South Park Emotional Warzone Chapter 22: Bahamian Rhapsody (Part 2)
Divided We Fail: The McCormick's Vacation
The sun rises yet again on The Bahamas. It's yet another magnificent time for those staying at Atlantis Paradise Island, such as our heroes. In this case, we see the McCormick clan getting ready to embark on another fun filled day in the summer sun, with Lola looking especially chipper.
"Alright everyone, I've got the whole day planned out for us," Lola announced as she pulled out a slip of paper from the back pocket of her shorts, "First we'll check out the Marine Habitat, then we'll get into our swimsuits for the Aquaventure Water Park, then lunch, then we'll visit the Versailles Garden and French Cloister, then a power boat tour, and we'll cap off our evening with a nice family dinner at Jimmy Buffet's Margaritaville Restaurant. What do you think, all, sound like a plan?"
"Well actually, Lola, Firkle and I were planning on exploring the hotel," Karen explained, "There's a lot of amenities here that we have yet to check out like the spa, casino, and some of the other bars and restaurants."
"And Barry, Penny, and I were hoping to hang around the hotel too and check out the beach and water park," Larry said.
"But one of the destinations I want to go to is the water park," Lola said.
"Yeah, but you're probably going to rush us, we're probably not going to get a chance to check out every ride," Penny said.
"We'd like to take our sweet little time around the park is what she's saying," Barry said.
"So you'd all basically like to split up and go off on your own is what you're all saying?" Kenny asked.
"Pretty much, yeah." Firkle said.
"But I already made this schedule," Lola said with a disappointed frown, "Kenny, help me out here please."
As much as Kenny loved to make his wife happy, he knew that this vacation was his kids, niece, sister, and Firkle's too. He looked over at the group of five looking at him for his approval and then back at Lola who was waiting for him to rush into her corner.
"Well, Lola, this vacation is theirs to spend too," Kenny said, "We're here for another few days. I say we let them to whatever they want today, then we can continue vacationing as a well-functional family for the rest of our time here."
Lola was stunned as this was the first time in her life where Kenny went against what she wanted.
"Does that mean we can all do whatever we want?" Larry asked excitedly.
"Go, go, have fun," Kenny said, "You all know our phone numbers should any trouble arise."
"Alright!" Penny shouted.
"Thanks dad, you're awesome!" Barry shouted as he ran off with his brother and cousin.
"Come on, Firkle, let's go over here!" Karen said as she excitedly grabbed Firkle's wrist to go explore the resort.
"I can't believe you let them go off on their own," Lola pouted, "Vacation time is family time, you know that!"
"Now, babe, I know you're upset but I let them go for our benefit too," Kenny explained, "See it's hard for the two of us to get some alone time these days, and we didn't really go on any sort of honeymoon after we got married a few months ago. Not to mention any trip we do take is for your job and we usually bring the kids with us too."
"Oh, I get what you're saying," Lola said, catching on to Kenny's plot, "You want our family to separate so we can use today as our sort of 'honeymoon getaway'."
"Now you're getting it!" Kenny said as he and Lola kissed.
"So, my handsome stud, where do you want to go first?" Lola asked.
"Well, that garden sounds like a good idea," Kenny said.
With that the couple headed to the Versailles Garden and French Cloister to take in the foliage and overall admire the bountiful plant life that Mother Nature had blessed the Bahamas with.
Larry, Barry, and Penny are having an absolute blast at the Aquaventure Water Park. It has been a little more than an hour and a half since they arrived and they have seen and done most of the attractions there. Here are some of the things they have done
#1: The three of them are running around the Splashers Water Playground, going down its slides, shooting each other with the water cannons there, and getting gallons of water poured on them by its huge bucket
#2: They are riding on a three person tube through the Serpent Slide and are amazed at all of the marine life swimming outside of the tube slide.
#3: The three of them are sitting in their own individual inner tubes as they ride The Current River water ride, admiring the lush jungle environment the park had set up to set the mood.
#4: Larry, Barry, and Penny are racing each other in the Lap Pool. Larry finishes first, Penny finishes second, and Barry finish last. Tired and in a daze, Barry starts to sink to the bottom of the pool and Larry dives down to save him.
#5: The three kids sneak into the Royal Baths pool decide to sneak up on and scare any lovey-dovey couples that are there. They are eventually found by the lifeguards and kicked out of the Royal Baths. This is where the little montage ends.
"Don't you brats ever come back to this here pool, you hear?!" The lifeguard shouted.
"Ain't nothing wrong with a couple of kids looking to have some fun, you hear?" Larry mocked causing Barry and Penny to laugh as they walk away from the area.
"I'm having the time of my life, guys, what say you?" Barry asked.
"The best," Penny said.
"No place I'd rather be right now, bro." Larry concurred, "What do you want to do next?"
"Let's hit up another water slide!" Penny suggested.
"Okay," Larry and Barry agreed.
The three kids got in line for another water slide, but this one is especially long. From where they stood in line, they looked at a sign right next to them that said the wait would be 30 minutes.
"This better be a good ride for how long this line is," Larry complained.
"Despair not, Larry, we can use this opportunity to play a game," Barry said, "How about 'Two Truths, and a Lie?' We make three statements about ourselves and then you have to guess which one of the three is a lie."
"Okay, let me start: I'm bored, I'm hot, and I love how slow this line is moving," Penny said with a hint of annoyance.
"Too easy, here I'll go," Larry said, "These swim trunks I'm wearing cost $25, my favorite video game is Super Smash Bros. Ultimate, and I still sleep with my stuffed lion, Roary, at night."
"Well it can't be last one, you gave up Roary when you turned five," Barry said.
"No, he still sleeps with him," Penny smirked.
"Really?!" Barry said loudly.
"He's stated numerous times that his favorite game is Legend of Zelda Breath of the Wild," Penny continued, "I'm surprised you didn't know."
"But I really thought you gave up Roary," Barry said, "We share a room how are you still sleeping with him?"
"I hide him underneath my bed and then pull him out once I hear you snoring away," Larry explained.
"This is too priceless," Barry laughed, "Nine years old and you're still sleeping with your little stuffed lion."
"At least I don't still wet the bed at night!" Larry shouted causing Barry to get mad.
"Sure, tell the whole world why don't you!" Barry shouted.
The two brothers get into an argument causing multiple onlookers to stare at them
"Larry, Barry, please stop," Penny begged, "You wouldn't behave like this if mom, Mr. Firkle, Uncle Kenny, or Aunt Lola were here."
As Penny was trying to break up the brother's quarrel, a girl about a year or two older than Penny cut ahead of them in line. This caught all three kids' attention and Penny decided to confront the girl.
"Excuse me, I don't know if you're entitled, blind, or both, but you just cut in front of me and my cousins," Penny said.
"Yeah, well the line was moving and you three weren't moving, so I saw and opportunity and went for it," The rude girl arrogantly stated.
"We weren't moving because I was trying to break up these guys' little squabble," Penny said, "I figured you would do the courteous thing and wait patiently while I calm them down."
"Hey, you snooze you lose girly," The rude girl said, "Now why don't you and your cousins make like the annoying insects you are and buzz off!"
As soon as the rude girl said that, she pushed Penny to the ground catching Larry and Barry off guard.
"Excuse me," Barry intervened, "Just who do you think you are pushing my cousin to the ground like that!"
The rude girl answered Barry's comment by pushing him to the ground as well. Seeing his cousin and twin brother getting pushed brought Larry's blood to a boil. Larry may find them annoying and they do argue a decent amount, but at the end of the day they're still his family, and he must do what is right to defend their honor.
"That's it!" Larry shouted as he delivered a swift kick to the rude girl's stomach, causing her to double over in pain. Barry and Penny got up in shock and looked at the rude girl holding her stomach and groaning in pain.
"Dang, dude, you just hit a girl!" Penny exclaimed.
"I can't tell if I should be proud of you, or absolutely terrified of you right now," Barry said.
"Hey, someone had to defend your guys' honor," Larry said with a shrug of his shoulders.
The rude kid slowly got up, still holding her stomach, and she shot a very angry and hateful glare at the three kids that stood before her.
"So you want to play rough, eh?" The rude girl said before inhaling deep and yelling, "BROTHER!"
At first the three kids were confused, but their confusion turned to fear when they felt a hot breath caressing their shoulders. Slowly, they turned their heads and right behind them was a very tall and rotund older boy about 14 years of age. The large boy was staring down at the three younger children with the will to kill before looking over at his younger sister.
"Yes, dear sister of mine?" The large boy asked his sister.
The rude girl pointed at the three scared kids and with loads of venom in her whiny little voice she said, "Crush them."
The large boy cracked his knuckles and let out a sadistic grin, frightening the three McCormicks further.
"I think our parents might have handled this situation better than I have," Larry said shrilly.
"You think?!" Barry asked.
"Less arguing and more getting the hell out of here!" Penny shouted as she and her cousins bolted out of the area before any damage could be done to them.
Meanwhile, back at the resort, Karen and her boyfriend Firkle are feeling very refreshed and rejuvenated as they have just paid a visit to Paradise Island's spa. The couple were practically glowing as they left the spa and made their way to the Lagoon Bar & Grill.
"That couples massage was something else," Karen said.
"No kidding," Firkle said, "I can't remember the last time I felt this relaxed. I also can't remember the last time my skin felt this smooth!"
"Mud baths really do work wonders on the skin don't they?" Karen asked as she caressed her arms and face.
"So do the saunas," Firkle said, "I don't think my pores have ever felt this clean."
"We really should pay visits to the spa more often," Karen said.
"Well let's focus less on the spa and more on lunchtime," Firkle said.
"Good idea, I'm starving," Karen said.
Firkle and Karen entered the Lagoon Bar & Grill and took a seat at the bar. The bartender came up to the couple to take their orders.
"What'll it be folks?" The bartender asked.
"I'll take an order of calamari and a Mojito," Firkle said.
"I'll have an order of nachos and..." Karen was reading the drink menu to see what she should have when one caught her eye based on the name alone, "Hey, what's Sex on the Beach?"
"You've never had Sex on the Beach before?" Firkle asked, "Don't you work at a bar yourself?"
"Well that drink isn't on our menu, plus I don't really drink alcohol that often, but looking at the ingredients it sounds like a safe bet." Karen looked back at the bartender, "Yeah, some nachos and a Sex on the Beach would be lovely, sir."
"Coming up," the bartender said as he went into the kitchen to get the food orders in.
When the bartender returned he got Firkle his Mojito and Karen her Sex on the Beach. Firkle started to slowly sip on his beverage, but one taste of her beverage made Karen drink faster and faster. By the time their food came out, Firkle was only halfway done with his Mojito...but Karen finished every last drop of her drink.
"Wow, babe, you downed that drink like it was a soda pop!" Firkle said in amazement.
"I know, this drink tastes a lot like candy!" Karen exclaimed, "Hey, barkeep, give me another Sex on the Beach!"
"Coming up!" the bartender said as he prepared Karen's beverage.
"You might want to slow it down, honey," Firkle warned, "I don't want you getting totally wasted."
