Mystery of the Key Part 1

One sunrise at a dense jungle on the island of Congo Bongo, two crocodiles fished at a lake.

"Man I hate this job! K. Rool always stuffs his fat pie hole with everything we catch and we're left with the bones!" Said the green one.

"Could be worse, could be McDonald's with the qualifications we got!" Said a light blue one.

"Hey I got a bite! Shouted the green one as he started furiously tugging on his rod." The blue one chucked his rod away and wrapped his arms around his cohort, pulling him back in support. Eventually a shiny object was plucked from the water and the two Kritters fell on their backs.

"You didn't have to pull me back you know!" The green Kritter snapped to the other.

"I just wanted to smell your strawberry-like cologne." Whispered the blue one.

"What?!"

"Nothing! Hey what was that we got?"

The two Kritter observe the catch, a little metal object twinkled in the sunlight.

"I dunno..." The green Kritter picks up what looks like a key attached to an oval tag.

"Can I see it?"

"Finder's keepers!"

"I'll rashambo for it!"

The blue Kritter gave short notice warning before kicking his cohort upside the balls. "Splash!" the green guy fell backwards into the lake and the key fell to the floor. "My precious!" The blue one scooped it up instantly from the ground.

"Glub! Get me up!" The green Kritter frantically splashed up to the surface. "Okay" The blue one obliges, as he reached out to help his drowning cohort a shark popped out to the surface and dragged the green Kritter to the depths.

"Oh shit are you OK?!" The blue Kritter looks worryingly at the seeming empty space in the water which soon turned red and a scaly green arm surfaced little time after. "Oh well, can't say I didn't give him a hand. Now I guess I gotta show this to K. Rool..."

After two days since leaving Bowser's Castle Sonic was basking in the beach back at Möbius, listening to Shaggy's cover of "In the Summertime".

"Finally some peace!" Sonic sighs as he rests on a Power Rangers beach towel by the radio. "I'm so glad nobody comes here anymore. Ooh, I like this song! In the summer ti..."

"Sonic!" A voice shouted from not afar. Soon enough the source hovers between the sunlight and Sonic. It was Mighty, friend of Knuckles and a member of the Chaotix Investigation Bureau.

"Dammit! Grr, what was that?" Sonic begun to lose his cool. "Do you mind... You're in the way of the light, shoo!"

"Sorry! But this is bad! Really bad shit man!" Mighty blurted, he was practically spitting all over Sonic's face! "Have you seen Knuckles?"

"Of course not, do I look like I'm married to the guy?" Said Sonic wiping the saliva off. Mighty started spinning himself around in a fit of panic "Oh man! Oh god! Ohmanohgodohmanohgodohmanohgod..."

"Mighty! Pull yourself together!" Sonic yelled and looking ready to give Mighty a bitch slap he wouldn't soon forget.

"Knuckles always shares a bong and some hos with the Chaotix crew after the gigs, now that he's missing who's gonna stop Robotnik from just taking the Master Emerald away?" Mighty tries to explain the bad news to the hedgehog but he still remained not alarmed in the least. "I thought you seen em since you were also gone for couple of days."

"I didn't see shit! Look, you and your chaotic pals are detectives, why don't you go out and actually detect!? For the last fucking time you're blocking my rays!"

"Fine thanks for your help!" Mighty flipped Sonic the bird right in his face before going his merry way.

Meanwhile back in Brooklyn it was business as usual for Mario and Luigi despite their workshop looking like a bomb hit it.

"Shithole sweet shithole!" Mario says clapping his hands. "Let's get back to work, those angry costumer complaints won't listen to themselves..."

"Oh I don't wanna be here..." moaned Luigi.

"You need steel balls in this business so grow a pair and get cracking!" Said Mario before picking up the fragments of a shattered urinal. "So what do you think? Fucked?"

"Um, I guess..." Luigi sighed.

"Okay, well how about this bathroom sink?" Mario presents a bathroom that seems to relatively untouched.

"Well, it looks okay..." Luigi mumbled before a crack down the middle of the sink turned visible then half of the sink fell on the floor and shattered. "Okay, it's fucked..."

