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Close Enough
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Amelia looked at her bed, annoyed. After almost ten years, she had no idea what to wear.
Two dresses were displayed over her bed. Violet and blue, both exquisite, both overly ornate. Amelia sighed, going for the jewelry box instead. Maybe she might be able to decide based upon her necklaces. This is how Edith found her, she knocked and then meekly entered inside. Amelia jumped, not expecting the intrusion; however, her expression turned somber. Edith was wearing a light yellow silk dress; and her serious expression didn't fit her delicate get up. Before Amelia could said anything, Edith did.
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"Father wanted me to tell you that you better be ready, the first guest has arrived," Amelia grimaced in discomfort. Without another word, Edith turned to leave.
"Don't you think we need to talk?"
"I don't think its necessary," Edith answered curtly.
Annoyed, Amelia walked over to her. Edith stood next to the open door, and fought to not let go of the handle as her older sister tried to close it again.
"Edith, I didn't know this would happen-"
"Oh, Of course... you know, you make no sense Amelia. First, you tell me that I should think it twice before setting my eyes on Thomas and now you are about to marry him!" Amelia gaped at her.
"M-marriage?... Hold-hold on a minute. No one had said anything about marriage," Amelia stated, "Thomas is only presenting his interest in pursuing my affections and even about that... I-I haven't accepted-,"
"But you'll accept today, won't you? What difference does it make? He's in love with you... he'll ask you to marry him sooner or later," Edith's eyes filled with tears and she looked away, "If you wanted to be with Thomas all along, you shouldn't have tried to deceive everyone around you thinking otherwise,"
"I didn't deceive you! I didn't know he felt that way!"
"Then why did you make me think He and I were meant to be!"
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Amelia didn't know what to say. Edith wiped her tears fast, walking back into the room, sitting on the bed. Amelia took a deep breath; thinking that if she wasn't entirely to blame, at the very least, she should have seen the signs.
When she returned home and didn't found Edith, she thought nothing of it. She concluded her afternoon with Thomas was a secret to everyone, but she was mistaken. The next day, as she went to work with her father, Edith avoided her for a second time; and she started suspecting. It was at dinner when Carter himself expressed his reserve about Amelia opening her heart to Thomas that she understood. Her father had told Edith by accident. She didn't know how much had he told her; how much he assumed had happened... but maybe just a little was enough.
Yes, at first, she had thought Thomas interest was centered in Edith. But how could she not?... what about their first exchange? What about the dance they shared in the McMichael's party?
She was sure Edith had ended up thinking the same way. Amelia had approximated the baronet in an attempt to asses his intentions with Edith; just like she assumed her father had done... But no, her father was approaching Thomas because of her. Just like looking in a mirror, the actions that could have meant directly intended to Edith, were directed to her. Now that Thomas had confessed his feelings, Amelia found some details unnerving... impossible to ignore. Had Thomas known how happy had she been when he asked Edith to dance with him, when he elevated her sister above those pompous chickens? She wouldn't have been as happy if she were to be the dance partner instead. Then, he would seek Edith's manuscript, and they would linger together... but as soon as Amelia was going, he had offered to accompany her instead of staying with Edith. Amelia had thought that maybe Thomas was what Edith needed, so she asked him if he thought that Edith was pretty.
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He called her pretty instead.
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She had read it all wrong. She panicked, his expression so sincere that she instinctively rejected him. She had doubted herself since then, and stubbornly repeated the mantra that Thomas was still interested in Edith. But then, when he tried to hold her attention for a second time, she let herself be swept away. Had he been any other man, she would have rejected him twice without even batting an eye, but this time... it was different. Something kept on reeling her in, just like the moments she desired to indulge his little whims, just like the moments he showed genuine courage and she felt charmed, just like the moments they talked and time could fly faster than running water. Amelia was sure, she wouldn't be able to find something like that again... and she rather indulge him again and also indulge her heart's selfishness, than to loose his friendship.
However... would she do that at the expense of her beloved sister's heart?
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"It was not like that. I was worried it was all a scam, and that his interest in you had an evil purpose. But even then I was wrong! Had I known that you were already this smitten-," Amelia said, and regretted it instantly. Incredulous. Edith looked at her, brown eyes soon turned into a murderous glare.
"And all the times that you left me beside Thomas, the way you invited me at the park, the dance... you tell me it was a lie!"