"Quit your bellyaching, sweetie, I'll be just fine." Karen said.
Gilligan Cut To...
Karen is seen drunk and dancing to Drake's Hotline Bling over the jukebox. She's slurring her words as she sings to the song as well as trying and failing to dance like Drake in the video. All the while Firkle is just staring at her in a mixture of worry and embarassment.
"You used to call me on my cell phone," Karen drunkingly sang, "Late night when you need my love..."
"Babe, please sit down, I don't like this side of you," Firkle said worriedly.
"Ah, shut up Firky, I'm fine," Karen slurred before going back to singing, "I know when that hotline bling, that can only mean one thing. 'Cause ever since I left the city you!"
Karen stopped dancing and singing before heading back to the bar to talk to the bartender, "Oh that shit is my jam I'll tell you what. Hey, barkeep, give me another one of those beach sex drinks."
"Miss, you've had like six of these since you got here," The bartender said, "I'm sorry but I'm going to have to cut you off."
"Don't you dare cut me off, you elitist douchebag!" Karen slurred along with a drunken hiccup, "My boyfriend will kick your ass, dick!"
Firkle got between Karen and the bartender before things escalated further.
"I apologize for my girlfriend's behavior," Firkle said, "Can you please send the check to my room?"
"Certainly sir," The bartender said with a bow, "Thanks for coming and I hope you and your girlfriend enjoy your stay here."
"Thank you sir, come on babe let's get back to the room," Firkle said as he dragged Karen out by her arm and took her to their hotel room.
"Oh, you wanna get freaky, baby?" Karen asked Firkle as he continued to drag her.
Meanwhile, Kenny and Lola are enjoying their little 'honeymoon' at the Versailles Garden. The couple was constantly taken aback by the beautiful plant life that was growing there, and even more amazed at the architecture of the cloister. They strolled through the park and took loads of pictures, especially a picture of themselves posing in front of the French Cloister. Some time alone and away from Karen, Firkle, and the kids were just what these two needed. Now they are seated underneath a gazebo, snuggling close to each other.
"I've got to say, Kenny, getting some time away from everyone was the best idea you have ever come up with," Lola said.
"Yeah, we so needed this," Kenny said.
Kenny and Lola continued to cuddle underneath the gazebo and take in more of the beautiful environment and weather, but then something caught their attention, two things in fact. To their right was a family of seven having a picnic and enjoying their time together. To their left, a young mother and father were out taking their baby for a nice day out. The baby was giggling in his stroller as the mother pushed it and the father showed him the wonderful scenery. These two things reminded Kenny and Lola too much about their own family, especially Larry and Barry. They knew they had to look away or they'd start to miss them and regret every splitting up for the day.
"Look up at the clouds, Kenny," Lola said as she pointed upward, "That cloud looks an awful lot like a cruise ship."
"Yeah, it kind of does doesn't it?" Kenny said as he looked up at the cloud before shifting his attention towards another one, "And that one looks like a slice of pepperoni pizza with a bite taken out of it."
"How descriptive," Lola said before looking at another cloud, "And that cloud over there looks like two boys."
"They kind of remind me of Larry and Barry," Kenny said, "See how the boy on the left has a spiky haircut like Larry has while the boy on the right has hair that's smoother like Barry's."
"Yeah...I see it too," Lola said with a frown as she started missing her sons again.
Kenny sensed his wife's depression and he started to miss not only them but his sister, her boyfriend, and his niece Penny too. Not helping matters is that a bird flew by them carrying a worm in its mouth. They watched as the bird flew into its nest to feed its babies, further reminding the couple of their kids.
"Come on, Kenny, let's get out of here," Lola said, wanting to get away from the constant reminders of family.
"Yeah I think we've seen enough," Kenny concurred as he followed his wife out of the park.
Back in Karen, Firkle, and Penny's hotel room, Karen could be heard in the bathroom throwing up due to all of the alcohol she consumed at the bar. She walked out holding her stomach with one hand and her head in the other. She collapsed on the bed as Firkle handed her some alka seltzer.
"I am never, ever drinking again," Karen moaned, "I'm sorry if I embarrassed you at all at the bar, Firkle."
"Don't worry about it, babe," Firkle said, "I just hope you learned your lesson about alcohol."
"Oh, I have," Karen said, "From now on, I'm keeping alcohol strictly for New Year's celebrations and the occasional birthday party. Anyway, I'm also sorry if I spoiled our day together. I know you wanted it to be just us today."
"It's fine, Karen, things happen for a reason," Firkle said.
"But I don't want to hold you up if you had your heart set on exploring the hotel today," Karen said, "Go have fun, I'll be fine."
"Are you sure," Firkle asked, "I don't really feel too good about leaving you alone in this condition."
"Babe, I'm hungover, nothing more nothing less," Karen said, "I just have to sleep this off and I'll be right as rain. Go on, enjoy yourself."
"Alright," Firkle said, "Just don't be afraid to call me if you want me to come back."
"Okay, bye Firky, kisses," Karen said as she gave Firkle air kisses which he graciously returned before leaving.
So Firkle began to explore the resort by his lonesome. There was so much to see and he wanted to do it all, but he knew that most of it he wanted to experience with Karen. Firkle kept walking until he came across the resort's casino. He approached the double doors leading to it and showed the bouncer his ID, and he let him inside.
Firkle had never been inside a casino before and the look of the resort's casino took him aback. He couldn't believe how colorful and loud everything was. The beeping and booping of the machines, the bells that signify a huge jackpot and the cheers of joy that would follow, these sounds and many more filled the room.
Firkle decided to look around and try his luck at one of the games, but one of the casino's workers came up to him.
"Hello sir, never seen you around this casino before," The casino worker said.
"My family and I are here on vacation," Firkle answered, "I figured I'd come down here while my girlfriend nurses a hangover in our room. So, what game do you recommend I play here? I've never really been inside a casino before."
"Well, a good place to start is our poker table," The casino worker said as he pulled out a chair for Firkle, "Why don't you take a seat and get started by placing a bet."
Firkle took out a crisp $50 and gave it to the dealer, who in turn gave him the appropriate amount of chips. The game got underway and at the end of it, Firkle wound up with a five of a kind hand, giving him the victory for this round.
"Congratulations, sir, you've won!" The dealer said to Firkle as he handed him his winnings.
"Alright, alright!" Firkle said, "Let me try again and this time let me bet it all!"
"As you wish," The dealer said as he took Firkle's money and gave him more chips. The second round progressed and it ended with Firkle winning that round with a straight flush.
"You've won again, sir!" The dealer said. This time Firkle's victory was met with applause
"Oh yeah, baby, I'm on a hot streak now!" Firkle said as he readied himself for another round, "Let's keep the good times a-comin'!"
On one of the resort's beaches, the rude girl and her brother were scouring the area for the McCormick kids. Eventually, they gave up and returned to the hotel, allowing the three kids to come out of hiding. Larry and Barry emerged from some bushes while Penny comes down from a nearby pine tree.
"Thank God we finally lost them," Barry said before glaring at his twin brother, "Happy now, brother? Your actions nearly got us killed!"
"How was I supposed to know that that brat had a behemoth of a big brother lying in wait to whip us six ways from Sunday?" Larry snapped, "Besides that little runt had it coming."
"Two wrongs don't make a right, you know!" Barry scolded.
"Wowie, look at this beach!" Penny exclaimed, causing the twin brothers to stop arguing.
The three kids took in the environment. Neither of them had seen a beach filled with so much activity. Families and friends all around them celebrating the glorious day that was bestowed upon them by having barbecues, playing volleyball, taking their dogs out for walks, frolicking in the water, or just enjoying each other's company. This all inspired the McCormick kids to join in on the festivities.
"Alright Larry, chewing out time is later and fun time is right now!" Barry shouted.
"I hear that, bro!" Larry concurred.
"Last one in the ocean is a rotten egg!" Penny shouted as she ran into the ocean, her cousins in hot pursuit. With that bratty girl and her big oafish brother far behind them, the three kids can resume their vacation in peace.
With Kenny and Lola, the couple decided to return to the hotel and check out the Marine Habitat. The couple can be seen standing in front of a tank containing some seahorses. One seahorse was trying to attract another one with a mating dance. The female seahorse, after a few moments of observing its admirer ends up dancing along with him. This act of affection caught the attention of Lola.
"Look at those two over there, how cute!" Lola pointed at the two seahorses dancing.
Kenny looked at the two seahorses dancing and he smiled warmly.
"Do those two seahorses remind you of anything, babe?" Kenny asked.
"Of course," Lola said, "Homecoming Dance of 2007, the night when we first fell in love. Do you remember the song we danced to?"
"Maroon 5's 'She Will Be Loved'," Kenny answered, "To this day it's still one of my all-time favorite songs."
"Mine too," Lola smiled, "I used to listen to it every day while you were at boot camp and Iraq."
"Aw, come here, my queen," Kenny said as he gave his wife a nice kiss on the lips before they continued to look at the seahorses swim about. The next thing that caught the couple's attention was a male seahorse giving birth to its babies. As Lola watched the birthing process, she started to feel a tugging in her heart.
"It's so weird how the male seahorse gives birth to the children, isn't it?" Kenny asked, awaiting an answer from his wife. When he didn't get one, he turned to face her to see if something was wrong.
"It seems like only yesterday Larry and Barry were born," Lola said wistfully, "When they were born, I didn't think for a second about how fast they'd grow up."
"Yeah, I hear you," Kenny said before thinking to himself, "I wonder how my sons and Penny are doing right now."
As Lola and Kenny were thinking about their sons, a family of four come walking by, laughing and having a good time. Seeing the happy family walk by made the couple miss their children and by extension Karen, Firkle, and Penny even more.
"Lola, I think I made a mistake letting our family go off on their own," Kenny said sadly, "I thought that we'd be happy if we had some 'us' time, but we've been with our family for so long that we're just flat out miserable without them."
"Not helping matters are all the reminders of our family," Lola said, "Come on, Ken, let's go find them."
"Right behind you," Kenny said as he and his wife left the aquarium.
Meanwhile on the beach, the McCormick kids separated to go and have their own fun in the summer sun.
We start with Penny who snuck into a volleyball game played by a bunch of teenagers. When she saw the ball flying towards her she jumped up and slammed the ball down on the ground on the other side of the net.
"Yeah, baby! Undefeated!" Penny shouted as she waited for high fives from her 'teammates', "Yeah we showed them didn't we, guys? Come on high five, anyone...anyone?"
The teenagers just looked at her weirdly, unsure on where she came from and why she felt the need to jump in and play with them.
"How old are you, little girl?" One teenager asked.
"Where are you parents?" Asked another one.
"Come on, let's play another round, what do you say?" Penny asked, ignoring the teenagers comments.
"Sorry, kiddo, this is a game meant especially for bigger people," One teenager said, "Why don't you go build a sand castle or something."
"Y'all are just jealous that a seven year old girl is better at this sport than you," Penny said smugly.
"GET OUT!" All the teenagers shouted.
"Fine, don't have a cow," Penny said as she left the teenagers to play their game.
