AN: I'd just like to take this moment to say a HUGE thank you to the lovely people who've commented, faved and watched this story (You know who you are!). It has been a VERY long time since I wrote any fanfiction (In fact it's been years since I was even part of a fandom) and I was fully prepared to be ignored since my writing skills have quite literally gone down the drain, but seeing the reviews and faves I guess I'm the not the worst writer after all. Anywho, it's VERY much appreciated and I hope you guys continue to enjoy!
AN: Warning for possible spoilers!
-SPN-
The silence that followed Starina's statement was deafening and for a long moment no one said anything until Dean looked at the words on the stone and back at Starina in disbelief.
"But how the hell did he-?"
"He sent her to kill you and Sam," Starina cut him off, still pale with shock. "It stands to reason that he'd notice her absence and realise she'd been caught."
"So the bastard sends us a message by throwin' a rock through the window?" Dean asked incredulously.
"Dean, the Wraith's over a thousand years old, it's not like he knows how to use e-mail or a cell phone," Sam pointed out.
"What else did the message say?" Donovan asked Starina, gently tilting her chin up so she was looking him in the eyes. "There's more, isn't there?"
"Yes, it says...it says he wants Lucrecia back," Starina replied, squeezing his hand. "He's demanding that we take Lucrecia back to him or he... he'll start killing the townspeople until we do. And if anyone else tries to interfere he'll destroy the town. We have until sundown. Today."
Sam blanched. "Wait, what? Today?"
"CRAP!" Dean yelled, throwing the stone angrily into the fireplace. "That sonovabitch!"
"But why? Why today?" Donovan looked lost and confused.
"He's forcing my hand," Starina said darkly, rubbing her temple. "He doesn't wanna wait for me to choose when we fight, so he's forcing me into a confrontation by threatening to kill people if we don't return his servant. He may be insane but he's not stupid, I'll give him that."
"That bastard," Dean muttered, running his hands over his hair and pacing the living room.
"So what're we supposed to do?" asked Donovan angrily. "Starina, we can't let you go out there and fight in your condition. I forbid it!"
"What about all those people?" Sam countered. "We're not gonna just sit back and let him kill them, we've gotta come up with a plan."
"And just what're we supposed to do Sammy?" Dean asked, coming to a stop in front of his brother. "Bundle Lucrecia up in a box and send her to him by overnight express? We don't have that much time!"
Starina clutched at her head and winced in pain. "Guys, please," she pleaded, effectively silencing them. "Please, you've gotta calm down, all of you. Your emotions are running too high!"
Donovan quickly scooped her up and carried her over to the couch where he lay her down and tenderly caressed her cheek. "I'm so sorry my love, what can we do?"
"Just... calm down, please," Starina muttered, wincing again as she turned on her side. "All this confusion and anger... it's too much."
"Calm down? How the Hell are we supposed to calm down when-"
Dean immediately shut his mouth as Starina whimpered and grasped at her head again, writhing in discomfort. Donovan looked up at him and a low warning growl rumbled deep in his chest.
"Dean, stop!" Sam grabbed Dean's arm and yanked him back. "You're stressing her out!"
"Please, don't fight," Starina nearly sobbed at the onslaught of tension that had come from Dean and Sam. "I need... I need everyone to back off for a minute...please."
"Do you want me to take you upstairs?" Donovan asked and Starina shook her head. "Alright, you rest here and I'll clear up this mess," he glanced over at Sam and Dean. "Give her some space," he added with a stern expression as he stood. "We'll sort this out when she's feeling up to it."
"Yeah, alright," Sam agreed. "Lemme help you clean up."
"Thanks," said Donovan appreciatively.
Dean wanted to protest, to demand that they come up with a plan right this second, but hearing Starina whimper again as she sensed his anger he bit back his temper and helped out with the cleanup instead.
With three pairs of hands all helping it only took a few minutes to sweep up all the broken glass and toss it in the trash. Donovan found a sheet of plywood in the toolshed and he and Dean used a power drill to screw it to the window frame to keep out the wind until the glass could be replaced. Whilst they did that Sam went and checked on Starina. She had her eyes closed but he knew she wasn't asleep because she was rubbing small circles on her swollen stomach.
"Hey, how're you holding up?" he asked quietly as he crouched beside her.
"I'm getting there," Starina replied, sounding tired as she opened her eyes slowly. "I... never thought something like this could happen, never even considered it, and now the whole town's in danger. I don't know what we're supposed to do now."
