CHAPTER 9

Doctor Scilla waited for her to sit down. He was at his desk already, rearranging some papers and checking the last things on his computer.

He was ready for her to start the questioning, he knew it was about to come, only, it didn't.

She was sitting there in front of him, her eyes focused on the window behind his back, looking at the city outside. Life was going on for everyone down there on the streets and he knew he was going to pause this girl's life.

It was hard for people to hear the news but it was hard for the doctors to deliver them, even harder when the patients were young and healthy until their paths crossed. He could see she didn't want to know, so he took a deep breath and started to talk.

"Beca?" he called, her gaze still focused on the window. She blinked, slowly, her eyes switching the focus on his face. "Your blood tests came back, I want to try and make you underst.." he was abruptly stopped by the girl's voice.

"Just say it doc. I have cancer".

He averted his eyes for just one second and refocused on the brunette in no time, "You do Beca. I'm so sorry".

She run her hands through her hair, her eyes on the ceiling, she didn't want to cry. After being silent for a long time and regaining her composure, she looked at the doctor, "What now?".

"We'll have to take you down for the biopsy. Unfortunately your red blood cells are too low and the white ones showed us the presence of leukemic cells. We think it could be acute myeloblastic leukemia".

"You think? What the hell does it mean? Either you know it or not doctor!" she couldn't sit anymore, she got up abruptly and started pacing the room.

"Please Beca, calm down. That's why we're going to do the biopsy, to be sure it's this type of cancer. We have to be sure before giving you the treatments you need to fight this".

She stopped in her tracks, turned to the doctor "What are you going to do to me?" It was starting to get real.

"The examination consists of a special puncture, it's usually done in the posterior part of your pelvis", he started to explain, "We're going to make you lye down in a fetal position on the bed, give you a local anesthesia and then I'll insert a special needle for a few centimeters in your bone. The needle will pick up a small cylinder of bone tissue which will be subjected to a microscopic examination to check if there are any abnormalities in the cells contained in the bone marrow".

"Is it going to hurt?" it was a legit question, he was going to insert a needle in her bone after all.

"It's a possibility. Depends on the patient".

"What's the chance for me to survive this shit?" it was the only thing she could think of.

"We can discuss that later". It was never a good idea to talk about numbers in this cases.

"I want to know! Now, not later!" she knew she was being an awful person so she tried to calm herself. "Sorry. I just need to know". She pleaded with her watery eyes.

This was not easy at all. You think being a doctor for over twenty-five yers would make it easier but that was a lie, it never gets any easier. One thing he learned over this years tho, was that people preferred to know it straight away and didn't need for others to sugar coat it. "The chances are low, Beca. But with the right therapy we can try to fight it".

There. She asked for it. Not her best idea but it was something they would have had to talk about at some point anyway, so why wait. "When do we have to go?" she was trying so hard not to cry. Better change the topic and not think about it too much, she was already going crazy.

"I'm going to go tell the nurses to prepare the room, will go talk to the anesthetist and will send someone to get you in an hour. You can stay here in the meantime. And call your friend. I'm sure she's worried and you need someone to be with you now, don't stay in here alone". He got up from the chair, walked to her and put a hand on her shoulder giving it a light squeeze, "Trust me, you don't want to be alone. Call her" he could see the indecision on her face. He removed his hands from her, opened the door and left the room.

She stood there. Unmoving, just looking at him leaving. She needed her father now. And Alyssa. She wasn't the kind of person that wanted her parents with her for every little thing that happened in her life, yes, they were close but she liked to be indipendent but right now, she just wanted her parents there. She needed their hugs and for them to tell her everything will be okay, that she will make it and will come out stronger than ever before. She didn't want to call them tho. They were at work and this wasn't something to talk about over the phone, they were going to call her later anyway. Maybe she should just save them the trouble to do that and just go home herself, she could always ask Aubrey to give her a ride from the hospital when they she was done.

Damn.. she almost forgot about the girl waiting in the other room. She had to go there and call her, she couldn't let her wait forever, she just needed some time to herself to process the news.

After spending some time alone in the doctor's office she decided it was time to go call the blonde and let her know what was happening. She opened the door and made her way across the room and stopped right in fromt of the girl.