As Penny walked along the beach to find something else to do, she found Barry laying down with a pained expression on his face and his hands on his head.
"What's your problem, dude?" Penny asked.
"Ice cream vendor...free ice cream...ate too fast...brain freeze..." Barry said in pain.
"Yeah ice cream does that to you, partner," Penny said as she lifted her cousin up off the ground, "Come on, a quick swim in the ocean should make you feel better."
Sure enough, Barry's brain freeze went away after a while. Whether playing with his cousin in the ocean helped or not is unrelated, but nevertheless the two of them were having the time of their lives.
"Hey, Pen, have you seen Larry anywhere?" Barry asked.
"I'm sure he'll turn up eventually," Penny said.
As if on cue, the two of them heard a horn. They looked and they saw Larry riding a jet ski. Larry slowed his ride down and stopped it so he could talk with his brother and cousin.
"How do you like my new ride?" Larry asked smugly.
"Larry where'd you get that thing?" Barry asked.
"I found it!" Larry smiled.
"Translation: He stole it," Penny said, much to the chagrin of Barry.
"Hey, I found this jet ski with its keys still in the ignition," Larry said, "If anything I'm teaching the owner of this jet ski a lesson by taking it out for a joy ride."
"Once again, Larry, two wrongs don't make a right!" Barry scolded, "Why do you get off on causing trouble?"
"I'm just trying to live my childhood to the fullest," Larry said, "You only get one childhood to live and I want mine to be the most badass one out of all of us. Now check this out!"
With that, Larry sped off to continue his joy ride.
"If he makes it through his lifetime without going to jail, I'm going to be so surprised," Penny said.
Penny and Barry watched at Larry rode his stolen jet ski all around the ocean. He did all kinds of tricks and quick turns, catching the attention of all the beach goers, including the owner of said stolen jet ski.
"Woo-hoo! Déjà vu, I've just been in this place before! Higher on the street, and I know it's my time to go!" Larry sang as he picked up more speed on his jet ski.
"Hey, brat!" The jet ski owner called out.
Larry turned to the man's direction as did Barry and Penny.
"Larry's in trouble," Penny taunted.
"Can I help you, my good man?" Larry asked the man on the beach.
"Yeah, that's my jet ski!" The man shouted, "What are you doing with it?!"
"Simple, I just saw the keys still in the engine and I decided to take it for a little joy ride to teach you a lesson in responsibility," Larry said.
"Little boy, bring my jet ski back now!" The man shouted.
"Alright, only because you asked so nicely," Larry said sarcastically.
Larry brought the jet ski back to shore, put it in park, took the keys out of the ignition, and gave it back to the man.
"Now, how about some gas money for the gas you wasted on your little ride?" The man demanded as he held out his hand.
"You want money now?!" Larry asked as Barry and Penny came up to him.
"Of course," The man said, "You used my jet ski without permission, so the least you can do is pay me for the gas you used up."
"Sir, we don't have any money," Barry said.
"Now guys, I think I should pay this nice man back," Larry said before facing the man again, "If you want some money, my parents are right over there. Explain everything to them and they should pay you back."
"Thank you," The man said as he walked off in the direction Larry pointed to, unaware that he has been had.
"Run!" Larry shouted as he, his brother, and cousin booked it out of the area.
The McCormick kids ran all the way back to the hotel and into the lobby where they found Karen just standing there.
"Mom!" Penny shouted.
"Penny, boys, hey!" Karen greeted her daughter and nephews, "So how's your day going?"
"Horrible," Larry said, "We keep getting ourselves into trouble."
"Speak for yourself, Penny and I are innocent here," Barry said, "You're the one who keeps getting us in hot water!"
"Well, surely your day isn't going nowhere near as bad as mine," Karen said rubbing her head.
"What happened mom?" Penny asked.
"I kind of overdid it at the bar," Karen explained, "The headaches from my hangover are starting to go away, and now I'm trying to look for Firkle."
"Have you seen mom and dad around here anywhere?" Barry asked looking around for his and Larry's parents.
As if on cue, Kenny and Lola came up to them. Lola ran up to her two sons and hugged them warmly.
"Oh, there's my two precious boys!" Lola said as she hugged and kissed her sons.
"Well hey there, lovebirds, how was your little 'honeymoon'?" Karen teased
"We couldn't really enjoy it all that much," Lola said, "Too many things reminded us you all, especially you Larry and Barry."
"Spending time apart from you all during our vacation was the biggest mistake I think I've ever made," Kenny said remorsefully.
"I second that, dad." Larry concurred.
"Ditto," Karen said.
"You all didn't have a great vacation by yourselves either?" Kenny asked.
"We'll talk about it later," Barry said, "Right now I want to know where Uncle Firkle is."
"Over here gang!" Firkle called as he approached the group of six. He had just come from the casino and he is hauling a huge sack of cash over his shoulder.
"Where'd you get that money from, babe?" Karen asked.
"I made out like a bandit at the casino, Karen!" Firkle said proudly.
"I'll say," Kenny said in amazement, "There's got to be at least $5,000 in that sack.
"Actually $5,267, but who's counting?" Firkle said.
"Sounds like Uncle Firkle is the only one of us here who had a legitimately good day," Barry lamented.
"Despair not, Barry," Firkle said, "For I wish to share my good fortune with all of you, and I intend to do that by taking you all out to dinner."
"Any particular place you want to go, sweetie?" Karen asked.
After thinking for a bit, Firkle made his decision, "That place Lola mentioned earlier didn't sound too bad."
That night the McCormick clan went to Jimmy Buffet's Margaritaville Restaurant. The whole lot of them had an absolute blast. It was certainly more fun than most of the family had earlier that day, especially since they were all together. They partook in burgers and fries, shared a few laughs, and listened to some classic Jimmy Buffet tunes. At the end of the night, the McCormick Family knew that whenever times get rough, and fate keeps dealing them a bad hand, they'd always have each other.
Seven Piece: The Donovan and The Smith's Vacation
The Paradise Island Gift Shop: The perfect place to buy the perfect souvenir to use as a memento for the perfect vacation. The Donovan and Smith families are shopping there right now after having a fun filled day.
We first look in on Kurt and Ursula Smith, who are looking at some hot sauce and spice samplers that they could bring back home with them and use them at their steakhouse.
"Ginger Lime," Kurt read the label to one of the bottles, "I wonder what that tastes like?"
"Check this out, Kurty," Ursula said, "Spicy Sea Salts. This could go good on some of our fries."
With Red, she is looking through some sweatshirts. She was currently eyeing a black sweatshirt which had a picture of the Atlantis Resort at sunset, and the hotel's logo beneath it.
"I wonder if they have any of these in blue?" Red thought to herself.
"Hey, Red, take a look at these," Clyde said as he showed his wife a box set of seashell Christmas ornaments.
"Hey, good find, sweetie," Red said, "These really will look swell on our tree this year."
"I also thought we could use this," Clyde said as he then showed her a Coconut Lavendar Bath and Body Sampler, "You know, for when we get back home and decide to have a romantic midnight bathroom rendezvous."
"Oh, Clyde, I love the way you think," Red said with a naughty smirk.
With the kids, Chelsea is looking at a shelf that has bunches of towels.
"Hey, Tommy be honest, which towel would you think I look better laying on, the red or the aqua?" Chelsea asked.
"Forget about that," Tommy said as he showed his sister a blue tin, "Look here, saltwater taffy!"
"You know mom and dad won't let you have that after your last dentist appointment," Chelsea said.
"Come on, I get one cavity in all eight years of my life and now they want to cut me off from candy entirely," Tommy lamented.
"Maybe I'll ask Odette which towel she thinks I should get. Do you know where she is?" Chelsea asked.
The brother and sister looked around the gift shop before eventually finding her at the front desk. She appears to be buying something that comes in a large box, and she just handed the cashier some cash.
"Thank you, sir," Odette thanked the cashier as Chelsea and Tommy came up to her.
"What do you have there, Odette?" Tommy asked.
"I bought myself a metal detector," Odette said proudly as she showed it off, "With this baby, finding Alejandro Cervantes' treasure should be a snap!"
"Wow that looks so cool," Chelsea said.
"I'm going to take it with me to the beach tomorrow," Odette said, "I binged that book last night and learned more about Cervantes. Apparently, he'd burry a lone doubloon attached to a note in the sand. These doubloons are a supposed trail to where he kept his real loot, and the notes give hints as to where the next doubloon is."
As Odette was talking, there was another shopper in the gift shop wearing a hoodie, and he booked it out of there as fast as he could. The kids stared off after him as he ran out of their line of sight.
"What was that all about?" Chelsea asked.
Once the hooded man got far enough away from the gift shop, he removed his hood to reveal the face of Jacques Brodeur!
"Oh, la, la!" Jacques laughed, "So this Alejandro Cervantes has left a trail of golden goodies that leads to the real deal. Tres bien! I'll just follow those little fille all the way to the treasure, and then I'll snatch it all up before she has the opportunity to do anything about it. And then, when mon belle Bebe sees me with the precious loot, she'll have no choice but to dump that putain Stan on the spot! Oh yes, it's a brilliant plan indeed."
Jacques continues to walk away as we cut back to the Donovan and Smith families at the gift shop.
"I see you used your allowance to purchase a metal detector, Odette," Kurt said.
"That's right, dad," Odette said, "Tomorrow, I'm going out with this bad boy, and I'm going to find Alejandro Cervantes' treasure!"
"Not without us, I hope," Ursula said.
"Okay," Odette said.
"Can Tommy and I come along too?" Chelsea asked.
"You'll have to ask your parents, kids," Kurt said, "If they yes, we say yes."
"Well, we were planning on hitting the beach tomorrow too," Clyde said, "Why not, we'll tag along on your little treasure hunt too."
"Yeah, it sounds like fun," Red said.
"I like the sound of this," Odette said, "The seven of us embarking on a whirlwind pirate adventure! This is the stuff they write about in the history books!"
"Just one thing, Odette," Clyde said, "If this is a pirate adventure, can we parody One Piece?"
"How much do you want to parody?" Odette asked.
The only thing Clyde responded with was a blunt, "Yes."
(Cue One Piece Pirate Rap Parody)
Odette: (Narrating) There once was a pirate named Alejandro Cervantes, who was one bad mother. He had a scimitar hand, a cannon leg, and riches that would make Jeff Bezos blush. Before he froze to death on his North Pole expedition, I imagine these were the final words he said...
Alejandro: (V.O) My fortune lies in the Bahamas. Hopefully a resort isn't built over it. But if two families on vacation find it, they can split it in seven pieces.
Odette: (Narrating) And so, two families from Colorado decided to vacation in the Bahamas, hoping to find Alejandro's treasure to make all of their dreams come true.
(YO! Ya-yo, ya-yo! Dreamin', don't give it up Chelsea and Odette!)
(After a series of shots of cannon fire, we see Chelsea, Tommy, and Odette watching the sunset from the shore)
(Dreamin', don't give it up Clyde and Kurt!)
(Clyde and Kurt are playing golf at one of the Bahama's golf courses and Clyde is happy because he just sank a hole-in-one, and Kurt is applauding him)
(Dreamin', don't give it up Red and Ursula!)