Mario sinks to the floor with his head in his hands and started sulking. "Why didn't we take out insurance? We were up shit creek without a paddle as it is now we're as broke as our legs are gonna be."

"What!?"

"Nothing, nothing."

The phone buried in spaghetti as usual began to ring. Mario and Luigi consider their actions.

"Should we answer?" Asked Luigi.

"Might as well." Mario replied. "I'll talk our way out of this."

And with that he picks up the phone "Hello Mario Bros. Plumbing! We clog 'em we clear 'em!"

"Where the hell were you guys?" Shouted a disgruntled customer on the other end. "You were closed for some time, I need that bathroom sink back!"

"Sorry we had to close up shop for while! But rest assured we got your sink up and running!"

"But that's the one that split!" Luigi objected but Mario replies by shushing and waving his hand.

"Be sure to stop on by and pick it up." Mario carried on with his charade.

"Okay see ya." Said the customer, Mario hangs up.

"What are we gonna do now? You just lied to a customer!" Said Luigi with very visible disgust on his face.

"We're in the red Luigi! How are we gonna tell the paying customers how it is?" Mario making excuses. "Besides this will be vital work experience! Now hand over the adhesive!"

Luigi rummages inside a tool box, only finding very slim rolled up tubes. He hands them over to Mario.

Mario gripped onto the tubes with all his power but only air came out from the nozzle"You gotta be shitting me! Well, we'll just have to improvise... Luigi I want you to chew up a box of chewing gum! Then I'll use the wad to stick the fragments together!"

"I don't know if this'll work, but I guess I gotta try" Luigi picks up a box of Big League Chew, empties it into his mouth and begins to chew. "What ish it gesh stush in my mustaff?"

"Don't talk with your mouthful!" Mario ordered.

Back to Sonic sunning his ass at angel island, making the most out of the solitude from the annoying cast he must regularly chill round.

"Maybe I should give a shit about Knuckles..." Sonic thought. "I mean he does have to guard the Master Emerald which could bring the end of everything if it got in the wrong hands."

"Sonic you're back." Cried a female voice in the distance. Sonic immediately felt the dread in his heart. He turns his head to the source and saw a pink hedgehog in a green shirt. "Amy! There goes my vacation..."

"Sonic where were you?" Scolded Amy. "You were missing for a couple of days. I was starting to think you were dead!"

"Amy... how did you know I was here?" Sonic asked angrily. "It was Mighty, wasn't it?"

"I never reveal my sources, hee hee..." Amy playfully replied.

"I knew it! Fuck you Mighty, if I find Knuckles first I'll borrow his spiked gloves and ram my fists way up your ass!" thought Sonic.

"You know, you look lonely on that beach towel..."

"Hah no way, I was actually looking for Knuckles for your information. It's really important that we know where he is you know!"

"Oh yeah and how come!?"

"That's because er..." Sonic stumbled on his words with a hand on the back of his head. "This is Knuckles we're talking about. We can't think about bathing on a day like this, Robotnik could have swiped the master Emerald by now."

And with that Sonic vanishes in a cloud of sand leaving only a coughing Amy behind.

Later that day Mighty returns to the headquarters of the Team Chaotix Detective Bureau to deliver the news that he got nothing...

"So Mighty what did you turn up?" Asked Vector the big crocodile sitting at his desk with a pyramid of beer cans stacked high.

"Other than that I saw Sonic and that he's a cunt as usual, I'm empty!" Said Mighty shrugging his shoulders.

"Well at least we know Sonic's around but I stress we need to find Knuckles and soon, the water skiing competition is on this weekend!"

A couple more characters walk through the door, one a purple chameleon and a coked up bee.

"Hey hey hey! Guys! Guess what? Guess what? Guess what? Guuueeessssss whaaat?" Charmy screams very quickly overly excited.

"Silence you!" Espio raises a fly swatter, Charmy shuts the hell up and whizzed to the corner whimpering like a ho. "What Charmy wants to tell you is that we got a lead, we checked in with CSI Metropolis Zone and they concluded that the tyre tracks found leaving the Pac Sun gig match that belongs to our MIA pal!"

"Hmm... Sounds like a long shot, Espio!" Vector rubs his chin looking at the ceiling. "But I suppose a long shot is better that no shot! C'mon guys every second Knuckles is gone, that Master Emerald is ripe for the picking so it's up to us to make sure he's safe!"

