32. But Violence Can Solve Everything

When Bann Teagan pushed his way into the Chantry, he headed straight for Luka. His expression was bordering on frantic as he rushed over, and Luka prepared himself for the incoming bad news.

"Warden-Commander," he said breathlessly as he halted in front of Luka.

Luka blinked at the title, somewhat confused, but only waited silently.

"There is something of a standoff in Redcliffe Castle," Teagan said.

"What did Ra—Bree do?" Luka asked instantly, and Teagan looked startled.

"How did you…" He shook his head. "It is generally good news," he said, much to Luka's relief. "The demon is currently contained, and we are awaiting the Senior Enchanter's return from the Circle to separate the demon from Connor."

"But…?"

"The Lady Warden's method of containing Connor seems to be causing harm to the boy and the demon," Teagan explained. "Isolde is frantic, and the others are barely managing to keep her from ordering her knights to kill the Lady Warden."

Luka sighed heavily and rubbed his forehead. "Right, of course that's happening," he muttered. He looked intently at Teagan, who was waiting anxiously for Luka's response. "Who's in the right?" Luka asked abruptly, and Teagan recoiled slightly.

"I can't—"

"You were there. I wasn't," Luka interrupted him with a sharp wave of his hand. "Who do you think is in the right?"

"I…" Teagan sighed. "I hate to speak a word against the Arlessa, but the Lady Warden is protecting everyone in the castle without killing poor Connor. I can see no better solution currently, but I have sworn an oath to support the Arl and his family in any context."

Luka put his hands on his hips. "If you touch a hair on the 'Lady Warden's' head, I'll gut you," he stated solemnly. "I'll do the same if you hurt any of my other people. Either be on our side or be quiet, got it?"

Teagan's face turned pale, and he nodded before scooting away from Luka. "I shall… remain here, then," he mumbled.

"Good choice," Luka stated. He looked around and easily spotted his target. "Morrigan," he called out as he approached her. She looked up from her book and watched Luka expectantly. "Rabbit's gotten herself in trouble as usual," he said, and Morrigan closed her book with a heavy sigh. She drew herself to her feet gracefully.

"And I am supposed to aid how?" Morrigan drawled.

Luka shrugged. "It sounds like she's doing some difficult magic right now, and I thought she might accept your help if you wanted to offer it."

"Why would I wish to do so?" Morrigan instantly replied with a glower.

Luka nodded once and turned around. "Your choice. I'll be in the castle to make sure no one dies." He walked through the Chantry and drew one of his knives, flipping it in his hand aimlessly as he wondered why nothing could be simple. He heard Morrigan's soft footsteps following behind him, and he snuck a smile.

"I assume she has done something to infuriate that insufferable noblewoman?" Morrigan said casually.

"Probably," Luka said, barely managing to hide his amusement at Morrigan's failed attempt at disinterest. "It seems like she's managed to capture the demon, at least."

"Ah, and she did it in a manner that offended everyone, I suppose," Morrigan scoffed.

"Mmhm," Luka replied. "And Wynne's still at least a day out from returning."

"And her excursion may not even bear fruit," Morrigan said with a mirthless laugh. "Why everyone is going through such effort to save a single abomination is an utter mystery to me."

Luka wondered if he would have thought the same six months ago. A noble's kid turned abomination? Connor would have deserved to die. After all, any elf who touched magic would have been instantly executed—why should a human, a noble no less, be exempt? And any abomination, a terrifying rogue mage, should have been instantly executed no matter its race. Those would have been his conclusions. Now, he just saw a scared kid with a misguided mother. He wouldn't risk his people's safety to keep either of them alive, but nor did he think they deserved death.

Luka didn't answer Morrigan, and she walked behind him in silence for the rest of the journey to the castle. The drawbridge of the castle was still raised, so he and Morrigan had to trek through the dungeons and down the eerily silent halls to get to the front room.

In the spirit of politeness, Luka knocked on the door before pulling it open and stepping through, still flipping his knife in his hand. "Hello," he said softly when everyone in the room turned to him.

"Luka, thank the Maker," Alistair sighed amidst the clanking of metal as a good half dozen knights turned their weapons to him.

