"Ben?" Ellie's voice was so quiet as she talked to him. "Tell me something more about who you were before you came here?"
She was so terribly weak now. That was all too clear as she struggled so much just to hold herself up, sitting on the fur rug of the sitting room. And she shivered hard, even as she yanked her blanket around her body. She'd been crying again – loudly as the night before and twice as heartbreaking given the obvious pain behind her tears this time. And Ben was oddly thankful for his continued – and seemingly still worsening insomnia that night. Because his wakefulness in the middle of another night had allowed him to come to her aid and at least try his best to be useful again.
Her tears were little more than than the odd gasp now. And she whimpered a little with each tiny movement she made, clearly trying without any real success to find a comfortable position on the floor while still doing her best to remain sitting, But she looked up, hopeful, begging with her eyes as she asked her question.
"I'm hardly the most interesting person in this place," Ben muttered, uneasy and doubt-filled as he watched her for a moment – looking like she would lose her seated balance any second and fall painfully to the floor in a crumpled helpless heap.
With a sigh and far more doubt than ever, he pulled her against him gently, holding her firmly as he moved her slowly so that she could lay down on the soft fur rug, her head resting on a cushion taken hurriedly from the closest chair in reach behind him. She cried loudly into his cloth shirt as he moved her, regardless of his care in doing so slowly. But she smiled again, through a new stream of threatening tears that filled her eyes when he let go of her again.
"Everyone has a story, Ben," she mumbled. Her body relaxed a little on the fur rug underneath her. And a grateful expression filled her eyes, slowly replacing the tears, as she lay still idly holding one of his shirtsleeves in her hand. "Everyone was somebody... somewhere..."
Indeed everyone there was certainly someone. Ben had surely heard as many stories from their lives as Ellie had in the time they'd both been among the little tribe. Vinny with time spent in the trenches of the first world war, fighting for a cause he'd never fully understood... Linh, rescued from Vietnam as Saigon city fell... Leon – camera and microphone in hand, running through a German street strewn with rubble, trying for just one reel of world-changing footage as around him cheering people tore pieces from the Berlin wall. Ben could make so little sense of much of it all – to him, it was all clearly some future he could barely begin to comprehend. But it was Ellie's distant history. And as much as even trying to fully comprehend that fact made Ben's head spin, he knew how much she loved the stories all the same.
Johnny had begun to speak up a little too, during the increasingly frequent talk of pasts among their tribe-mates. And though he still barely recalled more than flashes here and there – though he was so young he'd surely done so little in his life regardless – he did his best to share a little here and there. Ben however had always just been silent. And in his own mind, he was almost convinced that everyone else's lives were simply far more interesting than his had been.
"You've already heard about my life, Ellie," he told her, laughing a little, when she continued to beg, with her still pleading eyes and a weak silent smile.
"The house.. the town, your family. But what about you?" she asked. And her voice held a hint of a playful and childlike tone now, as her eyes half-closed and she sighed a little.
"I did things I'm certainly not proud of, given hindsight," Ben said. And he paused for a moment, just allowing himself the relief of semi-detachment from a life that barely felt, at least at that moment, like it had ever truly been his own.
"I guess you could try to blame it on fallin' in with the wrong kind of people while I was too young to know any better. You could blame it on Sarah's death and how I blamed myself since the day I'd seen her drown. Or you could blame my father... who by then, spent most of his days either passed out drunk in public with his whiskey bottle dumped into the street or locked in the sheriff's jail cell for starting a fistfight somewhere in town. Still, I know that's all hardly an excuse for being downright awful." Ben sighed then because as much as he'd wished not so long before, that he could only recall something – anything at all – or a life outside of that strange and terrible place that was his home now, that life he now remembered well enough only filled him with endless regrets.
"You weren't awful, Ben," Ellie mumbled. Her hand still held his shirtsleeve, even as she appeared closer to nearing sleep on the fur rug. And she smiled again. "You... you couldn't have been..."
"I had my first run-in with the law at fifteen," Ben replied. He tugged gently on her hide blanket, trying to cover her up under it again while she lay still, on the rug. And he gasped when it moved it away from her body, at the blood he saw in the light from the fireplace, splattered in drops over the front of her cloth shirt. He forced away his shocked reaction quickly, tossed the blanket over her, and continued speaking. "Caught stealing horses early one morning from outside the local hotel. There were four of us involved, but the others were able to run while I tripped and fell down the front steps like a clumsy idiot. Of course, the others were happy enough to pin the whole thing on me."
"You'd think maybe I'd learned my lesson then and there. Sheriff didn't like me much, 'cause of who my father was. And it might have made good sense to keep my head down and not give him a reason to like me less. But good sense is not something I was ever gifted with, and it wasn't long until I tried it again, this time on my own without my so-called friends. I might have gotten away with it too if the horse hadn't belonged to the sheriff's own son... Of course, that only landed me back in that cell, trading insults with my father who sat in the other one across the hall." Ben shook his head as he talked, relieved when Ellie didn't look utterly horrified. And slowly he just continued on. "That could've been another chance to get it right, yeah. prob'ly should have been if I'd been just a little smarter. But I decided instead while in that jail cell that I didn't want to be just some petty horse thief, and instead, I wanted to go bigger. I bought my first pistol on the day I was let loose... by the time I was eighteen I was robbing people in the streets. One day I decided I may as well just rob the damn train because it seemed like a challenge. No one died as far as I later heard, but bullets were certainly fired... And the judge was quick to promise I'd hang for it..."
She was asleep on the floor of the sitting room when Ben had finished speaking. So instead of saying anything more, he just sat with her just like the night before – watching her intently while she slept. He thought idle thoughts for a while, sighing as he moved to stir the fire, careful not to wake her with his moving around. And he gently checked again on the blood that he'd seen on her shirt, horrified all over again to see he hadn't imagined it, but relieved when at least it didn't look worse.
"Ben?" The voice, speaking from the doorway of the sitting room startled him enough that he gasped out loud in fright. He turned quickly to see Stella, watching him from the doorway, a look of apology on her face. He moved to get to his feet, as quickly as he may have needed to. But Stella only motioned with her hand to stay where he was, as she crossed the room and sat down nearby on the floor herself.
"Stella... she's..." Ben gestured toward Ellie and didn't even try to hide the panicked urgency in his voice as he snatched up Ellie's blanket as gently as he could "Her clothing. Her... shirt..."
Stella, to his surprise – not to mention his relief – just nodded slowly without a hint of any serious concern on her face. She pulled the blanket free of Ben's hands and tossed it back over Ellie as gently as she could before she tucked it in loosely under her body at the edges.
"She's likely bleeding through her wrappings again a little bit," she muttered, her tone thoughtful. "It's not the first time. I should pull them off and change them. But I'd feel so bad subjecting her to that again since it's only going to be a day or so now anyway..."
That sad little glimpse further into the extent of Ellie's suffering had surely been unintentional on Stella's part. But it made Ben sigh with sadness all the same while he watched his friend sleeping – thankfully oblivious.
"Stella...?" Ellie mumbled, half awake again – presumably from the sounds of continued conversation. She looked up at the older woman, her expression suddenly fearful as she questioned quietly and shaky, "Is everything alright?"
"Everything's fine, dear," Stella answered at once, calm as ever as she did so. "I came down here to check up on you when I didn't find you sleeping in your bunk is all."
Ben watched her carefully as she dug through her bag, which she seldom seemed to ever be without, tied to her belt. Her fingers fumbled for just a second with pouches of something or other, before she pulled out a small container of light bluish-tinged liquid. And he saw her hold that gently to Ellie's mouth, urging her to drink from it with a confidant assuring smile.
