Evidently, Tharin was determined to give Cullen his space. And, belying his age, Tharin never strayed from his words. There were absolutely no texts and no calls.

Not that Cullen was waiting for Tharin. The idea of his sitting by the phone like a lovesick teenager was downright idiotic.

It was Monday, the third day of the momentary break from the relationship, which in all honesty felt more like a breakup than anything else. As Cullen had another quick breakfast, he set himself a reminder on the phone to contact Tharin on Thanksgiving, which was approximately a week away. Whatever his decision, or more likely his indecision, may be, Cullen deserved to talk to Tharin, his boyfriend.

Because they were still boyfriends. No matter what the current circumstance dictated.

But this belief in the resilience of their relationship weakened with every passing day, like rust blooming on exposed rebars and slowly corroding them away. And with every passing day, Cullen felt less and less confident. By the week's end, even sending a short text message seemed like a herculean endeavor that required more than he could give.

So, Cullen gave in. He continued to do nothing. Well, no, that wasn't strictly true. He ruminated but did nothing else.

After Cullen had ruminated to his heart's content, he had a vague thought that would not leave him. It chastised Cullen for causing all of this. If he were not so hung up about the age gap, if he had worked through his issues – and there were many indeed – on his own, Tharin would not have felt the need to ask for a break.

This was all Cullen's fault. He had no right to be shocked by or be livid at Tharin. The young man was simply reacting to his unsure attitude toward the relationship.

This small flash of insight did little in the way of making Cullen feel better. Or more confident. And so, he let more days pass by him without doing anything to change the situation. He was stuck in a vortex of quicksand, going nowhere but down. Toward being abandoned, toward being forgotten by the one person he did not want to be abandoned or be forgotten by.

Having the ability to introspect but no courage to act was just… the worst.

On Sunday morning came an untamed tide of texts from Rosalie.

The phone was left perched dangerously close to the edge of the bedside table, and it plummeted to the floor when it vibrated. The resulting thump awakened Cullen.

He grunted as he got up. He stretched to reach the phone, which resulted in him losing balance and tumbling out of the bed with the top sheet and the blanket. It was the perfect beginning to the perfect day.

His mouth tasted bitter and sour. He leaned against the bed and sat on the carpeted floor with his knees bent while massaging the left shoulder that he landed on quite brutally. The phone screen read 8:58 am.

It wasn't at all like Cullen to sleep in but sleep in he did. It seemed like he had grown more tired over the past week. He definitely slept a lot more than before. Perhaps he was bored. Bored of cogitating, of endless thinking. Perchance so.

He roughly rubbed his face as he tapped on the onslaught of text messages from Rosalie. The message bubbles expanded, and Cullen read them cursorily.

Happy almost Thanksgiving, bro! I'm so sorry for missing last week's call. I did text though, so that makes up for it, right?

Mia's doing so much better, enough to bother me about you like constantly. I can't keep fibbing for you. You have to come out.

Bran's actually coming home for Thanksgiving! Can you believe it?

How's everything? How's my new brother-in-law doing? Good?

You haven't mentioned Tharin in a while. I assume you're too busy making out with him to text back or some other lovey-dovey shit like that.

Cullen scoffed. Of all the times for Rosalie to ask about his love life… He unlocked the phone and opened the messages app. His mind was still too dazed to care about what his hands were typing.

We broke up.

Three simple words. But as soon as Cullen hit the send button, it hit him. That was what he thought deep down. That the relationship was no more.

And those were drastic words. So very final in their connotation. He knew he would not hear the end of it from Rosalie.

As he anticipated, the phone switched to an incoming call and began to vibrate. It was Rosalie. How predictable, he thought annoyedly.

But it was actually Rosalie who looked irritated. As soon as Cullen answered, she blasted, "What the hell happened?!"

He paused. Yes, Cullen, what in the actual hell did happen? "There's not much to tell… We've decided to take a break."

That at least seemed to stop her in the tracks. "Oh. Alright, that's not exactly a breakup." Rosalie exhaled in subdued relief before knitting her brow once again. She emphasized, "Y'know, you really, really need to learn to communicate better."

He felt inordinately cynical. Not to say he was usually an epitome of childlike gullibility, but neither was he so pessimistic. But he let the misery within him reign free. "Might as well be broken up."

With her pretty, sprightly face all creased, Rosalie pointed at him with a forefinger and goaded, "Okay, Cul. You need to tell me exactly what Tharin said. No paraphrasing."