"I didn't leave you beside Thomas! I never thought of inviting you exclusively, I just didn't want to go alone! Edith, It might be hard to believe, but those were coincidences. I just- get it, I made you believe something that wasn't there and I'm sorry if my words steered you that way. But don't you think that you are also being unfair? how was I to know that you had already fallen for Thomas like this?"
"How were you to know?... How could you not? I talked to you yesterday; I told you all that he did for me! I told you!'"
"Didi-"
"Don't call me that!"
"Edith... I never meant to hurt you. I didn't mean for this to happen... nor for you to break your heart, or..." Or for her to feel the way she did. Amelia bit her lower lip, knowing her words weren't reaching Edith. But in reality, could she blame her? Edith had grown to expect, as much as she did, for her to remain single. This was a sudden change of plans... one that now Amelia understood she couldn't afford to have. It was unfair, but that's how it was supposed to be... hadn't he told her before? Sebastian never made mistakes.
Her life was meant to be unfair.
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"I won't hurt you like this, I told Thomas that I'd give whim an answer today, and that's what he'll get,"
"And you think that's going to solve everything!" Edith got up, she was walking to her and Amelia turned to the side, opening the door once more. Edith stopped dead in her tracks, and looked at the door insecure and angry. Amelia avoided her gaze altogether, and her expression showed the finality her heart felt; she was tired of arguing. Both sisters stayed still like stone statues, and the silence around them was cold and desolate.
"You are being unfair,"
"Yes, I'm the one that's unfair," Amelia repeated, "If that gives you peace of mind,"
"I know what you are trying to do! Making me feel guilty and avoiding to say what you feel altogether!"
"It may be," Amelia answered back, "Either way, it won't matter past today. This night will pass, and soon we'll forget that this ever happene-"
"-That shouldn't surprise me. Forgetting is your answer to everything!"
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"Edith,"
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Both sisters turned. At the door stood Carter Cushing himself. He looked at a half dressed Amelia, who searched fast for a peignoir to cover herself. Edith wiped her tears.
"Father, what is it?"
"I was about to ask you to go down and entertain our guests until your sister was ready... but I believe you need a moment," Edith looked down. "Also... I wish to speak to your sister alone,"
Without another word, Edith walked out of the room. With a sigh, Carter Cushing entered and closed the door behind him. He spared a side glance at the chair and belt that stood beside it and walked over to Amelia. This one remained nailed to the ground, her nerves already tense and beaten due to the discussion with Edith. Her father looked down at the dresses in deep thought. Then, with a smile, he turned to Amelia "If you'd like my opinion... I think the violet one will make you look gorgeous tonight." Amelia walked to the chair of her dressing table and let herself fall on it unceremoniously.
"Your opinion is well welcomed, father... I can't think of anything right now," she said, pinching the bridge of her nose. Her father approximated slowly, Amelia could hear him pulling a chair to seat next to her.
"Somehow... I have part of the blame in all of this, I'm sorry daughter," he said with a defeated sigh. Amelia sat straight.
"You have nothing to do with this. The ones who blew all this out or proportion is Edith and me,"
"Why you?" Amelia turned to him, "Because you had dinner yesterday with Mr. Sharpe?... Because, after all this years, you finally have another male friend that isn't my age... and isn't Alan," he puffed at his own joke. Amelia let out a sigh, looking troubled.
"Dinner was not all that happened. Thomas... Thomas confided me that he was not trying to be my friend but... but something more, and that's why Edith is out of herself, because she thought Thomas would say that to her and not me,"
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Her father remained silent, the seriousness of that admission showing in his expression. A moment later, he said "That doesn't explain why you think you are guilty of upsetting your sister,"
"I was convinced that Thomas had fallen for her. Clearly I've made a mistake," Her father puffed in mirth. "You think is silly, don't you?"
"Of course I do," he conceded, "My daughter, you made a mistake. That is indisputable..." Amelia shared a resigned smile, but Carter reached out to lift her face and make her look at him, "You have grown to expect to stay alone, and Edith has too. You made the mistake to forget that people's minds and hearts are things you cannot control,"
"I don't want to hurt her,"
"Edith might be smitten with Mr. Sharpe, but thinking that she'll never get any other prospect aside from him is contradicting your faith in your sister's beauty and intelligence," Carter pointed out. Amelia looked down, she hadn't thought of that before. Seeing he had managed something, Carter continued, "Mr. Sharpe... has that bearing that Edith hasn't seen before in American men. But I highly doubt that she'll remain that smitten forever,"
"Either way... I can't accept his affections. I don't think Edith would like that, nor do I expect you to bless our relationship if it continues," Carter made a face.