"We'll figure something out," Sam said soothingly. "We have a friend who might be able to help us."
"Bobby?" Starina asked and Sam's eyebrows shot up in surprise. "He's the man who helped raise you and Dean. You were thinking about him just now, but I doubt there's much he can do."
"What makes you say that?" Sam asked.
"The fact that Mages exist has been a closely guarded secret since time immemorial," Starina told him. "For thousands of years we've coexisted with regular humans without ever revealing ourselves for what we are. Everything there is to know about us is kept within the chronicles of every Mage Clan and that knowledge stays with those Clans forever, never to be shared with anyone outside of them."
"So if I asked Bobby to look up some Mage lore he won't find anything?" Sam frowned.
"The chances of him finding any real information are very remote," Starina replied. "Even the Men of Letters know precious little about us. Yes, I know about them, too," she added at Sam's stunned look. "We've been avoiding their prying eyes since they were founded."
"Well there goes that idea," Sam muttered, glancing at the floor. "What about Cas? Would the Wraith find out if we prayed to him?"
"Sam, the message said the town would be destroyed if anyone tried to intervene," Starina reminded him. "If Castiel shows up there's a chance the Wraith will sense him. We can't take that risk, there're far too many lives at stake."
"Good point," Sam sighed. "Guess that means we're on our own."
Starina winced and pinched the bridge of her nose, groaning a little as she slowly sat up and rubbed her belly. "This has gotten way outta hand, I need a drink," she muttered as she went to get up. "Of water," she added, pausing and frowning at Sam's questioning look.
"Oh! Y-yeah, I knew that," said Sam, trying not to look sheepish.
"Sam, I'm an Empath, remember?" Starina deadpanned. "I know when people are telling me porky pies. And by the way, the only alcohol you'll find in this house is the rubbing alcohol in the medicine cabinet."
Then it was Sam's turn to frown as Starina hefted herself up and wandered into the kitchen. "Porky pies?" he thought out loud, perplexed.
"It's British slang for lies," Donovan explained with a chuckle as he passed by him to put the tools away. "She uses it sometimes so if she says something you don't understand just smile and nod," he advised.
"Oh, right," Sam muttered, not getting it at all.
He watched as Dean went with Donovan and, noticing the coffee table still lying on its side, got to his feet and stood it back up on its legs. As he picked up Starina's notebooks he saw that the Blessed Blade had fallen out of its cloth wrappings and was resting on the wooden floor. After stacking the notebooks he picked up the Blade and the cloths, intending to wrap the Blade up again but as he picked up the cloths a very old looking piece of paper fluttered out. Frowning, he set the cloths and the Blade down and picked up the paper, immediately seeing something written on it in beautiful, curly calligraphy. It was, he suspected, written in Gaelic because he couldn't read it but at the bottom of the piece of paper it was elegantly signed, 'Duncan Rose'.
"Hey Starina? Can you can come back here a sec?"
He heard the sound of a glass being put down on the countertop and Starina came back from the kitchen, a look of concern on her features. "What is it, Sam?"
"Who's Duncan Rose?" Sam asked.
Starina sent him a puzzled look. "He was my great grandfather, the last to encounter the Wraith before me. But how do you know that name? I never told you what his name was."
Sam held up the piece of paper and handed it to her. "This fell outta those rags you had the Blade wrapped up in," he explained as she took it. "The name's signed at the bottom."
Starina looked closely at the paper and her eyes widened in recognition. "This is my great grandfather's handwriting. I remember it from some letters Dad showed me when I was doing an assignment in high school. But how...why...?" she trailed off, confused.
Just then Donovan and Dean returned from the toolshed, Donovan saying something about patrolling the fence again as they came into the room. When Starina looked up with a stunned and confused expression on her face Donovan fell silent and he and Dean knew immediately that something was up.
"What's goin' on here?" Dean asked, glancing between Starina and his brother. "Guys?"
"Sam found something," Starina answered, showing them the piece of paper. "It's a note from my great grandfather."
"Your great grandfather?" Donovan asked, frowning. "But where-?"
"It was in the rags wrapped around the Blessed Blade," Sam explained.
"Well, what's it say?" Dean asked impatiently.
