Cliff Simon Factoid: There are many websites that have information about Cliff. Most of it is copied and pasted from other sites. I see that being a pilot is listed on a few of those websites. However, I can find nothing about what he flew. If anyone knows, please leave a comment.
WARNING: Graphic description of war and killing.
SAM
We walk in silence the rest of the way. Jack stays by my side and is looking all around us as we walk. He is looking at the houses, downed trees, people walking around, and occasionally he turns his gaze to me.
I didn't notice until after I looked at Jarred's arm, but there are many, many tiny black dots on houses, the sidewalk, trees, and just all over. I find that I am afraid to start looking at the people now because I am sure to find more black dots like on Jarred.
My heart breaks. The Odeni rose up against each other. The Aschen did what they came here to do. They manipulated enough of the people so that they would fight their battle for them. Except it looks like in the end, they failed and the Aschen were defeated. At least that is what I hope has happened.
We arrive at Carilyn's, and Janelle knocks on her door. It is difficult for me not to look around. I also notice the black dots that pepper the outside of her home. I turn my eyes to Jack. He just holds my gaze as if he were holding me tight to his chest.
Carilyn opens the door and her eyes lock on mine. We share a moment of recognition. She does not smile. She looks older. She looks tired. She reaches her hand out to me. I reach back, and she holds my hand and pulls me in for a hug.
She pulls gently away from me, then looks at Jack.
"You must be Samantha's Match. It is an honor to meet you. I am Carilyn," she says softly, some of her power taken from her voice.
"Yes, ma'am. I am, indeed. My name is Jack. We were not properly introduced last time I was here," he says.
She gives him a small smile. It's good to see her face light again, even if it was for a brief moment.
"Yes, I remember. Well. Come in, all of you. Please. I have much to share with you, Samantha," Carilyn says.
We step inside and things don't really look that much different on the inside. Maybe a few less pieces of furniture, and there are thick drapes covering the windows. The lighting inside is a little darker than I remember.
We are asked to sit at the table - the table that I am quite familiar with. She asks if we would like anything. We all say no, but we end up with a jug of water and glasses set on the table.
"I take it that Jannelle has filled you in on what happened?" Carilyn says more than she asks.
"Yes. I am so sorry," I choke out in a whisper. I feel a warm hand on my back.
"We will be OK. We are learning to survive. We are replanting crops and rebuilding infrastructure. The technology found in other large cities is helping to sustain and rebuild our world, even out here in the villages. Paratrol is a total loss, and will be for hundreds of years to come. But other cities did survive. We have lost many people, in many different ways," she says, glancing over at Jannelle.
Jannelle drops her gaze into her lap. Jarred snuggles up into the side of his mother and holds her. I watch a few tears fall from her eyes.
"Is there anything we can do to help?" I ask. Jack continues to caress my back to try to comfort me.
Carilyn takes a deep breath, and contemplates her reply. She looks directly at Jack when she replies.
"Food and water would help some of the smaller villages. There is much sickness, so maybe medicine. And if anyone knows how to reverse the cure, we desperately could use the help. If we don't repopulate," she says and stops, letting her meaning hang in the air for us all.
I can't help the one tear that escapes my eye. These people fought for freedom, and still may end up dying. We can help with crops and medicine and rebuilding. But, if they cannot carry on their race, they will still cease to exist. The Aschen would still win. I feel a rage begin inside of me, but I hold it back. Not now.
"Carilyn, who is the leader of your people?" Jack asks softly.
"Do you remember Rivan?" Carilyn asks us.
"He was Mara's father. He came to my ship that night, right?" I reply.
"Yes. He was the magistrate of his village. He was in the beneath when the fighting started. We kept him there and would not let him help fight. He is the last remaining magistrate on our planet. All others were immediately assassinated when the fighting began. They had our own people do it," she says with venom in her eyes.
She quickly stands up and begins pacing in the room.
"It wasn't their fault. They were brainwashed. I have to believe that were it not for the interference from the Aschen that this never would have happened. You have to promise me that you will never, ever have anything to do with them. They will ruin your planet, too."
Jarred is looking down at his arm. Jannelle puts her arm around him and holds him as Carilyn keeps speaking.
"Rivan is who you should talk to. He can tell you what we need. We have reestablished our communication devices. I can call him if you like," she says, looking at Jack.
"Yes, I'd like to meet with him. How far away is he from here?" he asks.
"He is a day trip away by foot. We do have a few land vessels now, though. Just a few of your hours to reach his village," Carilyn replies.
"We have a ship with us. We can transport ourselves to him almost in an instant. I am here as a representative from Earth this time. I want to help if I can," Jack says.
Carilyn stops pacing and leaves to go call Rivan. Jack doesn't take his hand off of my back.
"You all OK?'' he asks, his question also aims at Jannelle and Jarred.
I look to Jannelle and she nods her head.
"Ya, I'm OK," I say softly, "it's just a lot for me to take in right now," I say.
