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Chapter 16 Paging Doctor Belikov, Broken revelation July,

RPOV

One thing I have never seen before in my life is Alberta falling apart. She never gives up a fight, where others have decided it is a losing battle she sees possibilities. Her attitude was one that everyone could learn from if you ask me. She made the best of the worst situation. Always patient when I wasn't. Ready to throw everything out of the window desperate she made me see there is always another way. Even though she wasn't prepared for me she took me in. Many things we do as a child we forget. Our brain isn't capable of storing memories at that age. Which can be a curse or a gift. When my parents died I threw a fit the size of Alaska. An outburst of children on tv seemed harmless compared to my attitude. You know the ones where a nanny comes to save the day. I remember the anger. Disbelieve of them not coming back.

Any person would back up letting professionals take over. They would only see an ungrateful child. How was I supposed to accept at that age I was alone. Now I know better, nothing I did would have changed anything. So many what-ifs will always nag at me. Thinking back at that moment I am lucky.

That moment of emptiness she studied me. When she approached I started throwing things. The woman from child services wanted to intervene. She stopped them with a simple shake of her head. Alberta dropped to her knees then started to hum a nursery rhyme my mother used to sing. Silently I watched her never stopping once to look at me. Her aura seemed to change that very moment. As if my parents told me it was ok. So I crawled onto her lap then held on to her so tight the fabric of her shirt almost ripped. Ending my tantrum of several hours. What I wanted was warmth, not a bunch of toys to keep me quiet.

So to see her pass out I want to go to her. Fearing I will lose her too. Without much thought, I jump off the bed dragging my IV cart with me. Pretty sure I slammed it into a few people. Taking her from Mason's arms I start to rock her back and forth. Humming that very same song she once calmed me down with. Her eyes flutter open then she starts crying. To tell you truth I don't know how long we sat there on the floor. All I know is that I kept praying for him not to take her. What if this all was too much for her to take? So I told him that I was going to do better this time. Not to punish her for my reckless behavior. Keep the fire inside her burning. That Celeste had to be ok.

When hands grab me I start to put up a fight. Begging to let me go. When his scent however enters my noise the words he says softly don't even matter. That alone is enough to calm me. He is my home, I need him to glue me back together when I fall apart. So I put my trust in him, cause without it we were never going to move forward. Relaxing I lean on him. I hear him speak slowly 'She is ok, just in shock Milaya.' Letting him lift me up he sits on the bed with me in his lap while nurses are checking her vitals. Stroking his face I trace an invisible line from his nose to his lips. Acting on impulse I kiss them, they feel like velvet so smooth. A softness that is providing me comfort. His eyes convey so many emotions right now. His hard shell is crumbling letting me feel the love he always tucked away. Protecting it from being hurt. Dimitri is doing this for me. Reassuring me again he isn't going anywhere. He truly worries, I was wrong, for once in my life I am glad. Leaning against him I take a deep breath. Needing to hear the full story 'Tell me what happened'

Explaining everything to me I cringe. From the point to how he met her in the ambulance to the accident. He doing his best to tell me as much as he can. The lack of sleep is making his mind foggy. Explaining several times he was going to tell me when we were alone. Apologizing over and over I understand why he waited. Everything didn't go exactly as planned. Guess that is the story of my life.

Moments later Dimitri takes Alberta to see Celeste leaving me by myself. Others are taking a moment to breathe it was a little much. Tomorrow is going to be a big day. There is only so much excitement I can handle for one day. Secretly I am glad they decided to wait with their speeches. Then again it also makes me a little anxious. It has given me an extra day to think about what exactly they plan to say. What if all of it is bad? When you are confronted with your actions it is hard to swallow. Sometimes it is needed though to see how our behavior has an effect on others. Lost in thought I don't realize I have a visitor.

A girl around the age of 14 or so enters my room. She wears a white dress with angel wings on the back. Twirling she smiles then stumbles a bit. Taking a closer look I see her legs are having a hard time carrying her weight. Which is odd seeing she is a little on the thin side, maybe that is the problem. 'Your room is very booooring.' Sighing she sits down on my bed close to my feet. ' Did you know at 15 you can donate an organ as long as your parent or guardian consents to it?'

Looking at her funny she keeps talking. 'Your heart is broking.' Well, she is very direct 'How do you know that?' tilting her head she studies me. 'Nurses talk, especially about your hottie tottie boyfriend.' Making kissing noises she flutters with her eyelashes. Raising her voice she starts mimicking them ' Oh Delia, did you see him.' Pretending to fan her face she continues. 'So hot! O M G, can you believe it? He is actually dating that girl he operated on. I don't want to sound bad, but I will be there to console him if she dies of heart failure.' Rolling her eyes she gags 'He has a very hot best friend too. We could totally double date.' Chuckling evil she smirks 'they all want a piece of him. Terrible if you ask me. No worries he has no eyes for them. I kissed a boy in my class cause I wanted to know what it was like. Then his di.. pencil thing started to poke me. He wouldn't let me touch it though.'

Feeling myself smile I continue to listen to her talk. On how she used her father's laptop to look up porn. Cause her teachers didn't want to answer her questions. Her mom didn't help either so she asked her best friend Terry. Poor guy didn't stand a chance. He had to surrender his porn collection to her so she could inspect it. Learn with every story a little more about her. Letting me know that she is a little over 15 years old. This explains the comment she made earlier. Love how she has no filter she just keeps babbling. Her grandma was never afraid to speak her mind what made her mom blush. She misses her every day. Sweet how her face lights up talking about her. 'I will see her soon so that is ok.'

Frozen I hope I heard her wrong. Noticing my lack of response she frowns. 'Are you ok?' How is she calm talking about it? Well in all fairness you didn't really consider how you make others feel either Rose. Fumbling with my fingers I feel really uncomfortable. 'You can ask me it is ok.' Sitting up straight she shows no trace of discomfort herself. It is clear that this subject is not foreign to her. Taking a few deep breaths I finally muster up the courage.'Your dying?' a traitorous tear escapes the corner of my eye. How can I not feel torn about this? Doesn't shock her at all that I am asking her this. Her face is peaceful accepting it 'In a way I am. That is not how I see it though. Just means my light will shine on in someone else.'

Squeezing my hand she is actually trying to reassure ME. While I should be to one to tell her she will be ok. Even if it is a lie you hope that by some miracle her fate will change. 'In boring doctor terms, I have a form of muscular dystrophy. Don't blame anyone really. Cause of some genetics gradually my muscles will weaken, slowly I will lose the ability to use my arms, legs, fingers. When I was born the chance of me getting MS was big. My parents first didn't want to tell me what sucked big time. Mom's, dad my grandpappy died from it too. Only he was a little older than me.'

Despite my efforts, I can't hold back the tears. Could be the effects of my lack of sleep. Medicines I have been given. Whatever it is, my heart breaks for her. Still, she isn't alarmed by any of it what makes me sob louder. Standing up she wobbles a bit. Hugging me tightly she whispers in my ear 'Don't be sad Rose, my light will continue to shine inside of you.' With that comment, she leaves my room making me cry even harder. How did she know my name?

Everyone has that moment sense something is off. Then I feel it hit me like a ton of bricks. My chest becomes tight, the pain is excruciating. The sound of my heartbeat on the monitor is going haywire. Wheezing I can't catch my breath. Dizzyness starts to set in, black spots are clouding my vision. Last thing I see before my heart stops is Dimitri running into my room. His face is distorted with anger. Dimitri's last desperate words feel like a warm blanket giving me the peace I needed 'This isn't our last goodbye Roza..'