Clif Simon Factoid: I was the first person who signed up for Cliff's fan club in February 2021. He sent each of us a personalized video. He called me by the wrong name. He was gracious enough to apologize and sent me another video with my correct name in it.
JACK
My son is less than a week old, and I have to go off-world. All of SG-1 and a security team are included on this mission. It's a mission requested by the Tok'ra.
Jacob and Matta are still with us on Earth, so the Tok'ra sent Re'nal as the messenger. I'm waiting for the catch. There's always a catch with the Tok'ra.
Here's the catch. There's some Goa'uld summit taking place, and they want to sneak in a human spy. And of course, the Tok'ra came knocking on Earth looking for that want someone fluent in Goa'uld. Someone who is not a Jaffa or Tok'ra. The only one in the room that fits that is Daniel. Great.
The whole mission was pretty fucked up. I lost people on SG-17. SG-1 is fine and alive. The Tok'ra lost Re'nal. But in the end we got the intel we needed. Daniel even got to see the Goa'uld he identified on the planet where Sam went missing. That Ba'al guy. So now he will start going back over his previous notes from Schrodinger 1's missions now that we know who this Ba'al is.
The first thing Hammond says to me when I walk through the Gate is to go see him in his office. I have a feeling I know exactly what this is about. Great.
I turn in everything and make my way to Hammond's office. I close the door behind me as he gets up to shut the other door. I slowly sit in the chair in front of his desk. He stares at me for a few moments.
"I'm pretty sure you know what this is about, so I'll get right to it. No Court Martial. You will have NJP sentenced by me, and you will do exactly as I say, Colonel, or I will turn you over to Kinsey."
"Yes, sir. Why? What happened to make him change his mind?"
"He didn't. I called in a silver bullet I've been holding on to since Vietnam," he tells me.
I look at him, and he is dead serious. I lower my eyes and rub my hands in my lap. I want to ask, but should I?
"You and Major Carter are lucky she was declared dead when we found out about little Jacob. Otherwise, you both would be facing punishment. Dealing with Kinsey was no picnic."
"Yes, sir. May I ask what happened that I'm not going to jail?" I ask, trying to be funny. But he's not having any of my nonsense right now.
"Knock it off," he says. He stares at me for a moment or two, and tents his fingers before putting his palms both flat on his desk.
"Did you know that I saved Henry Hayes' life in Vietnam?" he asks. I shake my head.
"Well, I did. We were taking heavy fire. He wasn't looking in the correct location, and I saw the planes coming down on him. I moved my own plane to intercept. I took some hits, but I could still fly. I shot the enemy plane down, which gave Henry another day of life."
He stops talking, and I sit and stare waiting for him to continue. He is formulating his reply. His eyes do not leave mine, and I can tell this is serious.
"He is the silver bullet I called upon. I spent it on you," he says from the other side of his desk.
I sit stunned in front of him. He called in a favor from the President? For me and Carter? Seems like I will now owe Hammond for the rest of my life.
"Yes, sir, but you didn't really…" and he cuts me off.
"Don't think for one moment you are getting off clean. Here's your official declaration. This will go in your official record."
He hands me the paper. Forfeiture of pay for three months, three months extra duty, and completing all of my outstanding mission reports in one month's time. I look back up to him, and he's now looking down at the paper in my hands.
"No reduction in rank?" I ask.
"No. I fought for that one the most. Your three months extra duty will be taking over for me every Friday, and on weekends as needed. I will have a three day weekend for the next three months. And your reports better be on my desk at the end of one month."
I'll be taking Hammond's duty every Friday? That sounds more like grooming me than punishment. No, that is punishment. I don't want to be the man.
"I understand, sir. Thank you."
"Don't thank me yet. Thank me in a year. This is not in your electronic record."
"Not, sir?" I ask.
He just shakes his head in affirmation.
That implies that after my punishment, and then the subsequent months that follow, this could all be stricken from my record. He really did call in a silver bullet for me. I find I am speechless. I'm overcome with emotion for my whole life right now. My voice is a bit shaken when I speak again.
"Sir, I don't know what to say," I start, then have to clear my throat. "Thank you. He is worth every bit of this. I'd have taken more just to be able to hold him again one day."
I have to clear my throat again.
