Chapter 3

At six-thirty sharp, the elevator chimed to alert Chuck's arrival home. He swallowed quickly when he heard his son's excited squeal emanating from the kitchen. It was time to suppress all of his dark thoughts and emotional turmoil - something he had become quite well adept at over his lifetime. Blair had always been too attuned to his moods, though, to be fooled so easily. He could put on a happy smile, and his son would buy it, but his wife was another story entirely. In anticipation of her inevitable questions, he created an internal monologue about work stress and how much pressure he felt about his upcoming merger with the Carlson group.

He drew a breath and rounded the corner toward the kitchen, mentally preparing himself to face Blair as her happy and doting husband, blissfully ignorant of her betrayal. As Chuck cleared his throat announcing his arrival, Henry jumped down from his place at the island and ran toward his father with pure joy dotting his small features. "Daddy!" he squealed in excitement as he jumped into Chuck's arms.

"Ah, Henry," Chuck lifted his son into a dramatic hug, "I can't wait to hear all about school today."

"It was awesome," the little boy emphasized. "I made so many friends, and I got to play dinosaurs with Matt at recess. I wanna go back tomorrow!"

For the first time since discovering Blair's dark secret, Chuck felt the ice around his heart thaw slightly, and he found himself offering his son a genuinely happy smile. He patted the little boy's head and said, "I want to hear every detail before bed, but right now, I have to go get ready for Grandma Lily and Aunt Serena's dinner. Go help Dorota set the table."

"Chuck?" He heard Blair call from the other side of the kitchen. Gritting his teeth and knotting his hands into the inner-lining of his trouser pockets, he turned toward his wife, bracing himself for her typically affectionate welcome home greeting. He forced his face to relax as she wrapped her arms around his neck and pecked his lips. She pulled back and ran her hands over his shoulders in a comforting gesture. Knitting her eyebrows together in concentration, she observed, "You're tense. Is everything okay, my love?"

He placed his hands on her hips and studied her carefully. She still looked like his Blair - the woman he had loved fiercely for over a decade, the woman he would willingly sacrifice his own life for. His heart clenched in his chest, desperately trying to reconcile the powerful feelings of hurt and anger with the deep love he felt toward his wife. Her eyes shone brightly with concern, and he reminded himself that the most important thing was to keep her calm during these delicate weeks of early pregnancy. Suppressing his frustration, he pulled her closer into a tight embrace and kissed her cheek, "The Carlson deal isn't going as smoothly as I anticipated. Everything's fine. No need to worry."

Her face still held a certain amount of skepticism, but she simply nodded and kissed him again before turning to the dining room to oversee the dinner preparations. He loosened his tie as he entered the master bedroom and memories of the past seven years flooded his entire being. The weight of it all came crashing down on him, and he sank to the bed, raking his hands through his hair in distress. He didn't know how to act or what to say. Part of him wanted to ignore it all and pretend like it had never happened; the other part of him could barely stand to look at Blair. The two very contradictory emotions fought for dominance in his mind, so he did something that he hadn't done in a long time, especially not with Henry at home. He rummaged through the nightstand and found a silver lockbox tucked into the back of the drawer, where he kept a small stash of weed because, even though he rarely smoked anymore, he couldn't bring himself to abandon it entirely.

Stepping onto the large outdoor patio adjoining the master bedroom, he took a drag from the joint, desperate for some refuge from the battle raging in his head. After a few minutes, he felt himself begin to relax. He told himself that, as hurt as he was, Blair must have some reasonable explanation for her deception. Regardless of his current feelings, she was still his wife, and he loved her unconditionally. There would be time later to ask questions; for now, he needed to get through dinner with Lily and Serena.

XOXO

"Lily, you look lovely as always," Chuck greeted his adoptive mother with a soft kiss to the cheek.

"Charles," she placed an affectionate hand against his cheek, "you look tired, darling. I hope you're not overworking yourself."

She shot an inquiring eye in Blair's direction, but she was distracted when Henry rounded the corner, plowing toward her in pure excitement. He wrapped his small arms around her legs, while yelling, "Gramma Lily, Gramma Lily! I've missed you!"

"Oh, my dear boy, I've missed you too," she bent forward and lifted the child into her arms for a tight hug. "Perhaps if it's okay with Mommy and Daddy, we can have a sleepover this weekend. We'll watch all the superhero movies you can think of."

"Can I, Daddy? Pllleeaasseee?" He drew out the plea and jutted out his lower lip in the way that he had learned long ago almost always worked in his favor with Chuck. His puppy-dog eyes weren't nearly as effective with his mother, and he had yet to discover the fail-proof tactic that would persuade her to acquiesce to his desires. Therefore, he typically went to his father for permission that his mother was often reluctant to grant.

"I don't see why not, but we do need to check with your mother to make sure that it doesn't interfere with her plans," he rubbed his son's back as the elevator chimed to announce Serena's arrival.