Cullen sighed deeply. He did not want to have this conversation this early in the morning. Not without a mug of strong breakfast tea next to him. "I mean, I can't recite all the words precisely as they were said. But the gist is that we need to think about where we want the relationship to go. Our time in Japan's limited, and who knows what'll happen after? I think Tharin wants to keep things casual."

Rosalie had always been uncannily good at picking up tells. Even as a child, she would quickly catch on to the lies her elders told her.

She found out the truth about Santa Claus – their parents buying all the presents – at the tender age of six, a year or so before credulous Cullen did. She was the one who sussed out Mia's opioid addiction. And now, she narrowed her eyes and homed in on Cullen, formidable in her determination, "You aren't telling me the whole truth."

"I am."

"No, you aren't."

"I really am." Cullen raised his voice.

And Rosalie matched it with ease. She shook her head vigorously. "Nope! You aren't!"

"What're you, five?"

His sister snorted. "Twenty-five. Got a problem with that? Now, the whole truth, please." She held her hand out like she was asking for cash.

Cullen considered for a long while. Tharin had his problems, like his unsupportive and prejudiced father and career paths to consider. But inviting Cullen into his life added a whole host of problems that the young man did not deserve to be troubled by.

He realized he had taken too much time to give a reply. Thankfully, Rosalie did not interrupt his thoughts. He began somberly, "I may be the problem. I am the problem."

Rosalie tilted her head. "Why?"

"Because I'm secretly a self-hating homophobe. And because I can't get over the fact that Thar's much younger than me."

Rosalie raised her left hand in an apparent attempt to stem the flow of words from Cullen's mouth. "Whoa, whoa, step back. Ok… The first thing, we need to have a whole another convo about that later. And we will, believe me. Now, what's this about age? How old is Tharin?"

"Twenty-three."

"Yikes, you cradle robber."

Cullen's nose wrinkled in a snarl, letting his indignation surface on his expression. "I'd forgotten how funny you are."

Rosalie was undeterred. She pressed on with a smirk spreading across her visage, "Are you his daddy then?"

Cullen fumed, "Okay, that's totally inappropriate."

And his sister replied with an effortless laugh, which incensed him even more. Rosalie always knew how to push other people's buttons too. "C'mon, I'm only teasing. Seven-year difference is no big deal."

It was then Cullen heard Mia's voice coming from afar. "Rosie, dinner's almost ready. Who're you talking to?"

Rosalie broadened her eyes and stretched her mouth, looking uneasy. "Um… It's just Cul. Just… saying hi."

"Oh, don't hang up. I want to say hi to him." There were soft footsteps.

"No! It's okay! W-we're almost done talking anyway," stuttered Rosalie.

Soon enough, Mia appeared in the screen, her face hovering just behind Rosalie's right shoulder. "Hey! Did Rosie tell you about Bran coming home?"

"Yeah, I heard. Hey, Mia." Cullen summoned a crooked smile and waved his hand.

Despite rather off-putting attitudes from her two younger siblings, Mia seemed undiscouraged. She kept going, "What are you guys talking about?"

Rosalie's eyes broadened to the size of saucers once again. "Uh… Nothing."

It was entirely predictable that Mia would not believe Rosalie. With her brows raised, Mia questioned once again, "What are you talking about that I can't know about?"

Rosalie's eyes were darting now. Cullen sighed. He had no other choice but to tell Mia the truth. At least his heart did not thump from anticipation. His emotions were too tattered for him to be afraid of coming out.

"Mia. I have something to tell you."

"Okay, shoot."

As though he were a high schooler coming out to his parents in a coming-of-age film, Cullen took a deep breath and blurted out, "I'm bisexual."

Now, there was no indecision as Cullen forged ahead. Everything was out in the open. Why bother to hem and haw now?

"I've been dating a guy until recently. That's what we were talking about."

"I see."

"Are you… okay with it?"

Mia scoffed. "Of course, Cul. I'm a little offended you think I would be mad at you or something. Yes, I'm fine with it." One corner of her lips rose. "So, I guess that kind of explains why you never brought anyone home for the holidays, huh?"

"Kind of." Cullen decided to not to spill the beans on his dating history. Or the lack of one, rather.

Rosalie struggled with Mia until she gave in and let go of her phone. Now in possession of Rosalie's phone, Mia's face loomed close. "So, you said you've been dating this guy until… recently? What happened?" There was a faint sound of steam rattling the steel lid of a pot. "Oh, wait, let me go turn off the stove first."