(Red and Ursula are on a fishing charter, and Ursula just reeled up a huge fish and now both she and red are beating it into unconsciousness with bats as other people aboard the charter just watch in confusion and amusement)
(Dreamin', don't give it give it up (x5))
(Back on the shore, Chelsea, Odette, and Tommy are watching the sun set. In their minds, the sun turns into a shiny gold doubloon and the three kids get dollar sign irises as a result)
(Here's how the story goes we find out 'bout a treasure in the Bahamas there's no doubt. The girl whose eyes are on it will sing 'I'll be queen of the pirates, I'm going to be queen!")
(We start with an aerial view of the Bahamas, then a picture of Cervantes' treasure from Odette's book. With a twinkle in her eye, Odette closes her book and does a fist pump)
(Ya-yo, ya-yo, ya-yo...oh-ho)
(Odette is leading her family and the Donovans through a cave, but she steps on a tile, triggering a huge bolder that starts rolling towards them. The group of seven run away Indiana Jones style, in hopes of not getting squished)
(Her name is Odette! Don't forget Chelsea! Gonna be queens of the pirates!)
(Odette pops up in front of the camera, doing a badass pose with her arms crossed. Chelsea then comes up from behind her and does the same pose, but she does it so she and Odette are back-to-back. The camera then zooms out to show the two of them standing on top of a mountain of riches)
(They're on vacation! How did they get here? Ye-he-he, their friend won the lottery! Ya-yo, ya-yo!)
(Clips from 'Airport Antics' where everyone initially arrives to the Bahamas are shown followed by a clip of Stan winning the lottery in the episode 'The Lottery Ticket)
(His name is Clyde, and he's an ex-marine! His red-haired babe, Red, is anything but mean!)
(Clips of Clyde in action from the episode 'Gathering Intel' are shown, followed by a clip from 'Wedding 2: Electric Boogaloo' of Clyde and Red dancing, followed by Red giving the camera thumbs up)
(Ursula's delivering a swift butt kicking! Kurt is cooking, Tommy's doctoring)
(Ursula is seen beating the crap out of a thug who is a head taller than her. This is followed by a clip of Kurt cooking burgers with Clyde from the episode 'Matthew's First Birthday'. This is followed by a shot of Tommy forging a signature before he notices the camera there, then he has to cover the document, embarrassed)
(Ya-yo, ya-yo, ya-yo...oh-ho. Split the treasure in seven pieces. That's what they're going to do when they find it!)
(The two families are riding a boat, Odette and Chelsea on the bow pointing forward while everyone else does all of the work)
(Ya-yo, ya-yo, split it up in seven pieces!)
(The group of seven do one last badass pose before the title shows up reading 'Seven Piece.')
Now that that piece of anime wackiness is done, it's time for these two families to embark on their journey!
The next morning, the Donovans and the Smiths met up at the beach to begin their treasure hunt. Odette had her metal detector out and ready.
"My book says that this was the beach that Cervantes landed on," Odette said, "I have a hunch that he buried his first doubloon here."
"Well what are we waiting for, let's get to looking!" Chelsea said enthusiastically. "Odette, you're the one with a metal detector so you'll go it alone. Tommy is with me, mom and dad are a team, and so is Mr. and Mrs. Smith."
"I love that movie," Kurt said with a smile.
"Okay gang, less talky more searchy," Clyde said, "We're wasting daylight, let's move!"
With that, the group of seven split up to look for the first of Cervantes' doubloons/clues.
We first look at Odette as she searches for the doubloons with her new metal detector.
"Okay, come to mama," Odette said as she combed the beach.
After a few minutes of searching, the detector started to beep. Odette wasted no time in digging up what she found. After digging it up, a frown spread across her face as she pulled a tin can out from the sand. Odette went back to looking until her detector began to beep again. She got to digging and pulled up someone's keys.
"Are these keys to a Lincoln Town Car?" Odette asked upon observing the keys, "I don't even think they make these anymore."
Odette put the keys back in the sand and continued her beach combing. When the detector beeped again, she dug up a kitchen knife with small spatters of dried blood on it.
"What the fu...did a murder happen here?!" Odette shouted as she reburied the knife and continued her hunt.
Meanwhile, Tommy had just finished digging a hole with no luck.
"Chelsea, any luck so far?" Tommy called to his sister who was digging a series of holes by some palm trees.
"No, but I have a feeling I'm getting close," Chelsea said as she began to dig another hole.
"Sis, why are you so focused on that one area?" Tommy asked, "The doubloon could be anywhere."
"I'm simply thinking like a pirate," Chelsea explained, "If I were a pirate, I wouldn't bury my valuables anywhere. I'd look for a landmark to bury it under so it's easier to find."
"That sounds too simple," Tommy said, "Landmarks would be the first thing rival pirates would check."
"It might be simple, but at least it makes the most sense," Chelsea said as she continued digging. Tommy just shook his head and continued his search elsewhere.
Elsewhere on the beach, two teenagers are throwing a frisbee around.
"Yo, Jarvis, go long!" One of the teenagers shouted as he tossed the frisbee at his friend.
"I got it, I got it!" Jarvis shouted as he ran to catch the frisbee. However, he wasn't looking where he was going as he tripped over Clyde, who was digging a hole in search for one of the doubloons.
"Hey, watch where you're going, you!" Clyde shouted at the teenager, causing his friend to come over and help him up.
"What's your problem dude," Jarvis asked, "We're trying to have some fun here."
Hearing the commotion, Red ran over to see if her husband needed any help.
"Clyde, sweetie, are you okay?" Red asked as she helped her husband onto his feet.
"Well, hello," the teenager said upon seeing Red, "Como tale vu, let me holla at you."
"Excuse me?" Red said disgusted.
"Watch it pal, that's my wife and she's off limits!" Clyde threatened.
"Relax, killer," Jarvis teased, "All my friend said is that your wife is hot. There's no crime against that is there?"
"No, that's not a crime, but murder is!" Clyde said as he prepared himself to defend his wife's honor, but Red held him back before he could pounce.
"Please excuse my husband, he gets rather protective of me," Red said as she began to walk away, dragging Clyde behind her, "Now if you'll excuse us, please."
"Hey, sweet thing," The teenager shouted, "If you're looking to ditch that rabid animal you call a husband, you know where to find us!"
"Bite me!" Red shouted back.
With Kurt and Ursula, they are in the middle of a family barbecue that's being held on the beach, digging through the sand that's there in hopes of finding one of the doubloons. One of the kids at the barbecue notices them and decides to tell her father, who is cooking hot dogs on the girl.
"Daddy, daddy," The little girl cried, "Some people are here trying to crash the party!"
The father, having seen Kurt and Ursula digging through the sand, decides to confront them.
"Can I help you two?" The father asked annoyed.
"Oh, we're sorry for crashing your party sir," Ursula said, "We're just looking for gold doubloons."
"Are you two looney or something?" The father asked rudely, "In case you two haven't notice the time of pirates is over! Now get out before I make you get out!"
"Okay, fine, we'll leave," Kurt said, "Just one question...is that the new model Weber grill?"
"What?" The father asked, unaware that Kurt is referring to his barbecue grill.
"Yeah, that is the new model!" Kurt said, "I hope you're putting those six burners to good use. You want me to give you some cooking tips. I can tell you how to make ribs so good it'll make you want to slap your mama!"
"GET OUT!" The father screamed causing Kurt and Ursula to run away.
After a while, the group of seven regrouped for a status report.
"Okay team, what did we find?" Red asked.
"We couldn't find anything mom," Tommy said remorsefully as Kurt and Ursula shook their heads.
"My metal detector keeps picking up junk," Odette cried, "I couldn't find the doubloon anywhere."
"I'm starting think there was no treasure and we just wasted our time," Clyde said as everyone else started to take his side.
"Oh, there's a treasure here, and I'm not resting until I find it!" Odette said.
"How about this, we flip a coin," Kurt said, "Heads we keep looking, tails we give up."
"Anybody have a coin?" Red asked.
"Yeah, mom, right here," Chelsea said as she pulled out a gold coin from her pocket. It was one of the doubloons! Upon seeing Chelsea with the doubloon, everyone gasped.
"Chelsea, where did you find that?" Odette asked.
"I found it over by that rock that looks like Benjamin Franklin," Chelsea answered.
"Chelsea, that's one of the doubloons we're looking for!" Odette shouted, "Why didn't you say you found it earlier?"
"I guess I was so busy digging that I just thought that doubloon was a regular coin," Chelsea said.
"Was it attached to a clue?" Odette asked.
"Now that you mention it, it did have a piece of paper stuck to it," Chelsea said as she pulled the clue out from her other pocket and handed it to Odette, "Take a look."
Odette began to read the clue aloud as the other six with her leaned in to get a closer listen. Odette read the clue and it said...
'To the finder of the first doubloon, yer in for a neat day. Doubloon number two is across the sea in Salt Cay."
"Salt Cay?" Clyde thought, "Isn't that another name for Blue Lagoon Island?"
"I think so," Red said.
"You think that's where the second doubloon is?" Ursula asked.
"It must be," Red said.
"Quickly then," Odette shouted, "To Blue Lagoon Island!"
The seven treasure hunters proceeded to leave the beach and catch the next boat to the island to continue their treasure hunt. Little did they know, Jacques was listening to them from afar. He cackles to himself as he leaves the area to follow them some more.
Upon arriving to Blue Lagoon Island, the Donovans and Smiths were greeted by loads upon loads of tourists from all over the world. Our heroes didn't know where to begin the next part of their treasure hunt.
"So, should we start combing the beaches?" Odette asked.
"Yeah, let's go!" Chelsea said.
"In a minute kids, all of this treasure hunting is making me hungry," Clyde said.
"Hey Kurt, why don't you and Clyde go order us up some food while Red and I take the kids to the island's beach so they can continue the treasure hunt," Ursula said.
"Excellent idea, babe," Kurt said, "Be careful."
Red and Ursula took the kids to the Blue Lagoon Beach while Clyde and Kurt stepped inside the surf shack that was there to get some food.
When the two men entered the surf shack, they walked right up to the counter where they found a blonde man wearing white shorts, a yellow floral shirt, and a seashell necklace. Kurt and Clyde decided to introduce themselves to him.
"Hello, sir," Kurt greeted.
"And a big Blue Lagoon hello to you, dudes," The man said in a laid-back tone, "Name's Mitch."
"I'm Clyde and this is Kurt," Clyde began, "We were wondering if you could hook us up with seven order of burgers and fries."
"Of course I can bro," Mitch said, "I'm manager of this here shack, and it would be my pleasure to serve up some chow for you y'all."
"That'd be wonderful, sir," Kurt said.
When Mitch got out of the way and headed for the kitchen to place the order, the two men noticed that behind where he stood, framed on the wall is Cervantes' second doubloon, complete with the clue. Seeing it made Kurt and Clyde gasp and they had to regain their composure when Mitch came back to ask them something.
"Yo, I forgot to ask you two how do you want your burgers cooked," Mitch said to the awestruck gentlemen, "What's your beef, pals?"