Chuck took in his sister's appearance as she emerged from the elevator holding a bottle of wine and a ridiculously oversized Balenciaga bag. The dark circles he'd come to expect hidden haphazardly under layers of concealer were finally fading, and he thought that he saw a small glint in her eyes when she stepped forward to embrace him. It wasn't the bright sparkle that used to be associated with Serena van der Woodsen - the one that she'd lost over two years ago when she made the decision to marry Dan Humphrey - but it was a start. Chuck had tried with all his might to be supportive of his sister's questionable choices in romantic partners, but he struggled with accepting her insistence on marrying Hum Drum Humphrey despite the hell he had put her through over the years. He'd somehow managed to keep his mouth shut on the matter, but his wife was another story. Blair's adamant disapproval became a point of contention between her and Serena, so Chuck had acted as a mediator once again to reconcile the stubborn best friends. It was with much effort that he kept Blair from gloating over Serena's failed marriage and to instead offer the fickle blonde her unwavering support instead of a snarky I-told-you-so. He had high hopes that, now that her divorce was finalized, Serena would return to the bright, confident presence that she had been before Dan tore her down to his level by constantly projecting his own feelings of inadequacy onto her. He took the bottle of wine from her, offering her a sincere compliment, "You're radiant, Serena."

She chuckled dryly, "Who knew that divorce would be the best skincare routine I could invest in?"

"Well, you won't get any sympathy from me," Blair's voice carried in from the kitchen, "Dropping that pathetic striver was the best decision you've ever made." She rounded the corner with a sardonic smirk on her face, but her upturned lip fell slightly when she hugged her friend and whispered in her ear, "But are you okay? He's not worth one more moment of fretting from you."'

"I'm fine," Serena smiled at the brunette. "You were right all along, B. It just took some heartache to see his true colors. I'm happier than I have been in years, truly. Please don't worry," she turned her attention to the little boy still clutching the legs of the elder van der Woodsen, "Now, I need to catch up with my handsome nephew. Come on, Henry, I've got a present for you."

"A new dinosaur?!" The little boy squealed in excitement, remembering the exact robotic tyrannosaurus rex toy that he had not-so-subtly pointed out to Serena the last time she took him to lunch. She winked and led him by the hand to the playroom.

XOXO

.

After the meticulously planned dinner was served, the putrid smell of the fish adorning the plate in front of her caused Blair to lurch forward violently as a wave of nausea washed over her. She quickly excused herself from the table and ran toward the closest restroom to expel the meager contents of her stomach into the toilet.

Serena looked toward Chuck in question, but he had already risen from the table to follow Blair down the hall. He shouted over his shoulder, "Please occupy Henry."

After a soft, obligatory knock, he pushed the door open without waiting for a response, and his heart ached in his chest at the image that he found in front of him: Blair's head rested in her hands with a sheen of sweat glistening across her forehead and chest; mascara ran from the corners of her eyes where her gag reflex had caused her eyes to water uncontrollably. In that moment, he forgot all of his frustration with her, and sat on the floor next to her, pulling her head onto his shoulder while simultaneously brushing the hair from her temple. "I'm sorry," he whispered against her head, "I'm here, baby. It's okay."

She took the tissue that he offered her and dabbed her eyes, "It's so early for this, Chuck. I really hope that this isn't a sign that -"

"Let's not even think about that," he stopped her, remembering how incredibly sick she had been with Henry. "I'll call the doctor first thing in the morning. Would you like me to send Serena and Lily home?"

"No, I'll be okay in a minute," she offered him a weak smile, "But we do need to prepare for the possibility that I'll have HG again, Chuck. It's recurrent with subsequent pregnancies for a large percentage of women."

"I hope not," he responded, "But if so, we'll get through it like we did the first time. I need you to be as calm and relaxed as possible though, so please don't force yourself to be social when you feel bad."

"I'm fine," she insisted, "Really. It was just the smell of the fish."

"The smell's still there, Blair," he sighed, "And you need to eat. I'll order you a grilled chicken salad and have Dorota clear the fish. We can keep Serena and Lily company on the patio while the dining room airs out. It's a beautiful evening."

Blair looked up at her husband in adoration as she contemplated how effortlessly he took care of her and Henry, always selflessly putting their needs before his own. She stroked his cheek and murmured quietly, "I love you, Chuck Bass."

"I love you, too, Blair," he responded, placing a gentle kiss on her head before exiting the restroom.

XOXO

Once they had relocated to the large patio and Henry was playing contentedly in the playroom, Serena eyed her friend curiously as Lily reached forward to squeeze Blair's hand and ask, "Are you alright, darling?"

Chuck answered quickly before Blair had a chance to respond, "Yes, Blair's just been extra sensitive to fish lately. It was a poor choice for dinner."

