The intricacy of electrical engineering belied the simplicity of its principles. They were elegant and well-defined, and Cullen understood them all. Each machine contained within it a set of electronic circuits with distinct components that served clearly specified purposes – capacitors, inductors, resistors, transistors, and so on. And those circuits formed a larger electrical network. Electrons traveled through activated paths like they did the human nervous system and kept the machine operational.

Like the nervous system, the electrical network sometimes broke down. After years of training and practice, Cullen could pinpoint the problem down to a single component and fix any issue with ease. He filled his days on the USS McKee by solving mechanical complications one at a time, and it was predictable but gratifying work. His efforts allowed his ship to communicate with the outside world unimpeded.

But communicating his thoughts and feelings to Tharin in a coherent manner was an entirely different endeavor altogether. There was no clear direction to navigate from the beginning to the end, nor was there a circuit to close or a network to repair.

Cullen only realized this after he began the call. He took a beat, trying to come up with the right way to start. Meanwhile, Tharin's sparkling blue eyes never left Cullen, their intensity conveyed over the phone.

Shakily, Cullen began, "First, I have to apologize to you. I had no right to act so angry or surprised back at Verny Park. It was my issues that overwhelmed the relationship, and you had every right to question my intention.

"In retrospect, I needed the time you gave me. All the things that worried me, that scared me, it took me a long time to realize that I cannot let them be issues that obstruct our relationship. I have to work on them myself, choose to not let them become an issue." Cullen's hand holding up the phone began to wobble. He quickly switched hands.

"And I've thought about what I want." Cullen gasped for a breath. It was like he had been swimming underwater, surfacing for air only for a split second. "I'll be the first to admit, I haven't figured everything out. You've worked out your career path already: you want to become a diplomat, and I know you'll work hard to make that happen. Me, I've become so used to serving in the Navy that I honestly don't know what should come after."

Even a deep breath failed to quiet the fast rhythm ringing in his ears. "I think there definitely should be an after, but I'm not yet ready to leave the Navy. I do want to find a new way to serve the greater good, to be of use in a way that'd be more fulfilling for me. Of course, what that could be is… what I'm unsure about."

Cullen's heart fluttered. "But here's what I do know. I want… I want you, Thar. I want to stay by your side if you'll let me. I don't want this to be casual. I want this to last."

With his gaze directed at Tharin's curved mouth, Cullen asked, "Is that alright with you?"

And Tharin mercifully answered straightaway, comforting Cullen. "Yes. It's what I want, too." A salvation in the form of just six words. "I want you, Cul. As long as you'd have me."

Tharin wiped his eyes with the back of his free hand and sniffled. His voice was low and quivering. "Thanks for coming back to me. I… I was really worried."

Cullen took a hitched breath. "I was always going to come back to you. I had my moments of weakness, thinking that maybe things will be easier for both of us if I simply gave up. But that was never an option for me." From his mouth tumbled heedless words, "Because I–" But Cullen stopped just in time. He could not tell Tharin that he loved him over the phone. "–will never not want you."

Tharin's composure steadily broke down. Even his chuckle had a knot behind it. His free hand once again moved across his eyes. Letting his manifold emotions show, Tharin asked, "I can't wait to see you. When's your next liberty?"

"I think I can secure one on the weekend after this one. I know it's the Thanksgiving weekend, but I wasn't able to get one." Cullen joked, hoping to make Tharin laugh, "A destroyer never sleeps."

But Cullen should have known that he had no talent for humor. Tharin merely smiled a tearful smile. "It's alright. For now, it's enough to be able to see you on the phone." Following another sniffle, Tharin declared, "Okay, I was just about to grab something to eat. And, uh… I could probably use a good cry. Call you back after?"

"Yeah, of course," susurrated Cullen.

"Thanks. I–" I love you, Cullen thought he heard Tharin say it. "I'll talk to you soon."

It only occurred after Cullen hung up that he could have visited Tharin at his place to tell him everything, including how he felt about the young man. Well, what was done was done. Cullen would have to wait for an appropriate moment.

Besides, Cullen was frazzled. It was probably better that Tharin did not see him in this state. And for now, getting back together was plenty.