"That doubloon on the wall," Clyde began, "Where'd you get it from?"
Mitch turned around to look at the doubloon.
"Oh, this old thing?" Mitch asked, "Yeah, construction crew found it when they were building this place. Apparently, this belonged to some old pirate dude. The foreman asked me if I wanted it and your boy here ain't someone to turn down free gold."
"If you don't mind sir, can we have it?" Kurt asked.
"Can we at least see the clue?" Clyde asked.
"I ain't about to hand over my most valuable possession to two strangers from who knows where." Mitch said defensively, "Unless..."
"Unless what?" Clyde asked.
"Unless you two can beat my best chefs in a cooking competition," Mitch said, "If you win, I'll give you dudes my doubloon and the clue with it. If my chefs win, I keep them...and your burgers will cost you twice as much."
Kurt and Clyde looked at each other and nod.
"You're on!" The two men shouted.
Meanwhile Ursula, Red, and the children come back from combing the beaches. They haven't found anything yet and have an air of depression around them when they approach the surf shack.
"I can't believe we couldn't find that doubloon," Odette lamented, "I even checked some places twice."
"I don't care about the treasure right now," Tommy said, "I want some food!"
"Yeah, I thought Kurt and Clyde would have come back to us with food by now," Red said with a hint of venom in her voice.
As they enter the surf shack, they see what was taking the men so long. They are greeted by crowds of people who are waiting for the cook-off to begin. The surf shack manager, Mitch, grabs a microphone and speaks into it.
"Welcome to the first annual Blue Lagoon Cook-Off, dudes!" Mitch said, whipping the audience into a frenzy, "Whoever wins this competition will recieve the grand prize, this gold doubloon!"
The girls and Tommy watched as Mitch raised the Doubloon over his head, surprised that he had the doubloon the whole time.
"No wonder why we couldn't find it!" Odette said.
"But where's dad and Mr. Smith?" Chelsea asked as she searched for the two men in the crowd.
"Let's meet our competitors, shall we?" Mitch asked, "In the blue corner, we have Blue Lagoon favorites who really know their way around a kitchen: give it up for Jordan Hamsley and Robby Shay!"
The crowd gave a round of applause as Jordan and Robby gave a cordial bow to the audience.
"And in the red corner, we have the away team," Mitch began, "Two restaurateurs all the way from Colorodo, give a warm Blue Lagoon welcome for Clyde Donovan and Kurt Smith!"
The audience cheered for them as did their families.
"You got this dad!" Chelsea shouted.
"Go get that doubloon!" Odette shouted.
"Show those surf shack shit heads how to cook a real meal, Kurty!" Ursula shouted.
"What she said!" Red said.
"You all have one hour to cook up a dream." Mitch said, "Ready, set, go!"
The two teams get to work cooking their meal. The red team immediately gets to work, leaving Clyde and Kurt to wonder what they'll cook up.
"What do you think they're up to, Kurt?" Clyde asked.
"Don't know, don't care," Kurt said as he handed Clyde a bag of potatoes, "All that matters is we make a meal that'll knock Mitch's socks off! Get to work on peeling these potatoes while I prepare the steak!"
"Roger that, buddy!" Clyde said.
A montage shows Kurt and Clyde as they work their magic. Clyde peels his potatoes with the speed of a cheetah before putting them in a pot to boil while Kurt tenderizes his meat with the strength of a silver-backed gorilla.
Clyde is then seen mashing the potatoes up with intense determination in his eyes as Kurt cooks his steak in a big pan, pouring in spices and marinades to give it flavor.
Clyde makes a small crater in his mashed potatoes to pour some gravy in that he has cooking in a pot on a burner. With the steak done, Kurt cuts it up into slices and puts the steak slices onto the plate with the potatoes. The two men even put some steamed carrots on the side for good measure.
"Alright, chefs, time's up!" Mitch said, "Red team, you dudes are up first."
Clyde and Kurt hand Mitch his meal for judging.
"Oh, steak and mashed potatoes," Mitch said, "So far so good. Now how does it taste?"
Mitch took a spoonful of the mashed potatoes and ate it, eliciting an 'Mmm,' from him. He then took a piece of the steak and ate that, earning yet another 'Mmm,' from him.
"I must say, you dudes cook up a mean steak!" Mitch said, causing Kurt and Clyde to smile, "Unfortunately, this is a cook-off where you have to cook surf shack food, not your five-star gourmet."
"WHAT!?" The Donovans and Smiths shouted.
"Did I not make that clear, dudes?" Mitch said, "We're in a surf shack, I assume you'd know to cook up burgers, chicken tenders, fish and chips, you know that junk."
"You didn't make that clear, asshole!" Clyde shouted.
"Well, even if I allowed you two to cook whatever you wanted, I'd still dock points off," Mitch said.
"For what?!" Kurt screamed
"You served my meal up with carrots, man," Mitch said, "I hate carrots. Anyway, I'm going to have to disqualify you two, which means that Robby Shay and Jordan Hamsley win!"
The audience, bar the Smiths and Donovans, cheer as Robby and Jordan hold up their meal which is nothing more than some chicken tenders with French fries and coleslaw. This unfair loss didn't sit well with our heroes, especially Ursula.
"You know, to hell with this!" Ursula shouted as she ran up to Mitch, punched him out, and stole the doubloon from the back wall before making a run for the exit.
"RUN!" Ursula shouted as the rest of her family and the Donovans booked it out of the surf shack, the crowd booing as they ran away. In the crowd, however, is Jacques who watched as the two families ran away. He smirks wickedly before leaving the surf shack to follow them some more.
When the two families got far enough away from the chaos, they stopped to catch their breath and Tommy took a puff from his inhaler.
"That was totally insane," Red said.
"Mrs. Smith, that was awesome!" Chelsea said, "You've got a good woman there, Mr. Smith."
"Don't I know it," Kurt said as he hugged his wife, "I love me a woman who knows how to throw a punch."
"Cool your jets there, big boy," Ursula said, "Let's see what the second clue says."
Odette wasted no time in taking the doubloon and clue out from the frame. She placed the doubloon in her pocket with the other one and read the second clue.
'You are at the halfway mark to finding my treasure, dare I say you're on the brink. Doubloon number three is on a beach whose sand is only one color; the color of pink.'
"Pink sand?" Chelsea asked, "How weird."
"Not unless you live in the Bahamas, in which you're familiar with such sand," Kurt said, "Specifically if you live on Harbor Island!"
"So that's our next stop, eh?" Odette asked, "Alright, gang, let's move out!"
The two families got on a boat that took them to Harbor Island. Upon landing, they headed straight for the Pink Sands Beach. All seven members of the group stared at the sand in amazement as they've never seen anything like it.
"Pink sand," Tommy said, "There's something you don't see every day."
"Apparently, the sand here is pink because of crushed seashells," Red said, "It really is a pretty color isn't it?"
"Sightseeing time is later, treasure hunting is now!" Odette said as she readied her metal detector, "Let's spread out and see if we can find the doubloon."
"Right," Everyone else said.
The seven of them split up and began to comb the beach. Fifteen minutes later and everyone is still looking for it.
"God, how hard is it to find a big round gold coin in a pile of pink sand?" Clyde asked annoyed, "It should stick out like a sore thumb."
"Chelsea, sis, any luck?" Tommy asked.
"Can't talk right now, I'm making sand angles!" Chelsea said as she gleefully made sand angels in the pink sand.
"Sis this is serious!" Tommy cried, "Besides you shouldn't do that with sand. You're going to be so uncomfortable later. I mean, it's coarse and rough and irritating and it gets everywhere!"
"Tommy, no T.V for three days when we get home!" Clyde shouted, "You know better than to quote Star Wars Prequels!"
"Says the guy who finds joy in watching the Sequel Trilogy!" Tommy shouted back.
"Touché," Clyde said.
"Guys over here, the metal detector is picking something up!" Odette shouted as everyone came over to where she was. They watched as Odette dug through the pink sand and pulled up the doubloon and its clue.
"Booyah!" Odette shouted as she detached the doubloon from the clue, "That was too easy!"
As if on cue, a seagull swoops in and snatches the clue from her hand.
"Hey, you stupid bird!" Odette shouted, "Come back here with my clue!"
"Follow that gull!" Tommy shouted as the group gave chase. They chased the bird all the way to its next which is high up in a palm tree.
"Who wants to be the brave pirate and climb this tree to get the clue?" Kurt asked.
"Don't worry, guys, I got this!" Chelsea said as she started to climb up the palm tree.
"Be careful sweetie!" Clyde shouted.
"For a little girl, your daughter has some impressive upper body strength," Ursula said as she watched Chelsea climb the tree.
Chelsea eventually makes it to the top of the tree and comes face-to-face with the seagull who has stuffed the clue into its nest.
"Hey there, little birdie," Chelsea said nervously, "You seem to have taken something that my friends and I want. So, if you don't mind, I'm just going take it back from you and I'll be on my merry way."
Chelsea reaches to take the clue, but the moment she grabs it, the seagull begins to squawk and fly around her in an attempt to scare her off.
"Hey, back off!" Chelsea shouted as she tried to protect the clue, "You're not getting this clue back!"
As the seagull continued to harass Chelsea, Clyde positioned himself underneath her.
"Chelsea, jump off!" Clyde shouted, "I'll catch you!"
"Look out below!" Chelsea shouted as she let go of the tree, clue in hand, and Clyde caught her, "Thanks, dad."
The seagull wasn't ready to give up as it began to swoop down in an attempt to get the clue back. But his attempt to get it back is stopped when Red suddenly grabs it and takes it offscreen to start beating it up! Feathers fly as Red is heard shouting and punching while the seagull squawks out in pain.
"Don't you ever hurt my daughter, ever, you pathetic sky rat!" Red screamed.
Red eventually came back covered in feathers, some seagull blood on her knuckles which she wipes off on her clothes. She brushes the feathers off before giving Chelsea a hug.
"Hey, Kurt, you're not the only one who loves a woman who can throw a punch," Clyde said.
After Red releases Chelsea from her hug, she hands the clue to Odette who reads it aloud.
'You've found the last doubloon, the hunt for my treasure you've almost aced. Hurry to Mount Alvernia, hurry, there's no time to waste.'
"Mount Alvernia," Kurt said, "Isn't that on Cat Island?"
"Yes, I think so," Ursula said.
"Mount Alvernia, here we come," Odette said as the group of seven left the area to head out that way. Jacques, meanwhile, was hiding behind another palm tree listening on where they're going next.
The Donovans and Smiths took a boat to Cat Island and climbed all the way up to the top of Mount Alvernia where its hermitage is. The whole walk up, Odette was using her metal detector to see if Cervantes buried his treasure along the path. She couldn't even get a reading when they reached the top of the mountain.
"I don't get it," Odette said, "The clue said that the treasure was buried here, but my metal detector isn't picking anything up."
"Maybe there's a clue on how to get to the treasure in the hermitage," Kurt said, "Let's go check it out."
The group entered the hermitage and found a peculiar sight. One the far wall was three small holes the same size as the doubloons that they collected.
