Weasel was being weird and Wade wasn't sure why.

He'd shown up a few hours ago, back from a job Weasel had given him and returned to tell him so the client would pay up and he could pick up another job. Yes, he may have been in his Deadpool suit, but it wasn't the first time he'd worn it in the bar and there was never a problem before. And yes, he was covered in blood that was both his own and some scumbag's, but that was also a sight his friend had seen before. Weasel had seen him come down to the bar full of bullets and missing limbs after taking down a drug lord, and even then he didn't keep looking at him like he was a moron. And it was starting to bother Wade.

After five minutes, he couldn't take it, "I'm giving you 3 seconds to explain why you're looking at me like that before I climb over this bar and drink you into bankruptcy."

"You'll know when she gets here. I could sass you and making you feel like a tool, but you're less likely to kill Ness, so I'll leave it to her." He gestured behind Wade, to his ex-girlfriend and her fiancé, both giving him the same look.

"What day is it Wade?" She asked.

Well, that means we forgot something.

Her birthday!? Oh no, we're a bad person.

Her birthday is ages away. What the fuck have I forgotten?

Wade look away, trying to think of everything he'd organised to do today. He'd done the job he was meant to, but that was it. He didn't think he was supposed to clean his flat, so everything was a shit tip like his mind. He wasn't supposed to be meeting Vanessa at his apartment, because she never came by on Mondays...

Oh shit!

Oh shit!

Oh shit! It's Monday!

Realisation dawned on his face and his friends turned their smug smirks his way. He'd totally forgotten he was supposed to meet that hooker at his apartment. Peter, the woman had said. He was meant to have made lunch and been at home to open the door and welcome the guy in for his week stay. And yet he was here at the bar, munching a plate of stale fries and already five minutes late.

"How did you forget about this?" Nessa laughed.

"No doubt pushed it completely from his mind so he couldn't panic," Sean smiled.

More accurate to say shot it out of your brain.

What do we do?! He's gonna be mad and leave and we'll be lonely!

Panic spread through Wade's system, he wanted to put a bullet in his brain for being so stupid, but recovery from that would take even longer. He was a 20-minute walk from his place, 10 minutes if he ran. But he was in his suit, which was covered in blood and holes. Not exactly a good look for his first impression on someone he was meant to spend a week flirting and sleeping with. How the fuck was he supposed to fix this?

Then his phone started singing, the screen glowing with the service number and his blood ran cold. They must have been calling to tell him the guy had left and he'd have to try again. Another failed relationship and it hadn't even actually started. Rejected before the guy had seen his god awful face. This whole thing was a terrible idea.

Nessa picked up his phone, the Hello Kitty bedazzled case glittering on her cheek as she spoke. "Wade Wilson's phone, he's in just stepped out, but I know this number means something important. Can I help?"

The person on the other end spoke, the volume not loud enough to hear it properly, and Nessa nodded.

"I'm so sorry. It escaped our minds and he's a bit of a mess after work." She explained, apologetic tone sounding rehearsed. "Tell Peter the spare key is on top of the doorway, he can let himself in and make himself at home. I'll get Wade there as fast as I can, okay?"

She listened again, nodding and thanking the lady for being understanding. She requested they pass on Wade's apology and hung up grinning at her fiancé. He kissed her cheek and thanked the ceiling that he had a baby with a problem-solver like her.

"Enough, I'm not finished." She turned to scowl at Wade, finger-pointing seriously, "you are going to jump in Weasel's shower. Right now. If you have a change of clothes here, that's great."

"He doesn't, and that suit's covered in bullet holes," Weas frowned.

"Then I'll patch it up as fast as I can. Wouldn't be the first time I've had to. Now get a move on, the poor kid's been waiting long enough."

~o0o~

For the fourth time since getting in the elevator, Vanessa reminded Wade to apologise as soon as he walked into his apartment. She was nearing the end of her lecture on him being a foolish airhead from blowing holes in it all the time, just having finished the section on how critical it was for him to full-on grovel for leaving the guy to entertain himself in a stranger's house for almost 3 hours. It turned out, the suit took a while to patch up due to how many holes and gashes it had earned during the fight with a rival gang he'd been paid to wipe out.

"And being in that suit, dude. Not a great move either," Sean grimaced.

"Just cos you X-men goodies don't like getting your hands dirty to help people," Wade grumbled, earning a punch in the arm from Nessa. "Ouch, stop getting you're wifey to fight your battle for you."

"I don't. She's a protective momma bear, you should realise that by now and stop pushing the buttons."