Cullen sighed happily as he let his body turn limp and flopped on the bed. The rhythmic beats still rang in his ears. He murmured, "Thank God…"

Following their reconciliation, the two men talked for hours every day like they used to. Serious discussions about Cullen's future, about their future; wonky assessments of nuclear capabilities of the top ten economies of the world; various family matters that led Tharin to vent about his father who refused to acknowledge his flourishing personal life as an out gay man; and lighthearted jollity of everyday occurrences at their work. Their conversation topics ran the gamut. And Cullen savored the extraordinary mundanity that Tharin brought back to his life.

It was the Tuesday after their reconciliation. Another mundane night after another mundane workday. Once again, it was remarkable in a way that required no special adjective or descriptor.

Cullen and Tharin debated about the possibility of a Sino-Russian alliance and its potential effect on Article 9 of the Japanese Constitution before the conversation segued into the young man describing the true crime comedy podcast he had been listening to. Eventually, their bedtime approached, and they said their goodnights.

As Cullen finished brushing his teeth, his phone began to emit loud alarms. With his mouth still filled with toothpaste and his right hand holding on to the foamy toothbrush, Cullen stood frozen on the spot.

Three bouts of an ear-piercing siren were followed by an announcement in a cut-glass English accent, "Earthquake." After the first round of alarms, the entire barrack room began to shake. After two more rounds of alarms, the shaking got much worse.

Cullen remembered watching the movie Volcano on television at some point when he was younger. One of those lazy weekend afternoons when nothing good was on. He wasn't sure how his brain decided to latch onto certain memories, but he remembered the characters in the movie jumping toward door frames when an earthquake hit Los Angeles. Safest place, he supposed, and so he did as well.

It was only after he took his position on the threshold of the bathroom door when he remembered he was supposed to take cover under a table instead. Well, the bathroom did not have any place for him to take cover, and Cullen already had made his choice.

Heavy furniture kept banging against the floor. His phone jumped around the bathroom counter like a crazed frog but thankfully did not drop into the sink full of spat out toothpaste. Through the rhythmic thumps, he heard his roommate open the door to his bedroom and shout, "The fuck?!"

The angle was such that Cullen could not see Rylen, but he imagined his roommate trying to walk about the barrack room, disoriented. Cullen yelled at Rylen, "Get under your desk!" He then pushed his hands on either side of the frame to keep his balance and focused his gaze straight ahead on the door to a small hall closet on the other side of the corridor.

The shaking seemed to continue on interminably. But it did eventually abate. When Cullen let go of the door frame and grabbed his phone, he saw that it had been only a minute since the alarm sounded. He wiped his clammy palms on his shirt one by one.

Rylen suddenly popped up with bleary eyes and a sweaty forehead and asked, "Are you okay?"

Cullen answered distractedly, "Yeah. I'm okay. You okay?"

He almost didn't hear as Rylen replied, "Yeah, I'm good." Cullen gazed deeply into the phone's locked screen as adrenaline kept coursing through his veins. It was a photo of Tharin's profile Cullen had covertly taken in Shibuya. It was his favorite picture of his boyfriend. The young man with a soft smile conversing with Dagna and Lace.

Cullen's chest heaved rapidly with no letup and not just because of the adrenaline. He had to make sure Tharin was all right.

He first tried the video call, but it did not even go through. He tried twice more, and then a voice call, but none of them took. The Wi-Fi seemed to be working, but domestic phone calls were apparently no-go.

Hoping for a miracle, Cullen checked his chat with Tharin in the messages app and saw that there was a gray typing bubble. Cullen moved his fingers swiftly.

Hey, are you safe?

Cullen held his breath as the text went through. The typing bubble disappeared for a second only to reappear and expand into a message from Tharin, Yeah, I'm alright. Are you safe?

Cullen breathed a deep sigh of relief. He texted back, I am. Was just getting ready for bed. My roommate and I are both fine.

Good. I would call, but I think calls are out for now.

Cullen paused for a second. Was it too uncouth to use the occasion to indulge his desire to spend even more time with Tharin? Yeah. Just do me a favor and keep texting?

Of course, Cul.