"Drink this up my dear," she said, so easily. "Maybe you can sleep a while longer than yesterday, and not wake up in terrible pain."
"...Kay..." Ellie's mumbled reply was simple, accepting, and clearly thankful as she drifted off almost at once back to sleep again on the fluffy sitting room rug that she was still so oddly most comfortable resting on.
"Ben..." Stella's tone was cautious and hesitant for a second before she stopped speaking entirely to think for a moment. Finally, she stood up slowly from the floor, clearly trying her best not to wake Ellie. "Walk with me for a moment."
Ben followed Stella out of the room – willing to leave Ellie only because she hadn't woken when he'd moved. And he was surprised as he did so to find tribe members – or at least a few of them – awake already and going easily about their days. He smelled meat and eggs – possibly potatoes too - cooking away in the dining room as they walked down the hall. And despite the unease which slowly grew in his mind, he found himself suddenly beginning to feel hungry at the wonderful smell.
He followed Stella outside, as she wandered out the back door of the main building. And when, to his dismay, she descending the steps, to sit down at the little table close to the animal pen, he followed her that far too, sitting down across from her at the table, sighing again as he followed her gaze – at nothing of much interest – out across the glowing blue lake further below them.
"I see that triceratops is still down there," Stella muttered, gesturing with a waving hand toward the mentioned creature, who sure enough stood eating from a mejoberry bush beside the lake. "Perhaps someone ought to try to tame and train him. They're usually great at carrying loads... they can pull a wood cart..."
"I didn't think you ever had much interest in the local wildlife," Ben observed slowly. And Stella laughed a little in reply.
"I certainly did once, back in the day," she mused. "Though it's certainly been a while, and I've found my true place here since then... We used to shoot at creatures from up here, right at the top of the ledge." She gestured toward the ledge she was talking about, to her right and a short way up the path toward the river above. "Great way to hunt them for food of course. But just as often we were firing tranquilizer ammo at creatures who couldn't work out where we were shooting at them from... I'd bet you had no idea I know how to fire a weapon..."
"Why did you bring me out here?" Ben asked her, changing the subject abruptly. He watched as the triceratops they'd been observing wandered a short way up the path to browse on another of the bushes that lined the edge. It pawed at the dirt with a heavy flat foot and finally used its long and deadly horn at the front of its head to upturn the bush from the soil entirely. And he watched as Stella sighed and leaned back a little in her chair.
"I didn't mean to overhear," she said slowly. "I know I wasn't supposed to. But that story you told to Ellie..." she sighed thoughtfully and smiled a little.
"I know it doesn't really matter anymore," Ben muttered back. "I know that life is long gone now... that others here have pasts too. How can anyone else not? And anyway I've certainly heard some stories that prove that entirely. Still... it's hard sometimes, as I remember more and more of everything I used to be in that life, to be okay with it."
"You're a good person," Stella said. She reached across the table to rest a hand over Ben's lightly. And she smiled again with her usual assurance. "Never forget that for a second. And it doesn't matter that you made mistakes in some life before you washed up here because frankly the deck was well stacked against you from the start it seems. I've seen your compassion for people in this place. You saved Frank's life, jumping into the lake without even knowing who he was. And I know bloody well you'd surely fight off a whole pack of wild raptors with only a wooden spear to save Ellie's if it came to it."
"I would damn well do my best," Ben answered, without a need to even consider. He let himself chuckle just a little, at the near absurdity of that situation - before an image of Ellie in her blood-spattered shirt flashed across his mind. His face fell at once, and he lowered his head, staring at the ground to hide the tears in his eyes.
"Do suppose she might actually survive and be alright?" he asked, hesitantly and dreading the answer "I mean... she's made it this far when I know it was always unlikely..." He looked up again, only to see Stella's doubtful, serious, and sad expression.
"You know I can't even come close to promising anything," she said, sighing.
Ben studied her face then, intently and looking for any hint of unspoken confidence. His heart fell fast when he saw none. He watched the triceratops again, as it rooted around in the hole it had made by uprooting the bush, and watched it claim its prize of fresh tender roots, which it munched on still oblivious to being watched. He let himself smile a little, amused, even as a pressing thought began to gnaw at him so urgently. In only seconds though, he wasn't smiling anymore, as the thought became a pressing dread.
"I fear that maybe... I wonder if..." he muttered, trying hard to put his fear into words. And when it couldn't Stella just smiled, patient as ever and watching him intently.
"What do you fear, Ben?" she asked when after another long moment he had only mumbled near nonsense again.
"Brendan was around here for so much longer than Ellie," Ben said, managing to explain, however slowly. "They say he did most of the work building this base. I barely got to know the man... only talked to him a couple of times ever. But he was a decent human being. Plus, he was one of Jessie's best friends..." Ben sighed, and looked around again, anxious and watching the dinosaur down the path again and as muttered. "I think it stands to reason that maybe..."
"That maybe it's truly possible, people wish Ellie had been the one to die instead?" Stella guessed, so clearly understanding the logic at once. Ben just nodded, serious and sad, and instantly regretful over even thinking such a thing. Still, he couldn't rid himself of the thoughts regardless.
"I just can't stand to think she could be that horribly resented," he said slowly. He saw Stella smile again, confidant as she shook her head slowly.
"Not a single person here resents Ellie of all people," she said, assured and appearing to entirely mean it. "I'd hear about it quickly if anyone did. I think you know just as well as I do, how much everyone here loves her. And remember Ben, Ellie lost a friend too, just the same as so many others did."
"Good morning!" the cheerful greeting – in such stark contrast to the serious mood of the moment – caught Ben of guard entirely. And he turned, right along with Stella, surprised to see a man, a stranger who he'd never met before, in simple clothing with a think hide coat fastened tight around his large body and a metal tipped pike tied to his heavy backpack. He wore a smile on his face, and stood so easily with his hands at his sides – clearly easy going and even boisterous, despite every bit of his otherwise intimating appearance.
Beside him was a woman – much younger than himself, and smiling shyly as she glanced around with mild curiosity. She carried her own pack, and slightly shorter pike, as well as a bow. And her hands toyed with the buttons of her little radio, which buzzed and hissed uselessly even as she turned it just a little first one way then another obviously searching for a signal.
"Visitors from the Red Piranhas," Stella explained quietly and quickly. But it was obvious from the tone of her voice that she had certainly not been expecting them of all people that morning. "Lavinia's runners I believe..."
"Morning!" she called out, louder, returning the visitor's greeting as she stood up from her chair. Ben followed suit, standing up himself out of politeness.
"Jessie should be in the dining room, I would think," Stella said, speaking to the pair of red Piranhas, as she waved a hand toward the building. "I would assume you came looking for him..."
"He's gone to the animal pen," the man answered. And Stella immediately gave him a surprised look, as he explained quickly, "he's gone to fetch a mount, and one for yourself as well. Lavinia sent us to ask for you both..."
"You can't possibly be serious!" Stella's expression turned from surprise to the closest thing to utter fury that Ban had ever seen from her in an instant. She stood, waving her hands about as she ranted in frustration. "What business could Lavinia ever have with me. Let alone business that can't simply be taken care of over the radios?"
"We're... not sure exactly. And she didn't say..." It was the young woman that spoke up now, hesitant and appearing to consider every word perhaps a bit too much. "But.. if it's about what I think it may be, you may just be glad you were called on..."
Stella, quite predictably, just huffed under her breath, shook her head, and sighed, still far from pleased.
