Home Sweet Home Improvement

UPDATED VERSION OF HOME IMPROVEMENT THEME SONG

2017

ACT ONE – SCENE ONE

BLACK SCREEN

Tool Time music can be heard playing and then the darkness slowly fades and reveals TIM TAYLOR silently working at the dining room table on a computer. The 'Tool Time' theme is playing on the television that BRAD is watching while going through a large folder filled with papers. Tim's hair is greying, but he looks pretty much the same. Brad is older and looks extremely distressed.

TIM: Brad, can you turn that down? I'm trying to think up ideas for Tool Time.

BRAD: I'm sorry, Dad. (a beat) I'm just so anxious.

TIM: If you're anxious, take a run around the block and have a glass of wine. That'll take the shakes right out of you.

BRAD gives TIM a look and Tim sighs: his humor still falls flat on his family.

BRAD (worried): Marissa should have been back by now.

TIM (sighs): I hope it's good news this time.

BRAD: I don't understand how Randy and Lauren were able to have three children so easily and they've only been married six years. Marissa and I have been married for 10 and we haven't had any.

Before TIM can reply, the door opens and MARISSA, a charming looking woman with long hair comes in and silently walks over to BRAD. BRAD looks hopeful, but MARISSA shakes her head sadly.

BRAD: I'm sorry.

MARISSA (struggling not to be sad): We're still on waiting lists for adoption.

Nodding, BRAD stands up and embraces MARISSA. TIM sighs heavily.

TIM (hopeful): You can't give up on being parents, Brad and Marissa. You might suddenly get lucky and get blessed with multiples like Al and Trudy did. Did I ever tell you that story?

Brad shakes his head no and Tim sighs as he thinks back to years ago.

July 4, 1999

The Taylor backyard is quiet and Tim was actually grateful. Brad had moved out just a few days ago to live on the UCLA campus in California, Randy was still in Costa Rica, and Mark was off at a cooking course for teens that was being sponsored by the Rotary Club. Jill was off shopping for the barbecue that they were going to have that evening both in honor of July 4th and Al and Trudy's return.

As Tim silently set up the grill and made sure all the grilling tools were clean, he looked towards Wilson's yard and was happy to see that Wilson was also outside, "Wilson, hi!" he called out in a kind voice.

"Heidi ho, good neighbor," Wilson said in a merry voice as he wandered over to the fence.

Tim smiled as he too wandered to the fence, "What are you grilling?" he asked eagerly.

"Coffee beans," Wilson replied merrily. "I need to stock up on lots and lots of coffee."

Tim's eyes widened, "That'll keep you awake for years!" he exclaimed, deeply amused.

"Well, starting in September, I'm going to be travelling around to educational institutions around the United States to give guest lectures for various subjects, so I'll need something to keep me awake," Wilson replied in a pleasant voice. "It seems that all of my life experience is applicable to courses."

Tim frowned, "Are you still coming to the barbecue?" he asked softly. "Al and Trudy will be back."

"Oh, indeedy, yes," Wilson replied cheerfully. "Speaking of which, are you setting up the grill?"

Tim sighed, "It cooks things so slowly that we'll still have no food ready by the time everyone shows up," he replied irritably, a grin suddenly coming over his face. "Maybe I could add more power to it!"

Wilson sighed and watched as Tim gleefully ran over to the grill and began to take it apart.

"TIM!" Jill shouted as she came into the yard nearly an hour later after buying things for the barbecue and saw grill parts all over the grass. "What is this?! You said you were going to set things up."

Tim grinned as he came out of the garage and through the house carrying a part, "I decided to fix the grill so the stuff would cook faster," he replied eagerly. "Trust me, honey, I know what I'm doing."

"Al and Trudy are going to be here any minute," Jill moaned as she followed Tim outside. "Marty, your mother, Jeff, Carrie, and Wilson are also coming. What are we supposed to eat? Everything but meat?"

Tim opened his mouth to reply, but he was cut off by the doorbell, "Tim, please just fix this and get started grilling the meat!" Jill said in an exasperated voice as she hurried inside to answer the door.

"It's not like Al can't wait for a meal," Tim mumbled as he began to put the grill back together.

Inside, Jill opened the door and was happy to see that it was Al and Trudy, as they had been gone on their honeymoon for a long time and weren't much for writing or emailing. Al had a big smile on his face and Trudy was glowing so much that Jill wondered if she would have news to share at the party.

"Hi!" Al said merrily, hugging Jill before moving inside. "We're back from the Islands!"

Jill smiled as Al looked around for food, "Is anything ready yet?" Trudy asked eagerly.

"Tim decided to fix the grill," Jill grumbled. "I'll see if I have anything you can snack on."

As Al, Trudy, and Jill wandered into the kitchen, Jeff and Carrie wandered into the house and immediately began to kiss as if nobody else was there, "Hi Carrie!" Jill called out merrily.

Jeff and Carrie, however, weren't paying attention and continued to kiss, "Those look great!" Trudy exclaimed as Jill pulled out a box of crackers. "If it's okay with you, I'll take all of them."

Jill's eyes widened as Trudy ripped open the box and began helping herself to crackers, "Is…is there something you want to tell?" Jill asked just as Tim wandered into the house. "Something exciting?"

"The grill's fixed," Tim announced, thinking she was talking to him. "I can start grilling meat."

Jill gave Tim a look and Tim quietly retrieved the meat from the fridge, waving as Mark suddenly came into the house with Lucille and Marty at his heels, "Look who I found on my way over!" Lucille announced in a cheerful voice, smiling as Wilson wandered in. "Parker said he'll be here for dinner, Jill, if that's all right with you. He's just arrived from Texas and he's freshening up at the hotel."

Nodding, Jill smiled; she was determined to support her mother's happiness even if it did mean seeing her be happy with another man, "Well, we were going to wait until we ate," Al suddenly spoke up in an eager voice, noting that Jill was still looking at them curiously. "We're going to be parents in six months."

"Wow! Congratulations, Al!" Tim exclaimed in an eager voice. "Did you talk Heidi into coming today?"

Al shook his head, "Heidi's off on a mini-holiday with Scott and Amy," he replied calmly, having seen them at the airport when he and Trudy had arrived. "There's a little more to our news, though."

"We're having twins!" Trudy exclaimed cheerfully, taking a break from eating. "Isn't it great?"

Tim smiled and joined everyone in hugging both Al and Trudy in congratulations of their news.

2017

Brad looks awed and Marissa looks hopeful, both of them considerably calmer now.

BRAD: We can't give up hope, you're right. (smiles) Thanks Dad. Do you need any help?

MARISSA (hugs Tim) Thank you, Tim. (pause) You're such a great father.

TIM: Brad, I'm doing fine. Why don't you two go help your mom with dinner.

As BRAD and MARISSA walk off to the kitchen, Tim looks out the window towards Wilson's yard and frowns when he suddenly sees movers moving boxes in and out while Willow watches.

TIM (quietly, concerned): What's going on over at Wilson's?

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