The light of the sun kept things warm enough, defused by the gray slab of clouds that spanned the sky. But with each step taken, she trembled. The wind bit at her clawless paws, the snow creeping its way into every crevasse of the fat scars that remained. Her long, black fur was dotted with snow, as was the mud-brown medicine vest strapped to her back. The bags that floated on each side swayed as the cat slowly padded through the thick. Her ears twitched. She darted behind a pile of red stone and flattened them. Her body shuffled itself downward until the bags were touching the ground. The whistle turned into a scream that boomed above her. She creaked her head up in time to glimpse the shadow streak across the sky. The subtle turn it was making did not complete before it was out of sight. As the whistling quieted, she stood herself up and continued forward. Carefully shaking to not let the bags shift too much, she brushed the snow away from the bald spots near her belly. Her destination was in sight.
She cleared her throat. "They aren't supposed to fly that low."
There were no monsters on the thunderpath, just a thin veil of snow. Not a twoleg in sight. She did not bother looking both ways when she crossed, but she did glance up every few heartbeats. Even if they were just silhouettes, she knew they were there. They were screeching loud enough for the rats to be out of sight. On the other side lay a statue tall enough to block the view of the twolegplace behind her. Its stone was unusually shaped compared to the form of those who created it. But she was not looking directly at it. Instead, she was focused on a small part of the base. She walked around until she saw it. The mark of the achse twolegs. The 'X' had a small line coming from its ends, facing right for all four. She swiveled her head backwards; the same mark adorned each side of her vest's bags. Nodding, she sat at eye level of the mark.
"It's hard to find this symbol sometimes." She cleared her throat again. "The achse twolegs are gone, and the ones who replaced them really hate it. This berlin defiantly isn't the same one Panzer described."
She rested her paw on the symbol as the sky-monsters were doubling back. Ears flattened and chest in the snow, she waited for them to scream by and out of sight. She left herself partially buried for a bit longer, listening for their distance. She gagged, putting her chest into it. Coughing up a bit of bile, she cleared her throat again.
"Don't worry, Littlestar. I'm much healthier than I look or sound. Just extra brought into the den to groom last night. They got me thinking about LeafClan, and the state we left hamburg in. We have received no word from them besides what Flyfoot told us – hard to believe she's one of my friends now. Even if she doesn't act like it…"
She took a deep breath and ran her tail across the back of her neck; three rigid dents stood out, no fur.
"Yeah, I still think about that." She whispered, glancing about. "On the bright side, the twolegs must've rebuilt it by now. How magnificent it must look. The field you were buried in is probably been turned back into grassland or something, much better than that wasteland we… wait. I was saying something about LeafClan."
Her tail wiggled in front of her face.
"Right!" she shouted, covering her mouth and shutting her eyes. Clearing her throat again, she dropped her tail. "Sometimes I can forget my face fur is white. I was talking about disease. Last time I snuck out to talk to you, the blackcough was just a few cases. Now we have a few dozen cases. And more come in every single night. They're scared that the cat in our backlands has given it to them. Some prophet incarnate, they call her. I don't know. StoneClan was never a real clan. Never followed a warrior code and never followed ancestral pawsteps. Not like the ones here. Nothing like the ones here… um…"
She moved herself away from the symbol, never letting her tail away from the statue's base. The sky-monster was slower this time. She closed her eyes and rolled her ears upward. She took in the whistle it made underneath the screeches and booms tearing through the sky. A few deep breaths calmed her down when it started fading to the wind.
"Um… speaking of real clans, they're in real trouble. Both of them." She glanced around again, taking cautious steps forward. "These clans never got along. The fact that Heavyclaw leaving just a day earlier meant he ended up in a different clan. Didn't face all the problems along the way, either – not that it was your fault! I don't blame you for that. It was hard to leave you there and harder to watch you die, but I would've never forgiven myself if I just left you alone. Neither would the others. I don't know much about the ones on Heavyclaw's side. Whose still alive, who isn't. UnderClan is very secretive. And if they are alive, they're probably hidden away underground like the rest of their senior members. It's been so long since I've seen Blueclaw or Burn or any of them. I pray I get to see them in my lifetime. That they're still alive. And that this war between us and them just ends… yeah. I can say that. I don't care how long or what they're fighting for. I just want to see my friends…"
Her ears swiveled back up. She shook the snow off her and cleared her throat again.
"I get distracted easily. Especially after the Axin Mess – I never told you that, did I?" The she-cat's tail rolled at the tip. "They call it the Axin Mess. Can you believe it? It's supposed to be Achse Tragedy. But they can't say achse properly. Can't blame them; not every clan had a Panzer. But it makes it seem like it was your fault. That uniting the three hamburg groups against LeafClan was their demise. Makes me a bit irritated. I don't like being irritated or mad. I'm fine being happy, sad… melancholy. Something in between, I don't know. Panzer didn't teach me everything."
She cleared her throat, padding back towards the 'X' mark.
"Blackcough is running through the camp, everyone is superstitious of a prophet kit, we're locked in war, and there's no twolegs to force it off with their own problems." She reached the mark, resting her forehead against it. "Sometimes I just wish there was nothing. That we never found this clan, that the snake-monster never had a path here. No war, no bridge, no separation, just us. Time to just be with each other before we all go to StarClan. Time I never got with you."
Her face curled up, eyes tightly shut. Her breath in was broken, but she held it. Ears swiveled up, then down. She exhaled.
"And somewhere without these sky-monsters those… hornet-brained twolegs! Darting about at random times…"
Another deep breath calmed her. Her face let itself relax, and she kept her forehead on the mark and opened her eyes. Her tail found itself on the back of her neck again, running over the three bald dents.
"It doesn't always heal right… but things can change. We have your kin to look forward to… Christa's kin, of course, but she has your defect. I don't know what good a scentless medicine cat will do in all this, but she's off at her ceremony right now with Flyfoot. With StarClan still not speaking to us, I don't know how it will go. Our seniors don't care. They just need another healer. She is to take on traditional ancestor naming, so she should be Blackleaf when I see her again. Despite her… growing pains, I'm still proud of her. She would've made a fine addition to StoneClan."
Her ears darted up; the wind was giving way to more distant screeching. She shook her fur one last time before backing away from the statue.
"I can only stand so much of this while outside. As usual, thanks for keeping Wolfgang, Flyfoot, and Christa around with me. Hope Karl is spreading the word of the Achse Tragedy wherever he is. Keep an eye on Whitestar, Flaum, and Shortfang until my time comes to see them. And I know she can be mean, but try to keep Panzer company. She'd really appreciate it."