"So that fool eventually came stumbling into the dining room, drunker than he was earlier in the night... still half naked and didn't appear to notice or care less about the fact. Of course, there's at least twenty of us in there, including maybe ten women. And Tessa here..." Ivan waved toward his tribe-mate, riding beside him on her megalosaur – quiet as she always seemed to be, and looking at the path ahead while he laughed loudly. "Quiet proper girl she is... looks up without even batting an eye over the entire thing, and blurts out right out of nowhere 'Jim, put some damn pants on!"
Jessie – riding behind the pair of Red Piranhas runners, on his trusted ravager – found the ridiculous story far less funny than the other man so clearly seemed to. But she chuckled a little, because of the man's continued laughter over it regardless.
Stella however was far from even smiling over anything. He watched her for a moment, riding beside him on her own ravager mount, her body tense in the saddle and her hands holding too tightly to the reins.
"Whatever Lavinia is calling on you for, it surely can't be terrible," Jessie said, looking her in the eyes. He smiled in what he could only hope looked like any real confidence and wasn't surprised when she only frowned back in return. "Probably someone in need of medical attention..."
"Lavinia's tribe is at least three times as big as ours," Stella grumbled back in reply, as her ravager trotted forward at its well trained and steady pace. "Surely at least one of them has the background to handle such things themselves..."
Stella surely wasn't wrong. And Jessie told her so with a silent smile in her direction as she rode beside him on the trail that closely followed the river. She appeared to ignore the look entirely – staring at her hands as they held just as they held the ravager's reins, and so clearly meaning only to hide a kind of unease that surely grew worse with each passing landmark.
Stella would never be the adventurer he was. And Jessie full well knew that. Aside from her regular trips to the top of the path up from their home near the lake, to forge for her medicines among the bushes and ground cover out towards the river, she had been all of nowhere in at least a couple of years already. And for as much as the very notion of such home-bound isolation drove Jessie to the point of anxiety, he knew that Stella was happiest that way. He saw now, in her wide and overly vigilant eyes which darted around as she looked up again, just how badly the wider world terrified her. And in that instant, he felt truly bad for his earlier attempts to convince her to explore it with him.
"This route is known to be quite safe as a rule," he said, hoping to assure her, and disheartened when that appeared to fail at once with a shake of her head.
"It's more than that," Stella said, looking at him now as she rode. She sighed with her unease and further tightened her hold on the reins – which clearly confused the ravager regardless of his training. Because he stalled in his steps, hurried forward, and then slowed before another tiny pause, leading into a steady but hesitant slow trot.
"Frank's need for care is never-ending. On a bad day, he'll just sit still for hours and not even drink water if no one tells him to... Or if he does stand up he'll just wander off. Then of course there's Ellie. Anything could happen now..."
"How is Ellie?" Tessa questioned, quietly.
She'd had been nearly silent for the entire trip so far. But suddenly she looked up with interest and obvious concern at the mention of the girl who she'd met once before. She looked away again, just as fast as she'd looked back, and watched the path intently. But not before she shuddered once, clearly uneasy and disturbed.
"She's... not well I'm afraid," Stella's answer was honest. And she shook her head a little as the group rode on. "This morning she looked so much worse than ever. And I think everyone but Ellie herself knows that without me needing to tell any one of them."
The young woman nodded understanding, along with a sad accompanying sigh.
The small group left the river's edge a moment later. And they traveled a short way into the brush, on a narrow pathway that was nearly overgrown in places with thick hazardous roots and dangling vines. And when the path forked, somewhere up ahead, they took the left path – one that led up around the cliffs that now rose up beside them and high overhead, and right toward the Red Piranhas' base on the cliff tops.
"Just a bit further up from here," Ivan said, looking behind him as he spoke. And he clearly explained it for Stella's benefit mostly. Because she nodded – her relief more than clear on her face as she rode on with the group.
Her relief was so clearly much greater still, after they'd made it in through the gate – opened this time without incident by a man so clearly more interested in his flirting with a pair giggling young women, than in a fight. Jessie didn't mention anything about his less than welcoming reception the last time he'd been lead inside the gates. And he was glad, for Stella's sake, when his guides took the clear hint and said nothing either. To his surprise though, one of the giggling women, her face and demeanor suddenly serious, hurried toward them.
"Fellow me inside," she said, smiling and cheerful as the other young woman took the reins of their ravagers as soon as they had dismounted. She waved in their direction as they were led away.
"They'll get a feed of fresh meat and wait for you," she explained easily of the ravagers before she began to walk quickly toward the door at the top of a short set of stone steps. And Jessie, catching up to her quickly with Stella still nervous beside him, resisted a pressing urge to protest any messing with their mounts.
He might have asked questions they were led up a steep staircase inside the needlessly dimly lit stone building. And he certainly would have objected loudly to the entire trip when he saw just how much the walk was making Stella as uneasy as the ride halfway across their world had done – she looked around her in every direction at once, her head turning rapidly, while her steps were slow and hesitant.
"I'd almost expected human heads mounted on pikes," Stella said – her voice a low whisper that was a bit too close to fully serious.
The young woman in front of them stopped at door at the end of a narrow hallway, and quickly shoved it open, waving them inside, before she simply turned to walk away.
"Please, come in, both of you." Lavinia's voice was instantly recognizable from inside the room. And Jessie, unsure what else to do then, took Stella gently by the arm to lead her inside while he shook his head, and fought back his need to snap at his counterpart for her summons in the first place. Not so much for himself – dealing with her just as much as any of the most demanding of people in the place, was a thing he considered to have come with his position – but for Stella, who he'd promised he would never force to travel far against her will.
"Jessie...!" Stella's gasp of complete shock as she addressed him in a whisper made him pause in mid-step. And he looked into the room, in the direction she was staring opened mouthed, only to choke back a muttered noise of surprise himself.
Lavinia sat still, her chair turned away from a low table in the little room. But it was the small child she held on her lap that caught their attention at once. A boy, Jessie guessed – though admittedly he couldn't have been fully sure – who lay curled up on her knees, head resting on her arm and looking around a little with eyes half-closed.
"Yours?" Jessie muttered the question, even as doubt – and a hundred questions - whirled through his mind as he stood looking down at the child.
It was a tactless thing to ask outright and he knew it. But in his confusion and absolute, utter disbelief, the one-word question had simply dropped from his mouth before he could think. He asked himself, with no hope of understanding any answer, how the child's existence could be explained at all. He'd never seen one before in a decade and a half in that place. And that was plenty long enough by then for him to have so easily assumed that no one who washed up in that strange world of theirs could ever reproduce.
But someone had. Or at least he assumed so. A tiny young child could not have washed up from... somewhere else. Or could he? Surely, Jessie reasoned with a shake of his head, no kid that young would stand a chance that way. He took as close a look as he dared to before his unease made him look around the room instead. And he guessed that the child could have been no more than five years old. He asked himself then – again not expecting he'd ever truly have an answer – if that helpless little one was what Lavinia had been protecting for years already, behind intimidation and her well-known hostility to outsiders.
"He is not mine, no." Lavinia's answer – and the rare hint of a laugh that went along with it – made Jessie look back at her again.
"This is my godson," Lavinia explained, looking down at the child as he drank slowly from a water jar she held out to him, urging him silently to drink from. "His name is Sebastian. The child of my lead patrolman and his young wife. I've certainly had a close hand in raising the boy in this dangerous world, however. And I swear for all it's worth, if anything were to ever happen to this child, anyone responsible for it would live out their final days regretting their actions."
"Hello there," Jessie said to the boy. And he realized as he did so that he just barely remembered at all how to speak to a child that young. "Aren't you just a promising young man!"
