"Oh, Miss Delvecchio, where are my manners? Your boyfriend here has decided to have a five-some here in the middle of the living room. I've gotten Miley Cyrus, Selena Gomez, Demi Lovato, and Bridgit Mendler. We decided to watch all their old shows from Disney Channel and make fun of how stupid they were, then have sex. I must say, Disney Channel has some of the best sluts."

"Aww, geez."

I'm still amazed I was able to listen in the whole thing, but I was able to, clear as day. I even heard Angela shriek in the middle of the living room.

"What the-?" asked Jorge.

"Georgie, there is a shit on the floor!" said Angela.

"Or is the floor...on the shit?" asked Jorge. "Look, I can explain. We were playing Truth or Dare, and well, Miley here is pretty ballsy. Seriously though, I'm not picking that thing up. You know me enough to know I can't be paid to do such a thing."

"Yeah, thanks a lot, Georgie," scuffed Angela in disgust.

It was at that point that Angela decided to drag him over. I didn't see, but I could hear it. Boy, could I hear the torture she was putting him through, loud and clear.

"Jorge, we need to talk."

"Is this about me sleeping around?"

"What the hell do you think?," she replied. "Seriously though, I'm basically Tiger Woods' wife here!"

"I must say, Miss Delvecchio, you're awfully cute when you're angry," he told her.

Cue her giving her a look showing him that no, she was not interested in putting up with his shit at this very moment. Not one bit.

"Look, sweetheart, I'm a changed man," he said. "We can make this work?"

"No, no we can't," she said.

"We can't?" he asked, honestly really surprised about her little comment.

"Georgie, come on. You've slept with one chick for every year of your life, and you told everyone about it. You're just like Billy the Kid when it comes to fucking around like this."

"Angela, I can reassure you that-" he was about to speak, when Angela had cut him off.

"Georgie, you ever hear the story of Lorena Bobbitt?"

"Who?"

"Well, back in the 90s, there was a guy who cheated on his wife, so she reached around and cut his thing off when he slept. Before you know it, the police will be looking for it."

"What?"

"It, Georgie, It."

It was at that point I was about to leave. I had heard everything.

Well, I was about to, anyways. All the girls Jorge had slept with, up and including the Disney Channel stars that he had just banged, were all there. And boy, were they pissed about Jorge being a manwhore.

"Well, hello there, ladies," said Jorge very awkwardly. "Wonderful to see you!"

Suddenly, swarms of them came up to him, furiously. They looked as though they were all ready to, well, Lorena Bobbit his ass.

But no one was quite possibly as pissed, except maybe Angela, as Maria Luna. I must admit, I was pretty excited to see her, but expected her to look like Ariana Grande, you know, with her perky girly style and all. As it appeared, though, she had calmed down with her pink style and looked like a typical suburban Mexican woman.

"Jorge, I am NOT happy about what happened," said Mara. "Your wife told me what happened here, and I'm all set to-"

"Um, Maria dear," he said very awkwardly.

Suddenly, Stephanie of all people appeared out of nowhere.

"Hey, Georgie, I heard what happened," said Stephanie. "And to think, I became bisexual for this!"

"But I thought you-" said Jorge, before he was abruptedly interrupted by her.

"Yeah, yeah, that's before you were literally screwing around-"

"But weren't you-"

"You heard me," she told him. "So what do you say, girls? Let's get at him!"

Suddenly, all the girls rushed to attack Jorge, up to and including the Disney Channel starlets, letting out a huge Amazonian battle cry. Frankly, I'm amazed he made it out with his dick still intact, but when it was finished, I saw him with a look of terror on his face, pretty stressed and dishelved. And when someone like Jorge gets dishelved like that, you KNOW shit got real here.

And it was then that I had FINALLY left. I had finally seen everything by then.

After I had left the scene, I then realized that I couldn't help Jorge with his infedelity issues. Frankly, this was something he had to do by himself, and in the meantime, I had my own issues I had to figure out.

When I had gotten home, I decided to dial the phone and talk with him.

"On second thought, Jorge, we need to talk," I told him.

"Yes?" he said.

"To be honest, you probably should take care of your sex life issues without me. I'll only slow you down."

"Really?"

"Yeah. I already have, remember?"

"Jenny, you didn't slow me down, I would've confessed anyway, because Angela and I are getting married and we feel as though we have to confess these things.

"Oh, okay," I said. "But anyways, I have some issues I have to work out myself, anyway."

"Oh," he said. "What kind of problems, if I may ask?"

"I don't like to talk about them."