"I know, son. That is why I fought so hard for you."
He does not say anything. He does not dismiss me. He just looks from me to his desk, like he is formulating his next words. After a few more moments he speaks again.
"You're a good man, Jack. You don't always think things through, unless it's for work. And you have a bit of a temper at times. But you have never let that anger affect the safety of our people or property. I know you love your people here. And with changes coming to the SGC, I'd recommend that you and Major Carter get married as soon as you can to avoid being separated."
"Sir, you keep calling her Major. You have called her Doctor up until today."
"Yes, her reinstatement came through this morning. I haven't been able to contact her. She may be a bit busy at home," he says with a smile. "Can you let her know? She may have one more month of maternity leave. She should also receive all of her back pay this week, if it has not already been deposited," he said.
Hamomnd's words also imply changes here at the SGC. If we get married now, there won't be any conflict with any rules of working together in the future because it would already be done. If we don't, then one of us might have to be transferred.
"Yes, I understand, sir. I will stop by on my way home," I say. But I'm certain he knows I am already staying nights with Carter and little Jacob.
If anyone knows anything about Samantha Carter it is that she is not one to be coerced. She makes her mind up when she has the facts she needs to make an informed decision. Everything from our one night together, to the birth of our son, has all been her decision to include me in her life. Marrying her will have to be her choice. My mind is already made up. I knew in 1997 that I wanted to marry her. OK, maybe 1999.
"Alright. Get out of here and go home to your son and Major Carter. I won't see you Friday, but I'll try to give you a pass down on Thursday," he says with a big smart ass smile on his face. I laugh a little and get up out of my seat.
"Thank you, sir. Have a good night."
On my way to Carter's house I have plenty of time to think. I got off with NJP because Hammond used a huge favor on me and Carter. This is something that can never be repaid. This is a gift that you respect, and do right by that person. So if I have to be the man every Friday for the next three months, then I'm going to be the best man I can.
I arrive at Carter's house and park on the street. I did not even think about dinner. I'm sure I can find something to eat or make inside. If not, then I can run to pick something up. I jingle my key as I get closer to her door. I put my key in the door and unlock it.
I walk in and it's very quiet. I immediately walk into Jacob's room and find him sound asleep. I hear the water turned on in Carter's room. She must be taking a shower. I walk to her door, and it is opened. I knock and say hello.
"Carter? I'm home," I say, then smile to myself.
"Hey, I'll be out in a bit. Can you check on Jacob?"
"Already did. He's out like a light. I'll be in the kitchen finding some food."
"Oh, that would be great. I haven't eaten a lot today. Thank you."
I turn to walk to her kitchen. No sooner did I open the refrigerator than I hear Jacob fussing in his room. I close the fridge and walk swiftly to his room. I stare at this little life. This little life that I helped create. I gently pick him up and he stops crying. I immediately notice that the reason for his fussing is the incredible stench coming from his hind end.
I bring him to his changing table. To Charlie's changing table. I remember doing this with Charlie many times. At least the times when I was home. I'd always try to give Sara a break when I was home. I know how tired she got having to raise a child almost on her own.
After a fresh diaper, I put a new set of pajamas on him. The pajamas have a cartoon elephant on the front, and an elephant butt and tail on the back side. This is the one that I picked out for our baby when I took Carter shopping that first morning when she was back on Earth.
I pick up Jacob and hold him close to me.
"You're a very handsome young man, do you know that? You get your looks from your mommy, though. I'm just an ugly, dusty old fart. But I helped make you, so that must say something about how your mommy trusts me. And I sure love you with all my heart."
I start humming and slowly dance around the bedroom with my son in my arms. I soon realize that I'm signing an old lullaby that Sara and I used to sing to Charlie. I feel an overwhelming sense of joy hit me. I know in my heart that this must be Charlie telling me to sing to Jacob. I catch my breath, and the words to the song come back to me.
I am here with you my child
It is time for you to rest
Lay your head upon my breast
Close your eyes now child and rest
I'll keep you safe
In my arms
I'll hold you while you dream
Lay your head upon my breast
Close your eyes now child and rest.
Close your eyes now child and dream.