"Well... I still can't trust the man. But if he makes my pigeon wishfully smile like he did yesterday... I might give him another chance," Amelia wide-eyed, looking at her father had suddenly produced another head. At that expression Carter laughed, he patted her knee,
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"Amelia... you are free to choose and to love anyone you want to love,"
Amelia remained impassive, her watery eyes the only testimony of what those words meant to her. Mr. Cushing smiled fondly. "For all the years I've known you, I have never thought that I would see you trust someone new ever again. I hadn't realized how much I missed that open smile, those adorable blushes... or that spark in your eyes. Its as if your heart had fallen in a profound sleep since you were 15, and now... it's finally awakening," He caressed Amelia's cheek, and she cupped that hand within hers with love, "I may not like Sir Thomas Sharpe, but I can see the good he does in you and for your sake, I'm telling you now... I want you to forget me, forget Edith, and do as your heart desires,"
"What will happen today... after I accept? What will happen after?" Amelia said, her voice trembling.
"William and I will be alongside you the whole time,"
Amelia looked into her father's eyes for any kind of reserve. When she found none, she moved to hug him. Carter huffed amused, and returned the hug with warmth. When they parted, Amelia sniffed, but took a deep breath to calm herself. Then, she got up and took the violet dress with her.
At her movement, her father also moved to stand and left the room, not before giving his daughter one last glance. Amelia remained still only for a moment, before she finished changing.
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Thomas! You insufferable child! Stop fidgeting! You know how much I hate to see you trembling in place like a squirrel!
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He clutched his hat with too much force. It could be deformed, but Thomas didn't really care at this point.
He really didn't think this would happen so soon... or at all.
Yesterday, he was determined to let his feelings go and act as he had always been when he was after a new conquest -a new victim-... tell them what they want to hear, be want they wanted him to be. But at the moment he saw Amelia at the stairs, steeling herself to meet him, he doubted himself; when they began working alone he relaxed... and when she avoided his gaze at the Italian restaurant, his anger boiled renewed inside him.
He couldn't play it cool. He didn't want to be something that impressed Amelia. He wanted Amelia to like him... what was only him.
And before the carriage took her away, he couldn't help but say what he wanted to say... not what he was meant to tell her. And because of that, tonight it all boiled down to a "yes" or a "never" to a simple request as it was... just to let him win her heart.
Lucille wasn't even aware he was asking for so little.
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Thomas stole a glance at his sister, who looked past the carriage window, pale, pristine and beautiful in her dark blue gown. They arrived at the Cushing household and climbed down. The floor was slippery because of another sudden rain, he held his sister against him... she accepted the help and sneaked a hand around his waist and under his coat. He shivered at the touch, and deliberately parted when they climbed the steps to the door. In reminiscence, the entrance looked more illuminated than it did back when he saw Amelia climb in Alan McMichael's automobile.
The butler, Mr. DeWitt, came to answer, he recognized him and with a bow, offered to take his and his sister's coat as they stepped inside. They collided with Alan McMichael and Mr. Cushing, talking at the entrance of the living room.
"Sir Sharpe, Lady Sharpe," the old man greeted with a smile, "I apologize for not having sent formal invitations," he smirked, "my daughter tends to forget those little details,"
"The invitation came in the spur of the moment, Thomas was really happy to tell me," said Lucille, extending her hand to be kissed, she smiled... pretending animation, "and where is the lady in question?"
"She is just in time to greet you,"
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Thomas turned, at the last steps was Amelia, dressed in a violet silk gown, her hair in a bun that ended in a small cascade of tight curls that touched the back of her neck, a necklace made of gold and amethysts contrasted beautifully with the golden look of her skin. Thomas walked forward to take her hand.
"You look breathtaking," he whispered, brushing lips against her hand; his own trembling. Amelia stilled, surprised, and them gave him a little complicit smile. Thomas's gaze lingered for a moment, while Amelia turned to greet his sister.