Starina read over the note a few times while she translated it before reading aloud:
"Take the hand of he who bears the Angel's Touch
And together invoke the Mage's Embrace
Let the dual powers become one within the Blade
And strike true the heart of the one Corrupted
To purify his soul and set him free..."
When she'd finished reading everyone was silent for a few moments while they all tried to process what the note said. Starina's brow creased and she chewed her thumbnail as she tried to make sense of what the message was supposed to mean.
"Set him free?" Donovan asked after a few seconds of confused silence. "Set who free?"
"That doesn't mean the Wraith, right?" Dean asked edgily.
"It must do," Starina murmured, her brow creasing. "This message was hidden with the Blessed Blade, a weapon created specifically for the purpose of destroying him. But what...? Wait a minute..." her eyebrows shot up.
"What?" Sam moved to look over her shoulder at the note even though he couldn't read it. "Did you figure out what it means?"
"These last two sentences," Starina traced her fingers over the long-dried ink. "Strike true the Corrupted Heart to purify his soul and set him free," she recited. "Lucrecia corrupted Dubhshláine when she lied to him about Rhiannon's betrayal and tricked him into accepting her offer. The moment he agreed he became her prisoner and sentenced himself to an eternity trapped in his own turmoil. That much I can understand because I sensed it when her Shield Knot was broken."
"Alright, alright, but what about the first part?" Dean wanted to know. "What's that all about?"
Starina looked at the note again. "Take the hand of he who bears the Angel's Touch..."
"That's gotta mean you, Dean!" Sam cut her off suddenly.
"Huh?" Dean looked at him blankly.
"Dean, he's right," Starina agreed. "You contain the presence of Castiel within you. That's the Angel's Touch!" she looked down at the note once more. "Together invoke the Mage's Embrace... let the dual powers become one within the Blade..." she trailed off.
"What's the Mage's Embrace?" Donovan asked.
Instead of answering Starina went over and sank down on the couch, still staring at the piece of paper while her other hand covered her mouth.
"Starina? What's wrong?" Donovan's brow creased with concern.
"I didn't think it even existed," Starina murmured. "The Mage's Embrace," she said as she glanced up again. "It's an ancient ritual said to have been created by the First Archmage thousands of years ago. Pops told me about it when I was a kid but Dad always said it was just a legend."
"What kind of ritual is it?" Sam asked, his interest piqued.
"If memory serves me correctly it involves two Mages uniting their power," Starina answered. "Two Mages join hands to create a channel through which their powers flow and combine to perform very powerful magic. That's why it's called the Mage's Embrace," she looked down at the note once again. "Let the dual powers become one within the Blade. I think I'm beginning to understand what Duncan's trying to tell us."
"What? Don't keep us in suspense," Dean said impatiently.
Starina took a breath. "To defeat the Wraith, you and I have to invoke the Mage's Embrace and let the power of the Angel's Touch combine with my magic within the Blessed Blade. When the ritual's complete the Blade has to pierce Dubhshláine's heart to purge the evil from his soul and release him from his enslavement and rage."
Dean immediately took a step back. "Me?! Whoa whoa whoa Starina, that's not gonna work! I'm not a Mage!"
"He's gotta point there, Starina," Sam chimed in.
"I don't think it matters," Starina told him. "Duncan clearly had a reason for leaving this message. He must've known something no one else did," she stood up from the couch and headed into the kitchen. "I've gotta make a call," she said as she grabbed her phone off the kitchen counter and started scrolling through her contacts.
"Who're you calling?" Donovan frowned.
"Possibly the only person in the world who can tell us what we're dealing with," Starina replied, still looking at her phone. "The Lady Dianne."
"Who the Hell's that?" Dean asked.
"She's the Keeper of Rose Clan's chronicles," Starina explained. "And she's Duncan's younger sister. If it's anyone who can validate this message it's her," she placed the phone to her ear and waited anxiously. "If it's genuine she'll know what to do. Okay it's ringing... Kristy! Hey, how're you?"
"Starina? Is that you?" a woman's voice replied loud enough for the others to hear.
Starina smiled widely. "Yeah Kris, it's me."
"Oh Starina! Honey, we've missed you so much!" Kristy gushed on the other end. "We were so worried when your mother told us you'd left. What's going on? Are you alright? Where are you?"
"I'm afraid this isn't a social call Kristy," Starina said regretfully. "I need to speak with Lady Dianne immediately. Is she able to talk? It's urgent."
