This is my first ever Bleach fanfic and my first ever yaoi.
I dedicate it to my two favourite writers, Spunky0ne and SesshomaruFreak.
Thank you for all the awesome stories keeping me on the edge of my seat!
This fic won't be a long one, just a few chapters, but still I hope you'll like it :)

Please bear with me – English is not my native tongue, so I apologize for any mistakes.

Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach. I only wish I did.

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He had never thought that this day would come – and yet it did.

Rain was battering hard on the rubble-strewn ground – the remains of a once glorious place that the retreating enemy had left in ruins. The redhead's eyes opened slowly as he tried to take in his surroundings. He could not remember what twist of fate had left him senseless on the ground. The hazy, fragmented memories in his head did not make much sense when matched against the knowledge of the world he did remember. Where proud columns once stood, almost tearing the sky, only grey clouds remained; and the city that had once buzzed with life was now reduced to ominous silence disturbed only by the falling rain and the incessant ringing in his ears.

It was futile to blink away the invading raindrops when he felt tiny streams of water slowly sliding down his forehead as if struggling to erase the intricate patterns of his black markings. He tried to move, but ended up barely stirring. His arms and legs were dreadfully numb, and he attributed it to lying on the ground for an extended period of time. After all, he wasn't in much pain. He knew he must have lost consciousness at some point to end up in this sorry state, but even if there were any wounds, the rain had already washed the blood away. He could not be sure, but it was probably just the shock that had made him feel disoriented and weak. He just needed to calm down.

Get a grip, Abarai.

His resolve faded as a strange feeling fluttered in his chest – a restlessness, a haunting awareness that something absolutely critical had slipped his mind. His brow furrowed as he tried to remember, but the discomfort only increased as scattered images from the morning briefing at the First Division flashed through his head. The stern, wrinkled face of Captain Commander announcing that an unknown enemy had invaded Soul Society; the incredulity reflected on the faces of the Gotei 13 captains. And he realized that when the forces were deployed, he had not left the division quarters alone that day.

"T-taicho?" he struggled, but what was supposed to be a call ended up as a hoarse whisper. "Taicho!"

He stared at the grey sky above him, in vain trying to move.

Damn, what has happened here?!

He focused on sensing reiatsu, but if that ability (or rather lack thereof) had always been his weakest point, now his wounds left him unable to sense anything around him. Gathering his strength, Renji forced himself to move his head to the side, but for all the good it did, he might as well have stayed still. A throbbing pain exploded in his head and his vision blackened.

He woke some time later to the feeling of cold. It was a good thing, he decided, because the numbness in his arms and legs had receded. Fortunately, the rain was just a memory as well. He felt he could move again and the odd ringing in his ears was gone. Perhaps against all odds, his wounds were slowly healing. However, the glimmer of hope quickly faded when he opened his eyes to the sight of a broken piece of Senbonzakura sticking out from the rubble. The view felt like a sobering slap in the face that instantly brought his hazy mind awake. And if his mind failed to bring back the most recent memories, it quickly provided the worst possible scenarios of what might have happened.

Shit, Taicho…

He had never thought that this day would come – and yet it did.

Had they been… defeated? Did that mean that his Captain…?

Dark thoughts began to cloud his mind, but he willed them away. This was not the time to wallow in self-pity. Ignoring the pain, he straightened himself to a sitting position and looked around. The sight hit him almost like a physical thing, forcibly expelling all the air from his lungs. It felt as if an invisible force had just punched him right in his chest. A gasp escaped him as he spotted a figure dressed in a white haori lying on the ground in the distance.

"Taicho!" he called, but the person he thought to be his Captain did not as much as stir.

In a rush of adrenaline, Renji felt strength returning to him. The world continued to spin as he moved, so he did not trust his legs to stand up. Instead, he began to crawl towards the prone form in a white coat, ominously tainted with smudges of crimson. The very thought what the scene could mean made his blood run cold.

Byakuya was lying on his stomach, pale face barely visible from under long, black strands of wet hair sticking to his cheek and neck. Whatever blood might have been left on his skin, either disappeared into the ground with the rain or sunk into his shihakusho and haori. With rising alarm, the redhead realized that the noble's sword hand was trapped under a large piece of rubble.

"T-taicho?"

Just like before, there was no reaction. Renji felt an urge to do something, but at the same time felt a gripping fear that at the gentlest touch, his Captain's body would disintegrate into tiny particles. His clothing looked shredded as if a myriad of tiny blades had…

Renji froze.

S-senbonzakura? But how?

He swallowed hard and slowly rolled the unconscious man onto his back, careful not to pull his trapped arm. His breath caught. He had never seen the noble's face so pale, his brows devoid of the usual frown, fine lines lacking the severity imposed by the Captain's customary harshness. There were multiple cuts on his cheeks. Pink flesh and splotches of brown in places where blood had crusted, peeked out from countless cuts in his black shihakusho, telling the story of a brutally fierce battle. The view was horrifying, but the tension it brought to Renji's body dissipated some once he confirmed the slow rise and fall of his Captain's chest. At least he was still alive...