It was simply too easy to type out the reply, I love you. Cellphone manufacturers really ought to make it harder, maybe program the phones so that they would go berserk at the mention of the word love and question incessantly to ensure the person typing was serious. To which Cullen would have answered without any hesitation, yes. Yes, he was serious. But was it the right way to convey his truth?

I love you.

The text cursor blinked at him innocently.

After a prolonged moment of considering, Cullen erased all of it. This wasn't the right time, and this wasn't the right way, he decided.

Instead, he typed a watered-down message in the form of Thanks, you're really the best boyfriend.

After checking Tharin's response, which was Haha, I am, aren't I? Cullen spat the rest of the toothpaste out, rinsed the toothbrush, gargled quickly, and exited the bathroom.

In the kitchen, Cullen saw Rylen in long pink rubber cleaning gloves trying to pick up broken pieces of plates and glasses strewn on the floor. There were more dishes stacked on one side than the other on the drying rack, which resulted in its turning upside down as it tumbled to the floor.

"Get the vacuum. There are shards in the carpet," said Rylen.

As his roommate had requested, Cullen grabbed the vacuum from the hall closet. When he returned to the kitchen, something occurred to him, and he stood frozen in place staring at the broken fragments.

Rylen noticed Cullen staring and stated, "Yup, it's all the big dishes we had. Guess we're eating off paper plates for a while."

Cullen could not care less about the plates. He was staring at a Mister Donut mug with its handle broken into two irregular pieces when he remembered his handleless teacup from Enoshima. Cullen had left it on top of his desk, still wrapped in paper towel. His heart raced again.

"Hold on, I'll be back," muttered Cullen as he hurried to his bedroom.

The teacup was not where he had left. It had fallen from the desk and landed on an empty duffel bag by its side. With his heart beating like a kettledrum, he reached for the mass of coarse paper.

Instead of picking it up, he felt around. The teacup felt intact. As he undid the wrapping, the stone-gray glaze and little flecks of black sand came into the view. It was indeed unbroken.

An idiotic grin spread on his face, and Cullen chuckled when he realized.

If Cullen believed in signs, he would have taken this as a sign. But he didn't believe in signs.

Not at all.

It was Wednesday. A day marked by a flurry of chats about the earthquake. Like for Cullen, it was the first encounter with an earthquake strong enough to be discernible for many American sailors, and there was no shortage of anecdotes related to it.

During the lunch break, Cullen went online and found out that the earthquake originated off the coast of Miyagi Prefecture, the same epicenter of the 2011 Tōhoku earthquake. Thankfully, it was much less severe than the 2011 one. Just enough to rock Tokyo and its suburbs with a magnitude 4.0 quake.

That was enough information about the earthquake for Cullen. He only had so much time during the day, and he had one important date to plan for.

Friday, December 3 was Tharin's birthday, his twenty-fourth. Cullen managed to secure liberty on Saturday, the day after. During the date, Cullen would confess his love.

Even before the earthquake, Cullen had made some vague plan to tell Tharin around the young man's birthday. But everything seemed to come into a sharp focus after the earthquake. His feelings for Tharin and his desire to build a future with him loomed ever larger. And they goaded him on.

At the same time, Cullen could not just confess his love without having some sort of a concrete plan for their future. For someone who was so carefree, Tharin was also a planner. All those dates they had been on, Tharin had planned the details so meticulously. Every single one of them had been imbued with such affection and attention, Cullen knew. What's more, Tharin had a blueprint for his future already in place. And if Cullen were to come up with some half-baked plan that centered solely on his staying by the young man's side, Tharin would certainly not be impressed.

He was interested in foreign affairs and had a good store of knowledge on global security. But what kind of job within the confines of the Navy would align with his interests and knowledge?

Cullen went through a gallimaufry of websites dedicated to Navy enlisted billets, hoping to find something that stood out. After a couple hours, he ran into something that did.

An assignment that was simply perfect for Cullen and his situation. A dream assignment.

As he clicked on the links that led to the contact list for detailers, comprehensive job descriptions, and the qualification criteria, Cullen relished in the feeling of elation. It felt exactly like when he was on a roller coaster that barreled downward, gale blowing against his torso and his core pounding. His body resisting gravity and floating slightly from the seat.

Now, if he could come up with a perfect date, everything would be golden.

