Disclaimer: I do not own these characters as they belong to Rumiko Takahashi (Inuyasha) and Masashi Kishimoto (Naruto).
There are always things in my life that I have questioned: the truth behind gramps' crazy stories, how Inuyasha can (quite literally) inhale three containers of instant ramen without hesitation or the need to breathe, and how my life would have turned out if Mistress Centipede hadn't unwillingly plunged me into the Sengoku Jidai three years ago.
What would my life be like without Inuyasha? Sango? Miroku or Shippo? Even Kaede has had a huge impact on the person I have become – and the person that I strive to be in the future.
Even though I try ferociously hard not to think about it, even though I know there's no point in wondering, there's always another question that haunts me daily. What would my life be like without the Shikon no Tama?
"Watch out, wench!"
Startled, I realized that I had nearly walked into the side of the large trees surrounding the outskirts of Kaede's village, a woven basket for herbs from the meadow around the sacred well dangling precariously on the edge of my fingertips. "Oh! Sorry, Inuyasha! I wasn't paying attention."
"Keh! You should be more careful, ya know. You're clumsy enough as it is." Inuyasha had folded his arms in the sleeves of his haori and was giving me his signature eyeroll. You know the one, right? Nose in the air, dark golden eyes slanted down in annoyance, arms tucked into the robe of the fire-rat?
Yeah, that one.
"Hmph! You try walking around in these awful sandals and then we'll see who's clumsy, Inuyasha." I'd taken to wearing the robe of the miko two years ago; the same year that I had really buckled down in my miko training and strived to learn the ways and duties of a priestess. I can easily handle the billowing sleeves, but the traditional zori are far more uncomfortable than the brown loafers from my time.
"Keh." Inuyasha grunted and looked away – I knew that he enjoyed seeing me in the traditional garb of the miko, I just haven't quite been able to fully pinpoint the reason why. Was it because I even more greatly resemble the great and fabulous Kikyo?
I felt my face heat slightly in embarrassment and irritation. My gaze shifted behind me and to the left, where I could see the other priestess leaned casually against a tree as the children of the village greedily sought her attention. I hate that I am still jealous of Inuyasha's former and current love interest and I absolutely hate that I still let her presence get to me, especially since we wear matching clothes.
It was a good thing, though, that my tattoos set us a great deal apart from one another now. Without them, I'm not sure that I would have been able to stomach the matching garb this long…and, without them and the training that it took to earn them, I'm not sure that we would have defeated Naraku, either.
Oh, I'm terribly sorry – I haven't exactly explained everything that's happened in the past three years, have I?
Let's start from the beginning:
A fifteen-year-old Kagome Higurashi is dragged forcibly down a well within her family's shrine, sending her rocketing five hundred years into the past.
Kagome (me, if you're wondering) befriends a half-demon by the name of Inuyasha, an older priestess named Kaede, a monk named Miroku, a demon-slayer named Sango, and a kitsune pup named Shippo.
Over the course of nearly two years, my friends and I traveled across Japan in search of the shards of the Shikon no Tama, a sacred jewel that was accidentally broken by me during my first encounter with Mistress Centipede and Inuyasha. Since then, we've made new friends, collected the jewel shards, and fought countless battles against Naraku, the spider half-demon, and his various incarnations.
About a year into our journey, Kikyo joined us – not willingly, mind you, but because she didn't really have a choice. Unfortunately (for me), the collection of souls using the shinidamachū wasn't enough to sustain Kikyo's clay body after a long period of time. Insert me – being around her original soul (my soul) allowed her to replenish more of her energy and sustain herself within the living world for the time being. It wasn't a lasting solution (since I didn't enjoy the idea of her stealing my soul for herself anytime soon), but it allowed her to stay strong enough to help us track down the sacred jewel shards and fight Naraku.
…and it allowed her to rekindle her relationship with Inuyasha. Two years ago, I was devastated – I thought that Inuyasha was going to be the person that I would spend the rest of my life with, the person that I would grow old with. I forget, sometimes, how in love I was with Inuyasha at sixteen years old.