They both were.

Fate had been merciful.

He quickly rose his hands over Byakuya's chest, using his healing skills to assess the damage and heal what little he could. He barely began to close a deep shoulder wound when the green light beneath his fingers unexpectedly flickered and died. Shocked, he looked at his trembling hands.

Damn! Are we both really that screwed?

"S-sorry, Taicho…" he said more to himself than to his Captain. "Looks like we're out of luck today. But help should be here soon and I'm sure the Fourth is better at this shit than I am."

Without thinking much, Renji called a hell butterfly and quickly recorded a message.

"Squad Six Captain and lieutenant injured in battle. Immediate assistance needed. Coordinates attached."

The butterfly fluttered its black wings and rose into the air from Renji's finger, heading towards its destination. All that was left was hope that the healers would reach them quickly, especially since it was beginning to grow dark. He knew from countless lectures he had received from his Captain that swift evacuation from the battlefield was crucial in such situations. Enemy forces, whoever they were, could still be lurking on the battlefield, searching for easy targets. Renji had no illusions: right now he and Byakuya certainly fell under that category.

I don't even remember how it came to this... My reiatsu is too weak to allow me to use my healing power, so I guess I wouldn't even be able to release my shikai. I could look for help, but I can't leave him like that. What if the enemies are still here?

Renji sighed and lowered his eyes, a calloused hand reaching for Byakuya's slender, tekkou-clad one. The gesture was hesitant, reflecting the jumble of thoughts racing through his head. He had never dared to touch his Captain; the relationship between a captain and his lieutenant was meant to be deeply based on trust and loyalty, but also governed by strict rules to be followed and boundaries never to be crossed. When several years ago the noble had taken the hit meant for Rukia and Ichimaru's sword had pierced his heart, Renji had suddenly realized that what he felt for his Captain exceeded mere loyalty. Now he began to regret he had never dared to act on whatever it was he felt. He had never even named it.

At that time there seemed to be no reason to. The noble had always been the moon – shining bright, perfect in every way and out of reach. Hoping that the warmth he felt in his heart could ever be reciprocated would not even be fruitless… it would be downright foolish. There was a reason why other seated officers and recruits secretly nicknamed Byakuya the Ice Prince, and it was exactly who he was on the outside. There was irony in the fact that the thing which had eventually granted Renji a different perspective was his desire to hurt the noble. He was ashamed of it now, but it was exactly what he had had in mind, joining the Sixth Division. It used to be his goal. Following its Captain's every step, spying on him, noting his every weakness to one day defeat him for taking Rukia out of his life… Thank kami (or was Aizen to be thanked for it?), this madness had simply backfired on him – like everything had always had in his imperfect life.

What happened on the Sokyoku Hill unveiled a truth that almost pierced his heart as well. He had grown attached to the man he had been planning to kill. Byakuya might have been the one lying unconscious in a white room smelling of antiseptics with his chest heavily bandaged, but he had been the one sitting there in the corner with his heart still bleeding. Even Captain Unohana would not be able to heal that – to erase his shame. He had really prayed for Byakuya to get well then, and he was praying for it now. So when he touched his Captain's hand, he truly hoped for some kind of verbal reproof or that stern look of disapproval that would mean that the noble had regained consciousness. That he was going to recover.

But there was none.

"Taicho, you really need to wake up," he whispered. "It's gonna be getting dark s-soon".

His gaze travelled from the small limp hand resting in his own, bigger one, towards the boulder trapping Byakuya's sword arm. He had to at least try to dislodge it. But the moment he reached it, he felt his Captain's uninjured hand tighten on his.

"N-no."

Renji's heart skipped a beat. A faint grimace of pain crossed the noble's features and the shocked lieutenant immediately withdrew his hand as if burned.

"Taicho?"

Byakuya's eyes opened and he blinked several times, trying to bring the person leaning over him into focus. He did not say anything, but the look of disorientation on his face told Renji everything he needed to know.

"It's okay, Taicho. We need to free your hand," he said reassuringly. "I'm gonna try to move that boulder."

"No!" the noble rasped before breaking into a coughing fit.

Renji quickly rolled him slightly to the side, so that he could expel whatever was blocking his airways. "O-okay," he tightened his hold on the trembling, cough-ridden body, concern clouding his eyes as he saw his superior coughing up blood clots. "It's okay, I'm not gonna do anything you don't want to."

As the convulsions subsided, Byakuya visibly relaxed and Renji helped him return to his previous position. Fatigued grey eyes closed for a moment, but when they opened again, the redhead saw something he had never seen there before.

Resignation.

For so many reasons that day should have never come – and yet it did.