After racking his brain for ideas, Cullen ended up going for an uncomplicated course that included a dinner and a visit to the observatory on top of Tokyo Skytree. And of course, he would stop by Tharin's place beforehand. Simple. Elegant. At least that's what he hoped Tharin would think.

On Saturday morning, Cullen was nervous. Rightly so, but unhelpful, nonetheless.

It was reminiscent of the day of their disastrous first date. As Cullen rummaged through his decidedly scant wardrobe, he had a moment of déjà vu that he could not simply laugh away. In fact, he had to stop assembling his date outfit and sit down on the bed to calm himself down.

He thought to himself that Tharin loved him. On this, he had no doubt. This was therefore a low-stake situation. He was nervous because he was putting much pressure on himself to make this date irrefutably perfect. Perhaps it wasn't such a great idea to confess his love the day after Tharin's birthday.

But eventually, he managed to collect himself and endeavored to choose the right outfit. Tharin was waiting for him. That thought alone was enough of a motivation for Cullen to get out of his own head.

He dressed in more formal clothes than usual. It felt like the right thing to do, given the gravity of the confession he was about to make. He wore a lavender blue button-down shirt underneath a gray V-neck sweater. The shirt was tucked into navy-blue chinos. As he examined his ensemble in the bathroom mirror, he realized that Tharin had worn similar clothes on their last date at Verny Park. He huffed a hollow laugh.

As Cullen walked out the front door, he thought rather facetiously, Maybe it doesn't matter what I wear. They're coming off as soon as I get to Tharin's anyways. And he did end up casting off his clothes right away.

Not having had sex with each other for nearly two months, they indulged in it for hours. At first, the pace was harried. But the second round and the third were much more relaxed, as they were ought to be.

The sun had already set, and the midwinter chill had settled heavily across the land when Cullen and Tharin finally walked to Shin-Kawasaki and boarded the Yokosuka Line at 1631. He barely enjoyed the shimmering lights of the city as he went over the evening's course again in his head. Cullen had insisted that Tharin do nothing to plan for the date. Cullen had to be the one to lead today.

At Shimbashi Station, Cullen confidently – or, as confidently as he could bring himself to be – led Tharin to the Asakusa Line subway that transported them to Honjo-azumabashi Station. The elevator door to the exit slid open, and before them lay the shitamachi of Azumabashi, another working-class neighborhood similar to the one they saw back in Asakusa. Except there were far more blocky apartment buildings and fewer office buildings.

The first stop the two would make was for an early dinner. When Cullen called to ask Tharin what he wanted for his birthday dinner, the young man answered without a pause, "Unagi!" After making sure unagi was, in fact, eel grilled in kabayaki style, Cullen set out to find a good restaurant that served eel. It turned out to be easy enough, as one of the best restaurants in the area was located right next to the station.

And so, Cullen and Tharin walked to Jūkichi in brisk steps. Within a minute of exiting the station, they stood in front of the restaurant.

Jūkichi could be described as a hole-in-the-wall, but it was not just that. Cullen never made it to more upscale sushi places in Tsukiji, but he imagined they would have the same aura as this restaurant.

The front entrance was a Japanese lattice door, or rather a modern homage to it made with glass instead of paper. Upon the door hung a midnight blue decorative curtain with what was presumably the restaurant's name in white paint. The wooden nameplate of the restaurant was fastened over the top. A purple bicycle sat next to the entrance.

When Cullen opened the door, he saw that it was indeed a small place. Small, but tidy. It did not feel cramped. There was a bar next to the open kitchen as well as two tables designed for four patrons each. The interior was decorated with dark wood, which only enhanced the aura.

There was another couple at one of the tables and a lone man sitting at the bar, already halfway done with their meals. Cullen had expected a long wait, as one of the English reviews had stated, so it was a pleasant surprise that the place was nearly empty. They arrived there at 1715, so it was admittedly early for supper.

Tharin and Cullen sat at the bar. The owner cum chef was an old man whose face seemed permanently creased in a welcoming smile. The young man greeted the chef in Japanese as they settled in their seats. He bantered with the chef for some time.

Cullen grabbed the laminated menu on the counter as the sound of Tharin and the chef conversing and laughing swathed him. There were three items on the menu in a descending order of pricing: 7,700 yens, 4,100 yens, and 3,600 yens.