The only person who hadn't reacted was Rabbit, who was sitting cross-legged with both hands raised, her elbows resting on her knees for support. Kitty was laying at her side, a bloodstained bandage wrapped around his flank. Rabbit was staring unblinkingly at a boy caught in that spirit cage of hers, except this one had flickers of electricity crackling across the bars. Any sparks that hit the boy made him gasp in pain and slump as though exhausted.

Luka eyed the knights dispassionately and pushed straight through the group to get to the throne. Morrigan likewise ignored them all but headed to inspect the caged demon. The Arlessa was sitting on the throne and watching Luka nervously as he approached, but neither she nor the knights tried to stop him.

"Stand down," Luka ordered coldly at the foot of the throne. "This has become a Gray Warden matter. That supersedes your authority."

"This has nothing to do with the blight!" Isolde yelled back. Her eyes were bloodshot, her expression harried, and she frantically looked between all her perceived enemies. "This is a matter for the Arl of Redcliffe! As both he and his son are indisposed, I am in charge."

"This became a Gray Warden matter the second you led my people into a trap," Luka stated in a dark growl, and Isolde flinched back, shivering at the intensity of his repressed fury.

"But my son…"

"We are trying to help your son," Luka snapped. He ascended the stairs until he was right in front of her, and she shrank back in her seat. "If you try to harm my people, we will stop trying to help your son. We will leave you to your own devices and protect ourselves if you try to attack." He leaned in closer. "Stand. Down. Now."

"…Do as he says," Isolde said in a soft, choked voice to her soldiers. They put down their weapons instantly, and Luka noticed most of them looked relieved. He leaned away again and crossed his arms.

"You're not in charge here," he informed her. "As far as I can tell, you've done nothing but drag my people into a trap and threaten them afterwards. I take the safety of my people seriously. This is your final warning."

Luka snapped his fingers at her and pointed away, remaining in that position until Isolde slowly stood and skittered away from the throne to sulk in a corner. The knights wandered to the walls as well, sitting down tiredly, some of them removing their armor and leaning back with their eyes closed. Soon enough, most of the Arlessa's knights were asleep, and the Arlessa simply stared miserably at her trapped son. Leliana slipped to her side and began murmuring softly to her.

"I thought this would be going on until Wynne returned," Alistair said as he approached. Deep relief was on his face, and he gestured to Rabbit. "I can't say I like this magic much, but…" He looked at the boy. "It was honestly necessary."

Luka nodded and flopped down into the throne. He noticed offhand that there were some scattered gasps when he did so, but he only surveyed the room in silence. He noticed the bloodstained Kitty again and hopped off the throne to head over there.

"Rabbit, I'm going to get one of those mabari health cookies from your bag, okay?" Luka said, but Rabbit didn't acknowledge him.

"I would not recommend you break her concentration," Morrigan said. She was sitting at Rabbit's other side and had one hand on Rabbit's leg, and Luka fought a grin. Morrigan noticed Luka staring and scowled. "I am simply giving her some mana as to not waste lyrium potions," she stated with a huff.

"Hey, I didn't say anything," Luka said innocently, barely managing to hide his smile as he rummaged through Rabbit's satchel. He eventually found the box of mabari crunch bones and offered one to Kitty, who gratefully snapped it up. His eyes brightened, and he shifted into a more comfortable position as the healing did its work. Luka gave him a swift pat on the head and stood again. "She's fine, right?" he asked Morrigan.

"Yes, perfectly well," Morrigan stated. "And, for once, she is not able to chatter."

Luka noticed a small smile twitch across Rabbit's face, and he ruffled her hair before returning to Alistair. "Know anything about the Arl's condition?" he asked briskly. "We might as well check on him while we wait for Wynne to come back."

"Ah, Isolde wasn't letting…" Alistair glanced at Isolde, then back at Luka. "We can check right now," he said.

Luka nodded and turned to Isolde with a dark glare. "Don't you dare do anything while I'm gone… or there will be consequences," he warned her, and she began crying as she dropped her head onto Leliana's shoulder.

"You're a lot better at intimidation than I am," Alistair muttered as he led Luka out of the room and into one of the silent hallways. Luka smirked. "Anyway, thanks for showing up. I know you didn't want to, but things were getting tense."

"It's fine," Luka replied. "I'm always happy to intimidate."

Alistair laughed a little uncomfortably. "Uh, right." The following silence was rather tense, and Alistair seemed relieved when they finally reached a pair of fancy doors. "This is the Arl's room. If he's not in here, then I'm not sure where he'll be."