The boy, to his confusion and dismay, just still, looking up at him with anything but comprehension on his face. Finally, he turned his head just a little, to look up at his godmother with the questioning eyes of children anywhere.
"I'm sorry..." Lavinia said, seeming only then to fully grasp the situation herself as she lifted Sebastian into her lap and smiled assurance at him. "He doesn't speak or understand your language."
Jessie looked over at Stella after a second in which he'd stood still, his confusion quickly turning to a kind of strange fear at his lack of comprehension. And he saw her looking down at her left wrist intently... at the metal implant that she, like anyone in that place had had upon arrival. He understood at once and began to shake his head in the dismaying realization of his own oversight, at the very moment he understood her reasoning. It had never occurred to him, in all his years of dealing with the usually furious and insufferable woman, that Lavinia spoke some other language because he'd only ever heard it as his own. And that was true of anyone. He remembered he'd questioned that fact once years ago – wondering in the early days how a hundred people who were clearly from every time and place he could (or couldn't) imagine, could instantly begin to converse so perfectly while they all worked together in that place. But he'd soon enough stopped such wondering, to live his life instead with a general odd acceptance that that was just the way things worked there.
He looked down at the boy's tiny arm when he saw that Stella was already doing exactly that herself. And it quickly made complete sense to him that the boy – having been born in the place that others were simply thrown into did not, and logically would never, have a wrist implant to help him along in that world where he would struggle so hard just to understand a hundred languages.
"He speaks three already," Lavinia said, and the boy smiled just a little because he could obviously understand her just fine even if Jessie's native English still meant all of nothing to him. "And he can express himself so well in all of them, considering he's barely seven years your old. He's so incredibly smart. He's learning so fast. There's nothing he won't try to figure out. He's always had a thousand questions... he knows the name of every creature in this place..." She stopped speaking abruptly – her face so suddenly despairing as she looked back down at the boy in her lap.
"He is not well," Stella observed, bluntly. And already she was moving closer to them, her eyes on the young one and a calm smile of assurance on her face.
"No, he isn't," Lavinia confirmed. Se looked up for a moment with a strange look in her eyes. Desperation? Hopelessness?
"He's been sick for half his life at least. And it's only getting worse now by the day," she explained quickly. "The near barbarian of a man that serves as our main healer, has tried to look him over several times already. But that man terrifies the poor boy... and he knows nothing beyond treating injures regardless."
"May I...?" Stella muttered, reaching out to pick the child up. And Lavinia just nodded, her eyes instantly turning to grateful.
"Auntie Lavinia?" the young one questioned, his tiny voice fearful as Stella lifted him into her arms. But he settled again almost at once, as she sat down with him in the closest available chair, appearing to trust in Stella's kindness.
"He is... small for his age," Stella muttered thoughtfully. She sat in her chair, smiling now and then down at the child. And her smile grew instantly brighter when he finally smiled back, shyly.
She lifted one of the kid's arms gently out beside him, and let it easily drop before she repeated the same with the other one. She managed then – despite the language barrier and the kid's fully understandable nervousness – to make him hold her fingertips, then to pull and push against her hands with his own far smaller ones. She tried to rock him back and forth then, just a little, while she held him by his shoulders. But his head fell against her arm – the poor kid lacking any real strength to fully hold himself up. And so she gave up on that at once, to instead sit looking far less hopeful for a moment.
The door opened again in the next second. And a young woman entered – a blue-dyed bundle held loosely in her arms and nervous uncertainly clear in a pair of tired brown eyes. She set the bundle down, on the unused chair nearest the door and looked at her tribe leader urgently.
"I brought some more water," she said. "And I grabbed his blanket too. I know he's been too warm, but still... he loves his..."
"You are the little one's mother?" Stella asked her, not wasting a second as the young woman just nodded.
"He's been so tired for weeks already," she said, fretful and uneasy. "He's never been well exactly. But it was never quite like this. And this morning I could barely even wake him..." The young woman looked Stella in the eyes for a long moment.
"You were sent for to help us?" she asked, with every bit of her hope clear in her voice as she crossed the room quickly. Stella just nodded.
"Is there somewhere I might lay him down to look him over?" She asked hurriedly.
"Our room is down the hallway outside and to the right," the young mother replied quickly – every hint of her hope and gratefulness reflected in her voice as she snatched up the blanket again. She reached out then to grab urgently for the sleeve of Stella's shirt, stopping her as soon as she'd stood up.
"Please," she begged. "May I go with you?"
"I should certainly hope you will," Stella answered. And she smiled just a little, offering assurance as she spoke. "Small children don't like to be far from their mothers."
Jessie sat down in the chair the Stella had just vacated. And for a moment he just sat, watching her leave with the others, while he tried hard to process his thoughts.
"I can only imagine you are utterly shocked by all of this," Lavinia said, startling him far more than she must have intended to. Jessie only nodded, still unsure of what to say exactly for a moment.
"I wouldn't have guessed you'd be so good with children," he said finally – another ridiculously blunt and tactless statement, he realized the moment he'd said it. And for the next moment, he just sat wondering exactly what he was thinking that day.
Lavinia though just smiled at his comment, before she laughed just a little, and finally looked so strangely sad and joyful in the same odd moment.
"I had my own children once," she said, giving him the first – and surely the only – glimpse he would ever get of who she'd once been. "Two little girls, and then my little boy..."
"I do apologize for putting you and Stella so out of your way," she continued, after a moment in which she'd just sat, looking into the flames of her fireplace across the room, with a wistful look across her face. "I know I certainly have no right to call on any of your people for help. The Lighted Dwelling owes us nothing..."
"You called on Stella's help out of desperation," Jessie answered back, thoughtfully. "I obviously don't speak for her. And frankly, I'd pity anyone who tries to even once. But she's a good person, who I know would be glad to do anything she could for a poor sick child anywhere."
"His mother, Brianna, all but begged me to please find someone who can do anything at this point." Lavinia sat still and quiet again for a moment, just thinking intently. "Life hasn't cut her a break in a while already. Her husband has been bedridden in the infirmary for going on a few months now. He could easily die any day. And between him and their very ill child..."
"What happened to the man?" Jessie asked the question in a tone of non-commitment, far from wanting to volunteer Stella for any more time spent with a second patient that day, but sure all the same she wouldn't hear of overlooking him.
The door flew open at that moment, interrupting the conversation. And Jessie turned quickly, relieved to see Stella reenter the room. She carried the boy in her arms again – he appeared perfectly content with the arrangement, and smiled weakly, halfway to sleeping, and loosening his hold on the little drinking jar he held between his tiny hands, as she sat down in a chair to hold him still on her lap. The little one's young mother was clearly far happier too – despite the weariness so clear in her eyes. And she smiled her relief as she sat down near them.
"I fully believe he's treatable," Stella said quickly. She sat the child upright just a little more in her arms and helped him to drink from the container he held.
"It's the darkness," the young mother, Brianna muttered, clearly understanding everything fully for the first time. "It was so entirely foolish to think it wouldn't be trouble, expecting a child to grow up in this world where he sees the sun only through the ceiling overhead... and far, far worse, he's so rarely outside to even see that filtered sunlight. I... I..." she sat still for a long moment, just shaking her head slowly – a mother so obviously ridden with guilt over her failings. "I kept him indoors, hidden within these stone walls, far more than anyone should have. Because out there, everything is just too dangerous."
Stella cast the young woman an understanding look – a look that made it clear that she knew the woman truly didn't know any better way. She stood then slowly, carefully, to place the boy back into his mother's lap, so that the woman could instantly hug him tight against her body, apologizing with her silent smile at him.