The view on the phone screen once again moved around crazily until it focused back on Rosalie, who looked fairly apologetic. As apologetic as a younger sibling could look anyway. "Hey, at least you came out to Mia. That's good, right?"

"Right."

Cullen could hear Mia literally jog back from the kitchen. Her face appeared behind Rosalie once again. She asked, "So, what's happened?"

Rosalie turned to her and gave an account of the events with her unique spin. "Cul's all down and depressed because he was being a dumb fuck and now the guy's run away."

"Rosie!" reproached Mia.

"Okay, alright. He was being a dumbass. Better?" spat Rosalie without looking at all regretful.

Mia rolled her eyes and shook her head before speaking, "Alright, first things first. What's the guy's name? I'm not going to refer to him as 'the guy' for the rest of my life."

"Well, knowing Cul, you won't need to refer to 'the guy' that much longer."

"You, be quiet," warned Mia with her forefinger pointing squarely at Rosalie's nose.

Cullen exhaled heavily before beginning, "His name is Tharin, but I call him Thar. He's an English teacher from Seattle."

"And what happened?"

Cullen honestly did not feel like repeating himself, but he knew he must.

"The short version of the story is… There's an age gap and our time in Japan is limited. It's not that we're leaving tomorrow, but we aren't going to be here forever either. It's just a lot for a new relationship to overcome, I think. Thar's told me that we should take a break."

"Ok, why are you so worried about the age difference?"

Rosie interrupted, "Tharin's twenty-three."

Mia burst out laughing. "You cradle robber!"

With her hand lightly slapping Mia's shoulder, Rosalie exclaimed, "Hey! That's what I said!"

Cullen waited until the two sisters laughed as much as they wanted. Then, Mia reasoned, "But… I guess a seven-year gap isn't such a big problem as long as you don't let it be one. Why're you so worried?"

"I worry…" A tired sigh. Was he starting to sound, dare he say, old? Older than Tharin, certainly. "I worry because I may become an obstacle for Thar's future."

"What are you babbling on about?" demanded Rosalie.

"Maybe he'd want different things out of life than I do in the future. Like the type of job, the place he wants to live in… I don't know, everything. He wants to be a diplomat. Can I honestly find a job that lets me follow him around the world? And what if Thar wants a different sort of a guy to settle down with? Someone diametrically opposite of me?"

A shadow progressively grew upon Mia's and Rosalie's faces as Cullen surmised. Finally, Rosalie barked.

"Jesus Christ! You can't think that way! If everyone thought like you did, no one would have the guts to be in a relationship in the whole friggin' world. Everyone would be too busy worrying about the unknown future to make it work with their partners." Cullen saw Rosalie groan. It was a frustrated groan that was most characteristic of her.

Mia calmly intervened, "The question isn't whether he wants different things out of life. It's whether he's willing to work with you to make sure the things he wants align with the things you want. It's that simple."

But Cullen's glum thoughts were stuck to him like a piece of chewed gum. He countered, "I'm saying he may be too young to actually know what he wants now. What if he regrets being with me because he can't pursue what… or who he wants in the future?"

As Cullen's thoughts grew bleaker, Rosalie rolled her eyes extravagantly. "Okay, grandpa. That's plain condescending, you know. Like a twenty-three-year-old man can't make up his own damn mind."

"In no way did I mean to sound condescending. And what he wants in the future may change. Will… change. You don't know."

Rosalie's nostrils flared. She retorted gruffly, "No, I don't know. But everything you've said so far confirms my suspicion that you've been pushing this poor guy away from you. No wonder he's put a break on the relationship."

Cullen scoffed as he shot Rosalie a dirty look. "Oh, so it's my fault that I got dumped?"

Another eye roll. Are her eyes going to fall out of their sockets anytime soon? "Don't be a drama queen. You didn't get dumped, and that wasn't a breakup."

Cullen felt something boiling at the bottom of his gut. He managed to push down the urge to shout and was merely curt. "You know, you're my sister. Shouldn't you be more supportive and, I don't know, nicer?"

"Excuse you, I'm being plenty supportive and nice. I'm stopping you from being the biggest dumb fuck."

"Rosie!" scolded Mia as she put her hand on Rosalie's shoulder.

And Cullen added his opinion, "Well, that's just rude."

"Well, whatever you're doing sure looks like a case of spectacular dumbfuckery from where I'm standing."

It was apparently the time for Mia to cut in. "Okay, children. Try to be civil, won't you?"

Cullen glared at Rosalie, who matched him with her own glare. The siblings were at an impasse. Someone had to flinch and stand down, and it was not going to be Cullen. Despite knowing what an immature look it was on him, he was stubborn and did not want to lose. Not this morning.