And who could blame me? He was incredibly strong, he was stunningly handsome, and he was ferociously protective.
But it happened – Kikyo was charming, strong, and beautiful. Even as a clay shell of herself, she was still the embodiment of Inuyasha's first love – and that was all that she needed to be. It wasn't long before they spent most of their time together; time that was also spent away from the group as a whole.
That was okay with me; I was devastated and spent the majority of my time pasting on a happy façade for Shippo and the others so that no one could see exactly how effected I was by their relationship.
That's also when I decided to truly pursue my heritage as a miko. I wanted to be stronger and I wanted, more than ever, to more powerful than Kikyo could ever dream about being.
First, I approached Kaede with a plea to teach me something beyond the absolute basics. I knew that it wouldn't be much, as Kaede had limited spiritual energy, but I was determined and ready to learn. She taught me the proper way to use a bow and arrow, the huge assortment of herbs and plants used for medicinal purposes, and the history of the Shikon no Tama.
My next step sort of fell into my lap – through Rin, the small ward of Lord Sesshomaru. A curious child by nature, Rin stumbled unknowingly into Oni territory out of the view of the not-so-watchful eyes of Jaken. I was practicing my shooting quite a bit farther from camp than Inuyasha liked, but I didn't very much care about what he wanted at this point. And it was a good thing that I didn't that day, for Rin's sake. It was Rin's scream that startled me into action – the Oni had cornered her, its great blue body, grisly hair, and tusks making the perfect threat against young Rin.
I was lucky – I had enough arrows and enough time to send the Oni shimmering into dust before he could lay a finger on her. I think it was Rin's sobs and cries of relief that finally brought about the arrival of Jaken and Ah-Un…and Ah-Un that lead to the arrival of Lord Sesshomaru and the ensuing threatening glare that was only quailed by the realization that Rin's safety was jeopardized and I had been the one that saved her.
I was lucky, too, that Sesshomaru had grown to care for Rin as he had…and that he noticed my blossoming heritage and offered two things as compensation for her survival. The first was a boon, to be collected at a point in the future. The second was an offering to be trained in the art of proper control of spiritual energy through his knowledge of past miko and his own demonic abilities.
I am not ashamed to say that I nearly fell apart at the chance to further my strength and abilities, even if it was with Lord Sesshomaru (of all people).
It is Inuyasha that should be ashamed – he should be ashamed of the words that spewed from his mouth and acid that seemed to drip from his gaze as he looked me over like some common whore while I collected my belongings and placed them within Ah-Un's saddle bags. Ashamed, too, of the venom he spat at me – 'You promised to be loyal to me! You swore that you would never leave me! Fuck this, you wench! And with my bastard of a brother!' – while I hugged Shippo and said my goodbyes to Sango, Miroku, and Kilala.
I know that it was hard to watch me leave; I know that it was hard to understand that I needed to leave, but I knew what I had to do, even if It broke me, even if it dissolved the friendship that I adored more than anything in the world. Naraku was quickly gaining strength and precious Shikon shards as time passed…and the only way that I could help was to further my strength, abilities, and protect the remaining shards from his grasp so that he could be defeated.
Over the next few months, my training with Lord Sesshomaru was brutal, harsh, and unfathomably rewarding. At dawn, little Rin would wake me with a beaming smile and whatever collected food she'd cooked up or gathered to share. Next came the meditation – Lord Sesshomaru believed that my energy needed to be concentrated and meditation taught me further control, understanding, and gave me the peace that I needed to get through the day.
After meditation came combat using whatever weapon (or, most times, no weapon) at Lord Sesshomaru's disposal; if I was to be truly strong, I would learn to pour my energy into other weapons – be it a katana, a shuriken, a pebble, or my own hands, feet, mouth, and the entirety of my body. Lord Sesshomaru taught me that my spiritual energy was a prominent extension of my body – and should, therefore, be able to be used by every part of my body. And he was right.
