It had been an attempt at a logical decision, there was no secret that Sam needed to have some sort of closure with Lucifer and his vessel. The vessels whose face had been used time and time again when Lucifer had tormented him inside of the cage and outside.
Dean was barely able to control him and hold him back when Nick had come into the bunker, he had placate him with a promise that once it was done, once they were finished with Nick once and for all, he could have his slight revenge.
A part of him knew that it wasn't right, that Nick wasn't Lucifer despite how much he was trying to become the former.
But at the same time he knew that Nick had taken the jump from humanity, had taken the plunge and he needed to be stopped before he killed more people, or worse, brought back Lucifer into existence.
And Sam wanted to have that bit of closure as well, he wanted to finally have a chance to close the book and put it onto the shelf for the rest of eternity. Lucifer was a done deal, or at least they thought that he was.
So yes, he wanted Nick to be dead, he wanted this chapter in his life to finally finish, he wanted to find the end of this story that had gone on for too long.
Mom and Dean had gone together with Nick to save Donatello while he and Jack had remained behind. It was an easy decision to keep him and Nick apart for the time that they needed him.
But Dean had promised him in hushed tones and whispers that once they were done, once Donatello was saved and Nick had outlived his uses Sam could come and end it. He would be the one to put a bullet in Nicks head and finally, ultimately, absolutely end Nick, end Lucifer, and have some sort of closure in his life.
But of course, nothing went to plan. Nothing was at it was supposed to be. Dean had gone to save Donatello, leaving mom with Nick in the car to watch over him. Nick had managed to slip clear, attacking their mom to do so.
But Jack managed to be able to locate him, managed to figure out where Nick had gone and what he was actually trying to do. He was trying to bring back Lucifer and Sam had to fight the urge to throw up.
He was fighting the urge to throw up again as he watched the burnt and destroyed remains of Nick on the ground, his screams still filling the air.
Jack had disappeared, he had answered Deans call and had gone to help him and mom, leaving him behind for the time being with the charred remains of what used to be a human being.
The smell of burned human flesh was clear in the air and Sam was a bit concerned about himself when he didn't even react to it, he actually managed to differentiate the scent from how different it was compared to when they burned monsters.
Nick needed to die, he had needed to be put down. He had put himself on a road that he refused to budge from and would do anything he needed to get to his finish line, regardless of who got hurt.
Sam had actually been hoping to be the one to do it. In his wildest fantasies that he rarely let himself have he always had been the one to kill Lucifer-Nick, had managed to avenge himself.
But not like this.
When he did think about it, he never let himself drift down to torture, he never let himself think about hurting Lucifer in anyway that he had done to him. It was a slippery slope that he had no desire to go down and he knew that if he was going to get revenge, it would have to be fast and straight to the point. When he thought about it, it was always quick.
A bullet to the head. A clean neck break. A stab through the heart. Something clean, something quick, and something to end everything.
Closing his eyes Sam breathed out through his mouth and walked away, taking the somewhat stained table cloth off of the table and carefully draped it over Nicks destroyed body.
He didn't have any words to say, there was nothing he could say or wanted to say. He just covered him completely with the cloth and stepped back, fingers twitching slightly.
He didn't turn away even when he heard the telltale sound of wings flapping and he could feel Jack had come back into the room.
"I took care of Mary, she's going to be okay." Jack said, obviously pleased with himself, it was clear in his voice.
"Good." Sam said, trying to find the right words to say, or what he could even do. If this was what he thought it was, and remembering how Jack had been and staring down at the lump on the ground, it wasn't going to be good.
Jack didn't say anything but then he came closer to him. "Sam?" he asked, a curious tone in his voice. "Did I do something wrong?"
Sam took a deep breath, rolling his shoulders back. "Why did you kill him like this?" he asked.
"Because...he deserved it. He did bad things and he was trying to bring Lucifer back to life, that's...not good." Jack said and it almost sounded like he was reading lines off of a script. "It was the right thing to do."
"No it wasn't." Sam said, closing his eyes and shaking his head. "Jack, I need you to be honest with me now, no more lying." he turned to the nephilim and noted how pale the kid was suddenly looking. "Do you have your soul?"
Jack fidgeted in place, rubbing the back of his neck and looking away. "That's...not important Sam." he said an uncomfortable tone to his voice.
"Yes it is." Sam said, his voice was soft yet firm, not letting Jack evade anymore. He and Dean had trusted in him to tell them if something had been wrong, if he was feeling different, and he hadn't and now...this is what they had to deal with. "Do you have your soul?"
Jack didn't answer and that was more than enough of an answer.
Sam breathed in deeply, trying to remain calm. "You should've told us."
"I'm fine." Jack insisted, starting to move around the room restlessly. "I'm fine Sam."
"No, you're not." Sam told him firmly, going to him and reaching for his arm. "You never would've done this before when you had a soul."
"It doesn't matter what I would've done, that's not me anymore!" Jack exclaimed. "This is me! I don't have a soul anymore so this is me and this," he gestured wildly towards the mess of Nick's body. "This is what you would've done. It's what you wanted."
"No it's not." Sam told him, watching him deflate. "I wanted him dead, I'm not going to deny it. But I didn't want him to suffer like this."
"But why not!" Jack all but shouted at him. "He hurt you! He hurt everyone around him! He deserved it."
"No he didn't." Sam shot back at him. "I wanted to kill him fast and simple, a gunshot to the head. This, what you did, separates us from them. We don't prolong a death, we don't hurt people like this. This...this is not what a good person does Jack."
Jacks face paled and his breathing started to quicken before he suddenly turned and started out of the cabin.
Sam didn't hesitate to go after him, following close behind him. "Jack, stop."
"No. No because I'm supposed to be good, I'm supposed to be the good one, like you." Jack said, picking up the pace. "And if I'm not good that means that I'm bad and if I'm bad then that means that I can't be near you."
"It doesn't mean any of that, stop." Sam said, hurrying to catch up with him. "Jack please stop."
"I can't. I can't be bad. I can't be bad." Jack was mumbling under his breath, the smell of ozone filling the air. "I can't be. I don't want to be bad. I don't want to be bad. I wanted to be like you."
"Jack please! Stop!" Sam called out, finally reaching him and grabbing his arm. "Listen to me!"
Jack wrenched himself free, stepping backwards away from Sam with gold starting to color over the edges of his eyes. "If I'm bad I can't be near you, get away! You need to get away!"
"I'm not going anywhere." Sam told him firmly, reaching out to place his hands on Jacks shoulders. "Jack please, listen to me."
Jack brought both his hands up towards Sam, the scent of fire surrounding them for a moment and at that moment, Sam couldn't breathe.
"You need to get away!"
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