"Lady Sharpe, it's so good to see you, I must say, dark blue suits you perfectly,"
"Thank you, Amelia, dear. I can say the same about your choice of colors tonight," she said with a charming smile. Amelia answered it just as fast, and her free arm looped around her father's extended took that as clue to let her go.
"My father chose the dress," the older man puffed his chest in pride. Amelia smiled, amused by her father's reaction, but... as Thomas has now learned to detect, her smile faltered for just a second. "Has Edith come down?"
"Yes, my pigeon, she's with Mr. Ferguson and Mr. Ogillvie,"
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Amelia raised her eyebrows impressed. If Thomas remembered correctly, that was the man that had rejected Edith's manuscript the first time.
"Well then, shall we go to the living room then," She said, her father excused himself to talk to the butler, and before Thomas had time to react, Alan McMichael had offered his arm for Amelia to take instead. Resigned, he did the same to his sister, who sweetly smiled at him and they walked to rest beside Amelia and Alan.
"Please tell me your mother and your sister are not here," Amelia suddenly commented, her voice less polite, her tone something more genuine. He could hear his sister giggle beside him. The McMichael boy let out a sigh.
"You know better than me that if that were the case, I either: 1) would not be here tonight, or 2) wouldn't be able to go home for at least a month," Amelia laughed.
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"Has she brought her flute?"
"Please, tell me she hasn't,"
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Amelia and Alan turned to Thomas, that had let that comment slip. He could feel the pressure on his sisters hand on his arm, and he knew he had made a mistake. He moved fast to say, "...I-I mean-"
"Hmphfufufu," Amelia covered her mouth before the fit of giggles was too obvious. Thomas looked confused at Alan, who tried to restrain a smirk.
"You don't like Flutes, Sir Sharpe?" he asked.
"I'm afraid I find the sound, even produced by the most talented musicians, quite unpleasant," Amelia cackled.
"Imagine... Imagine hearing Eunice," she said giggled again, "You'd fall dead!"
Thomas couldn't refrain a smile any longer. He turned to look at his sister, who only send a placid smile his way... along with a icy glare. He cleared his throat to sober.
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"I can only hope you have a piano at home, Amelia dear. I'm looking forward to that duet you mentioned the other day,"
"Oh!... Well, certainly Lady Lucille, we could do that after dinner," Amelia said with a smile. She spared an apologetic look at Thomas, and he had a feeling that they wouldn't be having a quiet moment to themselves.
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Then, they walked to the main living room. There wasn't much people to begin with. Thomas could recognize some of the men that were at his appointment with Carter Cushing. He recognized Mr. Rochester, and the lawyer, Ferguson, and the accountant. They greeted Amelia with the same vivacity than that day; Amelia looked more relaxed now, returning the comments with more enthusiasm. She moved to present him and Lucille, the serious welcomed him with a warmer gesture. Lucille was extra charming on his behalf; and Thomas used that moment to scan the room once again.
On a corner, he could spot a light yellow silk dress.
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One didn't have to be a genius to know what was going on. It was all a confusion he had some blame for; because, at first, he genuinely wanted to be friends with Amelia and preferred to court Edith instead.
Edith was attractive, sweet and intelligent, fragile and intriguing but also naive, and docile. If he really were to find another victim... one that couldn't be Eunice and her gullible mind, then it better be Edith... sweet and fragile Edith, that would move him to give her honest tenderness for as long as it could last. He was sure of it now, Amelia was different in his heart, even different than Enola. Amelia was someone he wanted to talk with; about his inventions, about his interests, about the weather... about anything. For once, he had a dangerous thought, he wanted Amelia for himself... as a friend, as nothing along side marriage; out of danger, out of his sister's eyes. This choice had been already taken away from him, but... if he had once again the chance to choose, he would leave her out. A friend... only as a friend who was close. But a feeling took lodge in the darkest and most unassuming part of his mind.
Because you didn't feel rage and resentment over the men a friend could have loved before. A friend didn't tremble in anticipation at the chance to touch her skin. A friend didn't demand attention to an exclusive level.
He was no longer sure how close was close enough.
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This thought danced in his mind when Edith Cushing turned and their gazes collided for a moment; a tortuous moment where, from that far, be could imagine the betrayal in her eyes. He looked away.
"...as I was saying to Thomas," he heard his sister say, and Thomas panicked. He turned to look at Amelia, who was directly looking at him. She smiled.
