Right here waiting

Pairing: McRoll

Based on Season 9, episode 12.

Chapter fifteen

Walking in the door later on that afternoon, Catherine was a little nervous knowing that she had to leave again in the morning. There was a huge part of her that didn't want to leave, she wanted to stay right where she was, with Steve and her family, but she knew she had to ride out the year before she could come home where she belonged. Closing the door and locking it behind him, Steve seemed to sense her mind wondering off and he could tell she was worried about having to leave him again.

Moving to her and taking her into his arms, he sighed softly, loving the way she melted into him, and how he could still smell the shampoo she had used on her hair earlier that morning when they showered together, While she had been here, he had been busy finding a gift to give her before she parted to let her know that time would not change a thing, and that he would be here when she got back, only to realise he had the perfect gift already for her, "I know that you are worried things will be different then you come back, but I promise you, that nothing will change Cath".

Standing in the living room, she turned in his arms and gazed up at him, searching his eyes with hers for any signs of him not being totally honest with her, but she found nothing to say he was being anything except truthful. "It's just being here, with you, and with everyone else, it has made me realise just how much I want this with you.. I want a life with you and a family". He smiled earnestly at that, and sighed with relief knowing she wanted that as well, "I want it all with you Catherine and we will have it.. We just have to believe in each other and in us".

Leaning up, moving up a little on her tip toes, she kissed him and moaned softly, closing her eyes to relish the feeling a little longer. "I believe". She whispered into his lips, kissing him more deeply than before, her arms wrapping around his neck as her body pressed in to him. "I love you Catherine", he answered back to her and was surprised just how easily those words came now. He couldn't imagine now a time when he felt he couldn't say those words, or even admit that he and Catherine were a couple. "I love you too Steve".

This is love, he had never felt like this with anyone else before, no other woman could make his heart race this way, or make him feel as safe as he did with her, before with Lynn, he knew in his heart he was settling and that his heart was always going to be with Catherine, she was as he always put it, 'the one that got away'. Hawaii had been good for his soul, and though he wished his Dad was here with him now, he knew it was his father's murder that brought him back home to Hawaii, it was a bittersweet feeling and he hated that he hadn't been there to save his father, or even just been there more for his Dad when he was still alive.

Pulling away from Catherine for a moment to head into the kitchen, he walked towards the fridge and opened it up to pull a wine bottle out, and then he got two wine glasses out. Before he did anything more, he went back towards the fridge and pulled out nibbley type food, cheese and biscuits, grapes, strawberries, some chocolate, and then got some cabanossi, and chopped it up and put the array of food on a platter. "I thought since we had a big lunch that we might just have something light", he said as a way of explanation when he noticed Catherine watching him curiously.

"I think it's a great idea", she answered as she popped open the wine and filled the two glasses, and then followed Steve out to the back yard with the glasses and the rest of the bottle of red wine, watching him set out the blanket on the sand and then moving to sit on it, placing the platter on the blanket in front of him as she sat down next to him, smiling softly. She could sense he was a little down at the thought that she had to leave the next day, and all she could do was reassure him. Putting the glasses on the platter board, she sighed softly and moved to straddle him, sitting in his lap, her arms wrapping around his neck.

"I know you don't want me to go, I don't want to leave either, I promise I will be back Steve". Gazing into his eyes, she needed to be sure he understood that and that they would be okay. Taking a breath, he sighed and nodded, he knew his heart belonged to Catherine and that no one else would ever come close to her. It's why he had given up finding someone because she had always been the one that got away in his mind, and now she was here telling him she would come back as soon as she could. "I know Cath, and I know we have done this a thousand times before, but it never gets easier watching the love of my life leave".

It broke her own heart as well to know that she had to leave again. Steve was the only man she had loved and ever since the moment she first laid eyes on him at the academy all those years ago, she had never stopped loving him, and she knew right here was where she was meant to be, in his loving strong arms. She leaned in closer and kissed him softly, closing her eyes as he kissed back, his arms holding her back, caressing her back with his fingers.

Breaking the kiss, she gazed into his eyes, as she spoke.. "Leaving you has never been easy, it gets harder and harder each time.. Especially now seeing how settled you are on the island living here permanently. I want more than anything to be here settled with you, making a life with you and I promise, we will do all of that and more, just please, trust me when I say I'm coming home to you".

It wasn't going to be easy for either of them but they had done it before and they knew they could do it again.. Watching the woman of his dreams vow to come home and make that promise to him, there was always that fear of feeling what if it doesn't happen, but he couldn't let that emotion get to him. Feeling scared wasn't going to help in this moment, and he needed to be positive.. Even he had never seen Catherine again, he knew he would never have been able to settle with anyone else, and it would have been settling.

