete your duties as my heir like this? What use are you to anybody let alone our subjects? How do you expect anybody to ever trust you if you can't even complete the simplest of tasks?" Each question stung as much as a physical blow, and something inside him wanted to shrivel up in shame.

"I don't know, Father." Even in the silent throne room, Will's voice could barely be heard. There was a heavy pause as his father studied him for a while.

"I expect only the best from you, Will. And as you are right now, I really worry about you and the future." His father sighed. "Because of this, and in light of your failure to complete the mission, I have no choice but to increase your training. Perhaps some more tutoring from Lieutenant Foldar will help set you on the right path." Will's head snapped up at the verdict, and he stared up at his father in horror.

"With Foldar?" He asked in a small voice. "No, please Father. That won't be necessary. I promise I can be better. I'll practice and train as hard as I must to get better, just please don't-"

"Silence!" His father snapped before he could continue on. "What pathetic behavior is this? Are you seriously begging me like a common street dweller? Lieutenant Foldar is one of the best teachers you have at your disposal, and I know I've taught you to treat your elders with more respect. I'm now certain that you need some time with him to learn more discipline."

Will couldn't hold back from trembling as he looked into his father's dark eyes. He knew in that moment that there was no escaping this. His father looked down at him with pitiful disappointment, slowly shaking his head.

"And to think I was going to spare you from any further punishment. Given your conduct today, I'm afraid I'll also have to confine you to your rooms for the next few days whenever you aren't training. I don't know what's gotten into you, though it appears that the stresses of the outside world has caused you to lose your discipline, corrupting you to be no better than a filthy, Araluen whelp." Will hung his head, and didn't bother arguing any further. "I did warn you that this could happen before you went on this mission, my son. Perhaps now you'll listen to me more. Regardless of that, your punishment will begin immediately. Now leave before you disgrace us all anymore with your behavior."

"Yes, Father. I apologize once more for my failures." Will said, more out of habit than anything else. The words tasted like dust on his tongue.

Two guards promptly came forward, and he stood to follow them outside of the throne room. The doors slammed behind them loudly, the sound echoing around the stone walls surrounding them. Will almost flinched, as the silence of his father made that sound as loud and intimidating as any shout. With a harsh tug at his arms, the guards beckoned him in the direction of his room. Humiliation burned in Will's cheeks as they walked. He couldn't bring himself to directly look at the people he'd failed so badly.

Night was nearly upon them now, and the torches were lit throughout the halls, sparked to life by magic. Will and the guards traversed across the castle until they reached the entrance to the tallest tower, and began to climb up its winding stairs.

As he stumbled closer and closer to the top of the tower where his room was, a wave of dizziness gripped his head as nausea and shock broiled within his mind.

He's messed up and disappointed his father before. In fact he's done it a lot. In all those other times, however, all his father had ever done was give him the occasional, well-earned beating, a bit of extra work, and/or a couple of days with no food. Rarely had it ever gotten worse, and even in those occasions when he really messed up, training with Foldar had never been used as a punishment.

Everything I do is for your own good, Will.

He figured that his father probably didn't see training with Foldar as a punishment. Foldar was a good teacher after all. But still, the lieutenant had been one of Will's greatest fears up until recently, though he could never admit to that.

Why are you such an ungrateful brat? A voice in his mind hisses. Get a hold of yourself. If you can show Father that you've regained your discipline and worthiness quickly, things will all go back to normal. You can probably even pretend that the mission with the Kalkaras had never happened. Going to the outside world was a mistake anyway.

As he arrived at his room, Will was shown inside before his own doors closed behind him. He heard a click as he was locked in from the outside. Then, he suddenly felt everything drain from him. The tension in his body, his shame, his fear for what was to come, and all the rest of the chaos in his mind all melted away.

He felt like death as he stumbled to his bed and face planted onto it. There would be time for him to process everything that had recently happened later. For the moment, all he wanted to do was stare up at the ceiling and try to relax and forget everything.

Silence pressed down on him from every direction, however, as he laid there until nightfall. In that time, he took in his circular room with its five glass-covered windows spread equally around the walls, letting in the moonlight as it rose. He thought he should probably pull the curtains over the windows soon and get some sleep, but he was strangely too uncomfortable at the moment to do so.