With that Vector charges out the door as the time is of the essence, his subordinates follow post haste.

"Oh yeah we're gonna find Knuckles let's go go go!"

"Charmy what did I say about not being silence?" Espio readies the swatter, Charmy mercifully pipes down again.

Back at Congo Bongo a large ship sat at a beach, the blue Kritter from before board the ship with a satisfied smirk. "Maggot, what business do you have with K. Rool if you don't have much to show for it?"

"Alright so the fishing came up empty, but I have something that may interest the king instead!"

"Didn't you have a partner with you?"

"Err... He turned traitor, yeah and he uh, plotted to kill the king. But I fed him to the sharks."

"I question your credibility but I guess if this is worth his time then you'll be alright." Klump enters the cabin of King K. Rool for a brief moment and pops out the door. "You may enter but it better be worth his precious time!"

After getting the go ahead the Kritter enters the cabin. Inside sat K. Rool a pot bellied green crocodile next to his blue bodyguard Krusha pumping serious iron. "You should be out fishing not showing me things, this better be important!" K. Rool Boomed at the Kritter. "If it isn't I'll make you wish you were scrubbing up the poop deck!"

"If you will, endure your wrath sire." The Kritter trembled uncontrollably, we extends his arm to the king with a key in his grip. "Feast your eyes upon this!"

"A key?" Asked the king with mild interest. "What's it open? Treasure chests?"

"A key huh? I thought it was a pretty earring." Said the Kritter even more confused than the king.

"You mean you didn't even know it was a key let alone what's it open? Krusha escort this worm to the shackles!"

Krusha throws his large ass weight apparatus as if it was light as a feather. "Duhh... You're gonna have a fun S&M session tonight! Durr hurr hurr!" He mumbles with a creepy grin approaching the Kritter.

The Kritter reaches his arms around his back and extends the other to Krusha! "I was kidding, I know what it opens really! It's for..." He pulls a cutlass from back and zips pasts Krusha, lunging for K. Rool. "Death to the tyrant!"

A loud bang was heard and the Kritter although charging at full force flew a bit backward before falling on his back. A hole was now burned all the way though the chest. Klump ran into the cabin concerned. "K. Rool I heard a bang what happened?"

K. Rool remained seated after the attempt on his life with a smoking blunderbuss in hand. "Why is everyone around me retarded? No not you Krusha! Not you too Klump!" "I guess we since the fishermen are ahem properly disposed of we will have to be have to go easy on the food supply for a while."

"Yeh, Klump could do with some cuttin' down. Hurr hurr!" Krusha chuckles quietly.

Klump was offended by the joke. "Hey, I don't crack jokes about your steroid habit. Good luck on the ding-dong measuring contests, buddy!" Went Klump's comeback. Krusha reacts by scratching his head because he's too dumb too get it.

"Enough of this lunacy or you're both demoted!" Ordered K. Rool finally picking himself from his seat. He spies the key next to the body of the dead Kritter. He scoops it off the floor and examines the tag. "Key to Master Emerald room if lost Knuckles on... Krusha, get me the phone! This might be interesting after all!"

Meanwhile back at Möbius Team Chaotix locates a mysterious green pipe that leads to somewhere only god knows.

"So this green pipe is where the tyre tracks lead to? This thing wasn't here earlier..." Vector Deducts.

"Why would Knuckles drive inside this thing?" Said a puzzled Espio.

"I don't know, but I'm coming in!" Yells Mighty stepping up to the plate.

Vector jumps in the way. "No, Mighty we don't know where this pipe leads!" He shouted.

"Fuck that shit, Knuckles might need our help right now!" Mighty replied slipping past Vector and jumping into the green cylinder which seemingly sucked him in as he threw himself.

"That utter fool!" Espio grunted. "He should've sent Charmy in first... That what he's for!"

"Yeah, he took my job!" Charmy said getting a bit annoyed.

"Well Mighty's gone in so we gotta go in after!" Vector snapped. "If we're lucky we should find Knuckles too, let's just pray that the Master Emerald chamber key is still on him."

And so the famed tecs take the plunge into bounds unknown.