"The juice I gave him to drink," Stella explained, looking from one occupant of the room to the other, and including the boy himself, despite his lack of any real understanding of her words. "It's made from simple tintoberries, which of course have healing properties in high concentrations... sweetened with honey, boiled in a pot, and left to cool. I will come back soon to teach the young lady how to make large quantities for him to drink as often as he wants it because it can never hurt him in the least. And he needs to eat more too. Even if it's vegetable soup with meat broth and some bread if he isn't hungry for anything more for a while."
"He'll go outside every day too," Brianna muttered, her eyes filled with tears of her still so obvious regrets. "It can be so very dangerous outside... so many creatures lurking in the trees just waiting to scare us half to death. But what kind of life will a child ever have if he can't run around in the grass, chase dodos and learn to climb trees?"
"It wasn't your fault," Stella said to the woman, who looked up at her, her son still held tightly in her arms, while she fought back her tears. "Any mother worth a thing would do anything they thought right to protect their own children. And it's far from too late to do better..."
"Now..." she said, turning quickly to look in the direction of Jessie and Lavinia – an entirely new expression of concern on her face. "What was this I might have overheard about a sick man?"
"There was a ravager attack one day a while back," Lavinia explained. "A large pack of them as I understand it. Right outside our main gate. "Two men were dead by the time anyone was able to get to them and kill those beasts. And the third of them, Lawrence, was barely alive, face down in the bushes in a pool of blood. He'd lost his left arm somewhere above the elbow, and at least half his ribs were broken. Devastating injuries to be sure, but survivable. But each time he gets a little better he only gets worse again soon after..."
Stella sat still for a moment, appearing to carefully consider, just as Jessie knew she would. And finally, she just nodded, understanding dawning on her quickly.
"A lost limb, in a place like this..." she muttered thoughtfully. "It could easily be a serious infection. One that won't go away and that his body can't fight off. I'd need to see him to be sure of course but..." she looked from Lavinia to Brianna, once again just as Jessie knew she would. "May I?"
"We would be so grateful to you if you would..." the young woman said at once. Her voice was almost disbelieving but filled all the same with relief as she stood up. "I will take you to him." She moved to hand the child back to Lavinia, but the tribe-leader only shook her head a little, smiling instead as she waved a hand toward the door – silent advice, Jessie understood quickly, to instead let the injured man see his son.
'What's your life really like in this place?'
Katie considered the question – asked of her not long before, by Alexander – as she watched the scenery fly by below from the back of the rock drake. And her hand brushed absently across the beast's soft fan of blue feathers, that ruffled in the air.
The massive drake – named Cobalt – reached the edge of a clifftop abruptly. And Katie held firm to her place on the back of the saddle, as the creature's feet hit the ground in one firm thud. The creature was running at once, all four massive feet on the ground now and moving just as easily as she'd glided to get there.
"Nice landing, girl," Alexander said to his drake. He turned in his seat just enough to grin at Katie behind him, before he patted Cobalt on the head, and slowed her down with a tug on her reins.
"I'll never get tired of riding with you," Katie said, grinning back, despite the fact that he could no longer see her face, having turned back around to watch where they were going. She could certainly hear his laugh though in reply regardless. And that only made her smile for a long moment as gently brushed a hand through the drake's soft feathers again.
"You won't be riding with me forever, Katie," Alexander said brightly. "Soon you'll have one of your own, remember."
And she thought of the eggs – one containing her own soon-to-be rock drake among them – that sat quickly maturing at her own home base as they spoke. And she smiled again, just wondering for the hundredth time surely, what her very own young rock drake would look like.
"It'll take a year at least to raise it from a baby and train it even half as well as yours," she reasoned, still grinning. And her grin grew brighter as she added, happily, "not that I'm not absolutely excited to do even that much, of course!"
She spent a few long moments then, just thinking wistful thoughts as she watched the ground move past her from her place in the saddle. Her grin faded to a calm contented smile, as she imagined Alexander was still smiling too, with his face hidden from her while she watched him from behind.
"Even then..." she said slowly, "even when I finally have my own to ride, I'll never get tired of riding beside you instead."
She was surprised and baffled when Alexander stopped the rock drake suddenly, in the middle of a narrow pathway high up in the cliffs and far above the river. She sat still, looking down from her place in the saddle her concern growing by the second. She listened closely – every bit of her experience in that place telling her to be aware of predators. But she heard nothing. And that made her sigh with relief.
"Why did we stop?" she asked slowly. And her concern only grew again when Alexander climbed down from his place in the saddle.
"Jump in front," he said, confidant as she hesitantly slid down from her seat at his gentle urging. "I'll teach you to drive this amazing creature."
"Will she let me?" Katie questioned. And she knew her doubt had surely shown itself before she could manage to hide it behind another quick smile.
"Sure she will," Alexander answered quickly. And his voice held not a hint of uncertainty, as he gently put the reins into her hands.
"Rock drakes are so intelligent," he explained while Katie climbed – still filled with hesitation – into the front seat of the saddle. She felt the weight of the heavy leather reins in her hands, suddenly truly noticed every slow breath the rock drake took and felt the creature rock from side to side a little with the inevitable movements of the creature simply being alive. She felt the drake shift a little to balance the added weight comfortably when Alexander climbed into the passenger seat of the saddle. And she felt her own doubt screaming in her head, even as she fought to hide it with a confidant smile. "They are very much truly loyal to one master in their whole lives. But she knows I'd trust you with my life if it ever came to it. So she will trust you and protect you too."
Katie was entirely used to riding her ravagers. And she'd certainly commanded an impressive number of other creatures during her time in that strange world. She was generally so confidant in the thought of riding on the back of any trained creature in that place if she needed to. Because to her, like most people she had come to know there, befriending and commanding creatures was the thing that made life fully possible at all in that world of hardships and danger.
But the rock drake was different from anything she'd ever ridden before. The size of the creature alone was impressive – and it somehow seemed so much bigger from her new position at the front of the saddle. She could feel the creature's sheer strength and power even as the drake stood still. And the way the creature looked straight ahead of her – bright and curious yellow eyes slowly blinking now and then – made it more than clear that Cobalt was reasoning over something within her own awareness, like any truly intelligent and self-aware being, might do. Katie patted the creature's huge and soft feathered head, showing confidence even when she feared for the drake's obvious power. And she heard her huff gently – a harmless and content sound from a thing more than capable of killing both rider and passenger in seconds.
"Forward," Katie said, commanding out loud as most of the Dashing Raptor rock drake riders she'd ever so far seen, seemed to do. And she tugged the reins as she did so, relieved – and still no less doubtful and uneasy – when the creature immediately began to walk, and then speed to a run.
"Pull back on the reins," Alexander said, his tone so confidently. And when Katie did so, and the rock drake began to run faster – her strong body so easily shoving past a good handful of thick bushes on both sides of them, - he laughed loudly as Katie's sharp cry of nervous surprise at her instant obedience.
Katie laughed too after a shocked second. And she grinned brightly, looking around her a little from her new place at the front of the saddle. She might well have laughed again, and kept on smiling... but up ahead she could so clearly see now – from that new position – that the cliff was about to drop off to nothing but a sheer wall straight down for meters, while the rock drake continued to simply barrel right toward that deadly edge.
"She won't let us go over," Alexander said, laughing as Katie stiffed a cry of sudden fright, at simply watching the steep edge approaching. "Use the reins if you want, to tell her where to land. But no real need to!"