"You called at the right time, she just got up from her nap," Kristy replied, then addressed someone who could be heard saying something in the background. "Gran, it's Starina. She needs to talk to you, says it's urgent. What? Alright, I'll tell her," there was a sigh and Kristy said, "Gran says she wants to talk to you face to face. Have you got Skype?"
"Yes, I have Skype," Starina nodded despite the fact that Kristy couldn't see her. "I can set it up right now."
"Great, we'll be waiting on our end," said Kristy. "Oh, and Gran says she wants to talk to you privately," she added.
Starina frowned and glanced at the others who were just as perplexed as she was. "Yeah okay, I can do that," she said after a moment's hesitation. "I'll get set up and send a call through."
"Right, talk to you in a minute!" Kristy replied.
"Okay, bye," Starina said as she hung up, looking unnerved. "I take it you guys heard all that?"
"Who's Kristy?" Dean asked with a smirk. "She sounds hot."
Starina frowned at him, all too aware of what he was implicating. "She's my cousin," she deadpanned. "Lady Dianne's granddaughter. And just so you know, she's married and has five kids."
Sam snorted and Donovan chuckled as Dean's smirk dropped like a stone and his cheeks flushed.
"There's no time to talk about my extended family anyway," Starina said sternly. "I've gotta make this Skype call and ask Lady Dianne about this letter. She wants to talk in private so you guys will haveta wait out here while I use the computer in the study. You'd better find something to do because this could take a while."
"What?" Dean frowned. "How long can it take to talk to an old lady?"
Starina eyed him sharply. "Lady Dianne is nearing her 102nd birthday, Dean," she said curtly. "She's very frail and tires easily so I have to take my time with her otherwise she'll become too exhausted and we'll have to cut the meeting short. I'm sure you'll agree that we need her help right now and she can't help us if I run her into the ground bombarding her with too many questions at once. Now if you'll excuse me..."
And she turned and went into the study, shutting the door behind her with a snap.
-SPN-
Nearly an hour later found Dean playing Candy Crush on his phone, Sam trying to solve a crossword puzzle in a newspaper he'd found, and Donovan nervously pacing the living room floor. He'd been especially edgy since the stone with the Wraith's message on it had come crashing through the window and he kept glancing out the remaining front window like he was expecting it to shatter at any moment.
"Hey Donovan, you doin' okay there?" Sam asked after a while as he looked up from the completed crossword.
Donovan sighed and paused for a moment before he answered. "Honestly? I'm not," he admitted. "If Starina does what the Wraith demands and he forces her into a fight, I could lose her and our babies. I've already lost one family; just the thought of losing another... it's unbearable."
"C'mon man, don't talk like that," Dean exited the game and put his phone down. "Nothing's gonna happen to them, okay? Sammy and I won't let it."
"Don't call me that," Sam muttered in annoyance.
"How can you be so sure?" Donovan asked with a pained expression on his features. "Have you ever dealt with something like this before?"
"Dude, we stopped the Apocalypse a few years ago," Dean said matter-of-factly but without boasting. "We've taken on Archangels and Pagan Gods and kicked their asses. Gettin' rid of the Wraith will be a salt-and-burn job compared to that."
Donovan sighed again. "I wish I had your confidence."
"It'll be okay," Sam promised. "Starina's in there right now with Lady Dianne finding out if she's right about that letter. And if it's a dead end, we still won't let Starina face the Wraith alone. We'll do everything we can to help."
The dragon glanced at Dean who nodded in agreement. "I trust you, both of you," he said sincerely. "I just hope that we're enough to help Starina through this."
At that moment the door to the study opened and Starina emerged, shoulders tensed and her expression determined. Donovan's brow creased in concern. "Starina? What's wrong?" he asked nervously. "What did Lady Dianne say?"
There was a hardened glint in her eye when she glanced up. "I know what we have to do now," she answered quietly. "But there're some things that need to be explained first."
"Like what?" Dean asked.
Starina sat down at the table and laid the aged piece of paper on its surface. "I'll cut to the chase; Duncan Rose had the gift of Foresight. He saw glimpses of the future."
"He what?" Donovan gasped as Dean and Sam's mouths fell open in disbelief.
"It was his True Gift," Starina explained. "The reason it wasn't written into the chronicles was because he was afraid and ashamed of it. Lady Dianne was the only person he told about it."
Sam recovered first. "Okay, but what does that have to do with the note?"