"We already have the budget, so that's good progress," commented Amelia. Oh, they were talking about the machine. Thomas smiled and accented, "the next step would be the contract... and then the measurement of the parts correctly,"
There was a small silence, before his sister... with a feline smile, turned to Amelia. "Is this a hint you'll be visiting England soon, Amelia?"
"I must confess I have great interest in seeing the full scale model personally, even if it's not finished, it must be quite impressive to watch," Amelia said with confidence. Thomas felt both excitement and apprehension.
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If everything went as his sister wanted it, Amelia would be going to Allerdale Hall regardless.
"You just came and you already want to leave? ... oh Amelia, dear; you must be a brave woman to be making those many trips on your own," Thomas turned, Ms. McMichael had approached them, along with Eunice.
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Perfect.
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Lucille greeted the woman with enthusiasm, Thomas had forgotten she had done nothing to ire the older woman... unlike him. He stole a glance at Amelia, whose smile had soured to become only a shaky thin of her lips. She recuperated fast, and the contrast between the sugary greeting and the firing rage in Amelia's eyes was something to behold. "It's not like things will happen from one day to another, Ms. McMichael; I still have plenty of time to enjoy my family and the things Buffalo has to offer,"
"Are you sure you won't be chasing our Baronet in tears after his trip back to England?"
"As strange as it may sound, Ms McMichael... Not all women consider a dignifying pursuit to chase men around the globe,"
Thomas bit his tongue... Alan McMichael didn't. He coughed, but Thomas could easily see the crease of his cheeks. Amelia remained impassive and Miss McMichael spared a predatory sneer at the host before excusing herself. At that moment, Amelia's father decided to come back, announcing that dinner would be served soon, and all guests were invited to go to the dining room. Alan McMichael excused himself and go after his mother; Amelia was left alone and Thomas didn't think it twice before offering his arm to her so that they could go to the dinning room together.
He purposely ignored the brown eyes that followed their trail to the dinning room.
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A cling of a crystal glass against metal caught the attention of the people around the table. Dinner had been simple but exquisite. Carter Cushing commenting on the sensible dish choices his daughter -that is Amelia- had made. The young woman had thanked him, but her expression... at least to Thomas... was bordering close to desperation, and it was all directed to Edith, who had barely touched her food, limited herself to talk to Alan and the other guests, and hadn't commented about Amelia's trip to Mexico. she ignored them... Amelia, him, and his sister. So, in the occasion of a call for a small speech, he felt it like a break of the tense atmosphere. Champagne was served and offered, while Carter himself cleared his throat, at the center of the room.
"My friends, you know I am not the best man for such a job as it is to give speeches," he began with a smile "but this is also the opportunity for the heart of a man and a father to express the biggest kind of happiness," he said sparing a look at Amelia "Five years have passed since my daughter decided to leave my side and explore the world. Five years, that had transformed a vivacious and intelligent young lady into an ambitious, decisive and motivated woman that we have here today. I couldn't be more proud of what my Amelia... my pigeon, has accomplished, and will accomplish!... in the years to come," he turned his glass to her, "Welcome back, my flower, to fill our lives with excitement once again... Cheers!"
"Cheers!"
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"Father, if that was an unprepared speech, am I to worry if you ever decide to run for president?" Amelia commented. Mr. Ferguson guffawed and Cushing smiled.
"Sweet talker," he commented, Amelia smiled with a little blush. "So, my pigeon... I was thinking that after dinner we could invite our guests to a little violin concert," his father suggested. Thomas, sat between the lawyer and his sister, spared a look at Edith. This one looked back at him, and averted her eyes just as fast.
"Actually, Lady Lucille and I wanted to make a duet for some time now, perhaps this is the best opportunity," Amelia commented.
"I would be delighted, Amelia has told me you also have a piano at home,"
"Ah yes, it was a favorite from my deceased wife;" commented Carter, "Well, then. Let us finish our dessert and invite the guests to the salon,"
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Thomas turned to look at Amelia, her expression cordial but still tense. He looked at her directly for a moment, until she turned her brown gaze at him. Her expression, clear in her eyes, told a story of deep sorrow. The dessert ended, and Amelia stood from the seat of honor to invite everyone to the salon. People thanked the food and started moving, Edith excused herself fast, and felt the room. With swift movements, Thomas blended himself into the crowd to follow behind.