Cobalt's front feet left the cliff then. And Katie felt the force of her movements as she shoved off and away from it with her rear two. Sure enough, she was then gliding again, with no need to prompting at all, her feathers fanning out to either side in waves of lovely blue. Her feet hit the next cliff firmly and so oddly light for something of her massive size. And she walked on, so clearly enjoying the patting from Katie – who dared to take one hand from the reins again only after they'd landed.
"Where are we going?" Katie asked a smile on her face but not daring to turn from her attention on the path and a new drop-off that was so quickly approaching ahead.
"You'll see in a minute," Alexander answered. "It's just up ahead."
Sure enough, he instructed her to stop the rock drake just a short way up the path, where a tight-packed mess of mushroom topped trees and thick bushes all but blocked the path entirely to an animal as big as Cobalt was. And Katie, climbing down from the saddle slowly, as Alexander did the same, realized with just a quick look around, that it was surely near impassable to even themselves.
Alexander, however, it seemed had no intentions of entering the trees at all. Because he made for a sheer wall that stood beside them instead. And he sat himself down on the grass, his back to that smooth wall, and motioning for Katie to join him. She did so at once, even as her heart burned with unspoken questions.
"A few of my people and I found this place one day," he explained quickly, smiling as Katie sat beside him on the soft grass. "I can't imagine most people here know a thing about it."
He motioned with his eyes in an upward direction, while he just grinned. And Katie, confused, finally looked up over her head.
The ceiling of the world was directly above her. But it was so much closer than she'd ever seen it before – surely no more than ten meters up from where she would have stood if she'd been on her feet. And the streams of bright sunlight that poured in through the many gaps in the rock, were filtered by sheets of darkened crystal. Even then it so was warm, and bright.
"This has got to be the highest accessible point in this place," Alexander said. And Katie knew that his smile was only the result of her own look of joy and amazement as she looked from him to the ceiling above and back again.
"It's hard to believe that rock ceiling is all that's between us and the burning ground above on the surface," Katie mused. And she shuddered then, just a little and involuntarily as she considered it for a second. "Or... maybe I just don't want to believe it."
"The ceiling is thicker than we'd all probably think," Alexander answered, confidant and smiling again. "Or, at least I would think so. It's got to be."
Alexander moved then, reaching forward to start a little fire in the safety of a circle of stones that had been left behind by someone once, and likely used time and again by anyone that found it. Katie watched, impressed as he so easily lit the thin and dried out sticks he'd piled in on fire with a spark from only a couple of flint rocks he'd pulled from his pocket. She helped him then, happily hacking the driest of branches she could find on the bushes around them with her trusted hunting knife before she stripped them of leaves and tossed them over the kindling.
"The stories say this place used to be so different once," Katie muttered, thinking, as she sat back down on the ground. She'd never been one for any real interest in the tales passed around by her tribe and others in that place. There had never seemed to be much point in considering such things when she, and so many others had the here and now to worry about surviving on a daily basis. But it suddenly seemed oddly interesting in that moment, as she looked up at the sunlight filtering in through the dark ceiling again, and continued on slowly. "They say it looked more like something anyone would have remembered from our old lives somewhere."
"We have the same story," Alexander said, nodding. "I suppose everyone does, which would make sense. They say there was an explosion somewhere once... something powered by element. And powerful enough to fry the atmosphere and let the sun torch the surface. I like to think it must have been so pretty up there once. Much better than that empty wasteland we will only ever see in darkness..."
"Who were you in some other time and place?" Katie asked him, smiling as she changed the topic so abruptly. Alexander held his arms to her. And she joyfully moved closer to him, sighing softly as she rested in his snug embrace. She heard him laugh a little, surprising her.
"I was a stockbroker if you can believe that," he said, laughing again.
"A stockbroker?" Katie repeated his answer, knowing full well that every bit of her surprise surely showed all too well in the tone of her voice. But she couldn't help herself. "So, like wall street and investors?"
"Yep. At the end of of the 1940s if I've gotten the memories right." Alexander smiled, though the smile was entirely serious. And for a moment he appeared to think intently. "I remember my tiny apartment in lower Manhattan... the crowded subways... and sometimes I even recall the mind-numbing dullness of it all..."
"Mind-numbing dullness?" Katie sat up just a little straighter so that she could turn her head to stare at him, dismayed. "But... your life must have been so..."
"Predictable?" Alexander cut her off before she could finish. And she watched him shake his head a little, with dismay of his own. "Staring at the world from the thirty-second floor, watching life pass by. It used to seem like everyone but me was heading for some grand adventure. And there I was... playing it safe every second, doing exactly what my father upstate wanted. Then one day I just sort of woke up here – just like we all do I suppose. I was in a field of mushrooms, nearly nose to nose with an all too curious parasaur. And somewhere nearby I could hear something snarling in the bushes. I ran for it, of course. Leaped into the water and almost got myself killed doing that, so I learned faster than I'd ever learned anything in life. It was so dangerous those first couple days until I was found by the Raptors and offered assistance. But strange as I know it must sound, my first night here, laying on the ground by my fire – after I'd finally managed to work out how to light one of course – looking up at the ceiling of the world, hearing creatures in the distance, and sure they would eat me if they only got closer... I was truly happy."
"You were meant for this life," Katie mused, returning his smile easily. She leaned in closer to him and stared into the flames as they lapped at the kindling.
"What about you, Katie?" Alexander asked, his tone curious as he stirred at the flames with a broken branch.
"I don't..." Katie began to answer his question, thinking as she did so. But she felt his hands move suddenly, distracting her from any answer at all, as they rubbed at her arms and upper body gently.
One hand left her arm abruptly. And he wrapped it around her, pulling her tighter against him, and then holding her there while his other hand moved to touch her hair.
"Stop!" Katie's cry of alarm was immediate as she wiggled free, relieved and oddly disbelieving when he loosened his hold at once.
"Let me go, let me go!" she almost screamed the words, even as she felt him let go of her entirely. She backed away, still seated on the ground. And for what was surely several moments she just sat frozen, fighting back waves of terror and frustration, resentment and dread.
"Katie?" Alexander's voice was calm and patient – if not alarmed – as called out to her gently. "Are you alright?"
He moved just a little closer to her. But then he stopped again, holding out a hand to her, just within her reach, instead of closing the distance. And looking up again, she could see him smile at her. She just stared at him for another good moment, understanding only then just how badly her body was trembling, before she burst into sudden tears.
"Katie, please," Alexander's voice was pleading patiently and calmly, hopeful and concerned. He moved just a little closer. And his hand reached out to touch her... but he didn't. "Tell me what's wrong."
"You asked me what my life is like here," Katie muttered, so strangely relieved when her companion only nodded with a curious look, disbelieving when he showed no sign of anger at her tears.
"I did," he said, interested. And Katie sat for a moment, considering before she began to speak again.
"It's always been good here," she said, not caring much that her opinion was not exactly the most common one among her people. "Even with so many terrible dangers hiding in the dark, just waiting for a chance to kill me, it was always so much better than the life I left. The nights walking the streets of Vancouver... an endless list of men that used me for my body... that would sooner slap the tears right out of my eyes than see me as human. Some girls would have learned to shut their mouths, but I never did... and near-nightly assaults never did seem to teach me much. I..."
Katie stopped speaking then, abruptly and with her explanation unfinished. She looked up at Alexander again, expecting she would see disgust in his eyes over her words, expecting she would see his rage at her continued crying. But he was simply looking down at her instead, sad and concerned and horrified – sudden anger in his eyes that she understood somehow was not meant for her - while he so clearly waited for her to finish speaking.