Serena chimed in, "B, you can be honest with us here. Has your condition returned? It would be understandable with Harold's diagnosis -"

Chuck glared at Serena in warning, "She just has a sensitive stomach. Leave it be, Serena."

"You know Blair can answer for herself, Chuck," Serena narrowed her eyes at her brother, clearly unintimidated by his tone. "If she's sick, we need to -"

"Serena, I'm perfectly capable of taking care of my wife. It's not any of your business -"

"Like hell it's not," Serena screeched, "I am the one who was there when -"

"Serena, this isn't really appropriate," Lily soothed in an attempt to calm her daughter.

"Appropriate? She might have relapsed, and you want to talk to me about propriety?"

'Oh, my God!" Blair yelled into the frenzy of voices discussing her as if she wasn't there, "I haven't relapsed! I'm pregnant!"

Silence filled the air around them as Serena's mouth fell open, Lily's head jolted up in surprise, and Chuck's eyes clenched tightly as he pinched the bridge of his nose. Slowly Lily stood to embrace her daughter-in-law, "This is amazing, Blair. I'm so happy for you," she turned to Chuck and placed her hand against his cheek affectionately, "Congratulations, darling."

Serena finally let the news settle in, and she turned to Blair, "I'm so sorry for questioning you, B. This is incredible news." Tears welled in the corners of her eyes as she placed her arms around her friend, "I love you."

"I love you, too, S," Blair offered her a smile, "I know that you mean well, even when you are so persistent."

Chuck cut in, "Henry doesn't know. I literally just found out last night, so we'd appreciate it if you would keep it quiet."

Serena moved her fingers across her mouth in a gesture meant to symbolize locked lips, "This is so exciting, though. Henry's going to make an amazing big brother. When are you due?"

"April 15th," Blair beamed, finally letting her elation shine through her expression.

"Oh, maybe she'll be born on Nate's birthday," Serena clasped her hands together. "I can't wait to meet my new niece."

Chuck rolled his eyes, "We don't know that it's a girl yet."

Serena smirked, "I'm just speaking it into the universe. Can't you just imagine a tiny Blair? Your daughter will own you, Chuck."

Images of a beautiful little girl with shiny chocolate ringlets and doe eyes flashed before his mind, and he felt his breath hitch in his throat. Blair's first child was a girl - his girl that he didn't really get the chance to mourn. The weight of Blair's betrayal hit him again, and he suddenly couldn't breathe. He already had a daughter, right? A tiny girl he never got to hold or whisper soft "I love yous" to; he didn't know if she had dark curls and a button nose like her mother or if she had his defined brows and almond eyes. The universe was so cruel. His mind was foggy, and he barely registered Blair's voice speaking to him, "You'll be the best daddy to a little girl, Chuck. I can already see it; you'll be wrapped around her tiny little finger."

Chuck merely nodded with a hard swallow, "Yes," he turned to Serena and Lily, "If you all will excuse me, I apologize for ending the night so abruptly, but I've got a rather important meeting in the morning and need to get some rest." He stood and left the three women on the patio without another word.

XOXO

An hour or so later after tucking Henry in and reading two bedtime stories, Chuck lay in bed staring at the ceiling with his mind continuously replaying his torturous thoughts from the day. How was he going to face Blair every day for the duration of her pregnancy with this weighing on him? His emotions over the past 12 hours had been all over the place, but they always landed back in the same place: hurt, confusion, and betrayal. He had learned fairly early on in their relationship that open communication and honesty were the keys to their success as a couple, but he couldn't discuss this with Blair - at least not yet. It wasn't just that she'd broken his trust; it was that Blair was his go-to person for every issue he faced, and he didn't know what to do if she wasn't the one he could turn to. She was his rock, his sounding board, his anchor; without her support, he felt like he was free-falling into oblivion with no clear trajectory.

When Blair climbed into bed beside him, he rolled over onto his side away from her, hoping to avoid a conversation about his 'work stress' or his strange behavior at dinner. Instead, she cuddled up behind him and draped her arm over his waist. She kissed his naked shoulder and ran her hand to the front of his pajama pants to toy with the drawstring. He hissed when she reached her hand into his pants to grasp his manhood softly in her hand. His body reacted naturally to her touch, but his mind wasn't about to let him enjoy her ministrations, causing him to recoil from her. She misinterpreted his tensed muscles as a need for release, and she pumped him faster, whispering against his shoulder, "You're so tense, Chuck. Let me help you relax."

With a sigh, he gently removed her hand from his pants, placing a kiss to her knuckles and explained, "Not tonight, Blair. I'm tired. I really just need to get some sleep."

Blair yanked her hand back as feelings of rejection and embarrassment washed through her. She rolled to her side without responding, facing the opposite direction from him. The silence between them was deafening, and a lonely tear made a slow path down her cheek in the only external indication of the distance she felt from her husband.