It was with surprise that I learned about my tattoos – the tattoos that appeared around my body with each ability and area that I mastered. It started with my hands, long swirls of dark ink that seemed to bubble forth from the depths of my soul and spread from the tips of my fingers outward as I progressed.
Everything was going smoothly. My training was progressing rapidly, and I was nearly ready to rejoin Inuyasha and the others when it happened.
My transformation was an accident – caused by a horrific, jarring attack that would have been the death of me if it wasn't for Lord Sesshomaru…and the Shikon no Tama, of course.
It was early, I remember that much – I had left camp to go bathe in a nearby creek when they came. Out of everyone that I have met in this time, out of everyone that I have stumbled across, befriended, or happened upon – why did I have to meet the evil that were those men?
Four men. Four men that swept from the woods and pulled me from the water. Four men that ripped off my underwear and used rope to bind my hands and feet.
Four men that eyed my naked body with greed and hunger, that disregarded my miko tattoos. Four men that ignored my cries and pleas to leave me alone. Each one had a sharp blade – and each one wanted a turn at carving a design into my pale skin. A turn, they said, at branding their signature on a miko.
It was four men, too, that were slaughtered at the hands of Lord Sesshomaru. Four men that were strewn to pieces by the stinging sharpness of his claws.
It was Lord Sesshomaru that carried me back to camp, bundled and swathed in his outer haori. And it was Rin that rushed to my side, tears in her large eyes and sadness dripping from her words.
The Shikon no Tama acted then – a pulse that started from one shard to the next until each shard in the bottle around my neck thrummed with excitement and a plea to be released. I was sweating. I was bleeding. I was broken. And the corruption of the demon souls within the sacred jewel wanted out.
There was darkness, a thick, ominous veil that smothered out the sunlight and wrapped around my body like a lecherous smoke. In the distance, I could faintly hear the screech of Jaken and the feel the heat from the flames that rolled out of the staff of two heads as he fought away the darkness. Sesshomaru roared and I felt a coolness sweep through my body – an icy chill that seared through my bloodstream and caused sharp gasps to escape my mouth from the pain.
And then, the darkness fled, and the jewel shards stopped thrumming around my neck. An echoing silence unfolded as I struggled to open my eyes, to see what damage the darkness had caused. But when I managed to look around, there was nothing that seemed different. I was still swaddled in silk, Rin was still by my side with tears in her eyes, Jaken was still screeching…and Sesshomaru?
Oh.
Sesshomaru had transformed, reverted from his seven-foot-tall humanoid self with flowing silver hair and glowing honey gold eyes to the giant, furred form of his beast counterpart. What had happened while the darkness had veiled the sky? What had caused the usual iron-clad control of Lord Sesshomaru to slip long enough for him to transform?
At first, I wasn't sure – I was still sweating, still bleeding, still broken. Except…I wasn't. The bleeding had stopped, the pain had stopped, and, as I pulled back the silk of Sesshomaru's haori to look at the bloody mess that was formerly my chest, the designs on my skin were gone, faded into a light pinkness that I had to squint to see clearly.
Lord Sesshomaru growled and I flinched, my eyes suddenly stinging and something in me screaming to bend my head back, exposing my neck to the dog demon beside me. I looked up, up into the intimidating and enormous red eyes.
'What did you do, miko?' the voice came as a low rumble from the menacing mouth. A whimper escaped my lips – a whimper! 'I don't know!' I cried back at him, my hands clutching the haori tightly to my skin and tears blossoming at the edges of my eyes. It was only at the sound of tearing silk that I looked down and saw the deadly claws attached to my once not-so-threatening hands.
'What's happened to me?' I cried and, with horror, I realized that I wasn't speaking in my own native Japanese, but was, instead, releasing a series of yips and growls that somehow translated the same in my brain.
'You tell me, miko! It was your forsaken jewel shards that forced me to relinquish control to my beast.' Sesshomaru wasn't at all pleased, and I couldn't blame him in the slightest. Control meant everything to Lord Sesshomaru – he'd spent his entire life developing his iron-clad persona and a slight little human like me wasn't about to ruin it with some jewel shards, regardless of their power.