"When I first woke up here..." she explained, shaking harder as a new wave of tears spilled from her eyes. "I thought surely I must have died. And I didn't entirely care. Because the last thing I remembered, even if it was some distant hint of memory somewhere in the back of my awareness, was some fat drunken pig of a man in a suit, trying his best to shove me down a staircase at the fourteenth street hotel because I'd called him a damn filthy creep. Being dead truly felt like a better fate than another day of that life, because I hated everything about the world, where I'd never had a chance..."
"I would never ever use you, or any woman, for your body," Alexander said slowly. "And I'm so sorry if it ever seemed that that could be the case." And it was clear from his tone just how regretful and horrified he was. He offered out his hands, and Katie took them slowly, shaking harder.
"I can't think of a single thing you could ever do that would make me mad enough to smack you, or threaten your life," he continued, his tone calm even as his eyes filled with rage that was still certainly not for her.
"How can I ever know for sure I can trust you to be decent? To respect me?" Katie muttered, looking again into the flames of the campfire, feeling bad for her words and her doubts as soon as she had spoken. But she moved to lean closer to Alexander's body, seeking out the warmth she'd pushed away only moments before. And she was relieved when he hugged her close to him immediately.
"I suppose I'll just need to prove myself to you, Katie," he said. "If you'd let me try, of course." He smiled at her again, so clearly self-assured and understanding. "And if it takes ten years to do that, I can't think of a better use of my time." He smiled, then his smile became a grin, and he added thoughtfully, "I've been here long enough already to be sure I'm not exactly leaving tomorrow."
"You don't want a broken person," Katie muttered – her tears finally managing to stop. She looked up again, making herself lift her head from its place against his shoulder as humiliation gave way to determination. "Not here of all places... not with so much danger to look out for... so much work to do... so much else to think about, and no way to ever fix me..."
"Aren't we all just a little broken?" Alexander answered simply. And of every answer that he could have given – any of the many ways he could surely have upset her, embarrassed or dismissed her – that one made her smile.
It was much later than she'd counted on when Katie made it back to the Lighted Dwelling. And she made her best effort to be quiet as she put her ravager back in its stall inside the animal pen, knowing better than to let the door slam on her way back out. She crept up the back steps then, quietly as every other time she'd come in late in recent weeks, making as little noise as she could in closing the door behind her. And she sighed with relief to see no one watching her come in – no one waiting with questions.
Some of her tribe-mates were certainly still awake and about. She could hear faint hints of quiet conversation in the dining room a short way down the hall, and a burst of laughter here and there from the sitting doom beyond that. Then there was a running water tap... hurried footsteps somewhere... the noise of bowls and drinking jars being rattled around. But most of them she knew full well, were in their bunks by then, asleep. She tried her best to not wake any of them as she crept up the wooden stairs, and past the doors of their bunk rooms to her own.
She crossed her bunk room quietly, tossed down her pack in the corner and sat down on her bunk – which was thankfully closest to the door – to pull off first her hide jacket and then her boots, in the near darkness of the room. She sighed, growing tired as she tucked her boots neatly under the frame of her bunk, and stood again to hang the jacket on its hook, mounted to a wall above the wooden storage box at the foot of the bed. Her featherlight, Trevor, chirped once and then again with a tone of clear impatience, from his favored place, perched on the edge of a cabinet a short ways away. And she hurried over, despite the late hour and her tiredness, to pick him up at once. She stood for a moment, patting the soft feathers of his little blue head, smiling when he clearly forgave her with a cheerful little chirp, for leaving him behind.
"Katie...?" Ellie's voice, heard from her own bunk across the room made her turn quickly to find her in the dimness of the room, shaking badly despite the heavy fur-lined cover over her small body.
Katie snatched up another heavy cover from the third unused bed in the small room. And she hurried to her friend at once, throwing the blanket over her gently, watching with worry as Ellie just continued to tremble with some inner chill that even the covers and the warmth of the room – one that if anything was far too hot in the heat of summer nights – could do so little to relieve her of.
"I... I need... can I have...?" Ellie muttered before she fell silent again.
"Ellie? What is it?" Katie questioned, calm and quiet, even as her heart sank a little in just looking at her bunk-mate in the dimness of the room.
Ellie was so still, aside from her still constant shivering. And when she did finally move, it was only enough to reach out with one trembling hand to just barely grab hold of Katie's shirt sleeve in her obvious confusion. Katie recognized the effects of strong narcotics at once. She understood that Stella had so clearly drugged the poor girl into near oblivion, so she might sleep for more than an hour before she woke up in her sadly so usual state of frantic crying. And even then it clearly hadn't fully done the job, because Ellie was awake anyway, and silent helpless tears of pain streamed from her closed eyes.
"Can.. can I please... have some water?" she asked, her voice shaking badly.
Katie looked around, relieved when she found Ellie's water jar, left on the small table beside the bunk. It would have easily been in Ellie's reach if the girl hadn't been too unwell to reach even that far to get it. Katie sighed, sadder than ever for her friend, as she undid the lid from the container and held it to her bunkmate's mouth, relieved when she drank a little from it, slowly and carefully.
"Thank you," Ellie mumbled, taking another small sip of the water before she stopped drinking and turned her head just a little. A grateful hint of a smile showed on her face then, through her tears. Finally, she half-opened her eyes, and gazed around the room a little – clearly more awake now – where she would have been far better off sleeping instead.
"Can I see Trevor?" she asked, hopeful through her drowsiness and pain. And Katie sat down gently on the edge of the bunk, smiling in her direction, as she coaxed her light-pet down from her shoulder, to sit instead on the bunk.
"We'll find you one of your own soon," she said – smiling and trying hard to hide every hint of her fear that she'd just made a truly empty promise.
Ellie was dying. And for all of her denials – right along with those of every other member of the Lighted Dwelling – it was impossible to pretend anymore that it wasn't true. Katie knew, in simply looking her over intently in the darkness, that she couldn't be surprised if Ellie didn't make it til morning – a sadder fact than anything considering how long she'd lived so far. Katie fought back threatening tears and every urge to look down at the floor, making herself look at her bunk-mate instead – watching her shaking hand gently pet the featherlight's soft wings, while Trevor chirped at her quietly.
"I... want to find a pretty pink and white one..." Ellie mumbled. And Katie knew she was only playing along with the illusion now, aware of just how bad her own condition was despite every one of their tribe-mates still denying it to her face time and again. Maybe because it was all she had to hope for, and it made her happy. She even managed a hint of a giggle as she added, "she could be Trevor's little girlfriend."
"I shouldn't have been back so late," Katie muttered back. Her tears fell then and she couldn't care as a stream of them fell from her eyes. Her sudden remorse was a crushing weight against her. And she shook her head as if to shake off her regrets as she reminded herself firmly that she just hadn't known everything had gotten so much worse. She wanted to run then to find help. Every bit of reason told her that Ellie should have been in Stella's cabin, instead of in her own bunk that night. But then, the same reasoning told her there was every reason she was not. And she knew then that Ellie had all but entirely refused to go... again.
"Where did you go?" Ellie asked. She sounded entirely confused. And Katie felt at least some hint of relief at that. Because she knew that Ellie had not even noticed she'd been alone so long at all.
"I was out tonight," Katie explained. "With... a friend." She didn't care if Ellie, out of anyone, knew everything now. She heard another tiny giggle, saw a tiny growing smile. And she knew that Ellie was quickly beginning to understand. She only smiled back then, glad she was so clearly amused by the entire thing.
"Where's he from?" The question found Katie somehow relieved all over again. Because if Ellie was talking with her then she was calm and distracted from her suffering. And she was busy doing anything other than dying in the dark of night.