Tharin inhaled sharply and turned to Cullen. "What's with the prices?!"

Cullen knew the birthday dinner would be expensive. After all, he had done his research for this date, so he was unmoved. He nonchalantly spoke, "Don't worry about it."

"I should pay for half. Or my share."

He slowly shook his head. "Nope, not happening. This is your birthday dinner, and I'm buying."

"You sure?"

"I insist."

"Well, then…" Tharin flipped the menu over. He hummed, "At least let me pay for the drinks. We can get a fancy one."

They ended up ordering two medium boxes of kabayaki eel on rice coming in at 4,100 yens each and two small bottles of Kamimatsu at 1,400 yens each. The drink was artisanal sake with no added alcohol, just lightly polished rice. Tharin grabbed the bottles from the drink refrigerator next to the bar as the owner handed Cullen two glasses.

Afterwards, the chef skinned and prepared the eel for the grill, and Tharin explained in an amused tone, "You know, I actually used to hate seafood. It seems unimaginable now, but I hated everything that had to do with it.

"My high school Japanese teacher took my class to a Japanese restaurant when I was a freshman. She said I should try unagi kabayaki. Wasn't sure what it was, but I ordered it."

Tharin chortled. "The food came, and only then did I realize it was fish. I mean, what could I do? Takahashi-sensei was staring at me with such an expectant face, I tried a piece. And that was it.

After Tharin took a sip from a glass two-thirds full of sake, his tone became pensive. "I told my dad what happened, and he took me to the same restaurant for my birthday. We both got huge bowls of unagi and stuffed our faces. For next three years, we went and got the same thing for every birthday, mine and my dad's.

"I still love ōtoro. It's my favorite. But it doesn't have the emotional pull for me that unagi does. I don't know. Unagi makes me both happy and sad. I guess setsunai applies here too."

Cullen's right hand reached for Tharin's left forearm. When they made contact, Tharin put down his sake glass and let the fingertips touch. Cullen asked, "Are you alright?"

"Yeah. I'm always good when I'm with you," said Tharin earnestly.

Cullen playfully teased Tharin's pinky as he said in a low voice, "I'll get you more unagi next year for your birthday. And the one after that. And the one after that too. And more."

Tharin's face glowed. Cullen looked around before lifting Tharin's hand to place a discreet kiss on its back.

A lull followed, but it was not uncomfortable. Still, Cullen's throat was parched. He drank a huge gulp of his sake. The alcohol did not help at all, but he had to begin. He was too antsy to wait any longer.

"So, since I brought up the future… I have exciting news on that front."

Lifting his sake glass once again, Tharin glanced and asked, "Oh, what is it?"

"I found a job I want after my sea duty ends." Cullen stopped for emphasis. His glee was such that he had to suppress an urge to enfold Tharin in a bear hug as he told him everything. "Working for the Defense Attaché Office. As a naval attaché."

Tharin was predictably surprised. "Oh, wow. Okay. I mean, I knew military attaché was a position available at an embassy, but what would you be doing exactly?"

Cullen absentmindedly ran his knuckles against his stubbled chin as he explained. "Well… Since I'm not a commissioned officer, I won't be able to become a Senior Defense Attaché. But I would be able to work as an operations coordinator. Oversee military operations that relate to the embassy, manage personnel, collect data, and interact with the host country government, that kind of stuff."

"That sounds super exciting!" And then Tharin cocked his head as a cloud seemed to pass over his visage. "Potentially dangerous, but exciting!"

Cullen was too thrilled to care about the danger, whatever that may comprise. "I know! The danger will depend on where I'm posted, but it doesn't matter. I don't think I've felt this excited about a job for some time." He raised his hands and shrugged. "Not to say I'm bored being an ET. Still, you helped me realize that I want to do more than just follow the Navy's orders."

Trying to sound at least half-articulate as he expressed his thoughts was more difficult than it ought to be. But Cullen tried his hardest. "I've become so used to just going through Sea Shore Flow. Sea duty for a few years, shore duty for another few years wherever the Navy told me to go. But this will be different. I'll be charting my own course, so to speak."

But Tharin's face darkened even more. "Are you doing this just for me?"