Luka nodded and pushed open the door. The room was large, almost as large as his entire house in the Alienage, and tastefully decorated with items that looked more expensive than Luka's life. The pristine rug was a deep red and matched the covers of the massive bed. Luka shuddered slightly as he thought of Vaughen's room. It had looked a bit like this—more gaudy, but the colors were the same. Luka's heart thudded painfully as memories rushed through his mind, and he took a deep breath to calm himself before he dared to take a step forward.

Alistair was already at the head of the bed, staring down at the sallow man slumbering beneath the bloodred covers. Luka could have sworn it was the exact same shade of red as Vaughen's. He swallowed thickly and retraced that single step.

"You okay, Luka?" Alistair asked, and Luka startled as his voice broke the breathless silence of the room.

"Yeah," Luka forced himself to say as he turned his scattered attention to Alistair. "Yes. Uh, he's… alive, right?" he asked, trying to refocus his spinning mind.

Luka caught sight of a decorative sword hanging from the wall and remembered how Vaughen had held a similar one to Nesiara's throat. The handle had been golden and carved, just like that one. The blade had been spotless and wickedly sharp, just like that one. Luka felt himself shudder as he remembered the line of red that had blossomed across Nesiara's skin. It had dripped onto the rug, the rug whose shade easily hid the bloodstains.

Luka startled when the ringing in his ears was replaced with Alistair's voice, but he didn't comprehend any of the words. "What?" Luka asked abruptly and, based on Alistair's expression, he had interrupted him midsentence.

"Are you sure you're all right?" Alistair asked tentatively.

"I need to go… check on… something," Luka barely managed to say before he turned and rushed out of the room.

Luka was gasping for breath by the time he closed the door behind him. He put both hands over his mouth as his head began to spin, and he stumbled in a random direction. He struggled to keep his balance, and he felt himself break out in a cold sweat. The image of Nesiara collapsing into a pool of her own blood, of Shianni huddled on the floor crying, rushed through his mind, and he felt nauseous.

Luka dashed into the first room he could focus on, and he collapsed with his back against the door the second he entered. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath to steady his rampaging heart. He choked on air and pressed both hands over his eyes as he knocked the back of his head against the door as though he could physically beat back the pressure building in his throat. He felt tears stream from his eyes, and a sob was torn from his mouth despite his efforts.

Luka hadn't cried over Nesiara, not on their wedding day or any day after. No, he had been furious, bitter, vengeful, but now it was agonizing. Luka shuddered as his hands grew slick with the falling tears, and he tried desperately to halt the surges of emotion rushing through his body. It was an impossible feat, however, that only frustrated and angered him.

Eventually, Luka simply allowed himself to cry. He rested his face on his arms and knees and let the tears flow from his eyes, the emotions he had kept pent-up for so many months to escape. All the while, he wished someone were with him, yet he wanted no one to see him. He wanted company, comfort, but the thought of revealing this weakness was utterly disgusting.

Luka was the Warden-Commander. Luka was leading an army against the blight. Luka had authority over even nobility. Luka was not about to sit here and cry over something that happened months ago. Luka was not going to hope for some comfort like an infant.

Luka took a deep, shaky breath, and pressed the heels of his hands against his eyes until the tears stopped. He was better than this. He was stronger than this.

He wanted a damn hug.

But there was no one to give Luka a damn hug. Thus, he simply took another deep breath, wiped his face, and began to wait for his eyes to stop being red and puffy. He had time, after all. The only person who would bother looking for him was busy singlehandedly holding back a demon. He settled back more comfortably and closed his eyes. His mind was blank.

Luka drifted off into a half-sleep brought on by emotional exhaustion. This sense of peace was exactly what he needed. He needed to stop leading, to stop fighting, for just one moment and be a person. He just needed to feel like a person for ten damn minutes. He needed to be away from everyone staring at him, waiting for his orders, asking him questions he barely knew how to answer. They had so many expectations of him, and he still couldn't fathom why.

But so it was.

Nesiara, Shianni, his father, his mother, and all the other elves were pushed into the far reaches of Luka's mind. He hated himself for it, but he didn't have time for them, not right now, maybe not ever. His world had grown much larger than the Alienage.