"Hmm..." Went Odette as she walked up to the three holes. She took out the doubloons and placed them in the holes. Doing so caused a secret passage to open up in the floor of the hermitage, revealing a staircase that goes downwards.
"Now I've seen everything," Red said amazed.
"Well, down we go," Odette said leading the way.
The two families descended the long staircase, walking slowly and carefully in case the passageway had any booby traps. But they eventually reached the bottom of the stairs where they found a cave filled with piles of treasures. Gold, silver, jewelry, all of it was here and ripe for the taking.
"Jackpot, baby!" Odette shouted, "Chelsea, Tommy, come on!"
The three kids ran off as fast as they could so they could explore more of the treasure cave to see what other valuables lie within.
"Wait up for us, kids!" Kurt shouted after them. The parents were about to chase after them when suddenly they heard a devious laughter. The four of them turned in the laugh's direction to find Jacques Brodeur with his hands behind his back.
"Tres bien!" Jacques shouted, "You lot have found your way to Alejandro Cervantes' treasure loot just as I hoped you would, and even better, I managed to follow you all the way here without any of you idiots noticing."
"Hey, I know you, you're that French jerk from the Sing-off!" Kurt exclaimed.
"You're also the asshat who keeps trying to take Bebe away from Stan," Red said.
"Indeed, I am," Jacques said proudly, "Speaking of mon belle, Bebe, I intend on using Cervantes' treasure to win her love and affection. So, I would greatly appreciate it if you bid me adieu, while I steal this cave's goodies."
"Not gonna, happen," Clyde said getting ready to fight.
As a confrontation was surely brewing, Odette, Thomas, and Chelsea hid behind a huge pile of treasure to see what was going on.
"I can see reasoning with you people is trés impossible, I think it's high time we take ultimatiums into account, no?" Jacques said as he finally revealed what he had behind his back, a pistol. Seeing the pistol made the four parents gasp, and scared the three kids as they were watching from afar.
"Now you are left with two choices," Jacques said, "You either leave quietly and I take the treasure. Or, you stay, I shoot a bullet between your beady little eyes, then I take the treasure. Either way, I emerge victorious."
The four parents weren't sure what to do next, and neither did the kids as they hid behind the treasure pile.
"This is bad," Tommy said, "I thought Mr. Marsh ditched this jerk back in New York."
"It's hard to kill a dirty cockroach like him," Chelsea muttered.
"What are we going to do?" Thomas began worry, "The odds are not in our favor right now."
Odette looked around before seeing one of Alejandro's old long coats and pirate hat that he left when he first put his loot in the cave. She also found a grey colored barrel sitting in the corner and a scimitar laying in the gold.
"I have an idea!" Odette said.
Meanwhile, Jacques still had his gun pointed at the parents as he was hellbent on getting some of the loot.
"Okay, putains!" Jacques said, "What's it going to be, easy way or painfully hard way. Your choice."
"I don't think you'd shoot us," Clyde said, "You're bluffing."
"Just for that, you will be the first to go!" Jacques shouted as he took aim at Clyde.
"Clyde, no!" Red cried.
Jacques began a countdown as he readied to fire his gun, "Trois...deux...u-"
Jacques stopped counting when a huge figure started to lumber towards him. It made ghostly moaning sounds and loud stomping noises as it drew closer to him. The figure was wearing a long coat and pirate hat, a scimitar hand which it waved frantically, and what looked like a cannon leg. This figure looked like that of Alejandro Cervantes. This site made Jacques so scared that he dropped his gun on the ground.
"Begone...trespasser!" The figure said in a ghostly tone of voice, "No one steals my loot and lives to tell the tale!"
"Zut alors!" Jacques cried as the figure let out more haunted wails, "It's the ghost of Alejandro Cervantes!"
Jacques turned tail and screamed as he ran out of the cave, then out of the hermitage, and then down Mount Alvernia's trail.
Back at the treasure cave, the four adults looked back at Alejandro Cervantes' ghost and they saw that it was just Odette, Chelsea, and Tommy in disguise. Odette was the feet using the grey barrel as a make-believe cannon, Chelsea was the torso who controlled the scimitar hand, and Tommy was the head of the disguise.
"Ha, ha, Odette's Totem Trench trick saves the day again!" Odette said proudly.
The parents hugged their kids tight.
"Thanks, kids, you really saved our skins just now," Clyde said.
"I don't think our lives were in danger to begin with Clyde," Kurt said as he picked up the gun Jacques had. He pulled the trigger to reveal that it was filled with blanks.
"I knew that French asshat was bluffing," Clyde said.
This statement caused everyone to laugh.
"Well, now that we've gotten rid of that asshole, let's get to taking some of this sweet loot!" Ursula said.
"Good idea, Mrs. Smith," Chelsea said as she looked to see that she was standing next to a column that held a beautiful ruby, "Snagging this ruby looks like a good first step."
Chelsea took the ruby from the column, but as soon as she did it started to sink into the ground, startling everyone and causing Chelsea to drop the ruby. Then things got worse. The whole cave started to shake and rocks started to fall from the cave's ceiling.
"RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!" Kurt shouted as the two families ran back up the stairs that lead to the outside.
The Donovans and the Smiths made it back to the hermitage just in time as soon the entire staircase was blocked by rocks. There was no way back down unless they wanted to spend the rest of their vacation digging through the rocks. The way they saw it, Cervantes' treasure is lost forever.
"And so ends our hopes on getting even the smallest portion of Cervantes' treasure," Clyde lamented.
"We came all this way and ended up empty handed," Ursula said.
"Not necessarily," Odette said as she looked to see the three doubloons still in their holes on the wall. She took them out, put one in her pocket and handed the other two to Chelsea and Tommy.
"Hey, thanks Odette," Chelsea said.
"No, thank you all for coming with me on this unforgettable day," Odette said, "These doubloons will serve as the perfect reminder of today. They're the symbols of great adventures and unbreakable friendships. Call me corny, but I think those are the real treasures here."
"Well said, Odette," Kurt said.
The two families walked out of the hermitage and admired the beautiful sunset. Even if they didn't walk out with Cervantes' treasure and only had the three doubloons to show for their journey, they obtained something far more valuable than any amount of gold; Unforgettable memories, grand adventures, and most importantly, an undying love and friendship for each other.
Odette was right, those are real treasures.
Bahama Forever: The Stotch and The Powers' Vacation
(Note: Before we begin, I am aware that Boseman and Taylor were engaged in 2019 and the proposal most likely didn't occur in the Bahamas, but for the sake of emotions and story I'm having their engagement occur here. In short, I'm taking creative liberties)
Another day, another duo of families that we focus on. This time it's the Stotch and Powers Families.
The two families are just hanging out at The Point Restaurant and Grill, chatting, eating their lunches, and overall having a good time.
"So Stotches, what's on the agenda for you guys today?" Bridgette asked.
"Millie and I are going to take the kids to the Aquaventure Water Park," Butters answered.
"Sounds cool," Sid said, "Mom and I are going to check out the Ardastra Gardens after this."
"Mr. Powers isn't coming with you, Sid?" Paul asked.
"No," Justin answered, "The wife gave me permission to hit the links today. I hear that the golf courses are absolutely amazing here."
"Sounds like we all have a very neat day planned out," Millie said.
"Amen to that, mom," Paul said.
"Yeah, amen to that," Carrie said, copying her brother.
"Don't...just...don't," Paul said to his sister annoyed.
The families continued to peacefully eat their lunches until Sid notices an African-American couple walking by. The man in the couple looked very familiar to him, so he decided to alert his parents.
"Yo, mom, dad," Sid began, "That black dude, have we seen him somewhere before. He looks familiar."
"Now Sid, we had this talk before," Justin said, "Saying that all blacks look the same is racist."
"No, I'm serious, I know I've seen him somewhere before, but where?" Sid wondered
"Sid, what's up?" Paul asked.
"That black dude looks familiar," Sid said.
The African-American man turns around and it's revealed that he's the one and only Chadwick Boseman, and he is with his girlfriend Taylor Simone Ledward. Seeing Boseman's face made all but Bridgette gasp in surprise.
"Oh my God, it's Chadwick Boseman!" Millie said.
"Who's Chadwick Boseman?" Bridgette said, causing everyone at the table to give her dirty looks.
"Mrs. Powers, are you being serious?" Paul asked.
"Chadwick Boseman is only one of the greatest actors the MCU has ever known," Butters explained, "His Black Panther movie is one of the most influential films ever made when it comes to black history."
"And beyond his appearances in the MCU, Boseman did James Brown and Jackie Robinson proud in his films 'Get On Up' and '42' respectively." Millie chimed in.
"I've got to say hi to him," Paul said as he got out of his seat and ran up to him.
"Wait for us dude!" Sid said as he and Carrie chased after him.
"Kids, wait a minute!" Bridgette said as she, Justin, Millie, and Butters gave chase.
"Hey, Mr. Boseman, dude!" Sid shouted as the group of seven approached the actor and his girlfriend.
"Why hello there," Boseman greeted.
"Mr. Boseman, sir, we loved you in Black Panther," Paul said, "I can't think of anyone else who could play the part better, you just aced in man."
"Thank you very much, young man," Boseman said as he shook Paul's hand.
"My name is Paul, this is my little sister Carrie, and these two adults behind me are my parents," Paul introducing his family.
"Hey there, Mr. Boseman," Butters greeted, "This is my wife Millie, and my name is Leopold, but everyone calls me Butters."
"Please to meet you all," Boseman said before turning his attention to the Powers Family.
"It's an honor to see you sir," Justin greeted, "I'm Justin, this is my wife Bridgette, and this is my son Sid."
"'Sup, dude...oh, I mean, sir," Sid said.
"Hello there," Boseman said.
"I still can't believe we're in the presence of one of the greatest actors to ever bless the MCU," Paul said before turning to his parents, "Mom, dad, can Mr. Boseman and his girlfriend eat lunch with us?"
"I'm down for it," Butters said, "What say you, Justin?"
"If Chadwick and Taylor are okay with it, I say sure," Justin responded.
Boseman turned to face his girlfriend, "What do you think, babe?"
"Sure, that sounds like a great idea," Taylor said causing Paul and Carrie to cheer and Sid to smile and nod.
So Boseman and Ledward joined the Stotch and Powers families for lunch. Boseman himself was a joy to be around. He told some funny stories when he was on the set of Black Panther and Avengers Endgame, did some T'Challa impressions for everyone, and even paid the families' lunch bill. All in all, it was a very good time.
As they waited for the waiter to come back with Boseman's credit card, he and Taylor had to use the bathroom. As soon as the two of them left the table to go find the restrooms, the waiter came back with the credit card and left it on the table. Butters picked it up and looked at it.
"I think I'm going to go hand this over to Boseman so he doesn't have to come back here for it," Butters said, "No sense in him taking detours. I'll be back."
"I'll come with you, Butters," Justin said, "I got to take a whiz."
So, the two men left their table to deliver Boseman's credit card.
They found the men's restroom, opened the door, and came upon a shocking site. It was Chadwick Boseman popping opioids! Seeing this made Butters and Justin gasp, catching the actors attention.
