Hi! This is my first Snowbarry fic, it was an idea that I had a lot of time in my head and finally I wrote it, I hope you like it.

I recommend you to listen while you read the song Here without you by 3 doors down and/or before you go by Lewis Capaldi.

Also an apology if there is any mistake in the narration or with the spelling, I want to clarify that English is not my native language and it is a little difficult for me.

Well, that's all.

Joe had received a call from Harry Wells, who had informed him what had happened with the Team Flash, when he received the news, he immediately went to S.T.A.R. laboratories, when he arrived, he found Harry in the bark, he told him what had happened. Cisco had gone straight home, Barry did come back but did not talk to anyone, Harry told him he was in the pipeline, Joe headed that way.

Walking through the door, Joe found Barry, still wearing his Flash suit, sitting on the floor in front of the pipeline with his head in his hands. The detective, still overwhelmed by the news, walked over to his son and sat down next to him, without saying anything, placed a hand on his shoulder, Barry, looked up at his father, crying.

—This didn't have to happen Joe, not like this —tears fell from Barry's eyes—. It all happened so fast, I couldn't do anything, I was paralyzed.

1 hour earlier

Barry, Caitlin, Cisco and Harry were talking in the cortex when the monitor began to blink indicating a meta alert; immediately, the four friends got to work.

—Someone broke into Mercury Labs —Harry informed the speedster, who was already in his Flash suit.

—I got it —he said, heading at high speed towards his mission.

Caitlin and Cisco were already next to Harry on the monitors, giving indications to the speedster.

Barry arrived at his destination, finding there to reverse Flash and the meta, Milie Rawlins, known as Sunshine, standing next to him.

—Flash, good to see you again —Thawne said, with a smile on his face.

—Yeah, I can't say the same —Barry said, with a hint of contempt in his voice—. What are you here for now?

—You know what I want, I don't have to say it again, but to make it happen this time, I got a little help —he said, pointing to the meta human next to him.

A few minutes later, Flash finds himself fighting Sunshine; meanwhile, Reverse Flash escapes. Barry couldn't let him go, so he called his friends for help over the comms; in an instant, a breach appeared and out of it came Frost and Vibe ready to help their friend.

—You guys take care of Sunshine, I'll go for Thawne —Flash told his friends—. Be careful —he said to Frost, she looked at him.

—Don't worry, I've got him —she assured him—. See you later.

With that said, Barry left and she joined Cisco.

Barry run for a while next to Thawne trying to stop him until he did. He got him by the neck and slammed his back against the wall.

—Come on Flash, you've got me now you can kill me —Thawne said, trying to provoke Barry—. Do it!

Barry wanted to do it, but he knew the consequences so he just held back for his own good.

—No, I won't, I'm not like you —Barry replied, causing his enemy to laugh in disgust.

—Of course not, every time we see each other you just prove you're too much of a coward to do it.

Barry was already tired, he just wanted Thawne to stop hurting, he had tried to reason with him before, but it had been useless he had not given up and definitely, he would not do it now.

—What do you want from me? —he asked, tired of the same situation.

—I told you before, I want you to suffer and never be happy —he answered—. Remember Flash, you are not a hero, someone you love always ends up dying because of you.

Barry hated that his words would always affect him, because he knew he was right, he had already lost too much, people he loved, and if someone else died because of him, he would no longer bear it. As long as Thawne is still alive, it won't end, he knew that well, but he can't kill him, not now.

His thoughts were interrupted by Frost's voice over the comms, he was calling for help, it seems he was proving difficult for his friends to stop Sunshine. Immediately, fear gripped Barry as he listened to his friend. He had to go help them, they needed him.

He knew he would regret what he was going to do, but he couldn't leave Caitlin and Cisco alone. She would let Thawne go, again, like she always does, but then she would find the time to catch him.

—Looks like your friends need your help Flash —Thawne said, who seemed to hear his thoughts.