"Oh," he said, hanging up on me.

I decided to apathetically hang up the phone. There wasn't much I could do here.

As for problems I don't like to talk about, the next day at school, I tried to use Dad's method of faking sick shortly before the Girl's Group I was part of met. I really, truly felt as though it could work.

So much for that.

I tried faking a bad cold, but due to my lackluster acting skills, they didn't buy it. Not one bit.

"*cough* *cough* Look, I'm sorry, I can't join you guys for Girl's Group today. I've got a really bad incurable case of *hack* *hack* death, and I don't want anyone around me getting sick like I *cough* *cough* am."

Unfortunately, the people at school saw through my disguise.

"Jenny, you can't avoid the class like that, come on!" said my bitchy homeroom teacher.

"Now Jennifer, it's very important that you attend this class," said her equally condescending assistant. "It's crucial to your grade, after all."

"Well, actually, I have my period, so I have monster cramps," I said. "Oh god, I think another one is coming right about now!" I said, clutching my stomach in fake pain.

"Sure you do," said the teacher. "Besides, having a period alone shouldn't take you out of class."

"It will if my cramps are bad enough," I scuffed in disgust.

"Seriously, attending this class is very important, and you just can't fake sick to avoid class like this."

"Thanks a lot!" I scuffed in disgust. The universe was really against me at this point.

It was at that point that I caved in and went to Girl's Group, which was pure hell for me.

"Jenny doesn't understand the value of taking responsibility for her own actions," said one girl. "If she's going to be annoying and butting into everyone's conversations like this, then we'll have no choice but to react this way."

"Excuse me?" I scuffed. "What actions? They're the ones who chose to be mean to me around here!" I said in disgust.

The guidance counselor not only did absolutely nothing to stop them, she actually (get this) took their side. It was pretty nerve-wrecking.

"Jenny, you should probably take their advice," she told me. "You probably shouldn't be acting that way anyway. Just ignore them."

"Are you kidding me?" I retorted, then shoved one of the girls out of the way.

"Jennifer!" she snapped. "That's no way to treat another student!"

I didn't bother listening to her. I was too upset about what happened.

Later that afternoon, I slumped home. I was too sad to do anything.

How could anyone expect me to live in a world where everyone treated me like dirt, let alone thrive?

"Miss Rose, are you alright?" asked Simon. It was clear he was really concerned about my well-being, which was more than you could say for most people who knew me well.

"No, I'm not," I told Simon. "Remember the incident on Martin Luther King Day? Well, that girl was the least of my problems. I've been having issues with other girls involved."

"Oh," he said.

"And if the school board actually tried to help me, or at least cared about what I was going through, that would be one thing. But they're not even trying here!" I exclaimed.

"Sorry to hear that, darling," he told me. "Maybe a little song will cheer you up."

He sat down at the big electronic piano, and started playing "Hey Jude," but changed all the "Judes," to "Jens."

"Hey Jen, don't make it bad,

Take a sad song, and make it better,

Remember, to let him into your heart,

Then you can start to make it better."

"I guess I feel a little bit better," I shrugged. To be honest, it didn't do much good, but since I liked Simon, I wanted to be nice to him.

Then suddenly, Jorge came to my house, out of the blue. Yes, really.

"Hey, Jen!" he said. "What's the 411?"

"My life sucks," I said. "School is pure hell."

"Is this about the Martin Luther King Day incident?" Jorge shrugged.

"Yep," I said. "How'd you know?"

"I heard you on the phone. You were pretty upset. High school can be a real bitch. I should know- I was there in the late 2000s. They didn't care for me because I was too white and nerdy, frankly."

"I see."

"He's not "white," he's clearly Filipino!" blurted out Matthew, barging into our conversation.

"Matthew!" snapped Jorge.

"Sorry," he said. "My apologies, Jennifer, he's acting up again."

"It's okay," I said. "What did you want to call me about, anyways?"

"Well, next week is my high school reunion dance, but as it turns out, nobody is willing to go out with me. After they heard my story, they decided they just couldn't be with a guy who was that unfaithful."

"Didn't you go to your reunion, anyway?"

"Yeah, that was at another school," he said. "Anyways, I don't have a date, because I've slept with every woman whose eligible to be my date here. And likke I said Miss Rose, that chalks up to pretty much every woman I know under 30. And, in the case of Sunny Day, over 40, but I like older woman, so who cares about that. There is, however, another woman whom I can take to the dance. One who won't judge me for my own shortcomings here."

"Who is she?" I asked, curious as to who the hell he was referring to.