It was not a leap for Cullen to expect the conversation to head this way. But he hoped that his enthusiasm about this job would carry through. "No, Thar. I want this job for myself. You know international politics is my passion, just like you.

"It's true that I always considered keeping up with foreign affairs as a hobby for myself. Something to distract me when electrical engineering got too monotonous. But having met you, knowing how far you've planned ahead, I see new possibilities for me.

"If I manage to become a naval attaché, it will be a great opportunity for me to evaluate whether I have any future in foreign affairs after the Navy. Who knows, maybe I'll be in a position to support you as you rise through the ranks in the State Department."

Nevertheless, Cullen faced away and added sheepishly, "I won't lie. Being able to stay with you when you start your career as a diplomat is an important motivator for me. I want to make that happen, to make us work."

Cullen stared at the chef grilling the eels. The movements were practiced and lissome. The smell of sweet soy sauce spread through the air. He reached for his nape before becoming aware of his tell. Instead, he lowered his hand, locked his fingers, and tapped his thumbs together.

He continued in a subdued tone, "I mean, there's only a slim chance that we would get posted in the same country. And honestly, we'll both have to go through really tough selection processes."

A quick breath before he listed off even more negative things. "And, most importantly, working as an attaché would be a temporary solution. My shore duty at an embassy would last three years, and after that, who knows where I will be stationed. We'll have to worry about staying together again…

"But this is the best solution to the immediate problem of relocation that I could come up with."

Cullen turned back toward Tharin, not sure what to anticipate. "What do you think?"

The young man's gaze was firmly planted on his sake glass. He spelled out the words delicately, "Well, it is a lot."

It did not seem at all encouraging, the restrained reaction Tharin was showing. Cullen wondered if things were not going as he had envisioned. He hoped he didn't sound too disheartened as he said, "Sorry. I'm being way too intense. And maybe I just reminded you of all the obstacles we would have to overcome, but Thar…"

Part of Cullen brooked no disagreement as it spurred him to go for broke now. This was it. "I want nothing more than to stay with you as long as I can. Forever, if possible. Because I'm–"

And then nothing. Cullen was disrupted by the gregarious chef. His friendly smile never wavered as he quite loudly proclaimed something and reached over the counter to lay wooden boxes and bowls of broth down in front of the two men. Tharin bowed lightly, thanking the man.

No, this was better. Cullen told himself that he was not entirely keen to do it right away anyhow and that he was relieved. It wasn't at all a letdown. The dinner was a good distraction. For now.

They opened the lids and admired the lustrous look of the eel on rice. When Cullen picked up his chopsticks, Tharin began to speak calmly, "I didn't mean to act weird about your news. I just needed to digest it. You becoming an attaché is such a good idea. I'm so excited for you, Cul! And so proud. Us working together at an embassy would be… seriously awesome."

Cullen's voice quavered as he disclosed, "I… wanted to have something good to tell you for your birthday." He lowered his chopsticks as both men turned toward each other. Tharin beamed unreservedly. And Cullen was able to reciprocate.

"Thanks for my birthday present."

The word present made Cullen break out in a full panic. He had forgotten to get a present. Strike one. He balled his hands in fists, feeling his expression cracking and not sure what to do about any of this.

But Tharin clutched his right hand under the bar counter and said earnestly, "You telling me about your future plan is more than enough for a birthday present." With his other hand, the young man raised his sake glass. And Tharin's benevolent gesture and words soothed him.

Cullen clinked his glass against the raised glass. He whispered, "Happy twenty-fourth, Thar."

After their sumptuous celebratory dinner, the two men walked down the wintry shitamachi streets to Tokyo Skytree.

But the entrance of Skytree had been mobbed by couples on their weekend dates. The line was backed up to nearly outside the huge glass doors, making the wait time unfathomably long.

Cullen felt disappointment seeping into his face. Thom Rainier did not leave the base with him today, and he had to be back by 2200. He and Tharin could ill afford to spend the time waiting around for the crowd to clear up. And this line was just to the ticket counter. What would the wait be like when they actually tried to go up to the observatory?

As Cullen rapidly considered various options, which frankly did not include any innovative alternatives, he felt a tug on his right arm. He turned to find Tharin's lips slightly upturned.

