Note: There's a mild self harm scene in this chapter, I put a notice before it starts and a notice to where it ends!
The next day was better for me, Leon wasn't there in first period and we played volleyball again in gym which didn't bother me because I was pretty good at it. At lunch Bella couldn't stop bobbing her foot up and down so I asked her what was wrong. "I was going to confront Edward today." I nodded, a little bit shocked at her declaration of confrontation. Bella was a little bit of a coward sometimes except back in Pheonix when people would bully me, but when it came to herself she usually just let things slide. "I'm honestly sure it's nothing, I mean think about it Edward and Leon both aren't here. Maybe they're just having a hard time or something. I mean what are the odds we did something so bad both of them skipped school." Bella nodded but didn't say anything in response. The rest of lunch her and I were silent, Jessica and Mike were fine with doing all of the talking.
That night we figured out Charlie couldn't make much except eggs and bacon so Bella offered to be the cook of the house which Charlie accepted whole heartedly. But that brought us to our next point, there was no food in the house. Bella grabbed some money from the "Food money" jar and I grabbed my own wallet, knowing going into a grocery store when I haven't eaten in a few days was sure to conjure up some serious spending. Thriftway surprised me, they had a pretty good selection of food selection not quite as good as the store back home, it didn't have an international section so if we wanted anything special we'd have to order it online. After grabbing so many things Bella just told me to grab my own cart, which I did in embarrassment maybe I didn't need everything I was getting. No, you need to get it, we told ourselves we'd eat more often. By the end my cart was just full of snack foods, luckily the store had some clear bins on sale that I could put it all in under my bed.
When we got home I helped Bella put the groceries up and then took all my snacks up to my room, shoving them in the clear bin and placing them underneath my bed for later. That night we had steak and potatoes, Bella and Charlie talked about the Cullens who Charlie had nothing but good things to say about them. Apparently their dad, Carslile was a brilliant surgeon and did the town a great favor by being there.
The rest of the week was boring to say the least, Leon and Edward didn't come to school and I could see it was making Bella nervous despite me trying to reassure her nothing was wrong. We got invited to La Push beach on the Quileute reservation in two weeks. Which I was super down, especially that Eric talked about surfing. That would be fun to try. By Friday Bella had calmed down and our first weekend in forks went without any inconveniences other than it being boring.
That morning I skipped breakfast, opting to stay upstairs until I heard the dishes being rinsed in the sink and then heading straight for the truck. I had a sinking feeling as if something bad was going to happen at school, probably just nerves, it did that back in Pheonix all the time. Everything was fine until he walked in, Leon. Seeing him stand really put him into perspective, he was tall around six foot three and had broad shoulders that looked like he could be a linebacker. He wore a short sleeved black shirt that seemed to tug on his biceps and defined chest and stomach… Maybe he should wear a bra. I blushed at the thought of someone who looks the stereotypical beefed up teenage boy wearing a bra.
My thoughts were impared by the fact that Leon didn't stop at the seat he had sat in the week before, he sat right next to me which just proved my hatred for free seating, anybody could torment you any time they wanted. I could feel the air inside me get sucked in my throat just as it did that first day, I shut my eyes and forced myself to inhale very slowly after a few tries I got it and I was breathing normally. I looked down at my hands underneath my desk, picking at the nailbed of my right thumb.
"Felix, your phone, please." I perked up at Mr. Jefferson.
"Oh um, I actually don't have my phone, it's in my bag."
"Then what are you playing with under your desk?"
"My thumbs sir, I'm sorry."
"Okay well you need to stop fidgeting then, it's distracting."
I could feel the heat rising to my face, I'm sure my cheeks were flushed tomato red. I forced my left hand in between my leg and the chair and used my right hand to take notes. Out of the corner of my eye I could see Leon clenching his fist. Had my fidgeting seriously upset him that badly? Why did he choose to sit next to me if I bothered him that much. When the bell rang he was the first person out of the classroom. English went fine, we had a quiz on Withering Heights but it was easy, if you had read the assigned chapters you probably passed. Gym was easy again, we played kickball which was a nice change of pace. Then it was off to lunch.
I sat next to Bella like always and she nudged me a little bit and pointed her head towards the table of the Cullen family, Edward was there today as well. "Okay." I took a minute before taking a deep exhale and standing up.
"Where are you going?" Jessica had asked me but her voice was muffled in my ears. I took a few second before I turned towards the desolate table the Cullens sat at and I slowly walked towards it. They were all laughing, I'm assuming at Emmet's joke as he was the one they were all looking at.
"Excuse me, Edward?" The brown haired boy looked up at me, his brown eyes seemed to look straight through mine as if he was reading my exact thoughts. "Uh, my name's Felix, I'm Bella's brother. I don't know what she did that was so bad to upset you but I believe maybe you should apologize to her." My voice was a little above a whisper, loud enough that only their table could hear.
"It must have been a misunderstanding, but I'll apologize anyways for making her uncomfortable."
"Um, right, okay. Well, thank you." He didn't respond so I quickly turned on my heels again and sat down.
"What was that about?" Eric quizzed.
"Uh we thought maybe Edward didn't like Bella because he was asking to change classes after our first day but he said it was just a misunderstanding."