"From among the Dashing Raptors," Katie said, smiling again before she let herself laugh a little. "Though, before this place... Manhattan." She let herself smile brighter when Ellie giggled again, even if it was still such a quiet little hint of a sound.
"Do you need some more water?" she asked slowly, and she watched as her bunk-mate nodded slowly.
"I hope it... works out for you two," Ellie mumbled, still smiling with sincerity until the little smile was forced from her face by a sharp cry of pain as Katie moved her just enough to give her another drink from the water jar.
"You'll get to meet him someday," Katie said, forcing a smile past teary eyes, and pretending again that 'someday' was entirely possible now. "He's a trench runner... a rock drake trainer..."
Ellie looked impressed, even through her gasps of pain as she drank from the water jar carefully. Katie knew she would be. She shifted her friend's weight carefully back to laying flat on the bunk again when it was clear she'd drank all she wanted. But Ellie gasped and cried with ever greater pain at the movement, regardless of her care in doing so.
"We need to call for help," Katie said, firmly and fully decided, despite Ellie's fully expected shaking of her head in protest.
It was growing light now – the short summer night coming to an end, only a couple of hours after it had truly begun. And even though it was still the middle of the night, the light that had begun to creep in through the window above Ellie's bed, gave Katie hope somehow.
She gasped after she'd lifted her hands away from her bunk-mate, startled by the blood that appeared to stain her cloth clothing in the hints of morning light. She yanked back Ellie's heavy covers with her heart dropping fast. And she fought back a cry of horror and despair as her eyes landed on the red pool spreading over the bunk, the bedding, and Ellie's body itself.
"Help!" she screamed toward the closed door – even as some small part of her brain capable of thinking past her panic told her to reach for the radio that sat on Ellie's little bedside table. She did reach out to grab it after several seconds, her hands shaking and her stomach flipping over itself horribly. But when she couldn't recall, though a fog of terror, how to actually use the simple machine she only screamed again instead.
"I'm... sure he's... amazing..." Ellie mumbled. She sounded so devastatingly terrible now – and surely the massive blood loss was the blame for that. Katie blinked, though her panic, to wonder in confusion what it was Ellie was talking about. And she understood with a start that it was a reply to her own previous comment. She looked at Ellie's face then – saw an odd sort of calm in her clouded blue eyes.
"You're... going to wake half the tribe... yelling like that," Ellie mumbled, weaker than ever and seeming only then to have realized that Katie had screamed.
There was so much blood everywhere. Katie made herself take notice of it, despite the fact that it only made her panic and want to scream again. Because she knew full well it was bad. She was sure she'd never seen so much blood in her life. And still there seemed to be more pooling onto the bunk, while she yelled as loudly as she could toward the door.
"Ellie," she said, her voice firm through her shakiness as she lifted her bunk-mate into her arms, holding her as upright as she could, not sure if she was helping or making everything worse, and caring only to hold her attention any way she could.
She heard her bunk-mate cry again in pain – an agonized sound now given the weakness behind it. And she wondered blankly, somewhere in the back of her mind, if perhaps she should hope her bunk-mate would simply slip away into death and oblivion quickly. She felt a strange and sickening warmth hit her face. And barely registered the reality of everything as a spray of blood poured over her in large horrifying drops of red, that splashed against the floor. Ellie whimpered against her loosely fitted clothing before she gave another pained cry. And Katie looked at her again, trembling to see still more blood trickle from her mouth. Katie held her just a bit more upright, not needing anyone around to tell her that made decent sense now.
"Katie?" That was Jessie's voice outside the bunk-room. And the sound of his distress at her screaming was unmistakable, even as she focused on just holding as still as she could to avoid causing Ellie further pain as she turned toward the door.
The tribe leader hurried inside then, with none of his usual obvious unease at entering a sleeping space belonging to women. And he reached the bunk in a few long and fast steps, with understanding dawning at once.
"This is bad," he muttered, shaking his head as he looked around helplessly. "This is really bad." Katie felt the warmth of his hand on her shoulder, as he let it rest there firmly before his eyes met hers. "Just... keep holding her like that to keep her from moving..."
Stella was behind him in minutes, hurrying into the small bunk-room. And Katie, through her shock and terror, her regret and her doubt, noticed somehow that both she and Jessie still wore traveling clothes and carried their packs on their backs. She watched Stella, so clearly caught up in a moment of rare doubt, shake her head, just as helpless as the rest of them. And that made Katie's heart drop still further.
"Jessie, I think you've got to pick her up and carry her," Stella commanded, firm and confidant now – or at least so by all outward appearances, even if her voice betrayed her just a little. She looked around the room quickly, before she snatched up the last available blanket to wrap Ellie in. "We need to get to the outpost. And we need to get there quickly."
"I'm... going with you," Katie said, her boots back on her feet and her coat around her shoulders before anyone could argue. She snatched up her pack in a fast motion and Trevor in another. She tried to pretend she didn't notice – and wondered if she should in fact feel relieved – that Ellie hadn't made a sound this time, as she was lifted into the tribe leader's arms, eyes barely open and her look all but uncomprehending as he made for the door.
"Clear the hallway!" Katie shouted, probably far louder than she needed to. Because just as she could have easily expected, the noise and commotion from inside the bunk-room had disturbed most, if not all, of their tribe-mates by now. And so many of them stood, milling about, inadvertently blocking the hall, as they spoke among themselves in anxious whispers, clearly just wanting to know if Ellie was alive. She sighed her relief when they quickly backed up, and she nodded to them quickly, hoping that a silent answer to their question was enough, because there wasn't time for more than that.
"Katie?" a quiet, and shaking voice made her pause as she made for the back door of the building. And the trembling hand that tugged, like a helpless child, at her shirtsleeve, caused her to stop entirely. She knew full well she could, and would, quickly catch up as Stella and Jessie ran on ahead. And she felt every bit of her momentary annoyance drop when her eyes met Johnny's.
The youngest of her tribe-mates stood, away from the huddled group, to stand instead, partly huddled under the staircase. His eyes darted around in every direction at once, his mind so clearly doing its best just to comprehend reality in the moment as his small body trembled hard with his terror.
"Please..." he said. And Katie saw him look down to the floor – a habit, he knew full well, he'd formed quickly in that place to hide any hint of the fact that he still cried so easily. "Tell me... is... is Ellie...?
He wanted to ask if she was dead. Katie knew that without a need for him to finish the terrible question. And she knew just well he couldn't bring himself to finish it regardless. She freed her shirtsleeve – which he still clung to – gently from his grip, and instead spared just a moment to stand gently resting her hands on his shoulders. She pretended not to notice the stream of tears that streaked over his face when he finally looked up at her. And she smiled a little – a forced smile, which she meant entirely to hide her own despair.
"She's alive, but barely so from the looks of it," she explained, only hoping as she so so that their tribe-mate hadn't died in the tribe leader's arms before they'd even reached the door. Because she, right along with so many others there, saw little sense in lying to the youngest of them in that place.
"Stella will save her," Johnny muttered, hopeful to a fault even then, with his tears still falling. He looked toward the door, long closed behind the fast retreating people. And he smiled a little, muttering, "you need to go and catch up, Katie. Hurry!"
Notes/ Ugh, this one took me ages just to get right. This is the final of several tries at it, and even now it doesn't quite have the tone in places that I wanted for it. I've come to terms with the fact that all I can ever do is my best...
So... the existence of a child in Ark was a new idea not originally planned for when I started this story. But I revisited the explorer notes a while back, and it seems like it was permitted on Scorched Earth. So, why not Aberration too? And it gave me an idea...