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~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~
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"Amelia, dear,"
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Amelia felt a hand on her forearm, and almost jumped startled. She turned with a smile to Lucille, that had a sweet smile in return. "I was wondering what kind of musical piece you had in mind,"
"Oh... well, I was about to ask you the same thing," Amelia confessed, "I heard you play the other day at the McMichaels, I'm proud to say we have similar tastes. However, I still wonder if you are open to arragements,"
"As long as it's not Franz Liszt," said Lucille and Amelia laughed, "...or Paganini,"
"Well, said. Although, I have some experience with Paganini; i don't like to be a show-off,"
"That makes the two of us," Lucille said with a cordial smile, and Amelia was almost moved to think there was a spot of mirth in her eyes. But it was gone was fast as it came, and the pleasant facade the young woman always sported was back in place.
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Amelia's instincts couldn't help but remind her to thread carefully.
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"... how about something from Saint-Saëns? Specifically, George Bizet's arrangement of his Opus 28, Introduction and rondo capriccioso?"
"Modern enough, difficult enough. It sounds adequate to me-" Lucille was answering with a feline smile, when Amelia's father got close.
"So my ladies, have you chosen something to delight us with tonight?"
"yes, father. Though the sheets are back at the studio... and the piano needs to be checked for tuning,"
"I can take care of that my pigeon, take your time; we'll hold some dance pieces for the moment," her father assured her, "Lady Lucille, would you like to accompany me, or my daughter?"
"I thank your invitation sincerely, but I'd like to accompany Amelia," she took Amelia by the arm at the moment she said this, "... and get used to the piano arrangement,"
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Her father left them to it. And Amelia walked out from the dinning room and into a long corridor that gave to a small inner garden; an array of tropical plants enclosed in a glass mini greenhouse, with a skylight on the ceiling, arranged so that the moonlight could fall directly on top of it. However, it had been a rainy afternoon, and the clouds made it look completely dark, the lights on the walls from the corridors that encircled it the only light that could shine.
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"Amelia, there is something I wish to talk to you about,"
Ah, so it was that. Amelia tried to hide her apprehension; this was a conversation she didn't want to have before having expressed her sentiments to Thomas. And now that Edith's good graces were on the line, she was even less ready than the day at the Italian restaurant. The last thing she wanted was to discuss this with Lucille. The older sister.
"Certainly, Lady Lucille,"
They walked slowly and Lucille took a moment longer before starting again, "I better be honest with you, Amelia dear. My little brother has taken a liking to you- No," she said with a little smile, "He's smitten, certainly,"
"Well-" Lucille cut her off.
"You also have a younger sister and I bet you understand... my only wish in life is for him to be happy,"
"In understand Lady Lucille, and I feel the same way," Amelia said a pang of pain firm in her chest.
"This is why I want you to be honest with me now... as I've been honest with you," she stopped and looked at Amelia, her face showing a worried and almost desperate expression, "Please confide in me, tell me what your feelings for my brother are,"
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Amelia... you are free to choose and to love anyone you want to love
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"Thomas is special to me," started Amelia, "I don't know how to explain it, but I felt that our meeting was somehow... destined. He fills my heart in a way that no one has ever filled it before, but..."
"but?"
Amelia took a deep breath, "But my sister, Edith, will probably give you a more definite answer. Something that you'd expect to hear,"
Lucille said nothing, her expression a mix of confusion and worry. Amelia could not stand it, and looked away. "You mean to say, Edith has fallen in love with Thomas?"
"Lady Lucille... I-I apologize, for what this might cause to Thomas, but I can't! I can't search for my happiness at the expense of my sister's heart-!" Amelia covered her mouth, her composure crumbling. She leaned on the veranda, desperately trying to hide her face. She could not confront it, Lucille's gaze... because there was something in her, something similar to Sebastian, that had moved her to speak the truth she was trying to hide from others. Amelia heard the fru-fru of Lucille's dress, and she knew the English lady was standing next to her.