"It was a vision," Starina went on. "The only one he made any record of and the last he had before he died. The vision made Duncan realise that the Wraith was too powerful for a Mage's power alone to defeat him, which was why he failed to defeat the Wraith himself. The vision showed him the Mage's Embrace had to be invoked by a Mage and a man bearing the Angel's Touch so that the two powers could be united within the Blade. Lady Dianne said he wrote this message and hid it with the Blade knowing that it'd be found when the time was right."
"Well, I'd say now's the right time," Dean said dryly.
"So your theory was right after all," Sam stated and Starina nodded. "Will the ritual still work even if Dean's not a Mage?"
"If Lady Dianne's to be believed, yes," she answered. "It would seem that bearing the Angel's Touch is an exception to the rule of two Mages being needed to invoke the Embrace. Once the ritual's complete I have to pierce the Wraith's heart with the Blade as Rhiannon once did."
"So lemme get this straight," Dean started slowly. "The Angel's Touch and your magic have to be mixed up inside the Blade, then you've gotta stab the Wraith through the heart and that'll be enough to kill him?"
"To put it simply, yes," Starina nodded. "And when we burn Dubhshláine's hair he'll never be able to return to this world again."
"Great! Then let's do it!" Dean said enthusiastically as he went to stand.
"Dean, wait," Starina gently grasped his wrist to stop him. "There's a catch."
Dean facepalmed. "There's always a damned catch!" he muttered, slumping back in the chair.
"What's the catch?" Donovan asked, dreading the answer.
"The Mage's Embrace has only been performed a handful of times since its creation," Starina explained. "Lady Dianne said combining the energies of two Mages is extremely dangerous because the magic it creates is very unstable. Even though Dean isn't a Mage like me, the Angel's Touch is still a form of immense power. If we're both not in complete control the results could be catastrophic."
"Catastrophic how?" Dean asked hesitantly.
Starina turned to him with a very serious expression on her face. "If either you or I lose control our energies will clash instead of unite and everything within a thousand miles could be reduced to rubble."
Sam paled at those words. "Oh my God..."
"Exactly," Starina agreed.
"Okay, so how do we stop it from goin' wrong?" Dean asked. "What've we gotta do?"
"Wait a minute, what about the babies?" Donovan butted in, a hint of anger creeping into his tone. "How badly will this ritual affect them?"
Starina's hand went to her swollen abdomen. "They'll be alright," she said quietly. "I asked Lady Dianne the same question. I had to, Donovan," she added at the dragon's horrified look. "She said to add to the design of the Shield Knot and they'll still be protected no matter the outcome. She's promised that she won't tell anyone about them but insists that the family be informed when they're born."
"So what've we gotta do for the ritual?" asked Dean impatiently, not wanting to waste anymore time. "I mean, what've I gotta do?"
Starina took a breath and turned in her chair so that she was facing him. "I'm not going to lie to you Dean, this ritual isn't going to be easy for either of us," she told him warningly. "And I don't mean just in the physical sense."
"Just tell me what I've gotta do," Dean insisted.
"Lady Dianne instructed me on how to invoke the Embrace," Starina started. "The two of us have to join our left hands like this," she gently took Dean's left hand in her own like a bro handshake. "So that we're holding the hilt of the Blade at the same time so that my magic and the Angel's Touch can flow through the channel of our joined hands and into the Blade itself."
"Doesn't sound so hard," Dean huffed a slight laugh and shrugged.
"That's just one part of it, Dean," Starina said, her tone deadly serious as she released his hand. "If we're to invoke the Embrace without blowing up a third of Texas we both have to be in total control of how much power we release. One lapse in focus and we'll be burying people instead of saving them."
"But how the hell am I even supposed to control this Angel Touch thing?" Dean threw his hands up in exasperation. "I didn't even know I had it until two days ago!"
"Dean, calm down," Sam interjected.
"Don't panic, I can help you with that," Starina assured. "Lady Dianne said using the Angel's Touch won't be much different than using magic. The methods are basically the same so I can teach you how to connect with it and control it. But before we do anything Dean, I must warn you that getting angry and frustrated will only make things harder and we don't have a lot of time. You have to have patience above all else. Can you do that?"