"Who do you think I'm referring to, Miss Jennifer Rose?" he declared, obviously referring to me, sticking up his giner at me as he smiled at me sheepishly, showing that, yeah, he really did want to go out with me.

"Wait- you want to go out with me? Little old me?" I said, flattered.

"Absolutely," he said. "You've been one of the first women who saw me for me, and didn't get upset when I did stupid things, and believe me, I did a lot of stupid things."

"Aww, thanks, Jorge," I said.

"I mean, it's not like I have any other choices anyway, but I'd still like to go out with you," he continued.

"Look, Jorge, I don't care," I said. "I've always seen you as my childhood boyfriend, dancing with me in the ballroom the way Belle did with the Beast."

"Umm….okay?" said Jorge. Except in my stories where he transformed into some kind of animal, I didn't really see Jorge as any kind of beast. "Anyways, you might want to get ready, because the dance starts in a little while."

"Well, okay then!" I said. I rushed upstairs to put on my nice little black dress and complementary makeup. I reached into my copy of Seventeen to see what I should wear clothes and makeup-wise.

I could see that Jorge was getting pretty impatient for me, so I rushed downstairs to see him.

"I promise Jennifer, this won't be a screwy date this time," he told me, taking me to the big limo he had rented. I really did feel like a Disney Princess then.

And of course, his butler was there to chauffeur us around.

"Now, Jennifer, this boarding school is pretty fancy, so I'd like you to be on your best behavior, he said.

"And Matthew," he said. "Don't do anything stupid."

"Well, okay then!" he replied.

The dance was a total blast! Jorge escorted me in beautifully, being so gallant and everything. I gotta hand it to Dad- he really did show me how a man should treat a lady that day when we saw The Social Network. Thanks, Dad!

The person supervising the dance was, thankfully, a skinny, wishy-washy guy who merely asked for ID, not a tough-ass bouncer who might pull us away.

"And I suppose this young lady is your date?" he asked.

"Yeah, sure," said Jorge.

"I see," he said. "Okay, you can go."

And of course, they were blaring "Ignition" by R Kelly. And here's where I really fucked up: "Isn't he the guy who got busted for peeing on a girl?"

Jorge gave me a look of disgust, then said "Really, Jennifer?"

"Sorry!" I said, clearly embarrassed.

Needless to say, I had plenty of fun there. It was amazing! Jorge danced with me beautifully (did I mention he was a fantastic dancer?), did the "angel pose" with me like in Dirty Dancing, and didn't even care that I had a rather modest dress while the other girls there had more glamorous formals. He even bribed some of the guys at the party to dance with me!

"Oh, it was nothing," he shrugged. "Only a few hundred dollars, that's all!"

But the best part of the dance didn't come until the very end. Jorge decided to perform a tribute for me.

"There's a very special girl in my life. She's not my girlfriend...or anyone I slept with for that matter."

Everyone stared at Jorge.

"But anyways, she's still one of the most amazing women in my life," he said. "Let's give it up for Miss Jennifer Rose!"

Suddenly, everyone started applauding for me. I honestly couldn't believe what was happening.

"So anyways, Jennifer here is having some difficulties at school. Girls can be mean. Teachers can be useless bums- no offense." he said to the teacher next to him.

"And recently, I myself have been having issues with my own life. You see, I've been...sleeping with a lot of women...and...let's just say my wife didn't like that. In fact, she threatened to Lorena Bobbitt my ass. Or I should I say, my...never mind."

Everyone then stared at him.

"And, as it turned out, she realized it on the exact same day as the reunion dance here. Needless to say, none of them were interested in taking me out that evening. Except one girl…."

Suddenly, a giant spotlight shone on me. I knew he was going to treat me this time, as in, really treat me. Thanks, Jorge!

The light shone back onto Jorge as he continued with his spiel.

"Anyways, my friend here was the only one who stuck out for me under all conditions. And for that, I'd like to perform a special song for her. Achmed, play it!"

Suddenly, Achmed came out with his guitar, strumming on it like he owned the thing!

Then he performed the song "Absolutely (Story of a Girl)" for me. It was fucking amazing.

"This is the story of a girl, Who cried a river and drowned the whole world,And while she looks so sad in photographs, I absolutely love her, When she smiles.. When she smiles!"

Seriously though, that kid rocked out like there was no tomorrow throughout the whole song.

"Achmed...guitar!" he declared to Achmed Khan, who had come up onstage to play his guitarfor the song, and pulled off a really gnarly riff there- he really killed it.