"Since I was younger, I've always wondered to whom Thomas took upon. My father was handsome, but not beautiful... he didn't have that unearthly beauty that Thomas possessed," Amelia, still trembling, turned to Lucille in surprise, "It was a blessing, to see his smile... but also a curse; because he was envied and hated, he was bullied and tormented. When he was of age, many women obsessed, many hearts were broken." Lucille turned to her with a small smile, and posed her hand over Amelia's; "Because I've seen it happen before, I can assure it to you now. Edith is not the woman for Thomas, because like those women... she doesn't see past his beauty. Amelia, dear; a sister knows, I also believe that your reunion was meant to be,"
Amelia wide eyed, and her head imperceptibly shook in denial.
"I'll talk to Edith. She seems like a young lady that will listen to reason," Lucille said, "You've answered to me, and now I know that you love my brother, more than you even realize," Amelia looked down, and Lucille vended over, following her gaze, "I've always believed that, no matter the cost, one has the right to follow their desired of their hearts. Why would you have to be any different?" Amelia wide-eyed, "Will you allow me to help you?"
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forget me, forget Edith, and do as your heart desires
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"...yes," Her eyes lifted once again, and they met with the grin of the English lady. "Yes, I will. Th-thank you, Lady Lucille,"
"Just call me Lucille,"
"Lucille," Amelia corrected fast, and shared a small smile with the young woman. A giddy feeling lodged in her chest, thinking that maybe she had judged the English woman wrong, and she was actually a good person.
"i think we need to distract ourselves," Lucile smiled, "Why don't we go to the studio, show me where the music sheets are, and then... check the violin and the piano are ready for your duet,"
"Oh great," Amelia said, letting out a sigh, "My violin, i left it upstairs,"
"Don't worry, you can leave me with the piano sheets and go to get it. I prefer a little solitude when preparing for playing. i bet you like the same," she offered. Amelia smiled, recuperating her usual demeanor, and they entered the studio.
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Thomas hurried his pace the moment he noticed a purple silk turning the corner to join once again the ballroom of the mansion. He called out to Amelia, who turned right when a maid opened the door, bowing to her mistress. Thomas hurried his pace.
"Yes, Jane thank you,"
"Should I bring it here, Miss Amelia?"
"No, leave it beside the piano, have Adam check it for loose strings," Amelia turned, and her expression still showed that reserve and sorrow. She looked mentally tired, and Thomas felt a painful pang in his chest. "Thomas,"
"Amelia, I was hoping you could spare a moment to talk in private," He asked politely. The main excused herself and closed the door. Once again, the darkness of the veranda surrounded them. The candle lights gave yellowed Highlights to her silk dress... and now it looked brown rather than violet.
"I was hoping for that too," she sighed, "I think that, by now, you have an idea of what's going on..."
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"I talked with Edith," he announced, and Amelia turned in a jump, her face showing literal panic. Thomas shared a tender smile, "I thought that it would be better if I apologized personally, for any misunderstanding my actions might have caused... and by extension, any arguments they might have provoked between you two," She let out another sigh, she walked forward, and let her hands rest in the veranda. Thomas followed behind her, and a sudden fear invaded him.
He didn't want Amelia to reject him because of a sense of guilt. He would do what was necessary, be it crush Edith's heart in pieces. Fragile and gentle Edith, who had picked up on his first advances faster than any lady had before. It was only ironic that the lady he wanted to notice him, had been the most elusive.
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"I talked to your sister," It was Amelia's turn to make him look panicked. She smiled, her expression a combination of amusement and tenderness, "She's as protective of you as father is of Edith,"
"What did she say?" He already knew what she said. Thomas was trying to hide his sudden fear; How much did Lucille know now? How much longer until she realized that he wanted to genuinely win over Amelia's affection? How much until she realized he had deviated from her plans?
"She told me she would talk to Edith, and that I should accept your feelings for me," She looked down, the scarce candlelight not allowing him to know if she was blushing, but subconsciously wishing she was.
"Would you?"
"I... i don't want to loose you, just because I'm afraid,"
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"The great Amelia Cushing, afraid?... of me?"
Amelia smiled, and turned her eyes to him... a pleasant spark shone on them. "I know you are not trying to make fun of me, but it's still annoying," she moved to play with her necklace, "I'm afraid of this... you know? It's been a while, for many years, I've considered that I would never find another romantic partner again. I still think that,"
"That's what you meant the other day at the park?" Thomas frowned, "Forgive my impertinence, but... Is this because of Sergeant Harrington?"
