Hold Fast

Epilogue: Beginning

The universe split apart.

The white wave dragged him under, took his breath, drowning him in the black. He sank further and further into the deep, into the darkness of space, into the sinkhole, while searing agony cleaved him in half, ripped and clawed at him, burned and choked.

And yet he held on, only one fully formed thought emerging from the stabbing ache: Anakin.

He had to hold on to Anakin. Even though it hurt beyond any pain he had ever endured, Obi-Wan latched on to their bond, the terrible tearing of it reverberating and multiplying and surging on and on.

In the black, there were bright lights, miniature explosions, flashing before his sight and then fading, going out. He was drowning – they were drowning.

The Force was shaking with a seismic scream, with Anakin's scream, and Obi-Wan knew, in the midst of sinking ever deeper, that they were being torn apart. They would not make it.

Anakin let go let go –

They had to find the surface, they had to find air, they had to let go.

Panic taking over what pain had not yet claimed, Obi-Wan begged and pleaded and prayed,

Anakin let go

stop

wait, don't open –

-o-

Obi-Wan woke up on a hard floor, a steady, thrumming ache burning through his bones and sinew, pricking the flesh. His lungs were bursting from a desperate need for air, the inside of his mouth bitter and metallic, a sheen of dark over his eyes. Heart rapidly slamming against his chest, it took a long moment for his tangled, ruptured thoughts to stich themselves together, for his panicked body to settle down.

Finally, Obi-Wan realized what had happened, remembered the way the holocron had ravaged them, Anakin stubbornly clinging on, trying to steer the jump –

He heaved himself upwards, leaning onto the floor with his shaking elbows, forcing the nausea down. He opened his mouth to speak, to call out, but no sound emerged. Head throbbing fiercely, Obi-Wan took a long look at his surroundings, recognition lagging behind.

Anakin too lay on the floor, limbs askew, a heap of robes next to him. One of his legs was twitching, and a low, pained moan sounded from behind a curtain of tangled hair. Around them, the ceiling's clinically cold light revealed gunmetal grey walls, a neatly made bunk and a small desk. They were in a ship's cabin – Obi-Wan's cabin on board the Vigilance.

And the holocron sat between them, lifeless. It hardly resembled a cube anymore; mangled and twisted, its sides were torn and shattered. With numb comprehension, Obi-Wan understood it was broken beyond repair. There would be no more jumps, no more travelling through time. This was their one last chance.

"Ugh…Force –" Anakin groaned, struggling to get up and ending up on his hands and knees. "Ouch, kriffing karking hell, shab I'm going to vomit –" He heaved and gagged painfully, drawing in sharp breaths in between, spitting a small trickle of bile. "I'm never…touching…that…thing…again."

Obi-Wan pushed himself onto his knees, finally managing to croak, "Anakin."

"I know, ugh…I know…" Sweat soaked hair clinging to his forehead, Anakin grimaced, sounding contrite. "A massively bad idea. I shouldn't have tried to open it."

Something about the words made Obi-Wan's heart twinge with apprehension; he fought to clear his mind, the pounding headache a major hindrance. A rush of haste urged him to gather his wits together, the knowledge what they still had to accomplish pressing upon him with the tremendous weight of all he had witnessed. He knew the place, but what was the time? How far back had they travelled?

"We have to find out the time…" Obi-Wan mumbled, trying to assess whether he would topple or not, if he attempted to stand.

"The time? What are you on about?" Anakin frowned, blue eyes roaming over Obi-Wan. "Are you alright? I didn't break you with the holocron, did I?"

Good thing Obi-Wan had decided against standing; Anakin's flippant words would have driven him back to his knees. Fear tightening his throat, he struggled for words.

"Obi-Wan?" Anakin's voice lowered as he grew more concerned, clearly wondering at Obi-Wan's behaviour. He fiddled with his wrist comm. "I'm calling a medic."

"No, don't!" Obi-Wan forced himself to breathe calmly, clenching his shaking hands into fists. "Anakin – tell me, what do you remember?"

"Remember? Master –"

"Just – Anakin, please, just tell me what happened."

For a moment, Anakin looked like he would contact the medbay regardless of Obi-Wan's urgent request, but then he sighed and grudgingly acquiesced. "Well, obviously I broke the holocron. I didn't think, I wanted to see what was inside. There was…I think there was a bright, white light and then – it must have exploded or something. Don't you remember?"

"I do remember." The sudden despair was a visceral ache that agitated Obi-Wan's stomach, raising a new wave of nausea. He knew what time they were in.

"I think this might have been a trap after all – I told you so. The so-called secret operative must have tried to kill us."

"But we are unharmed." And they were. Their insides had no doubt been rearranged and twisted into several knots, but outwardly, there were no signs of violence. Anakin's face and neck bore no marks of Vader's hate, and Obi-Wan predicted his own visage was similarly unaffected. It was as if all they had been through, none of it, had never even happened.

But it did happen – I remember! I remember. Why doesn't he?

A heart-wrenching thought struck him then, so horrible it had the power to unmake him. What if this Anakin wasn't Obi-Wan's Anakin? What if the time-travel had torn Anakin apart, and had somehow flung Obi-Wan into the past without him? Had Obi-Wan inadvertently let go of him?

"Obi-Wan?"

Desperate, Obi-Wan reached for their bond, seeking Anakin through the ever-enduring connection between them. The silvery strands were whole, but somehow muted, the all-encompassing glow duller. Anakins's shields were firmly in place, only a faint echo of his confusion and concern trickling through. Looking at his Padawan's face, feeling him in the Force, Obi-Wan found no hint of recognition; there was no shadow of the dark fall, no sign of the remorseful heart. There was no memory of what had happened to them, no comprehension of what they truly were to each other.

"Master? I'm calling the medbay."

Obi-Wan was alone.

IMPORTANT NOTICE: The tale will continue in the next story of the series. However, it will not be posted on this site, only on AO3. I will keep my old stories here, but I will not post anything new here anymore. Thank you all for reading, I hope you'll continue to read the series and my other stories on AO3 :) I publish my stories there with the same pen name "Ripki".