Eventually, Luka opened his eyes and sighed deeply. His eyes were no longer hot, and his face was no longer damp. He stood up, brushed himself off, and nodded at nothing. He was a leader. He was the leader. His people needed him. The country needed him. The world needed him, as ridiculous as that sounded. This little break had been somewhat cathartic, but it was time for him to return to his job.

Luka took a deep breath, wiped his hands together, and quietly exited the room into the hallway. He looked around, unsure of where he was, so he simply wandered around, peeking into doors in hopes of recognizing an area. He found himself in a larder at one point, and he stared in awe at the sheer amount of expensive meat, cheese, and other delicacies stacked neatly in sorted piles. He shook his head in disgust as he thought of all the starving people around the world, even the villagers stuck in the Chantry with minimal resources, and he began to gather up as much as he could carry.

Luka was in a far better mood as he continued through the halls with his armfuls of precariously balanced spoils. He didn't bother pausing as a few pieces of food tumbled to the pristine floor when he had to shift his grip to open the door at the end of the hall. Here, Luka finally recognized the area with the Arl's bedroom. He suppressed a shiver at the memory of that place and valiantly slid past it. He made it back to the main hall with minimal loss of food, and he sat down with a huff.

"Oh, hey, there you are," Alistair called out when Luka entered. "I was a bit worried, but…" He watched Luka strangely. "I guess you were just, uh, really hungry."

Luka didn't reply. He only scrambled for a clean cloth where he could put all the food, and he eventually managed to dump it onto one of his spare shirts in his bag. "Alistair, light up the fireplace, will you?" Luka called out as he began separating the raw meats from the salted ones.

"Uhh, okay," Alistair said tentatively, still staring oddly at Luka, but Luka ignored him.

Luka calmly drew a knife and began slicing up ingredients, pausing to add spices and crumble the cheeses and dried meat as garnish. Alistair, easily recognizing what Luka was doing, found the Arl's expensive cookware and offered it to Luka. Luka gladly accepted, and his mood continued to rise the longer he cooked.

Before long, the entire room was cheerfully warm and filled with fantastic smells. Zevran disappeared for a few minutes, returning with a smug grin and many jars of expensive spices that he passed to Luka. Luka guessed that wasn't all Zevran had taken, but he didn't bother asking. Isolde had a permanent scowl on her face as she watched the proceedings. She spoke only to ask Luka to cook in the kitchen instead of the entrance hall, but Luka simply ignored her.

"Dinner," Luka eventually said once he was satisfied with the quality of the meal.

Luka unceremoniously passed around clearly expensive cutlery and allowed everyone to take what they wanted. He intended to bring a plate to Morrigan, but she was no longer at Rabbit's side. A casual glance around revealed she was not even in the room.

"Where did Morrigan go…?" Luka asked cautiously to the others. Alistair looked around, clearly surprised as well, but Zevran pointed to one of the doors that led deeper into the castle.

"She left through there, presumably to take in the glorious sights," Zevran said.

Luka gazed at the door thoughtfully for a few seconds, wondering if he should look for her just in case she was doing something nefarious, but he only hummed in acknowledgement and sat beside Rabbit. Morrigan would do what she pleased, and Luka could only hope it was nothing malicious.

"I'd offer you dinner," Luka told Rabbit, "but I'm not supposed to break your concentration, right? So, no eating, sorry."

"Fuck you," Rabbit muttered out of the corner of her mouth, and then she gasped and curled one hand into a fist, making the bars of the cage crackle and flash as the demon lunged forwards with a hiss.

"Oh shit, sorry," Luka said, realizing that this was a truly delicate situation. "I'll leave you be."

"Nuh," Rabbit mumbled with a frown as she glared at the cage.

"Okay, then I'll try not to be distracting," he replied as he leaned back on his hands.

Luka stared at the caged demon. It was gazing at Rabbit with pure abhorrence in its eyes, but flashes of fear ran through its eyes every time a crackle of electricity neared it. He glanced at Rabbit, who was starting the creature down with eyes sharp as blades. This girl was scaring a demon that had the power to awaken enough undead to destroy an entire town.

"You know you're a badass, right?" he said.

"Mmhm." Rabbit had a dark smirk on her face, and she clenched one hand into a fist making the demon cry out.

Her expression was chilling, almost hungry, so Luka scooted closer until their shoulders were touching. Her entire countenance brightened, and she shifted to lean against him with a proper smile on her face. Luka smiled himself. She was fine. They all were, no matter how much the world tried to break them.