Flash looked at him, holding back his urge to kill him.

—Listen to me Thawne, this is not going to stay like this, I will come back and finish you, I swear it —Barry said, with anger in his voice.

—We'll see about that, Flash —he said—. You'd better hurry, you don't want someone to die today.

Barry released his grip and with one last look at him, ran back to his friends.

In an instant he was at the site of the battle but there was no sign of the three metas. They had probably moved during the fight, Barry thought.

He was about to look for his friends when he heard Cisco shout "CAITLIN" very loudly.

Barry tensed at the sound of his friend's name, fear overcame him and without another thought, he immediately ran.

Barry stopped, there was no sign of Sunshine anywhere, he looked everywhere for his friends and when he finally found them, he froze.

Cisco was on his knees, with his arms down and his head in his hands, in front of him, Caitlin was on the ground, seriously injured, gasping for breath and almost out of breath. He, simply ran towards her, even with his super speed he felt he was going too slow and feared he wouldn't get to her in time.

Barry dropped to the other side, he immediately took Caitlin in his arms very carefully and gently fearing to hurt her more and trembling he held her as close to him as possible, afraid to let go and lose her. He felt his whole world fall down under him; he had feared for this moment ever since he met Caitlin and it was even harder when he discovered his feelings for her. Finally his greatest fear was in front of him, the love of his life was dying.

—It hurts so much Barry —Caitlin groaned in pain, breathing heavily.

Barry broke down when he heard her, he looked so bad.

—I know Cait, I know —his eyes filled with tears and he began to rub her hair slowly, trying to calm her pain.

Caitlin began to tremble, her skin was turning pale like when Frost would appear, but this time it was different, no white hair, no bright eyes, no Frost, just Caitlin, her Cait and she was losing her.

—You're going to be fine, I promise —Barry said more to himself than to her, in an attempt to stop his thoughts and his anxiety of seeing her in this condition—. You'll be fine —his hand went down from her hair to her cheek to caress it.

He could take her in his arms at that moment and take her to the labs, but there was no way, she was too injured and weak and her body would not support that she could even die on the way, she was already too tired, but even he knew it was too late, so he just wanted to stay there and see her one last time.

—No, I won't, we both know what's going to happen —Caitlin said.

She looked at Cisco, slowly moved her shaking hand and took her friend's hand in hers, making him look at her.

—Cisco thank you, for being my best friend, for- for being there when I needed you —she gasps and takes a breath—. We had the best times together and that's how I want you to remember me, okay?

—Caitlin, please don't —Cisco answered.

His friend couldn't hold back the tears, he held her hand stronger, he didn't want to see his best friend die.

—Cisco... —she gave him a pleading look.

—All right, I'll do it.

He just couldn't take it anymore, he couldn't see his friend suffering, it hurt too much and he didn't want to accept her fate. Without a word she got up and walked away.

For a few moments there was a heartbreaking silence, only Caitlin's gasps and Barry's small sobs could be heard.

—I'm sorry, Barry —Caitlin finally said.

Barry nodded his head and hugged her closer to him.

—It's okay, you don't have to apologize Cait —tears running down Barry's face—. You just have to stay with me.

They both knew that Caitlin's time was running out, the need to say one last time what they felt, was what Barry and Caitlin needed.

—There's something I have to tell you Barry —she gasped and took a breath—. I wish I could have said it another time, but I need you to know —she took another breath and Barry just nodded—. I'm in love with you.

Caitlin looked at him and her eyes filled with tears, finally she could tell him everything.

—I-I spent nine months by your side, taking care of you and waiting for you to wake up from your coma, I didn't know it but when you woke up and I looked at you for the first time I knew I had fallen in love with you —she gasps again—. I didn't accept it, I put my feelings aside and tried, but as time went by, it got stronger.

Caitlin begins to feel weaker, she stops for a moment and takes another long breath.