I snuggle my nose on the top of his head and inhale. There is nothing in this world that comes close to the wonderful smell of fresh baby hair. His hands are so tiny. He is amazing. I am a dad again. This is my son. I continue to hum and sing and sway around his room just holding my little boy. I am almost done singing a second round when I hear a very familiar sniffle behind me.
SAM
I finish up in the shower. I can't decide if I want to continue to dye my hair dark brown, or go back to my natural blonde. I do need to decide soon. I've got roots. I can ask the father of my child what he prefers to get a second opinion. Jacob will be hungry soon.
I pull on one of my nursing bras and a tank top. No one ever mentioned how tender and sore my boobs would have gotten. I have to sleep in these bras or else I cannot function at all. There's no way I can let Jack touch me right now. I laugh at that thought. The doctor says we shouldn't do that anyway for five more weeks or so.
I also put on a pair of pajama bottoms. I slide my feet into my house slippers, which are really a pair of those ankle high wool-lined boots. As I get to my bedroom door, I am frozen in place. I hear Jack talking to Jacob in the next room.
Then I hear Jack sing to Jacob. I remember Jack telling me that he was in a band in the 1970's. He can really sing. His voice rumbles as he sings to our son, and that rumble has always comforted me. It's also incredibly sexy and turns me on.
The song is beautiful. I step slowly and quietly out of my room to go stand outside the door to Jacob's room. The lyrics are soft and tender, and convey a love from a parent to child.
Listening to him sing to our son moves me. Janet is right. My dad is right. I can't afford to play these games with him anymore. We have a son. We are a family. Whether or not this happened the way I wanted or not, Jacob is here. He is our responsibility.
I crane my head around the door to try to look at them. What I see is my entire heart in one room. Jacob is cradled on Jack's chest. One of Jacob's legs is on either side of Jack's bent elbow. Jack's hand is supporting Jacob's back. Jacob's head is close to Jack's neck, and Jack is resting his cheek on Jacob's head. Both of their eyes are closed.
Jack's voice is so peaceful to listen to when he talks. When he sings, it is a whole new level. I am captured by his gentleness. I cannot stop the tears from my eyes.
For as much as has been taken from Jack, to be able to give him a new life is something that I may never get over.
All this time I have been wondering and searching for some sign or feeling to tell me that I still belong in Jack's life. Now I see that those signs and feelings have never changed. It is still here. It has been here the whole time. My heart knew it, and I tried to use logic where logic has never made sense for me and Jack. I know what I have to do.
I cannot contain my sobs. I put my hands to my eyes to wipe the tears away, but the tears keep coming. I let out a little sniffle. Then he turns to me, holding our son. There is nothing more beautiful in the worlds that I can think of which would be more precious than what I'm looking at right now.
"There's your mommy, Jacob. She's a good mommy," he says softly.
Jack kisses Jacob's head and then he bends over to lay Jacob back in his crib.
He stands back up and turns to me. He gives me that crooked smile when he thinks I'm doing something weird. Why can one look from him reduce me to a puddle of goo? I am at peace. I am no longer afraid of my future.
I stand in front of him just crying. He is looking at me with his mouth just turned up enough that I know he is happy and not concerned that something is wrong with me. I look at him, and before I can stop anything, the word comes out of my mouth.
"Yes."
He just continues to stare back at me. I see it in his eyes when the magnitude of my word registers. He closes the short distance between us, and raises a hand to cup my face.
"Yes, what?" he asks almost in a whisper.
Like he doesn't already know. He is going to make me say it. Which is fine. I smile at him as he wipes the tears on my cheek with his thumb.
"Yes, I will marry you," I whisper in the air between us.
I cannot take my eyes from his. His thumb burns a trail of fire along my cheek as he tries to erase my tears. But the tears keep coming. I need to be close to him.
He smiles at me.
"What was that? I didn't really hear you," he said with his smart ass smirk.
I laugh. I let out snot bubbles, as usual, and try to wipe my face and nose on my shirt. I look back up to him with a big smile on my face.
"Yes, I will marry you," I repeat a little louder as I wrap my arms around him.
I can finally cuddle up to his chest again. My belly is no longer in the way. I melt into him as he nuzzles my neck with his nose. I caress his back with my hands. He is my life. My world. My universe.
"I love you," I say to him.