"Uh, Mr. Boseman, what are you doing?" Butters asked, "Are those opioids?"
"Wait, it's not what it looks like!" Boseman cried.
"What it looks like is you having a slight addiction to opioids," Justin said.
"No, look, you two have got it all wrong," Boseman protested, "Let me explain. There's a good reason why I'm taking these opioids."
"If the reason is stress from being an A list actor, then there are better ways to deal with it," Butters said.
"It's not stress," Boseman said, "The reason I'm taking these opioids is because...I have colon cancer."
Hearing that made Justin and Butters' faces drop.
"No...no, you can't be serious," Butters said, "This has to be some kind of a joke."
"My parents raised me to be honest," Boseman said, "Cancer is something I'd never lie or joke about."
"Why didn't you tell us? Why didn't you tell your fans? Why are you keeping this a secret?" Justin asked.
"If I let it be known that I'm dying of colon cancer, the media would eat it up," Boseman explained, "I'll never get another peaceful moment in my last days."
"D-Dying?" Butters said ready to cry.
"Yeah, I chose to get off of treatments a few months ago when they proved to be ineffective," Boseman explained, "I've been taking these opioids to numb the pain. You know, other than you two and my immediate family, the only other person who knows of my fate is my girlfriend, Taylor. She actually thinks we came down to the Bahamas to try and get our minds off of the cancer, but I have another reason for being here."
"What's that?" Justin asked.
"The only thing I want to do before I die is propose to my beautiful Taylor so that we can get married as soon as we get back to the states," Boseman explained, "Then I can spend my final days in her warm embrace."
Justin and Butters remained silent before looking at each other and nodding.
"Mr. Boseman, do you know how you want to propose to Taylor?" Butters asked.
"To be honest, no," Boseman said, "But I know I want it to be perfect."
"Then let us help," Justin said.
"Yeah," Butters said, "My family and I will distract Taylor while Justin and his family takes you out to make sure your proposal is 100 percent perfect."
"You'd do that for me?" Boseman asked.
"You betcha," Justin said as Butters nodded.
"Thank you, you two, words cannot describe how appreciative I am of this gesture," Boseman said tearing up.
"Think nothing of it, sir," Butters said, "Consider it a thank you for blessing audiences by appearing on silver screens around the world."
The three men left the bathroom and rejoined their spouses and children.
"Oh, there they are," Taylor said as the men approached them.
"Ready to go, dad?" Paul asked his father.
"Yeah, but, can I talk to you three real quick?" Butters asked.
"Bridgette and Sid, you too," Justin motioning for his wife and son to follow him and Butters.
"Allow me to come with," Boseman said following the seven, "Darling could you wait here for a few minutes."
"Sure, honey, but don't take too long," Taylor said as the actor joined the two families. They made sure they got far enough away from Taylor so she doesn't hear them.
"What's the deal, dad?" Sid asked Justin.
"Okay, gang, listen up," Justin said, "We just learned that Mr. Boseman is diagnosed with colon cancer and...it's not looking so good for him."
This news shocked Justin and Butters' wives and children.
"Colon cancer?" Bridgette said surprised.
"Mr. Boseman, please tell me this isn't true," Paul looked at the actor with a frown.
"I'm afraid he's right, everyone," Boseman said, "I came off of treatments a few months ago and doctors estimate I have anywhere from two to three months left in me."
"This is unreal," Millie said shaking her head.
"Mr. Boseman only has one request before he passes on, and that's to propose to his girlfriend Taylor so that he can spend his last days with her in peace," Butters explained, "A beautiful sadness, really."
"And now you need us to help, right?" Sid asked.
"Precisely," Justin said, "I know we all made plans for today, but we're here for another couple of days. There will be plenty of time to have fun in the summer sun then. But right now, we all must do the Christian thing and help Mr. Boseman in proposing to his girlfriend. Who's with me?!"
"Let's do it, daddy-o!" Sid said.
"Okay," Bridgette nodded.
"I'd love to help!" Millie said.
"Yeah, let's get Mr. Boseman and Ms. Ledward hitched!" Paul and Carrie said in unison, causing Paul to look at his sister and say, "Jinxed, now you can't talk for the rest of the chapter!"
"Aww," Carrie whined.
"Alright, here's the plan," Butters began explaining, "My family and I will distract Taylor while the Powers family takes Boseman out to prepare for the proposal. Everybody understand?"
Everybody nodded or gave a 'Yeah' in agreement.
"From the bottom of my heart, thank you all," Boseman said with a smile, "You don't know how much this means to me."
The group then rejoined Taylor who was waiting patiently for them.
"We all good now?" Taylor asked Boseman, "I'm ready to go, sweetie."
"Actually, if you don't mind, babe, I'd like to hang out with the Powers Family for a bit more," Boseman said, "They haven't seen much of my movies."
"Hey, it's just my mom who isn't familiar with you. My dad and I freaking love you, man." Sid said.
"While they're doing that, you can hang out with us Taylor," Butters said, "You know so you don't get lonely."
"Alright, I don't mind," Taylor said with a shrug, "You guys seem like cool people."
"If it's okay, can we all meet up at the beach tonight for a bonfire?" Boseman asked, not wanting to spoil his plans on proposing to Taylor, "I'd like to get to know the Stotch and Powers' family a bit more. Like you said, sweetie, they seem like good people."
"Okay," Taylor said.
"Bonfire, yay!" Carrie shouted, "Bring in the marshmallows!"
"Sis, you're jinxed remember?" Paul said, silencing his sister.
"Alright, we'll be seeing you all later," Justin said as everyone when their separate ways.
The first stop for Boseman and the Powers family was Chopard Boutique so they could get a nice engagement ring. They entered the jewelry store, went straight for the rings and looked each and every one of them over to see what they think Taylor would like. The hunt for the perfect ring was left up to Boseman, Justin, and Bridgette while Sid hung back and waited until they were done.
"Hey, Mr. Boseman, you do know the 4 Cs of ring shopping, right?" Sid asked.
"4 Cs?" Boseman questioned.
"Yeah, dude. The 4 Cs: color, cut, clarity, and carat." Sid said, "I made a song all about them if you want to hear."
Sid cleared his throat and began to sing when the shop keep stopped him almost instantly.
"Hey, this is a professional jewelry store!" The shop keep shouted, "No singing on the premises!"
"Philistine," Sid muttered.
Sid's parents turned their attention back to the actor as they helped him find the perfect engagement ring. Boseman eyed all of the rings that were on display, but they were all so shiny and colorful that he couldn't decide which one Taylor would like.
"Oi, decisions, decisions," Boseman said feeling overwhelmed.
"Tell me about it," Bridgette said looking at the selection.
"Hey, Justin," Boseman said turning towards the man, "Do you remember how you found your wife's wedding ring?"
"Hmm, let me think," Justin said scratching his chin, "I wanted to go against the grain and not get anything too expensive like all of my friends were doing, but at the same time I didn't want to get anything too cheap. I also wanted to show Bridgette just how much I love and care about her so I decided to get her birthstone on her ring. What I wound up buying was a silver band with a beautiful ruby and the words 'I love you' engraved on the band. I gave it to her and she absolutely loved it."
"I still wear the ring to this day," Bridgette smiled as she proudly showed off her ring.
"Anyway, that was how I found my wedding ring," Justin said, "For you it might be different. I'd just follow my heart. Your heart is almost never wrong."
"Follow my heart, eh?" Boseman said before looking over the rings again until one ring in particular began to stand out. It was a ring with a rose gold band, a beautiful diamond, and the words 'Always & Forever' engraved on it. It might not have had a birth stone like Justin's, but Boseman knew that Taylor would absolutely love this ring the moment she saw it.
"This is the one!" Boseman said with confidence.
While Boseman and the Powers Family were out ring shopping, the Stoches took Taylor to the Dragon's Lounge at the hotel for Open Mic hours. Butters and Millie decided to have a turn while their children and Taylor watched and bounced to the beat. Their turn, in which they used to sing Marvin Gaye & Tammi Terrell's 'Ain't No Mountain High Enough,' was just winding down.
"...Ain't no mountain high enough! Ain't no valley low enough! Ain't no river wide enough! To keep me from getting to you babe!" Butters and Millie finished their song causing their children, Taylor, and the Lounge's patrons to give a round of applause. The couple went back to their table.
"You two sang that song very well," Taylor said.
"It was one of many songs that played at our wedding," Millie explained, "I think it perfeclty describes our love for one another."
"Up next, Paul Stotch!" The emcee announced.
"Well, that's my cue, wish me luck fam." Paul said as he got up on the stage and began to sing The Doors, 'People Are Strange'.
"People are strange when you're a stranger, faces look ugly when you're alone," Paul began.
"Wow, I'm surprised that someone as young as your son knows who The Doors are," Taylor said to Millie and Butters.
"Well, he's been hanging around my parents a lot lately and they love the old 60's music. I guess Paul took a liking to it." Millie said.
"Indeed" Taylor said with a nod, "Hey, listen, can I talk to you two about something?"
"Fire away," Butters said.
"It's about Chadwick, my boyfriend," Taylor explained, "He's been acting strange around me lately."
"In what way?" Millie asked.
"Especially since we arrived here at the Bahamas, he's been acting a bit more apprehensive around me, almost like he wants to tell me something but he's too afraid to ask," Taylor explained, "I mean, he knows he can ask me anything. I'm easy going. You guys think he's hiding something from me?"
Butters and Millie already knew that Taylor knew that Boseman was suffering from cancer, so they knew that wasn't what Boseman was hiding from her. By putting two and two together, they knew that Boseman was trying to hide his intentions on proposing to Taylor.
"He may be hiding something from you," Butters said not wanting to give away the surprise.
"Oh man, I hope he isn't cheating on me," Taylor stressed, "I don't know if you know, but my Chadwick is suffering from colon cancer, and he doesn't have much time left. What if he decides to live his life by being with more than one woman?"
"You think Chadwick is cheating on you?" Millie asked.
"You'd be surprised with the things that people do when they learn they're close to expiring," Taylor explained.
"Now look, Taylor," Butters began, "Even though we've just met you all literal hours ago, I can promise you right now that Chadwick would never cheat on someone like you."
"What makes you so sure?" Taylor asked.
"I have this 'sixth sense' when it comes to love," Butters explained, "I can tell that a person truly loves someone, and I can tell how much someone loves someone else, just by looking at their body language and listening to their tone of voice. Hearing Chadwick talk I can tell that he's the type of guy who would never hurt you or anyone else he cares about."
"Trust me Taylor," Millie chimed in, "I've seen my Butters' 'sixth sense' in action. He predicted our friends Heidi and Craig getting together, and he predicted my sister and this boy named Filmore getting together."
"Take my word for it, Taylor, you've got yourself a good man," Butters continued, "And by tonight, he'll prove it to you."
"How so?" Taylor asked quizzically.
"I'm not the type of person who spoils surprises," Butters said.
As the adult's conversation wraps up Paul finishes his song. The lounge patrons loved his performance so much that they want an encore.