"Yeah? Well now he's staring at her, but he doesn't look upset." Jessica giggled a bit.
"Don't look!" Bella hissed.
The rest of lunch I sat in silence while the rest of the group talked. Trigonometry sucked, I didn't really understand anything that was going on no matter how many notes I seemed to take, I'd have to ask Bella for help.
Leon was there in biology before I got there, as I sat down Mr. Banner was passing out microscopes and slides, Mitosis was written on the chalkboard at the front of the class. Thank god this would be easy since I've already done this lab. When the bell rang Mr. Banner immediately began to explain that each table would have to correctly label each stage of mitosis without the book. "You can go first." He slid the microscope in front of me to which I put my eye up to the lense, it didn't take me very long to know which one it was.
"Prophase."
"Let me check." He pulled the microscope towards him and nodded, labeling the slide and then putting the next one in. "Anaphase." He slid the microscope towards me, I put on the next slide and began to examine it.
"Interph-"
"You know that was awful brave of you at lunch… To stick up for your sister like that."
I froze in my seat, afraid to look up from the slide. "She would've done the same for me." I managed to choke out, I could feel the blood leaving my face. He was going to beat me up over confronting his brother, I knew it was a bad idea.
"Are you scared of me? You look like you're going to jump out of your seat and run away."
"Maybe a little bit. You're a lot bigger than me… and probably a lot stronger."
He took the microscope from me and checked the slide, grinning as if he was happy I was scared of him. "You're right, it's interphase." We both sat in silence for the rest of class until Mr. Banner came and checked our answers.
"Did you think to give Felix a chance, Leon?"
"He actually got two of the answers right."
"Were you in advanced placement like your sister?" I nodded to him and he smiled. "I guess just like her you're lucky to be paired with Leon. You guys can chat quietly."
We were both silent for another thirty minutes before Leon finally spoke. "You know, you're right. I am stronger than you…" He paused before he spoke again. "And you should be scared of me." The bell rang right after he was finished, as if he had been counting down to the very second to make some type of statement and again, he was the first out the door.
The drive home was silent, when we got home I wasted went straight up to the bathroom to take a shower. I breathed deeply as I let the scorching water run down my back until the water ran cold. "You should be scared of me" I mumbled to myself the words Leon had told me earlier. However this felt different, the threat didn't instil a certain fear in me, it brought me excitement.
- SELF HARM SCENE -
I looked down at the razor sitting in the soap box of the tub. Did I want to do it? I promised Renee I'd never do it again because she forced me to go to therapy. I picked up the razor and ran it in-between my index finger and thumb before slowly running the blade against my wrist. My breath shook at the relief that came from seeing the crimson liquid mix and dilute with the shower water. When I was done I hid the razor back in the soap box stood under the water until the blood clotted and stopped.
- END SELF HARM SCENE -
I turned the shower off and used my hand to wipe the fog off of the shower mirror, I stood in front of it sideways looking at myself. I had a little bit of extra weight with a muscular physique. When I felt like I had stared at the mirror long enough to burn holes in it I dried off my body and wrapped the towel around my waist and went to my bedroom, closing the door behind me. I sat on the edge of the bed for a minute before putting on black sweatpants and a hoodie on. I put on my slippers and headed downstairs to watch tv but Charlie had already claimed it and was watching the game. I decided to sit in the kitchen where Bella was making dinner. "So anything happen after lunch?"
"Oh, yeah. Edward apologized and we talked about us moving here to forks. He's really interesting, I think."
"That's good… It's nice he did that."
"What did you really want to ask?"
"When do you think mom will hire movers to send us our stuff?"
"Uhhh, you know, I actually don't know. I'll have to ask her in my next email."
"Okay. I really miss my tv." Bella nodded in agreement, putting a plate of steak and potatoes in front of me.
"Thanks." I poked the potatoes around in my plate in between bites, when I thought I'd have enough to satisfy them I thanked Bella again and went to my room, closing the door behind me.
That night I had a horrible nightmare, Bella and I were running and I was dragging her behind me. A shadow was chasing us through the forest, I couldn't see it running but every time I looked back the figure was closer. I could feel my boots sticking in the mud with every leap that I took. Bella kept tripping and I'd just continue to drag her as she caught her footing. I was cold but the sensation of sweat dripping down my face and neck was nothing compared to the burning in my lungs. How long had we been running? Whatever was chasing us could clearly catch us. Was it toying with us? Was this a game to it? I was so distracted by the thoughts in my head I didn't realize I'd let go of Bella's hand, thankfully she was right behind me still when I checked. When I turned back around to keep running I realized there was another shadow, and then another and then five more from either side. We weren't being chased... We were being corralled into a specific area. We were trapped. Bella and I stood back to back, only when we had stopped had I realized it was raining and that every fiber in my being ached, my legs burned and my throat felt like someone had branded it. Slowly the eight shadow figures came closer, and the shadow image that had been chasing us became clear, it was Edward. One of the shadows that had appeared in front of us moved towards me, it moved so fast if I had blinked it would've looked like teleportation. When I looked up at the figure its face became clear, standing in front of me was Leon.