He leans into me and kisses the side of my head. He has never done any public display of affection before with me during work. I look at him, questioning him with my eyes. Why?
"Because I am here for you, and I love you," he whispers.
I stare back into his warm, dark eyes. This would have been hard for me to do alone. I'd have done it alone. But I'm very glad he is by my side.
Carilyn comes back to the table.
"He would like to meet with you tomorrow. His immediate needs are medical supplies and medicine, large-scale water purification systems, and help with genetic knowledge to see if we can reverse this sterilization."
"OK, let me call up to my ship. I'll see what we can do for you," Jack says, standing up to go outside to call Ronson.
I remain at the table. No one says anything. It is a deafening silence that seems to encompass everyone now. No longer are there the obvious sounds of children playing, or adults talking. It seems gone are the days of evening walks, or trips to the orchard to pick fruit.
War changes people. War changed these people. The Odeni have a long road to recovery, and if they can't find a way to reproduce, well, I don't know what can be done.
"Carilyn, what happened to Mardi?" I finally ask.
She looks up at me with an emptiness that I cannot describe.
"My sweet Mardi is in her room. She won't come out these days," she begins, then stops and looks at Jannelle. Jannelle nods her head in understanding of something I am not privy to.
"Jarred, why don't you go home to check on your father," Jannelle says.
Jarred nods his head and then stands up to leave to go home. Life seems to have been drained from him. Long gone is the bright-eyed, inquisitive boy I met in the Quink orchard. My heart is continuing to be pulled apart here. After Jarred leaves, Carilyn continues.
"Mardi got caught in the firefight at the magistrate's home here in Markham. I think she knew for a long time what was going on. She felt trapped, and didn't know how to get out of her arrangement with Rybak. She had taken the cure, and yet he kept wanting to mate with her to give her the illusion that nothing was wrong. She says he never physically hurt her, and it was all consensual. But deep down I think she knew.
"Rybak told her to kill our magistrate when the fighting started. She had the weapon in her hand, but she couldn't do it. Rybak threatened her and she got scared. She aimed the weapon and fired seven times. Four shots to the head. Rybak went down and the magistrate grabbed Mardi and they immediately fled to the beneath. She hasn't been the same since."
I can no longer hold back my tears. I keep apologizing over and over. Both ladies come to my side to comfort me. All three of us are crying. We hear the sound of a fourth person in the room. We look up, and it's Mardi.
She looks at me like I am a ghost. I stand up and keep my eyes on her.
"Samantha?" she asks quietly.
"Yes, hello Mardi," I reply, wiping the tears from my face.
I watch as Mardi lets go of months worth of regret, pain, and sorrow.
"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I didn't know. I'm so sorry. Mom, I'm so sorry," she keeps repeating, and she backs herself into the counter in the kitchen. With nowhere else to go, she collapses on the floor and lets out the most painful cry I have ever heard come out of a human being before.
All three of us move into the kitchen and sit on the floor with her; her mother on one side, me on the other, and Jannelle in front of her. We let her cry it out with our arms around her, or touching her, or giving her any sort of comfort that we could. After about ten minutes or so, she begins to quiet down. Her head is in her mother's lap, and she sits up and turns her head to me.
"I'm so sorry," she says in a shaky whisper. "I'm so sorry to all of you. I didn't know. I didn't understand."
"We know. It's OK. You will be OK now. They are gone and we are rebuilding. You can be a part of all of it. You can help us be strong again," Carilyn says.
Mardi just shakes her head, and continues to let her tears out silently. We all eventually get up off of the floor and move back to the table.
"I'm sorry I shot you, Mardi," I say in a low voice.
All three women look at me at the same time. And almost at the same time, all three women start to laugh so hard that I thought they were crying. I didn't know what to do at first, so I look at each of them until I realize they were laughing, so I laugh too.
"Oh that was the first time I have laughed since the war began. Thank you, Samantha," Jannelle says loudly.
The other two women agree and we laugh and smile as we recall some of the fun times I had with them when I was here.
Jack comes back into the house and says he set up a meeting with a crew from the Prometheus, Rivan, and some local leaders from various villages tomorrow. Jack will be able to establish what needs they have, and if we will be able to meet any of those needs.
"What about Itsak? What happened to him and Mara?" I ask.
Carilyn's face lights up a little bit and she glances at Mardi. She takes Mardi's hand in hers as she speaks.
"Itsak is doing wonderfully. He and Mara were part of the people we smuggled in the beneath. After the war, he began going through the historical records that were kept down there. We are once again finding out who we are as a people. Mara never took the cure. Itsak never took the cure. They are trying to have one within. I hope to have a lamache soon," she says.
That makes me feel good. I learn that lamache means grandchild.
They will be OK. I look at Jack and ask if I can tell them what we found out on Schrodinger. He nods his head yes.
"Carilyn, we may have found out where your people came from. We were on a planet prior to me coming here. There are records that indicate that your planet did, at some point, have a Stargate, or puddle ring as you call it. We believe that your people escaped that planet, and ended up here hundreds and hundreds of years ago. We would like to share this information with Itsak and anyone else who is working to figure out your past."
