Eiji could still hear his ankle shattering sometimes. The earsplitting sound that made him wake up screaming or left him trembling if he was awake. He would never forget that sound. That sound meant that his world had ended. Everything he had ever hoped for, wished for, longed for. It took some weeks until the harsh truth dawned on him. Until he couldn't pretend any longer nothing had happened and had to face reality. When reality began to sink in. At that point it all came crashing down on him. Not at once. It came slowly, sneaking in like a poison that slowly killed you from the inside over time until he was nothing more, but a human shell, a puppet with cut strings. A body without a soul. Empty. Lifeless. Emotionally dead. At that point he had just shut himself in his room, refused to eat or talk to anyone and just lay in his bed, hiding under his blanket because nothing in his life mattered anymore. A flyboy with broken wings. A canary who can't sing.

His parents were worried, he was aware of that. He just didn't care at the moment. All he wanted was to be left alone. After some weeks his parents finally lost their patience and forced him to see a therapist. Eiji just agreed to it because he was too numb and too lazy to fight with them. He didn't talk to the therapist, either. He just sat there with vacant, indifferent eyes and didn't say anything. Big surprise. If he wanted to talk, he would talk to one of his friends, not a complete stranger that didn't even know what pole vaulting was. After some weeks the therapist gave up, prescribed him some pills and told his parents apparently that maybe a fresh start or a change of scenery would help him get better again.

His mother had obviously called Ibe and had told him what had happened. Because a few days later, he really came all the way just to see him. Ibe couldn't hide his astonishment when seeing him, staring at him wide-eyed in complete disbelief. He apparently looked that bad, huh? But Eiji saw the relief on his mother's face when he left the house for the first time in weeks. He only did it because he wanted to speak to Ibe alone. Ibe had always listened to him and knew about his situation at home. He was like a big brother to him, not a father. Since he wasn't that much older than him, it was easier to talk to him. If he was lucky, he wouldn't judge him as his family did.

Moreover, Ibe had taken all those photos of him, watching him pole vault for weeks. So he desperately hoped that Ibe would understand better what he had gone through and how much this accident had destroyed him. That this had been so much more than a mere sport to him. It was his way to fly, to escape from here and be truly happy for a moment. Pole vaulting made him feel alive and completely free. He could forget everything around him for a fraction of a second.

How his father was in hospital and would eventually die. How his mother was flirting with another man right in front of his eyes. How he had to take care of many things at home and take responsibility since his sister was too small. How he could never go out with friends because money was tight and he just couldn't afford it or even find the time for it.

Pole vaulting had been the only thing that had put a smile on his face. The reason he got up everyday. And now everything was over… His scholarship would be revoked any time now and he would have no other chance than to quit college and find a boring and underpaid job. All the dreams he had, they didn't matter anymore. He would never achieve them anyway… so why even bother trying?

"Eiji, what the hell happened to you? You look awful. Like you haven't slept or eaten for weeks.

Eiji smiled sadly, knowing what was coming now. Eiji had really hoped that Ibe wouldn't tell him what all the people had told him before, proving that they didn't understand his circumstances at all:

I'm sorry this has happened to you, Eiji, but it's just a minor injury. It will heal. Why don't you try find something else you like? Another hobby or sport?

That was usually followed by:

"It's just a damn sport, Eiji. Don't you think you're overly dramatic? Aren't you overreacting?

But Ibe just sat down with him on a bank and looked at him.

"Tell me what happened. Please."

Eiji wanted to refuse since all people in his life had asked him the exact same question. His parents, his doctors, his friends, his neighbors, his therapist. But unlike all the other people, Ibe's eyes didn't show disappointment or pity, but only warmth, honesty and concern as he put an arm around his shoulder. So Eiji just sighed and began to tell him the whole story from the beginning. When he had ended, the tears that he hadn't been able to shed before finally began to fall. Because he had felt just empty and hopeless all the time. Because he had no one who really understood his situation. No one had been able to sympathize with what he had gone through. He felt like a complete failure as a human being without any hope for a future. What was he supposed to do without a college degree?

Now that he finally had started talking, everything he had bottled up for weeks flowed out of him, so he was unable to stop himself. All the emotions he had suppressed for so long: hurt, pain, guilt, grief, hopelessness, desperation, Ibe let him talk without saying anything, apparently feeling that Eiji had to let it all out. When Eiji began crying silently, he just hugged him until his tears stopped falling.

"I'm sorry this has happened to you, Ei-chan. I know pole vaulting was more than a sport to you and has always played an important part in your life. I also know that the situation with your family isn't the best. But still, you can't go on like this. Drowning in self-pity is not the right way of handling this. You have to do something. Find a way out of your situation.", Ibe told him honestly.

Eiji nodded quietly, leaning forward, a hand covering his eyes. He knew that Ibe was right, but he didn't know how he could overcome this desperate situation he was in.

"But what am I supposed to do? I can't continue to go to college. My scholarship will be revoked, so I can't complete my studies. My grades are good, but not that good that I get a scholarship that way.", Eiji explained honestly, looking sadly at him, close to tearing up again.

"Come with me to New York. I've been living there for some time now. You can get a fresh start there."