"Oh, you want more, eh?" Paul asked, "Okay then. How about something more modern? Let me get Breakbot's 'Baby I'm Yours'."
As if on cue, Paul's requested song came on. It was at this moment when Butters and Millie noticed that Carrie was missing.
"Where did Carrie go?" Millie asked worriedly.
"Uh, babe, look," Butters said as he pointed towards Carrie, who was sneaking up to the stereo system while Paul sang.
"I thought I had it all together," Paul sang, "But I was lead astray the day you walked away. You were the clock that was ticking in my heart. Changed my state of mind. Love's so hard to find."
As soon as the bass dropped, out of revenge for jinxing her earlier, Carrie turned the volume up to the highest level, scaring Paul.
"AAAHHHH! EARRAPE!" Paul screamed as he dropped the microphone, covered his ears, and curled up in the fetal position on the floor.
"Oh no!" Butters exclaimed.
"Sweetie?" Millie said as she ran up to get her son.
As this was going on, Carrie just smugly watched on and said, "That's what you get for jinxing me, big brother."
Back with The Powers Family and Boseman, they are now inside a Saint Laurent clothing store. The family of three are waiting outside a changing room where Boseman is trying on some suits to wear for when he proposes to Taylor.
"I think I finally found the right suit to wear" Boseman said inside the changing room.
"Well don't leave us in suspense," Justin said, "Come on out and show us!"
Boseman emerged from the changing room wearing an all while suit.
"Looking good, Mr. Boseman," Sid said, "You may be the Black Panther, but you pull of white even better."
"I sure hope Taylor likes this," Boseman said as he looked at himself in the mirror, "I'd be lying if I said I wasn't nervous."
"Oh, I know that feeling," Justin chuckled, "Words cannot describe how frayed my nerves became when I thought about popping the question to Bridgette. Hell, on the day of my proposal I thought I was going to throw up. Anyway, don't worry about it, I'm sure you'll do fine."
"I just don't want Taylor to feel pressured into saying yes, you know due to the cancer and all." Boseman said.
"How long have you and Taylor been together?" Bridgette asked.
"About five years now," Boseman answered.
"So she shouldn't feel pressured," Bridgette said, "Five years is plenty of time for the stew that is love and affection to simmer."
"I guess," Boseman said, "But what if she says no? I mean, in a few months I'll be dead, and she'll be left alone. What if she says no to avoid a much bigger heartbreak. What if she thinks this proposal and subsequent marriage is a waste of time and money."
"Mr. Boseman, if there's one thing love isn't it's a waste of time," Sid said.
"That's right," Bridgette said, "And there's going to be heartbreak either way. I personally think Taylor's heart will be more broken if you don't propose to her."
"She'll be left wondering what a married life with you could've been instead of at least experiencing it for a few months." Justin chimed in, "That's why we believe she won't say no."
"Go get her, bro, we believe in you!" Sid said with a fist raised in the air.
Hearing the Powers family's words of support and encouragement made any iota of doubt and negative emotion wither away from Boseman's mind. He was going to propose to Taylor just to obtain peace of mind and see if his life will end on a high note. Even if Taylor did say no, at least he could say that he tried instead of keeping silent and having loads of 'what if' scenarios play out in his mind in his final days.
"Thank you, all, really," Boseman said with a warm smile.
The day progressed with Boseman making final preparations as we cut to nightfall when Taylor and the Stotches and awaiting Boseman and the Powers' arrival. As Butters was setting up the bonfire and Millie and Taylor got marshmallows, chocolate, and graham crackers ready for smores Paul was glaring at Carrie for her actions earlier that day.
"You feel proud of yourself for embarrassing me in front of all those people, sis?" Paul said. Paul awaited a response, but Carrie said nothing, "Well?"
"You jinxed me remember?" Carrie said, "I ain't talking to you."
"Uh, you just did genius," Paul said in a snarky tone, "So do you have anything resembling an apology that you'd like to share with me? Anything at all?"
Still Carrie said nothing, causing Paul to let out an angry grow.
"You are so lucky mom and dad are right here within earshot," Paul said as Carrie continued to ignore him, "Because there are so many things that I want to say to you right now, but I know I'd be getting punished for it!"
As the adults finally got the bonfire set up, Butters looked to find that Boseman and the Powers family were approaching the site.
"Here they come everyone!" Butters shouted.
Seeing her boyfriend, Taylor wasted no time in running up to Boseman to give him a hug.
"Taylor, my love!" Boseman said.
"Hey, baby," Taylor said gleefully, "I missed you. And, oh, my man is looking all kinds of sexy in this all white suit. What's the occasion?"
"You see, sweetie," Boseman said, his heart beginning to pound out of his chest, "There's something I've been meaning to ask you for a long time now, but I never really found the right words. However, with the help of the Powers and Stotch families, I think I've finally found them."
"Okay," Taylor said as Boseman turned to Sid.
"Sid, hit it!" Boseman said with a nod causing the Powers child to take out his guitar and begin playing Christina Perri's 'A Thousand Years.'
"Taylor, five years ago I had one of the best days of my life, and that was the day I met you," Boseman began, "Ever since then we've grown closer, shared all kinds of love, and shared a multitude of moments, both good and bad. At the time I thought I had all of the time in the world to spend with you, but due to unforeseen circumstances that doesn't look like a possibility. When I decided to take myself off of treatments for my cancer that was when I realized that it was now or never. Doctors told me I had to get my affairs in order, and I did, all except for one important matter of business. And with that, I must ask."
With that, Boseman got on one knee and took out the wedding ring. The Stotch and Powers Families watched on with joyful excitement as Butters and Millie and Justin and Bridgette took each other by the hand, tears welling in their eyes.
"Taylor Simone Ledward," Boseman said, "Will you marry me?"
Taylor looked at the ring. Her hands were cupped over her mouth and joyful tears began pouring from her eyes.
"Oh my God!" Taylor said, overwhelmed with excitement, "Yes, yes, yes, a thousand times yes! Chadwick Boseman, you've made me the happiest woman on Earth!"
Boseman slipped the ring on Taylor's finger and she promptly hugged him and unleashed a barrage of kisses on his face, the Powers and Stotch families watching all the while.
"We did a good thing today everybody," Butters said.
"Yeah, we sure did," Millie concurred.
"Not that I'm not touched by all of this, mom, but can we have smores now?" Paul asked feeling hungry.
"Of course, sweetie," Millie said.
"Alright, it's smore time!" Justin said excitedly.
It was mission accomplished for the two families. Boseman successfully proposed to Taylor, and they proved themselves to be wonderful human beings by helping them out. With this love crisis behind them, they can now go back to enjoying their vacation by spending a nice night on the beach roasting marshmallows by the fire.
In memory of Chadwick Boseman (1977-2020)
Rest in Power, my King.
(Cue Don't Think Twice by Hikaru Utada)
(How did I live in a kingdom of thieves? And people who say things they don't really mean?)
(It's a sunny day and Wendy and Stan are dancing together outside and right next to them are Kyle and Bebe, who are also dancing. Suddenly, the sunny skies turn stormy and Wendy is ripped away from Stan, and Kyle is ripped away from Bebe, both couples trying in vein to reach out to one another. Wendy and Kyle go up into the sky, can the ground gives weight for Stan and Bebe to fall down)
(You're only everything I ever dreamed. Ever dreamed of, ever dreamed of)
(As Stan and Bebe fall, they are enveloped by a red colored paint type substance. Behind the paint is a shadowy figure. It smiles evilly. This figure is one of Jacques Brodeur)
(You must be kidding me, did you really think I could say no?)
(Stan's daughter Lyra, and Bebe's son Felix are running through a grassy plain and two balls of light fall from the sky. The light balls reveal themselves as Wendy and Kyle, who hold their hands out to their children)
(I want you for a lifetime. So if you're gonna think twice, baby. I don't wanna know, baby, I don't wanna know)
(Cartman is standing in front of a statue of a heart. He pulls out a gun and shoots it, causing it to break. Shelly then appears and collapses to the ground, heartbroken)
(Everything is just right. But if you're gonna think twice, baby. I don't wanna know, baby, I don't wanna know)
(Sometime later, Cody Oppenheimer finds the broken pieces of the heart and puts them back together)
(I really don't get what everyone else believes. So why do I say things I don't really mean, really mean.)
(Late at night, Lola and Kenny are in bed. But while Lola is sleeping, Kenny is looking up more information about the crystals he heard about in war)
(I'm only crying 'cause I never dreamed. It'd take this long, it'd take this long)
(Kenny thinks about General Rakish with the big purple crystal floating over him. Suddenly, eight more smaller crystals circle around the big purple one: A red one, a blue one, a green one, a gold one, a pink one, an orange one, a white one, and a black one)
(I want you for a lifetime. So if you're gonna think twice, baby. I don't wanna know, baby, I don't wanna know.)
(General Rakish turns into another villain, Carlos Murciélago. The crystals are still floating over him, and the background changes to the grassy plain from before. The main adults and children are watching in horror at the sight before them)
(Everything is just right. But if you're gonna think twice, baby. I don't wanna know, baby, I don't wanna know)
(Carlos summons a demon warship from out of nowhere and easily takes out the adults and younger children, much to the older children's horror)
(Don't think twice, don't think twice. Don't think twice, baby, don't think twice)
(The children are crying and look like they're going to lose hope when an astral projection of Sir Justice appears. The sight of the unknown hero inspires the children to not give up and put the villain down. The children and Sir Justice charge at Carlos and the warship)
(If you want to take it to an even higher level. All you gotta do is say the word, you know I'll follow. If you wanna take it to an even higher level. I don't, I don't bite)
(Outside of the dream, Isabella Broflovski is looking at a picture of Kyle. Behind him Stan places a hand on her shoulder, which Isabella brushes off and walks away)
(If you want to make it happen, nothing's impossible. All you gotta do is say the word, the walls will crumble. If you want to make it happen, nothing's impossible)
(Shelly gets up from her heartbreak and finds Cody holding a hand out to pick her up. Shelly grabs Cody's hand and we cut to the next scene)
(I want you for a lifetime. So if you're gonna think twice, baby. I don't wanna know, baby, I don't wanna know)
(Stan and Jacques are fighting for Bebe's affections)
(Everything is just right. But if you're gonna think twice, baby. I don't wanna know, baby, I don't wanna know)
(Felix and Lyra are in a dark area, the look behind them to find a older, dying boy in a hospital bed. This boy is named Byron. Lyra and Felix try and run to the hospital bed to see him, but once again, the ground gives weight and the two kids fall into darkness)
(Kiss me once, kiss me twice, kiss me three times. Cross the line)
(Stan and Bebe are alone on a hill somewhere admiring the sunset. The two of them look into each other's eyes before making a move to kiss each other)
(Don't think twice, don't think twice. Don't think twice, baby, don't think twice)
(Cut to night time on that same hill where the Marshes, Broflovskis, Donovans, Tweaks, Tuckers, Cartmans, Stotches, McCormicks, and Oppenheimers are looking up at a full moon. Some of the kids are asleep, but those who are awake are enjoying the company and the beauty of the night sky)