Wade rolled his eyes, moving ahead to put his hand on the doorknob. He took a moment, regulating his breathing and reminding himself he had nothing to worry about. The guy was warned about the scars and still showed up. That was more than Wade had hoped for when he first called the number. He wasn't looking for his soulmate, he only hoped to find a companion that didn't mind spending time with him in exchange for a free apartment and food. He just had to apologise and hope the guy wasn't too pissed out, gay guys were infamously catty and they were already starting on the wrong foot.

"Just open the door," Weasel rolled his eyes. "The dude isn't gonna jump out the window over a red, full-body suit."

Wade scoffed, finding the courage in his mate's words to open the door. And they were all bombarded by the bouncy tune of Wham! coming from the living room. Everyone looked to Wade, who was sure he hadn't left his stereo on earlier, and slowly approached the noise. It turned out to be terminating from a phone on the coffee table, with a young man cleaning his windows with swaying hips and the lyrics flowing from pretty pink lips.

So fucking pretty!

Please don't screw this up for us!

"Sorry. I know it's rude to show up at someone's house and just start cleaning, but I got nervous when nobody was here and started nesting."

He turned to his little audience with a sheepish smile and Wade was mesmerised. He had sweet brown doe eyes and a mess of curled brown hair. His skin looked smooth, flawless from what Wade could tell. He wanted to worship every inch of the angel that got lost and found itself cleaning and singing to Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go in his living room.

You have a strange idea of how angels spend their time.

Not denying he's an angel though, are you?

"I'm sure that's fine," Nessa excused, looking away from Wade and shaking her head.

"If you don't mind me asking, why clean to this song," Sean questioned.

Peter giggled, and Wade's knees almost buckled, "it's a habit. My aunt used to play upbeat 80s music and clean, so it's just something I picked up. Plus this song is one of my favourites, so a bit of a comfort thing. I'd have played Careless Whisper, but that's not a cleaning kind song."

All his friend turned to him with raised eyebrows, Peter following their gaze self-consciously. But Wade was stuck. He didn't know what to say, or how to move, because he was suddenly desperate to have this thing work out. The boy in front of him was beautiful, like could stop your heart gorgeous, and he even liked the music Wade loved. Just the mention of his 80s romance fantasy jam had him playing it out in his head. Peter looking down and smiling at him from his bedroom window while he played the song out of boombox and asked him out on a date. It seemed almost realistic in a nostalgic, old-fashioned way. So far, the guy just seemed...

Perfect.

PERFECT!

Perfect.

"Why don't we go back to mine," Weas smirked. "Give these two a chance to catch up properly."

"Yeah, better late than never," Sean chuckled.

The three of them headed down the hallway, throwing Wade smug looks before leaving him alone with his match. And he still didn't know what to say.

"I'm sure they've been busting your balls about forgetting, but it's okay," he smiled, sweet and understanding. "If I was working today, I might have too. But I won't be for a while. This week I'm all yours."

Wade gulped, making Peter giggle again. He promised to sit down and talk to Wade in a moment, but he guessed the man wanted a second to feel comfortable with a stranger in his space, and he needed to finish the windows at least. He mentioned he'd been shopping while Wade wasn't here because the cupboards seemed bare and bought ingredients for his aunt's enchilada recipe to make for dinner.

"If you don't mind? I mean, I know Mexican food isn't everyone's meal of choice," he blushed, peeking at Wade from under his lashes.

"Perfect," Wade breathed, coughing when Peter's eyebrows drew together. "I mean, that would be perfect."

His house guest smiled, returning to his chore of cleaning the windows and singing along to I Wanna Dance With Somebody with hips swaying again. How Wade hadn't noticed his ass before was unknown to him, because now he wanted nothing more than to stare at the juicy-looking globes. That was an ass he could bounce a quarter off. How he was going to survive humiliating himself in front of someone so perfect was a mystery.

Perhaps, by having a mutation that makes you basically immortal, dipshit.

For once, ignoring that voice seemed so easy, as Peter captured his full attention with his smile and bouncing back to the kitchen with the used bucket and sponge. He called out to ask if Wade wanted a drink or something, and he finally found his voice to calmly reply that he was fine as he sat on his sofa. It seemed cleaner, and the cushions Nessa insisted he needed seemed to be softer. And he waited, trying to relax in time for Peter to finish up in the kitchen so they could sit down and actually talk to each other.

Please, don't say something to chase this guy off, Wade.

Fat chance.

Fat chance.