"You mean you flew here from New York?!", Eiji exclaimed in surprise, his eyes widening. "Just for me?"

"Yes. I wanted to make you an offer. I have a friend at the university in New York. She owes me a favor and I told her about your situation. She told me she'd talk to your university and you could work for me part-time and go to university there. She has just sent me the paperwork. You just have to hand in some documents and organize the formalities. I buy you a ticket and pay you enough to get by in New York. And since your circumstances are special, your university agreed to grant you a scholarship for one year in New York because your grades are excellent as well. They'll also help you find an apartment there."

Eiji just stared at him. "You did all of that for me? Why?"

"Because I worry about you. Your family worries, too. Your therapist told your parents that a fresh start would help you. And I really need a good assistant. I couldn't find one who could also understand Japanese. My English is not that good…", he said, running a hand through his hair. "You have a really good eye. I've seen your photos. They're good. Besides, my success as a photographer

started with your photos when I won that photo contest. So, in a way, I owe you.", he smiled encouragingly at him. "So, what do you think?"

"I think this is too good to be true. But I'll do it."

"Great. You look so much better now. And you can finally smile again. But you need some weeks to organize everything. Unfortunately, I can't stay this long, so you have to come to NYC by yourself. Just call me when you'll arrive and I'll pick you up."

"Thanks, Ibe. "I honestly don't know what to say."

"Just promise me you will come. And that you'll stop worrying everyone around you. This is your chance, Ei-chan. Make the most of it."

Eiji just nodded. "Thank you."

Some weeks later, he arrived in New York with a suitcase and big duffel bag. His ankle protested loudly at the weight he was carrying, but for the first time Eiji didn't care. His injury had healed long ago according to his doctor and Eiji knew the pain was more psychosomatic. Hopefully, it would disappear when he had settled down here.

After he had talked with Ibe, he had tried to change his life. He had talked to his parents and his friends, had apologized and tried to explain his behavior to them. He had asked his mother if he could see that therapist again and had talked to him about his injury, had taken the medication he had been prescribed and had slowly noticed how he felt better. At the end he had been able to reduce the pills. He had also handled all the paperwork with his university and was at least able to walk without crutches. It wasn't perfect, but it was a start in the right direction.

In New York he could finally breathe again. It was as if he had been holding his breath for the last few weeks without noticing it. Everything felt, smelt and looked so different here. Like a new world. A new start. Eiji smiled for the first time.

Ibe had offered to pick him up, but Eiji had kindly refused, saying he had an appointment with his landlord and wanted to have a look at his apartment first. He found the address without problems (compared to finding an address in Tokyo, finding an address here was a walk in the park) and talked to his land lord. He was pretty nice and told him, the apartment has not a lot of furniture and to throw away the few things the previous tenant left there. He was deceased and had no one to come pick up his stuff.

Eiji had just agreed to it because he had gotten the apartment pretty cheap and within that short amount of time it hadn't been easy to find an apartment in New York. All the apartments on the university campus had already been occupied by the time he had asked. He could switch at the end of this semester if he was lucky. So Eiji didn't ask too many questions and just accepted the offer.

Of course, Ibe had offered that he could stay with him at the beginning, but Eiji didn't want to be a burden, especially after all he had done for him. And he wanted to enjoy his new freedom and his gained independence.

When he opened the door, he suddenly knew why the apartment had been so cheap. It wasn't cleaned, the apartment looked run down and dusty and the walls looked dirty. Obviously no one had opened the windows for months. There were two rooms. In one there was just a bed, a desk with a bookshelf and some drawers on the right side. On the left side there was a computer on a simple wooden table, another chair and some books and papers were lying everywhere across the floor.

In the room next to it there was a sofa, a table and a shelf. A dusty old lamp was hanging from the ceiling, the only light source in this dark room since the window was really small. And so dirty you couldn't look outside.

There was also a small, but barely used kitchen and a bath room, both had obviously not cleaned in months. The apartment looked as if no one had really lived here. The kitchen had obviously never been used, there weren't even any kitchen utensils, let alone plates or cups. The only things he found was a bottle opener. Great!

Eiji sighed and put his suitcase and jacket in a corner. That would he a hard piece of work.

So, after buying some basic things for the apartment and some cleaning products, Eiji had scrubbed the floors thoroughly, removed the dirt on all the walls and cleaned the windows, so you could actually see outside. He also cleaned all the rooms and put all the belongings of his previous tenant in a plastic box he had found under the bed.

After cleaning it already looked much nicer. Eiji slowly looked around. The room felt strangely cold. There were no personal belongings at all: no photos, no posters, no backpack, no smartphone. Not even a TV When he got closer to the bed to inspect if it was even safe or even healthy sleeping on there, he stepped on a plank of wood that had suddenly gotten loose. Before Eiji could even react the plank had swung up and hit him right in the face. Eiji fell down on the floor with a loud thump. Ouch! That will definitely leave a nice little bump on his forehead. But then he realized with a start that someone had hidden some stuff there and stared into the hole in disbelief.

Is that … a gun? A real one?!

What kind of mess have I gotten myself into now?!