Dean took a moment to consider this as Sam watched anxiously. Patience had never been a strong point of Dean's and it wasn't exactly a secret that he had issues with controlling his anger, but it was nearing noon and there was no chance of finding another way to defeat the Wraith before their sunset deadline. And there was no way in Hell that he was going to let Starina go up against the Wraith by herself, pregnant or not. Oh no, the Wraith had had his run, it was time to get rid of him for keeps.
"Okay, let's do it," Dean said at last, making Sam let out a breath he didn't know he'd been holding.
"Alright then," Starina said decisively. "I'll teach you how to use the Angel's Touch. Have you eaten?"
Dean nodded in response. He and Sam had helped themselves to a few of the muffins Starina had baked for breakfast and coffee while she'd been on Skype with Lady Dianne.
"Good, because this is going to be very taxing," Starina told him as she stood. "Come with me."
-SPN-
Starina took them, of all places, up to the attic on the third floor of the house. Only instead of being dusty and stacked from floor to ceiling with boxes of junk and who knew what else, it was perfectly clean, dust-free and the only source of light came from a single light bulb hanging from the roof. And in the middle of the floor was a huge, elaborate and intricately designed Shield Knot drawn with white paint.
"This is where I practice my spells," Starina explained at Dean's quizzical look. "The Shield Knot is there to keep my magic contained if I lose control. It also prevents other spiritual creatures from sensing my power."
"So the Wraith can't sense it, either?" Sam asked.
"No, with the Shield Knot my power's practically undetectable," Starina replied. "As will the Angel's Touch. I don't want the Wraith to pick up on what we're doing. That's why I've brought you guys up here."
"Okay, so what exactly are we gonna be doin?" Dean asked, crossing his arms.
"You'll be learning how to harness the Angel's Touch," Starina went on. "I'll be teaching you the same way I was taught to control my magic. Now, you're going to stand in the middle of the Shield Knot because connecting with any sort of power for the first time can be... dramatic."
"Oh well, that's reassuring," Dean rolled his eyes.
"You'll be fine, Dean," Starina said confidently. "As Castiel's ward the Angel's Touch won't hurt you. The purpose of you being inside the Shield Knot is to keep you from blowing the roof off if you happen to lose control. That's what this is about, Dean. Controlling the flow of power and maintaining it."
"So how do I do that?" Dean asked.
"Think of it as turning a faucet on and off," Starina told him. "Turn the tap too much and water splashes everywhere. Turn it back too far and the water just drips or stops altogether. But turn the tap to just the right position and the water flows steadily without splashing. Does that make sense?"
Dean mulled this over in his head for a moment before he nodded. "Yeah, I think so."
"Good," Starina smiled and gestured towards the Shield Knot. "Now just step in there and we'll get started."
"Are you sure Dean's not gonna get hurt doing this?" Sam asked Starina quietly as Dean took up his position in middle of the Knot.
"Lady Dianne and I discussed this extensively," she whispered back. "If Dean loses control he won't be harmed, but others could be. That's why she instructed me to teach him with the Shield Knot in place and not somewhere out in the open where someone could get injured accidentally."
"Okay I'm here," Dean called out, interrupting them. "What do I do now?"
"You two stand back," Starina told Sam and Donovan. "Keep absolutely quiet and do nothing unless I tell you. Dean's going need every ounce of concentration for this and can't be distracted."
"Be careful, Starina," Donovan said softly before retreating back against the wall with Sam.
Starina offered him a small, reassuring smile before returning her attention to the elder Winchester. "Alright Dean, first of all you're too tense. You're nervous and you need to relax a bit."
Dean frowned at her. "I'm not tense," he retorted. "And I ain't nervous, either."
"Your shoulders are nearly up to your ears and you look gassy," Starina said bluntly. "You're too tense and you're nervous. Relax."
"I don't look gassy!" Dean protested, highly offended.
"Actually, yeah you do," Sam snickered from the corner, unable to help himself.
"Shut up, Sam!" Dean snapped as Donovan snorted.
"Alright, that's enough," Starina said sternly, sounding like an irritated schoolteacher. "We don't have time to ass around. Dean, if you can't relax yourself this isn't going to work. Would it be easier if Sam and Donovan weren't here?"
Dean glared at them. "They can stay so long as they keep their mouths shut."
"Don't worry, they will," Starina assured him as she sent them a pointed look. "Won't you, boys?"
Her tone of voice made it so clear any further shenanigans wouldn't be tolerated that Sam and Donovan both nodded and promptly silenced themselves.