He lifts his head and leans back a little to look at me. His eyes have darkened, and I see that predatory protection in his face again. This look is the one reserved for me and Jacob. He doesn't take his eyes from mine, and I hear him begin to sing. This time, he is signing to me.
"Highway run, into the midnight sun, wheels go round and round, you're on my mind," Jack starts singing to me.
He moves a hand down to hold my back. He intertwines our fingers in his other hand. He raises our hands and places them on his chest as he continues to serenade me in our son's room. I am lost in his voice.
I lose track of where he is in the song. I am lost in his arms. I am lost in our slow dance. His voice continues to rumble in the air between us. I feel his words through me as he sings to me.
This song captures our lives. Almost every word is about us. How he can find the right words to say, or sing to me, right when I need it, I will never know. I don't want to know. I want him to keep surprising me.
I lean back a little and find his eyes. I can't take my eyes off of him. I slowly move with him.
"Through space and time, Always another show, Wondering where I am, Lost without you."
He makes me feel like I am the most important person in the world. I feel the music come out of him and enter my body straight into my heart.
"And being apart ain't easy on this love affair. Two strangers learn to fall in love again. I get the joy of rediscovering you. Oh, girl, you stand by me, I'm forever yours, faithfully."
Being apart from him was not easy for me. Not at all. I had to fight my way home. I had to fight myself when I did come home. I can be so damn stubborn sometimes. I don't think it was any easier for him when I was missing, either.
The song is right. That is what we are doing. Rediscovering each other. I touch his cheek with my hand and I hold him.
He hums a few more lines and then he stops. The intensity in his eyes would have made me nervous in the past. Now I understand the primal nature behind this look. Jacob changes everything. Jack is a family man. He always has been. Now he knows I understand.
He takes both of my hands in his own. He kisses the tears from my cheeks. He drops himself down on one knee in front of me. He kisses my hands before he looks up at me.
"Samantha Carter, will you do me the honor of becoming my wife?" he asks.
"I already said yes," I choke out.
"I never got to ask you the proper way," he says softly.
He looks at me like I am the only person that matters to him. Well, me and Jacob. I've been scared to let myself go again. But I feel complete with Jack. He fills in that which is missing in me. He was right all those months ago. Our orbits were destined to intersect.
"Yes, Jack. I will be your wife. Yes," I say again and again. "Now are you going to kiss me, or what?" I say, looking down at him with a big smile on my face. He is still on one knee and he laughs.
"Can you help me up?"
I laugh with him, and help him stand up. He immediately takes my head in his hands and kisses me properly. I taste him, and feel his tongue slide along my teeth. I've missed him. I drink him in just as much as he is taking all of me in. His hands slide all over my body. I'm sure I have let out a few wanton sighs as my hands wander over him.
We're like the two lost lovers in the song rediscovering each other. Technically, this would only be our second time together. It's been over nine months since the last time we were intimate together.
His hands round to my front and touch my breasts. They are so very tender. I pull back in an instant and grab his hands.
"Ah! Not yet. Way too sore," I say breathlessly.
We are both panting like we have just run through the Gate during a Jaffa battle. My body is so turned on, and my hands know that he is, too. I look at him and the first thing I do is laugh. He smiles at me.
"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I do want to, but we can't. Not for a few more weeks."
"I know. But you know, there are other things we are allowed to do," he tells me, his eyes darkening with invitation. He slides his arm around and down my back. His hand goes under my pajama pants, and his hand cups my ass. God I have missed his touch. His mouth covers mine, and I am lost in him again. After a few more minutes I pull back again.
"But I'm still leaking," I say a little shyly.
"I will wash my hands before and after," he says, not taking his eyes off of me.
My mind tries to come up with something - anything - that could put a halt to this. But I got nothing. The doctor said oral and touching is fine. Just nothing inside of me as I heal up from having a baby. OK. We're doing this.
"Oh, I'd love to wrap my mouth around you, sir," I purr.
His eyes widen, and he reaches down to readjust himself.
"Christ, Carter," he whispers between us. I smile at him and gently bite my lower lip.
"Just no touching the boobies," I softly remind him.
He smiles and takes my hand and leads me into my bedroom.
_
NJP - Non-judicial Punishment. The Navy calls it Captain's Mast. It is formal punishment, but not at a court martial level.