Eventually, Rosalie blinked and looked down. She began in a clearly reconciliatory tone, "Cul, you should be more confident about yourself. As much as it gags me to say this as your sister, you're a great guy, and you deserve someone awesome. And even from the limited number of things you've told me about Tharin, he sounds like a real stand-up guy. A catch, if there ever was one."

Mia nodded and appended Rosalie's comment, "Cul, I know you're the strong silent type, but I also know you've got a big heart. You do deserve to have someone great."

Rosalie crinkled her eyes as she probed carefully, "Right. Drop everything that has you doubting. Homophobia, age gap, limited time in Japan, the stupid future."

With a sharp inhale, Mia cut in, "Homophobia?"

To which Rosalie flapped her hand irritatingly, "We're supposed to talk about that later."

"Cul, what is she talking about? Homophobia?"

Rosalie continued, ignoring her older sister, "After you drop everything that's trivial, what do you feel? What do you really want?"

Cullen pondered.

But there was no need to ponder long. It came to him almost immediately.

"I want Tharin."

The Gordian Knot untangled. The answer rendered uncomplicated.

"I just… I want him."

As he stored away the various thoughts and dug out the truth, Cullen stumbled upon an epiphany. The epiphany.

Cullen barely held on to the phone with a suddenly tremorous right hand as he closed his eyes and covered his face with his left. "Oh, God. Mia, Rosie, I think… I'm in…"

"Bingo," said Rosalie smugly as she pointed at her brother with the finger gun gesture. Mia bobbed her head solemnly. Rosalie's self-satisfied grin would have infuriated Cullen if not for the fact that he was completely, utterly flustered.

It was the truth that would keep him awake, that would have him stare out the window in a daydream. The kind that would have him locked in an everlasting struggle with himself unless it was directly conveyed to Tharin.

So, what was he meant to do now?

"What am I supposed to do now?" asked Cullen with a breaking voice.

Rosalie giggled, but without any streak of cruelty. "Well, isn't it obvious?"

On the early morning of Thanksgiving, Cullen's phone vibrated with the reminder to contact Tharin. It apparently came up while he was in the shower, patiently waiting for his action. His reaction. After he finished showering, wiped his body down with his ratty bath towel, and pulled up his briefs, he simply swiped the notification away, to be ignored until later. The undetermined later.

He then checked the weather. Despite having planned a solo excursion to Tokyo, he determined that it was too cloudy.

But it was clear to even himself that he was just making an excuse. The forecast did not predict rain, just general gloominess that accompanied clouds. Cullen nonetheless dawdled.

Why was he feeling like he did not want to leave the barracks? Cullen found the lethargy inexplicable, but there it was. Hanging from his trapezii, dragging him down.

He made himself breakfast and ate as slowly as possible. It took him twenty minutes to finish a plate of scrambled eggs and toast with margarine. It was most un-sailor-like of him. He didn't even touch the cup of black tea he had made until he was done with the food. And instead of leaving the washing up for later, he did them right after, which ate up another five minutes.

While doing the dishes, he had left his phone out on the counter. As he racked the last plate and let the kitchen towel wick away any stray moisture left on his hands, it vibrated. He checked. There were messages from Rosalie. Again.

Happy Thanksgiving eve, bro!

Cullen thought dismissively, Not a real thing.

Have you talked to Tharin? Are you guys back together?

Cullen soughed. He leaned against the sink and unlocked the phone to reply. Too bad he could not convey his terseness over the text messages.

No. It's Thanksgiving Day here, and I'm going out.

Cool! Where to?

The fish market for some sushi. Then a public garden to see fall leaves.

Not to see Tharin?

I haven't talked to him. Nothing's changed.

I told you to stop being a dumb fuck. Call him. Talk to him. Tell him how you feel.

Instead of engaging in a further textual exchange, which was frankly stressing him out, Cullen decided to opt out by leaving a vague, noncommittal answer. He texted, Ok.

Rosalie texted back a string of something, no doubt yelling at him, but Cullen ignored it entirely.

Staying in the barracks now seemed like an impossibly bad idea. He would be occupied with thoughts of talking to Tharin. He just wasn't ready for a difficult conversation. That was the fact.

In a snap decision, Cullen determined, might as well stick to the plan and do some sightseeing today.

At least that way, he wouldn't be a complete liar to his sister.

END NOTE

I hope you liked Mia and Rosalie, sisters extraordinaire!

Next up, Tokyo without Tharin.