"Alright then, if we're done playing silly buggers we'll get underway," Starina said, all business now. "Dean, if we're going to get anywhere with this you need to relax. Tension will only make connecting to the Angel's Touch harder than it needs to be. Think of something that makes you feel calm, like the sound of waves crashing on a beach or the wind blowing through the trees. Anything that'll allow you to release the tension."
At the mention of wind blowing Dean immediately thought of the way the wind blew through his hair while he drove the Impala with the windows down. He thought of the familiar smell of the leather upholstery, the flawless shine of the chrome and the perfect, sleek black paint job that he himself had restored with his own hands. The freedom of the endless open road, the warmth of the sun on his face, the purr of the well-oiled engine and the sound of his favourite Led Zeppelin songs blaring through the speakers washed over him like a wave and before he knew it his shoulders had loosened and his fists were no longer clenched.
"Very good Dean, that's much better," Starina praised as she slowly paced back and forth in front of him at the edge of the Knot. "If you were any more relaxed you'd be asleep. Now here's the tricky part, connecting with the Angel's Touch. To do that you have to concentrate. Focus on it, believe in it, trust it, and most of all you must trust yourself. Close your eyes," she instructed.
Dean hesitated for a moment and glanced over at Sam who nodded encouragingly. Taking a breath to calm himself Dean did as he was asked and closed his eyes.
"Alright, now clear your mind, Dean," Starina went on. "Just listen to my voice and block out everything else. Whatever thoughts are in your head, let them float away. Think of nothing else but what you need to do."
Dean paid close attention to her words and did his best to do as she said. He tried to focus on nothing else but the darkness behind his eyelids and ignore the voice in the back of his mind that kept muttering, "This is stupid" and "You're never gonna find the Angel's Touch. You can't do anything right!" Dean gritted his teeth and his fists clenched.
"Focus, Dean," Starina's commanding voice cut through his mind like a hot knife through butter, making him flinch. "Don't let your doubts get the better of you. You're the one in control, not them. They are all that stands between you and the Angel's Touch."
Dean winced and snarled with pain as a familiar loud ringing noise suddenly began to echo in his ears, sounding like it was coming from inside him rather than out. It was just like the first time Castiel tried to communicate with him using his true voice after Dean had dug himself out of the grave he'd been buried in; only this time he didn't have to take cover from showers of shattered glass.
"You hear it, don't you?" Starina's voice rang in his mind over the din. "The Angel's Touch is calling to you, reaching for you. Open your eyes, Dean. Reach for it!"
Still gritting his teeth against the pain in his ears and head Dean opened his eyes and he was no longer standing in Starina's attic. Instead he was floating in what looked like a nebular of swirling colours and lights so bright it made his eyes hurt. One light in particular stood out over all the others. A tiny, bright blue ball of glowing mist that reminded him of Castiel's Grace floated just a few feet away from him. Dean automatically reached out but suddenly jerked his hand back as though he'd been burnt. The ringing noise was getting louder and Dean thought for sure his skull was going to explode.
"I...I can't do it!" he snarled through gritted teeth. "It's too much! Make... make it stop!"
"Yes you can!" Starina shouted back at him. "You're almost there, Dean! You can do this!"
With one last burst of strength Dean thrust his hand out again and this time his fist closed around the tiny ball of blue mist and clenched it tight. Then he felt as though his fist was being pulled back towards him, as though the light he'd just captured was being drawn to him like a magnet.
"That's it, Dean, you've got it!" Starina was almost cheering now. "It's trying to connect to you. Now let go!"
"Are you crazy? I just caught it!" Dean yelled back.
"Dean, let go!" Starina shouted. "Do it now!"
Unable to fight the pull anymore Dean opened his fist and the light shot straight into his solar plexus like a sucker punch to the gut, forcing all the air out of him like a gale-force wind. Then everything went dark and Dean knew nothing more.
End of chapter
AN: Again I offer my apologies for taking so long to update. I'm still having difficulties with health issues, depression and writer's block (amongst other things). Despite all of this I WILL keep updating as often as I possibly can. Once more I thank everyone who's watched, faved and commented, you're all awesome!
This chapter is dedicated to my Aunt Dianne, who sadly passed away on October 16th 2021 from heart failure. Wherever she is now, I hope she's been reunited with Uncle Noel who tragically died in February 2021 from Jacob's Disease. May they be at peace always.