—I felt so relieved when I saw you coming all those times you saved my life or when you came hurt and I was terrified of losing you and never seeing you again, that's when I accepted my love for you —she took another breath—. I never told you because I was afraid of losing you and that everything would end for both of us, so I preferred to be by your side even if we were just friends.

Caitlin finished as tears continued to fall down her cheeks, her breathing began to slow down.

Caitlin's words devastated Barry, he also felt the same way and had wanted to confess his feelings for her during the last years, to tell her how much he loved her and how important she was for him, but his pride and the fear of losing her had stopped him, trying to put it aside, now he regretted it so much.

—I'm in love with you too, Caitlin, I fell in love from the first time I saw you.

Barry was really affected, tears were coming out of his eyes as he looked at Caitlin.

—Forgive me Cait, I hide my feelings all this time because I was afraid of losing you too, so I preferred to keep you by my side to see you every day, even though it drives me crazy when someone tries to hurt you or when I see you with someone else, it killed me not being able to kiss you and hug you and you don't know how much I regret it now.

Caitlin had waited so long to hear those words, it had finally happened. At that moment calm came over her, the pain began to subside and her body no longer trembled, she felt lighter now.

—Barry is fine, it doesn't hurt anymore because I am in the arms of the man I love and will always love, my hero.

Taking a last breath of air, a small smile came out of her face and she looked at Barry.

—No, no Cait, please don't do this to me, you can't leave me.

Barry crying hold her harder against him, he knew Caitlin was leaving but he couldn't let her go.

—Promise me Barry that with or without your speed, you'll still be you —she smiles weakly and almost breathlessly at him.

—I promise —he says crying and places a kiss on her forehead—. I promise, Cait.

—I love you, Barry.

With the little strength she had left, Caitlin moves her hand up to caress Barry's cheek.

—I love you too, Caitlin.

Barry moves closer to her and places his lips on hers, kissing her softly as her tears fall. At that moment, Caitlin's hand leaves his cheek and falls heavily to her side as what little warmth was left in her disappears, her skin goes completely pale and her body becomes rigid and heavy.

Barry looks at her crying heavily, she already with her eyes closed, unable to accept that Caitlin was gone, forever.

Joe listened to his son devastated and sad, tears fell from his eyes, it hurt him because even he had loved her like a daughter, he could not believe that Caitlin had died, if it was difficult for him, he could not imagine what his son was feeling at that moment, he had lost the love of his life, so he just hugged him and let Barry cry in his arms.

—Barry this is not your fault, there was nothing else to do.

—No Joe, I was too late and now Caitlin is dead, Thawne was right I'm not a hero.

Joe hugged Barry tighter.

—Don't say that, you were always with Caitlin, to her you were a hero and always will be.

1 month later

Central City Cemetery

—Hi Cait, I'm sorry I didn't come yesterday but these days we've had some metas to defeat and you know Flash has to work.

Barry was standing in front of Caitlin's headstone, which was next to his mother's, on which was written:

"Caitlin Snow, beloved daughter and friend."

—I really need you Cait —she sighs slowly—. I'm trying to get on with my life, but I'm finding it a bit difficult.

The next day what Caitlin had died Barry had taken care of everything and had an emotional and sad funeral, her friends Team Arrow and Team Supergirl, had also attended, Barry had given them the news hours after what happened, when they found out, saddened and devastated arrived as soon as possible to Central City to accompany them.

The days went by and Caitlin's loss was felt more and more, especially for Barry who was trying everything to keep busy and not feel her loss so much, it was not proving to be easy at all. Every day since the funeral, Barry visits Caitlin, brings her flowers and tells her about his day.

—It hasn't been easy for Cisco either, it still hurts, we're both closer as friends now, but I know we'll get through it in time.

He looked at the headstone in silence for a moment and then sighed.

—Well it's time to go, it was a long day and I'm a little tired but I'll see you tomorrow, I promise —he placed the flowers on the headstone—. I love you.

And Barry said goodbye as he did every day, to the love of his life.