Sakura Haruno was an avid reader of the Oxford New English Dictionary.
One of her greatest pleasures in life was whipping out long, complicated terms during an argument and confounding whatever opponent was unfortunate enough to disagree with her. This method of attack has served her well not only on Konoha High's debate team, but also in more aggressive types of student team pursuits. Namely: karate.
At eight years old, Sakura's parents worried their daughter was not disciplined enough to get through high school and, eventually, college. In other words, she had an execrable case of attention deficit disorder. Mr. and Mrs. Haruno sought a means to remedy this – and landed on enrolling their wayward daughter in karate at the local clubhouse.
"Maybe this will keep her from eating paste," said Mr. Haruno.
"At the very least it will help her burn off the calories." Replied Mrs. Haruno.
Their peradventure paid off. Sakura took to the beginner stances like a slug to slime. She performed fudo dachi while practicing spelling, covered basic algebra while mastering front, back, and side kicks. Before long, at only age sixteen, she'd been recruited onto a team by one of the world's foremost karate masters – Lady Tsunade, The Slug Queen (so named because, in her youth, she had a tendency to spit on opponents after defeating them).
Nobody would doubt that Sakura Haruno had worked hard to represent her hometown of Konoha in this year's Allied Karate Tournament – but she certainly wondered about her two teammates.
"Hey, Sakura, what does 'gregarious' mean?"
"It describes someone that's likely to seek and enjoy the company of others, Naruto."
"So the teme can be described as anti-gregarious! Ha! Take that, chicken-butthead."
Sakura sighed, watching as Naruto nudged their quick-to-anger third teammate with his elbow. Sasuke scowled and looked ready to reply with something scathing, but Sakura beat him to it.
"Anti-gregarious isn't a word, Naruto. But you could describe Sasuke as 'misanthropic.'"
Sasuke turned his glare towards the sole female member of their team while Naruto loudly asked, "what does THAT mean, Sakura?"
After pulling in the pink tongue that stuck out between her lips and hiding her right hand's middle finger from Naruto's innocent view, Sakura kindly told him to "look it up in a dictionary, stupid."
Suddenly, Sasuke's glare melted into a mildly irritated look. Both Sakura and Naruto followed his gaze to the gymnasium doors, where their appointed sensei, Kakashi Hatake, was strolling in. He had his nose in an orange novella and clearly did not give two fucks about being three hours late.
"Sorry, kiddos," Kakashi started. "I got lost on the road of - "
"Disrespect?" Sakura suggested.
"Stupidity?" Sasuke followed.
"Ramen?" Naruto finished, not fully understanding the game, but happy to be a part of it.
Kakashi sighed. "Remember when you were all young and cute and hung off every word I said?"
"That was three weeks ago, sensei. We've only known you for three weeks." Sakura reminded him.
"Good times. I miss that."
"I don't." Sasuke muttered.
Kakashi clapped a hand against the book his nose was buried in, then stated in a tone that Sakura considered far too cheerful for the sentence subject: "Okay, I hope you all got your homework done while wasting time in the gym, because we'll be here practicing until midnight."
"What? Why?" Naruto cried, flailing his arms around in a way that reminded Sakura of the toucans she and her parents and seen during their trip through a Caribbean rainforest last summer. She was not as willing as Naruto to ignore the "wasting time in the gym" remark.
"Because," Kakashi started, pulling his orange book down from his face for the first time since they've known him, "you've been paired against Suna for the first round."
The seventh team to be admitted into the Allied Karate Tournament – affectionately dubbed 'team seven' by its members – sat stone silent and stared at their sensei.
It was Naruto who finally broke the reticence. "Great! This gives us the chance to show how much better we are than those stupid sand-slingers. We'll take the old champions out first and establish our dominance!"
"This isn't the fucking animal kingdom, Naruto," Sakura snapped. "Hinata told me that Gaara shattered Rock Lee's knee last year. Tsunade had to reconstruct it like a one thousand-piece monochromatic puzzle. I saw the x-rays – it was not pretty."
"First of all," Naruto started, "this is the animal kingdom. Why else would they let a hagfish like the teme into the competition? Secondly," Naruto continued, dodging Sasuke the Hagfish's eye-poke, "we have a duty to avenge Bushy Brow. And I know you want to wreck that Temari girl for what she did to Tenten."
Sakura thought about that for a minute. Sure, she wanted revenge against Temari for knocking out both of Tenten's front teeth, but they were able to get to the dentist in time to reattach them, no harm done (besides the harm to Tenten's nose). Was revenge worth losing her own two front teeth?
One look at the stupidly optimistic expression on Naruto's face is enough to convince Sakura that yes, it was.
"I hate you." She conceded, slouching back into the bleachers in the manner of a woman defeated.
"Yes!" Naruto cheered. "That's the spirit Sakura! What about you, chicken-butt? Too scared to face the sandy siblings?"
Sasuke shrugged. "Shut up, dobe. I'm down as long as I get to take on the redhead."
Naruto cheered again, and pulled his two teammates into a group hug unwelcomed by both. "Alright, Kakashi-sensei! Let's get down to business!"
"Is he snoring?"
"He fell asleep. Sakura, kick him awake."
"What? No. Make Naruto do it!"
"Dobe, kick Kakashi awake."
"No way! Last time I tried to wake him up he slammed me into the gym floor – not even onto a mat, teme. Not even onto a mat – and almost choked me to death. You do it this time!"
Team seven collectively sighed. There was a long night ahead of them.