'I-I don't understand. They've never done anything like this before, not that I've seen, at least…Lord Sesshomaru, look at my hands! I've grown claws – and why I am I speaking this way? What's happening?' I was beginning to panic and, in my panic, I had forgotten that demon lords such as Sesshomaru didn't care about mikos such as myself.
Slowly, Sesshomaru's large form began to shrink until he was his silver-haired, proud humanoid self once again. Even more slowly, he approached me. 'Is it alright if I come closer, miko?'
I felt my eyebrows scrunch together in confusion – and then, I understood.
Four men had attacked me. Four men had branded me, taking turns with my body like I was some kind of cheap canvas bought from the local craft store. I nodded to him and waited for his examination of my body for damage control. He sniffed carefully around my wrists, first, bringing my limbs slowly to his elegant nose and smelling each one carefully before releasing them softly and closing his eyes to think.
'You no longer stink of ningen, miko.' The words processed slowly, but he didn't hesitate and kept going. 'You smell of pack, of kin. You smell as if you were born of the Inu-no-Tashio's demon blood. You smell, in essence, of me.'
What?
It was a long time before either of us spoke again. 'But how?' I breathed, unable to comprehend the full weight of today's events. He shook his head, his icy stare piercing and cold.
'Think, miko. What power beyond the cursed jewel of four souls would be able to do such a thing?' He was rigid, stony with malice and anger. The jewel? The jewel had done this?
'Why?' My voice rasped and broke, why would the Shikon change me? 'Am I a demon?'
I must be – for Sesshomaru to state that I smelled like him, of all people, I could only be a demon. But what purpose did it serve? What did the jewel gain from transforming me so?
And what did I do now? Could I even still be the Shikon Miko if I wasn't human? Could I even be a miko at all?
My mind was racing, and my heart throbbed in anguish at the idea of losing my spiritual energy. What would happen to the Shikon? To me?
'MIKO!' Sesshomaru's voice barked sharply in my ear; I was panting and sweaty once more from the panic that now thrummed through my veins. 'Stop this, miko. Do you wish to continue acting so pathetic? When the blood of the great Inu-no-Tashio now runs through your veins?' His voice was dripping with venom – poison that dripped into my ears and only made my panic that much worse.
The blood of the Inu-no-Tashio? The blood of Inuyasha's father?
Kami. Inuyasha.
That was when the tears started and just wouldn't stop, even when Rin stumbled forward with little arms reaching to wrap tightly around my waist. Even when Sesshomaru growled and Jaken shrieked. Even when hours passed and the sun began to set on the horizon.
It was only when I was too exhausted to cry anymore that I fell asleep, Rin still wrapped securely around me and my new-found body feeling foreign and wrong.
It was a week before I had settled enough in my new body that I was able to continue my training with Lord Sesshomaru. And a month before I was able to call forth the demonic energy that now simmered beneath my spiritual energy – both, now, would need to be controlled and dispersed.
My human miko training with Sesshomaru had nearly been complete, but my training as a new-found demon miko had only just begun.
I spent the remainder of that year traipsing the length of Japan with Lord Sesshomaru's pack. As a human, traveling with Lord Sesshomaru had seemed like an obligation – a rewarding one, but an obligation none-the-less.
Traveling as a demon of Inu-blood with Lord Sesshomaru felt like coming home, like I was exactly where I belonged in the world. My new demon instincts screamed that Sesshomaru was alpha; he was strong, fierce, protective, and everything in between. In those first few weeks, I needed Sesshomaru like I needed air – the smells, sights, and emotions that overwhelmed me only seemed to dwindle when he was near, when his aura fought mine into submission in a battle for dominance that claimed over and over again that he was the alpha of the pack.
I was nearly eighteen when I convinced Lord Sesshomaru to seek out Inuyasha. The Shikon shards pulsed constantly now with a desire to be fused and whole with the rest. We had gone for days without finding a single shard and I knew – I could feel it in my soul that the spider hanyou had managed to collect the remaining shards and that it was time to rejoin the others and face him, once and for all.