"I won't lie Cath, there is still that feeling deep the pit of my gut that worries about the future, just because I know how we both are with our career, our career has always come first and that never bothered me before, but before when we both were always on active duty in the Navy, we were never as permanent as we got when I moved here". Nodding her head, she could understand why he was concerned and she just let him get this to, knowing he needed to say it. "However worried or stressed out I get about it though, I won't let that get in the way of being able to focus on us and how I need to trust you.. It's only a year and then we can start our lives together".

Smiling softly, she leaned in closer to him and kissed his lips lovingly, "It's always been you and only you Sailor.. and nothing will change that at all.. and there is nothing that will keep me from being with you when I'm done with the CIA. I know I haven't given you any reason to trust me after what happened when I left after Kono's wedding but I appreciate you making the effort to trust me and to see how much I've grown since then".

Hearing and then seeing Grace in the hospital after her car accident, she worried that all of this wouldn't be here for her when she got home, and that the friends she had made through Steve wouldn't want to be around her as well, and she knew that his friends especially Danny and Lou who had known her a while now as well, Danny being the longest apart from Steve was going to be a hard sell to get him too believe that this was it this time. She missed being around her Ohana and it was a different dynamic now that Chin and Kono had left as well, but she really wanted to get those friendships back as well.

"We've been through a lot together Catherine and I realised a long time ago that I only make sense to myself when you are here with me.. I think Danny put it best, I'm my best version when you are here and though I tried to move on with Lynn, there was something missing.. I just didn't feel I could be myself around her.. She never quite understood what drives me, and why I wake up in the middle of the night sometimes covered in sweat from a nightmare". Nobody would understand him the way Catherine did simply because she had been there with him, she had been through similar experiences. Though she hadn't been able to be a SEAL as it was men only, she still had her own demons to deal with in relation to serving her country.

"You always seemed to chase those nightmares aware, and make it better.. There were times you would wordlessly just hold me and whisper in my ear that you were here and It wasn't my fault till I fell asleep again whereas she always wanted to talk about it, and when I wouldn't volunteer any information about my PTSD and the nightmares I had, she took it personally that I wasn't ready or willing to disclose that". At that Catherine nodded her head, while she had never really seriously dated anyone else, she did have that same situation with other people, not just men who wanted to date her but even just new friends that just didn't understand and wouldn't respect her boundaries.

"I'll always be there to chase the nightmares away Steve.. Even if you need to call me at two or three in the morning, I'll always answer and be there for you". At that statement, Steve held her closer, letting his head move towards her neck and just scenting her, loving how she felt in his arms, and how she never let her emotions cloud her judgement. If that was Lynn and Steve had been talking about Catherine, you can bet that Lynn would have come back with something nasty about Catherine but when it was reversed, Catherine didn't say anything at all about Lynn. It showed that Catherine respected most people and even if she didn't like Lynn, she would never say anything bad about her.

He knew she was a little apprehensive about leaving in case he got back with Lynn, but he had reassured her a few times now he wouldn't be going back to Lynn or getting involved with anyone else. He only had eyes for her and his heart would never be stolen away from Catherine either. No woman could ever compare to the woman sitting with him now. "How about we make plans to meet up during the year? I could always make it to Washington or wherever you are in the states at the time, even if I have to travel overseas"

For her, he would do anything and she smiled at that, and nodded her head, "I'd really like that Sailor", she whispered in a low voice, listening to the ocean waves and the stillness of the air, feeling the way he was breathing against her.

The sun was beginning to set along the water and they sat together watching it, and for one more night, they pretended they had all the time in the world to show each other how much they loved the other, and for one more night, he was going to hold onto her for as long as he could and make love to her, taking his time to memorise every single inch of her body, mapping out soft smooth skin with his lips, desperate for everlasting memories to hold him over for a year while he waited for her.

Author Notes.

Thank you all for your continued support, and for reading my stories. I am sorry I have been absent from writing for a while, it has just been extremely busy here, we are in lock down and for me that means business as usual as I am considered an essential worker, working in a contact centre for my state government and I was also participating in step up for breast cancer in August so it was a busy month for me, so I just haven't had as much time to write lately but I am trying to get some more updated as much as I can. I have my first covid vaccine on Sunday so i will try to write some more on Saturday in case I am feeling off on Sunday.

SteveMcGarrettLover:

Thank you so much, I really think that Catherine upset the rest of the team as well when she left, not just on Steve's behalf but because she meant a lot to them as well, and essentially the only one she even said goodbye to was Steve, not the rest of them. I hope you like this chapter, I think it's a nice good chat again between Steve and Catherine and maybe next chapter I will go more into detail about the love scene described a tiny bit at the end.

Aloha50:

Thank you so much. I am glad I am not the only one who thinks that Mary, Joan, Doris Joe and Catherine should have been there when Steve got shot and had to have a liver transplant. It was a huge thing so I think I will try to get that one done next. I nearly forgot about that till I was re-reading your review, but that would be a good companion piece, that someone gets a hold of maybe Mary and then Mary gets onto Catherine who then gets onto Joe, and so on.