All three women's eyes go large. They can't believe the information I am telling them.
"Maybe tomorrow when Rivan has the meeting with Jack, you could have a meeting with Itsak and his team," Jannelle says.
"I would like that very much. Our chief archeologist is on board our ship. He's the one Itsak really needs to talk to. I'll make sure they all come down tomorrow and we will split off in our groups. Sir," I say, turning to Jack, "how long do you plan on letting us stay? This could take a while. Ronson could return and come back for us in a week or so."
He looks at me and I can already hear the question that is coming out of him before the words leave his body.
"I think this is worth it. Yes, I already miss him terribly. But these people need our help. I think little Jacob would understand," I add.
"OK, I'll have Ronson make the call tomorrow. For now, we should return to the ship for the night. I'm sure these lovely ladies need to rest," Jack says.
"Why don't you stay with us?" Carilyn says.
"I do need to get home. Joph will need help. He gets upset when I am gone for too long. This war has changed him," she says with a deep sadness in her eyes. "I will return tomorrow."
We all get up and hug Jannelle, then she turns to me.
"Samantha, it was never your destinee to fight our war. But I believe it was your destinee for you to help us now. I have Sensed it. Thank you for returning."
Jannelle leaves the house for the night.
"You can stay in your old room," Carilyn says to me.
"The room that you and Itsak shared?" Jack asks.
That may make him uncomfortable. I wonder if he wants to just go to the ship. I look at Mardi and she averts her eyes. I look at Jack and bashfully answer yes.
"But, we don't have to, we can go to the ship," I say quickly.
"I'd love to stay here," he replies. "Thank you," he says, looking at Carilyn.
"Let me call Ronson back. I'll be right back," he says, and kisses the top of my head when he gets up.
"He really loves you," Mardi says quietly. "You are very lucky he came for you when he did. I'm going back to my room now," she says, and retreats quietly from the table.
I stare at her as she leaves. If I'd have been here through this war, there is no telling what would have happened to me.
Jack goes back to the ship and retrieves a change of clothes for us. He returns to the house later in the evening. We are all tired. Carilyn shows us to the room where I stayed for those months while I was here. She then leaves to go to her room for the night.
As soon as the door closes, Jack turns to make sure I'm OK. I'm standing with my back against the door, and I feel the emotion of the day come crashing down on me. I stare at him across the space. His look is intense. He walks closer to me and puts both of his hands on my face and holds me gently. His eyes never leave me.
I grab his forearms if nothing but to use them as a lifeline. I tremble as thoughts of what might have been flood me. I think about what has happened here. The images come all at once. And he is here to catch me.
"Jack, if you had been a few months later," I whisper, but I don't finish.
I feel his thumbs caress my cheeks. I hold his arms tighter in my hands.
"I know," he replies, his gaze as strong and as hard as it was the day I told him I needed him at Jacob's birth.
"I'm here now," he says.
He presses his lips to me and holds us together. I can feel what this has done to him as well. He slowly pulls back and looks me in the eyes again.
We will get through this together, we both seem to say at the same time, without words.
"C'mon. Let's get ready for bed. We have a long few days ahead of us."
We change out of our clothes and he climbs in bed behind me. He holds me tight and close, as if I would suddenly disappear. Tears quietly continue to fall from my eyes until sleep finally comes.
I am very lucky I was rescued when I was.
And I know exactly how much the man in bed with me loves me.
The next day Jack gets up first and goes into the kitchen to find Carilyn making the coffee concoction that I had when I was here. I can hear them talking, but can not make out the words. I get up and shower and change into the clothes Jack brought back from the ship yesterday.
I grab both of our bags from the bedroom and make my way to the kitchen. I say good morning to them both as I walk past the kitchen to put the bags in the living room. I go back into the kitchen to find Jack showing Carilyn how to make pancakes. They are not like ours on Earth. More like fried bread than anything. We cover them with something like coconut oil, and Jack tops them off with fried Quink. They are actually quite delicious.
We all hear a throat clear, and we look up to find Mardi standing behind the wall, peeking at us around the corner.
"Hi. Um. Something smells good," she says quietly.
"I made some of my famous pancakes. Would you like some?" Jack asks.
Carilyn motions with her arm for Mardi to come into the kitchen. She slowly walks in, and she stands next to the chair I am sitting in. She stares down at me for a while, trying to figure out what to say.
"I'm so sorry," she says.
I stand up and take her into my arms. She begins to cry again. She has had so much inside of her. So much horror around her. So much confusion. She is so young and has the rest of her life ahead of her. And apparently a very long life due to the residual effect of the cure. I just hold her.
"It's OK. I'm alive. You are alive. We both get a second chance," I say softly as I rock her gently in my arms.
She lets go of me, and gives me a small smile. She sits down and a few minutes later Jack gives her a plate of his Odeni pancakes. We only sit down to eat for maybe fifteen minutes when the phone rings. It was Rivan. They are ready to meet.