I'm sitting at the computer in the library, legs swinging, I'm meant to be researching, but wrackspurts are a real problem in Hogwarts, so I'm looking through the internet. There's a recommendation, Pro-ana boot camp. A boot camp? Online? I click on it and there's a table of contents, what is this?, about me, a letter from ana. I click on a letter from ana. Let's see what what Ana has to say, she might have some good advice, maybe on finding Crumple-horned snorkacks! Dad would be pleased.
What I see instead shocks me, it's someone criticizing every inch of me, it seems. Everyone's lying to me? So… they're not my true friends? My dad.. he doesn't love me? My mum's disappointed in me? And I thought I'd found friends that accepted me! They think I'm fat? Could Ana be my friend?
"Luna? What are you looking at?" Hermione comes over and glances on the screen. A frown comes over her face. "Get off that, Luna, it's encouraging Anorexia!" Hermione hisses and I click off in alarm. I don't know what's Anorexia, the name never came up before, but I'm not sure I like the sound of it. I leave the library, but Ana's words still echo around my head, far more hurtful than Draco, Pansy, any Slytherin put together. I could brush them off because I knew that they're words were nothing. But this… this-it feels like the truth.
I stand in front of the mirror, I can't believe what I see. It feels like the first time I see the real me. Or are the wrackspurts getting to my head? I pinch the sides of my hips. Look at how fat you are, you pig, do you ever exercise? A voice whispers. A tear slips down my face.
Why didn't anyone tell me? I could have fixed it earlier, I really could! But now, I know the truth, no one cares about me, it was all pretend and I believed it. Well, that's going to change. It's OWL year, maybe I could add some more work on improving myself? I nodded to myself. Let's see, I could wake up earlier, count my calories, 400 is enough, Ana says, exercise that away in two hours, I could try coping some of Ginny's workouts, couldn't I? Look up some good exercises. Maybe then, no one would laugh at me, leave me in peace. Maybe.
Day one:
Breakfast: Nothing, everything just seemed to be bigger somehow, all laughing at me, I had a glass of water, no one noticed, no one ever does, I could live in the forbidden forest and no one would notice.
I'll update at lunch, I saw some salad, I can have that.
That's my life, but maybe, with Ana's help, I could change that, be loved.
Maybe.
Author's note
So this is my first time writing this sort of thing, I saw a video about anorexia and a Pro-ana website, I checked it out, and it was honestly so sad, the content and the website are here. I thought about if someone had seen it, then 'Ana' creeps in, the person has no real understanding of Anorexia, only heard the name, falls into the trap. I've never had an eating disorder, but I'm researching, so it's as believable as possible. So please review.
Cya! :)