And wasn't it a shock, when I showed up? My raven hair twice as long, my claws, fangs, and pointed ears exposed for the world to see?
I must say, I expected it to be quite a bit harder to defeat Naraku. I also expected Inuyasha's reaction to me to be a thousand times worse.
Both were anti-climactic, in a way. I expected blood, I expected suffering, I expected yelling and demon transformations, and red-eyed hatred.
I didn't expect the Shikon shards to reject Naraku's possession, to reject the mismatched body of demons that he had sewn together with malice.
Naraku's defeat seemed easy – the hard part was explaining to everyone why it was so easy.
What had happened to me? Why did I smell so strongly of Lord Sesshomaru? Why did I look different? Why had I stayed gone so long? Didn't I want to be around them anymore?
It was this last question that I answered first, upset that Shippo would truly belive that I had avoided them on purpose. The rest of the answers followed soon after – I explained the incident with the Shikon no Tama and its manipulation of Sesshomaru and I – the way that it had bound us by blood and instinct, the way that it had changed me, specifically.
And here we are, three months after the final battle with Naraku and my reunion with Inuyasha and the others. Lord Sesshomaru had retreated back to the western lands three weeks after his defeat and I found it harder than I would have liked to be separated from the sense of kin and pack that came with his presence, especially with the joy that I wanted to feel at being reunited with my friends.
"Hey, Inuyasha." I called out for the silver haired hanyou's attention as I made my way past the line of trees surrounding the ancient well and set the basket full of medicinal herbs down by its edge. A grunt sounded from behind me and I rolled my eyes before continuing, "Thank you for coming with me today."
There was a sharp intake of breath – subtle, but there, and I understood that Inuyasha realized the weight of my words. I hadn't had the courage to visit my family since Naraku's defeat – the jewel was complete…what would happen if I returned to my time and couldn't come back?
"You sure about this, wench? What if…" He flinched when I looked back up at him, worry reflecting back at me from the depths of his golden eyes.
"I have to try, Inuyasha. I have to see if the well will still let me through – if it'll let me see my family." I missed them; my mom, Souta, and gramps were incredibly precious to me and I hadn't seen them in so long.
"But what if it doesn't let you come back, Kagome?" It was my name that did it, my name tumbling from Inuyasha's mouth that made me realize how much he would miss me if the well decided to stop working.
"Then that's what happens, Inuyasha." I sighed and rubbed at the tips of my ears out of habit. "They deserve to know that I'm safe and that Naraku is dead. How would you feel if I left suddenly and never bothered to tell you that I was alive and okay?" I saw his right foot kick softly at the ground and a loud 'Keh!' resounded before he turned away and picked up the basket of herbs that I had collected along the way.
I had decided that I would say goodbye to everyone before I left, just in case, and had made my way to the ancient well with Inuyasha following softly behind me. "Don't worry so much." I smiled at him, placing my sandaled feet on the ancient wood. "I'll see you again soon, I promise."
And I jumped.
And the portal opened, engulfing me in dark purples, blues, and silvery light.
And then, it stopped, and I looked up, ready to launch my body upward and into the well house of my family's shrine.
But there was bright sky, sunshine, and clouds floating above with no wooden beams in sight. What had happened?
Did the well no longer work? Would it not let me through?
I could feel the tears coming and I wanted to be as close to Inuyasha and the others as I could be when they came. Inuyasha couldn't be far; I'd only just jumped down the well. I bet he hadn't even moved yet. I pushed my legs down and back up, launching my body upward and rocketing out of the surrounding dirt and into the sky.
Something wasn't right. Where were the trees? The forest surrounded the sacred well had suddenly vanished, replaced by a rapidly flowing stream to my right and rocky earth to my left.
I smelled the air, searching for a hint of a familiar scent.
Nothing smelled the same; I couldn't smell Inuyasha, the village, or anything remotely familiar.
Where was I? Where had the well taken me?
No. No. No.