Beca didn't need to talk, the blonde understood it wasn't anything good, the tears that trathened to fall down her eyes were a major give away already. Neither of them said a word, the only thing Beca did was looking at the other girl's face to know she knew it alredy, she walked back to the room signaling Aubrey to follow. She waited for the team captain to go in and followed her, closing the door once they were both inside.

She sat back down on the chair once again, waiting for Aubrey to sit on the one next to her.

When she did, Beca turned to face her, tears now falling down on her cheecks. She took a second to wipe them away, "It's.. it's leukemia. Myelotic something, sorry I don't remember the exact name" a small cough to clear her throat. "He said my blood cells are fucked up and they will take me down for that biopsy thing".

The blonde released a breath she didn't know she was holding. "God". She knew about this type of cancer, she read about people surviving on her books and medical journals but it was extremely hard. "I'm so sorry Bec". She didn't know what to say,this was her team mate and friend, she was shocked. Their relationship wasn't the best in the world but didn't mean it hurt less.

"Everyone keep saying that. Guess that's the only thing you can say" she sighed. It was becoming a habit of hers. She was focused on the blonde's face, it seemed like she couldn't look away even if she wanted to. Those eyes were like a magnet, she would drown in them and she wouldn't mind. "You called me Bec", an almost imperceptible smile was forming on her lips. It was stupid, but couldn't stop thinking about the nickname coming out from her mouth.

"I guess I did" no need to fight this time, she was the only person there for her in that moment, she could put aside their divergences and be the friend she knew she could be. Without thinking it twice she took one of Beca's hands and got up from the chair pulling the girl up with her too, they locked eyes and a second later they were hugging.

Beca was shocked, she totally wasn't expecting something like that to happen, her eyes were wide, her breath short, she didn't move, stood still untill she felt hands moving first down her back and then back up on her neck, Aubrey's head was resting on her shoulder. Her body relaxed with every movement and without even noticing she rested her hands on the girl's hips holding her. Her head went down to rest on the other girl's one, eyes closed trying to block everything out, trying to forget where they where. It felt so good, Aubrey smelled amazing, like coconut, Beca thought. There was just one little detail that could turn into a problem and she was starting to feel it. Her head shot up, eyes wide open. She pushed the girl away from her body and walked over to the windows turning her back to Aubrey.

"Beca, are you okay?" she asked tentatively, confusion adorning her features.

"Stupid idiot! This is not the right time to make you feel your presence!" she was talking with her head down, it looked like she was referring to the floor. "What the fuck is wrong with me?" her head was up again, eyes on the ceiling and a hand on her forehead slapping it. "Relax Beca". She started the relaxing breathing Chloe taught her a long time ago. It was a frequent problem in her early teenage years. Now she was calmer, something else occupied her mind. She was talking to herself, in front of the person she liked. Way to go Mitchell!

"Don't worry, it can happen" she said trying to hold the smile that was forming on her lips.

She spun around looking at the girl. "You felt it?"

A nod confirmed her thoughts. "Damn it! I thought I was faster" she sighed turning back around to face Aubrey. She managed to take back the control in record time, for once in her life.

"There's no need to worry, really". It could happen to anyone, right? Well, she knew it could, she was a med student after all, she studied things like that. Even highschoolers knew it was normal. Why was she so nervous about it then? It's not like she hoped it wasn't just a reflection, was it?

"I'm so sorry Aubrey. I'm usually better than that, I guess I got cought up in the moment and being so close to you made me fee.." her left hand shot up to her mouth the moment her brain cought up with what she was saying. "Oh my God! I should stop talking".

Wait. Was Beca serious about what she was saying? First the moments they shared in the lockeroom after the incident of the bleeding nose, Beca was trying to tell her something but never had the chance to finish, then here, at the hospital, the same day. Her father saying something about her crush on her apparently. And then again at the beach when she asked her if she would stay. Beca was confusing, they never had such a great relationship and she never showed any interest in her. Aubrey was sure her father thought she was another person and she probably misinterpreted the words Beca told her. Aubrey smiled at herself and then flashed the same little smile at the younger girl "Beca stop beating yourself up about it. It happened, that's all. We can go back to hate eachother when this day will be over".

She furrowed her brows "Aubrey, I don't.."

In that moment the door opened and doctor Scilla entered, "Sorry to interrupt" he said to the both of them but his focused shifted towards Beca almost immediately, "It's time to go".

She was feeling nervous again. She walked over to the door once again and with a last glance at the girl she went out and followed the doctor to the elevator.