Giving up on relaxing, Will eventually got up and walked over to one of the tall windows. He perched on the window sill and looked out into the gray woods of the rocky mountains outside. Tiredly, he leaned against the window, his cheeks pressed against cool glass. Years of doing this gave him certainty that the glass would hold. The view might've been somewhat beautiful if he hadn't been staring at it for most of his life.

Will sighed, feeling a heavy weight hanging over him somehow. He was back home, back to the one place he'd always found comfort in, and yet he felt no joy nor comfort now. What's wrong with me?

Even when the beatings had hurt too badly, or his heart had ached a bit too much, he'd always felt safe here. What had changed? All he could feel at the moment was the cold stone he was sitting on and surrounded by. All he could see were the plain gray walls, the bare room, and the dull, lifeless view outside of miles of forbidding mountains. All he could hear was a silence that sounded louder than it had ever been before.

His breathing quickened. Somewhere in his mind, he knew exactly why he was feeling this way. But he didn't want to think about it, wanted to pretend it had never happened, wished that he'd never seen it. It was imprinted in his mind, however, and the memories came without invitation.

Just a single night at an "inn" as it was called, and his own room was ruined for him now.

He could still feel the wooden boards and soft carpet beneath his bare feet, smell the scent of food cooking in the kitchen below him, hear the sounds of laughter and music from the patrons and musicians of the inn, and see the cozy room he'd been given. In his mind's eye, he remembered the sight of flowers by a window looking over a cheerful, crowded street. He could still imagine the colorful blankets spread on a small bed, and the care, love, and detail that had been poured into the decoration and setup of the room.

Will had of course heard of inns before, mainly in the stories he liked to read, but had never gone to one himself until his mission with the Kalkaras made it a necessity. It had gone beyond his wildest expectations, and had opened his eyes significantly to what he'd been missing out on all his life. This lesson was only further driven home now as he found himself in his own room, which was an isolated, plain, and cold prison in comparison to the inn.

Why didn't he have any of that warmth here in his own home? Why was he always surrounded by silence, his only comfort being that of being alone in this bare, lifeless room? Why did the children playing out in the streets of an Araluen village receive more affection from their parents than he did?

Because I don't deserve it. I haven't earned it. I've failed, failed, and failed again. How could I dare consider myself worthy of any of that? All I've been is a burden here. All I do is take and take. What good am I? I should feel lucky that Father still even bothers with me. Such things would be a waste on me. Burden. Failure. Waste of space. Useless, useless, useless...

But still he wanted it. More than anything, he wanted a life of warmth. Maybe his father hadn't wanted to give him any further punishment earlier because he'd already been punished by the mission itself. He'd been punished with the knowledge of what he's been missing out on all his life, and he knew that he was a long way from deserving any of it.

He vaguely wanted to cry, but no tears would come. There's nothing you have any right to cry over. Stop being a baby, Will.

The night crawled by slowly as Will continued to lean against the window, letting the cold numb his cheeks and seep into his body, hoping that it would stick and be a balm for the painful memories of what he could never deserve. Eventually, he fell asleep in the arms of the silent, cold night.

A/N: Well wasn't that a blast? I actually had a lot of fun writing this, though it did end up longer than I thought it would be. I hope parts of this didn't come off as melodramatic or cheesy, though I am a total sap so who knows? Any feedback would be greatly appreciated, as well as any questions, so feel free to leave a review! They're very motivating for me to write another chapter ;) I actually plan to use this fic to help me practice and improve my rusty writing skills, so I would actually love any and all criticism.

Quick note, in case it wasn't obvious, the scenes in this chapter aren't all happening at the exact same time. Like the last scene with Will getting back to Morgarath takes place at least a few days after Halt's meeting with Crowley, while the first scene of Will's breakdown takes place around the same time as Halt's meeting with Crowley. I'm not sure if that was confusing or not. The next chapter should be out maybe sometime this week, at least by next week, depending on how quickly I get my online school work done so that I could actually have time to write it. Stay healthy people and I hope to see you all in the next chapter!