It's been a while, right? I'm prepping something to commemorate Simply Stupid's 3rd anniversary that I'm gonna post on every Simply Stupid story that is active. I promise it'll look nice.
I don't own Pokémon or any series mentioned. I'm just a college student who likes making shitposts, art, music, and animation. Read, Review, and Enjoy!
10 minutes after Ash Chapter 4...
Ash sat near a stall with the other PFL hopefuls when a Petilil and a Whimscott came in with a confections cart that said Sammy Candies and Fireworks.
"Fireworks and candy for sale!"
"Sixty-nine percent off for the fireworks! Free of charge for PFL exhibition fighters!"
Ash looked at them before thinking to himself.
"Give me a box of gummy Teddiursas!" Gardener Giga made an excited shout. Looking at the other hopefuls, she asked what they wanted. "What do any of you want?"
"Large Raspberry Cotton Candy!" Delphi Daring pointed out. "Also, give me three firecrackers."
What if Ash couldn't get in? Would he have to get a job doing something else?
"Aye! Can I have some Orioles? Just a packet." Jimbo Jango asked politely.
Maybe he could help Bianca in working at the art museum?
"Fig bar. That's it." OJ Challenger shrugged.
Work with Kanon in that ice cream and confections factory the small Eon was talking about?
Xan Yan Zan made a small gesture at the Petilil for some candy. "Jam-filled marshmallows, please! Make it jumbo."
Ash slouched and muttered, closing his eyes. "*sigh* Think Ash! Think! What can you do part-time?"
The Petilil looked at Ash to ask him a question.
"Excuse me?"
Ash didn't listen as he rubbed the back of his head in frustration.
"Excuse me?"
Still no response.
"Excuse me?"
Groaning at what was going on, the Whimsicott got the bright idea to unbutton Ash's pants to see if he would react.
"*zip!* Is anyone home?" she teased, getting the attention of Gardener Giga, Delphi Daring, and the petilil as she unzipped Ash's pants. She was about to pull it down when the large Pikachu stared at her with an indignant face that said "WTF?!".
He made a low scowl. "Why did you unzip my pants?"
The whimsicott gave him a bland look before hopping off, ignoring her indecent act. "You didn't answer my friend three times. Also, nice log. It'd rip my insides in bed."
All Ash did was cringe violently before turning to the petilil, zipping up his pants. What the f4(k is with this pokémon?
"Do you want something?" the Petilil asked, innocently pointing at the selection of goods available.
"... These look pretty good." all the Petilil did was nod in approval. The next question widened almost everyone's eyes. "Do you have any chocolate?"
From the hopefuls to the other confection seller (the Whimsicott), they all stared at Ash as though he was crazy. Meanwhile, the Petilil made an adorable but dazed stare as she tried to remember where she left the final bar.
"Why chocolate? That stuff will make you drunk." Xan Yan Zan commented. "I don't think she even has chocolate, to begin with..."
Delphi Daring nodded, still eating her cotton candy. The firecrackers were stuffed on her tail right next to her stick. The Braxien was about to gobble on some more cotton candy when the Petilil used her Vine Whips to present a brown candy bar that has white Xs on the edges. They didn't expect her to have chocolate in her possession.
"We ran out of cocoa powder yesterday so... This is the last one we have for the day! It has nougat, marshmallow, uh... I think someone added cashews and peanuts."
Ash smiled and took it in appreciation. "... I'll take it. Thanks!"
They all looked at him when he bit in, expecting something bad to happen.
"*chew* Hm... *chew* This is really good!"
"Really?"
"Yeah! Kinda has a mellow taste, a soft inner texture, and even a sticky aftertaste! It's great!"
As the six PFL amateurs ate, they realized how awkward it was that they barely even know each other and they didn't even get to know each other.
"So..." Ash began as he finished off the last of his chocolate. "How's everyone's day today?"
Xan was the first to respond. "Good. I just finished fixing the PFL Battlers Archive after their head secretary stuck her head through the skylight."
"A dumb venusaur ate my stache of manure..." Gardener Giga sighed to herself as she also finished her snack.
OJ looked at the gardevior and gave a face of aversion. "... My girlfriend is a venusaur!"
"Well, she must be a smart one."
The Machamp shook his head at that and ate his fig bar like a small strawberry. "Yeah... *gulp* I had to knock out a gible for breaking into my workplace's storage room."
"Eh? That was you cunt? Me dumb4$$ nephew was complaining about a machamp busting his little noggin for breaking into a mall's storage room! HAhahahaha!" Jimbo roared out laughing, getting a small chuckle from everyone there.
"Hehe... My day went alright. I couldn't really find any flea powder though." Delphi Daring muttered the last part to herself as she scratched her shoulders, unknowingly lighting up the fireworks on her tail. "Well, I'm gonna take a dust bath. Tell me when we are all going inside."
Ash nodded as the Braxien walked off to the public dust bath across the stall. They were about to continue talking when they heard explosions and yipping inside the stall.
"Aiiiiie! FIREFIREFIREFIREFIRE- AHHHH!"
A blastoise ran into the stall and used Water Gun to douse any flames in there.
The five stared at the tent in wonder, watching their fellow hopeful stumble out, drenched to the bone.
All they did was wait... and wait.. and wait... and...
Ash Chapter 5 end...
References:
1. Gummy beard - Gummy teddiursas
2. Candy
3. More candy
4. So much more candy that a snorlax could have diabetes in one bite
5. The Simply Stupid custom of making men and women perverts to a high degree since the whole series' foundation is shitpost crackfics and randomized context. For some reason, I kept putting in at least one female super pervert, imbalancing the 'equality' needed.
Examples:
MM:DM: Splash Woman
SS:RP: Poppy Pipopao/Asuna Karino
SS:KK?: N/A
SS:SBRangers: Oriokebom/Pretty Bomber (kinda)
SS:MD: N/A since Tempest [an OC] is just super clingy Peacekeeper Knight
SS:KiT: N/A
MM:DM S2: Look at examples 1 and 4, Momobom/Pink Bomber, who does it solely for s#!ts and giggles after turning 13, and Zhael and Zoniha from Bomberman 64: The Second Attack!.
SS:SS: N/A cuz HOW IN THE WORLD AM I SUPPOSED TO MAKE TRAINS PERVERTED?! That's already full of drugs, alcohol, smoking, and other stuff!
SS:G!: All the examples mixed into one
SS:OT: So... Here's the f4(ked up part. Sonic the Hedgehog's female wisps (Pinwheel, Chewie, and Tial, [all OCs]) flirt and mess with the blue hedgehog for fun
SS:SBRising: N/A? Since Orioke was twelve when the events were happening and that would put me in a government watchlist lol...
SS: Pokémon Misadventures: Watts and Ash: ... You knew this was coming, didn't you?
SS!Bayleef: *sweats nervously* No?
SS!Snivy: *picks up a TF2 Dragon's Fury and trains it on SS!Bayleef while riding on a roller skate...* Bayleef!
SS!Bayleef: Hypocrite! *FSSH!* AIAIAIAIAIAI!
Yeah. Gonna have to wait a little longer to see what to do to fix that or not. Or don't fix what's not broken.
6. I got inspiration from an old textbook talking about how much chocolate a dog can eat based on size. Chocolate isn't good for most small animals no matter the sweet tooth, period. It's like alcohol when high amounts are consumed.
That's all for now, folks!