"It is,"
"Forgive me, but I can't stand it," Amelia turned to him surprised, "It's unfair! You shouldn't tie yourself to him, thinking that because he is gone there's no more chance for you to find someone to love you, cherish you... and for you to be happy. Be it with me or someone else," She smiled again, but it did nothing to appease the anger he was feeling. "I might not know the story that ties you two, it's true. But I don't need to; I only need to look at you,"
He moved to lift her chin. She let her face be lifted and that docility was his undoing. The night concealed both their reflections, and that gave him the courage to say what he wanted, what he felt, what he most desired. For a moment, he let his feelings run wild, just like when he was a small child and he didn't know better than to irritate his parents; just like when he was a teenager and he accepted with wishful pride the compliments other ladies sent his way. Amelia had said it herself, she didn't love him still, but she didn't want to loose his friendship either. For Thomas that was enough, because he was as jaded and selfish like his sister, because his heart wasn't generous... and he was willing to do anything, so that Amelia would only show this side of herself to him.
.
"Dance with me," he asked... no, ordered. Amelia frowned in confusion; Thomas stepped back and took her hands in his, guiding her to the center of the veranda.
"Here?" he moved her hands to waltz position. Amelia shared a little smile, "I has rained today, we both know how it went last time,"
"Will you deny me?"
"Somehow... when it's about you, I have a hard time not indulging your requests," she admitted, and Thomas felt a jolt of pleasure course trough him. This was a woman that could destroy another person with her gaze alone, a woman that could say the most hurtful and disrespectful words with a mischievous smile; this was the woman that didn't trust, whose gaze had an intensity that commanded respect. And yet, she couldn't help but listen to his requests. His chest filled with pride, a warm feeling took lodge in his heart, it was a peace and excitement that he had only felt once in his life...; when he was in Milan, and he had sneaked to the ceiling to lay down and receive for a heartbeat's moment the generous rays of the sun.
.
He pulled her closer; the hand that usually grazed the middle of the back, sneaked its way to rest a little lower; the hand that gently puller the one of it's partner to lead and create a safe distance, now pulled it's sister with a steadfast hold. Their bodies pressed against each other, and Thomas could feel Amelia shiver. Her breath grazed his lips and he smiled.
"A little closer than expected," she whispered.
"I'm making sure you don't slip and fall again," he whispered back. The position left little to no space for grandiose twists and turns, and they opted to slowly lead each other around the obscured hallway.
"May I ask, Sir Sharpe, which variation of the waltz is this,"
"It isn't, I don't think we'd be allowed to dance this close in the open," Amelia giggled, and her breath ticked his lips once again.
The tease.
The music was so far away, so out of rhythm to their gentle back and forth. Instinctively the hand that held Amelia's retracted and guided it to rest close to his shoulder. It was intriguing, inviting, how they could manage to dance despite tangling their limbs against each other. Amelia didn't comment on the fact she had followed his lead form the start, he didn't either; his thoughts were too distracted on the soft sensation of hot air around his lips. Thomas looked down, at the object that tempted him, and looked right up... his eyes dancing around, searching for an opening in Amelia's expression, a silent permission that could allow him to go on.
But she was doing the same, asking with her wandering eyes if there was something she should be doing. Thomas smiled then, feeling as if it was the first.
"Would you deny me?"
"I... don't want t-,"
She hadn't finished talking, when Thomas dipped in, and gently bushed his lips against her own. She closed her eyes, and reached even further. A movement of the head had them locking their mouths together, it was not invasive or passionate... but Thomas felt something ignite in his chest. His gaze followed the tremble of Amelia's closed eyelids and suddenly... he was hypersensitive to her chest pressed against his, to the friction of her hands against his neck, of the skirt that had tangled itself in between his legs. He blushed, and his eyes half closed, his mind imagining a moment in time when she'd succumb to this delicious feeling alongside him, and wouldn't hesitate to deepen the contact between them.
It was sweet, unnerving, inciting. He wouldn't have known that so little contact could leave him short-breathed. He hated kisses;... but this was not hate.
The blissful moment ended as fast as it came. Amelia parted, and he longed; pressing his forehead against her own, he pleaded... he begged, he longed. They had stopped dancing, and their arms remained still in a loosen embrace. Thomas smiled, Amelia had accepted; and now he was certain that remaining friends would be impossible if he wanted to keep his sanity.
.
From afar, the door to the grand salon closed, the tail of a dark-blue silk dress behind it.
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