"I think we should just leave."

Cullen heaved a deep sigh as his heart lurched. Strike two. It was the young man's birthday, and his foolproof ideal date plan fell far short of the perfection he had hoped for. He reached out to grasp Tharin's left hand and whispered, "I'm so sorry." The back of his nose stung. He squeezed shut his eyes.

And Tharin was relentlessly thoughtful. "Honestly, I'd prefer to take a walk around the block than trying to get to the top. I went up the Tokyo Tower twice. That counts as one Skytree, right?"

After staring into the young man's soft visage, Cullen conceded, "Alright. Let's just go." He could not help but feel like an absolute failure.

If it took a lot of effort to wait in the line, it certainly took as much an effort to get out of it. There seemed to be waves of people, and Cullen and Tharin had to swim through them as they neared the exit. But eventually, they made it back outside.

The throng thinned as soon as the two men crossed the narrow street to the other side. The sidewalk abutted a park that extended to both sides of a small canal. They only had to walk a few feet before they found the ashlar stairs that led down to the park.

If the sidewalk seemed pleasantly devoid of crowds, couples or otherwise, the park was entirely deserted. No wandering souls but the two men. And there was unexpected delight that came with the knowledge that they were free to do as they pleased. They could stroll down the walkway arm in arm, hand in hand… Maybe even indulge in kisses without furtively looking around first.

Perhaps it was better that they did not make it to the observatory after all. This may be a better place to tell Tharin how much he meant to him. Cullen's deflated mood began to pick up as the realization sunk in.

The canal was lit up with LED lights that changed colors. As they walked, their eyes were filled with all sorts of neon hues. But the lights did not feel showy or gaudy. With Tharin beside him and Cullen just moments away from confessing his love, even the most garish thing would have looked refined and understated. The young man's company had that kind of unspoken power.

After walking silently side by side with their hands conjoined for a few minutes, Tharin came to a gradual stop and leaned forward on the railing that bordered the canal. With a soft grin, Tharin began to reflect, "Josie was wrong about the Tokyo Tower, you know? I mean, Skytree's nice and all, but the Tower represents so much more than just an amalgamation of steel and concrete."

Intrigued, Cullen inquired, "What do you mean?"

"The Tower was built in 1958 when Japan was just getting out of lean years following the war. To the Japanese, it was a physical manifestation of their desire to rebuild their society to be more democratic, more prosperous. They wanted to eschew the version of their nation that invaded other countries. I think there was this sense of optimism that's actually really American.

"It really makes me love the Tower. It's more than just a building. There's a lot of affection and memories infused in it that Skytree just doesn't have."

Tharin sounded wistful. And Cullen could not resist pecking a little kiss on the young man's cheek. "How do you know all this?"

"A college course on Japanese social history. I ended up getting a B+ though," admitted Tharin as he blushed. "I know I'm being… extra. I just love history."

"No, no. Don't apologize. I like listening to anything that interests you. Sometimes, I can't believe how much you know." Cullen chuckled before adding, "My boyfriend's a genius."

Tharin chortled as well. "No, I'm really not."

They never let go of each other's hands. Somehow, the cold did not bother Cullen.

Tharin caressed Cullen's knuckles as he cautiously continued, "I might have been babbling because I'm nervous. I wanted to ask, what happened? After I… decided that we needed a break, what'd you do?"

With his free hand, Cullen rubbed his neck. "I talked to my sisters. I came out to Mia, by the way. Not by choice, but still…"

Cullen's traitorous heart sped up. He cleared his throat, attempting to ensure that it did not crack as he spoke. "I want to thank you again. You recognized that I needed time to sort out my issues. Obviously, I haven't sorted them out entirely, but I've at least begun." As he gathered momentum, he added, "But at the end of the day, you make me happy, and I make you happy. That's the most important thing. It took me way too long to get there, but I finally accepted that simple truth."

It was when Cullen breathed in to prepare himself that Tharin cut in. It was particularly anticlimactic as the young man turned to face Cullen, and Cullen did so as well. Tharin began, "Cul, all this time, I wanted to tell you that I…"

Cullen's free hand hastily moved on top of Tharin's shoulder, gripping it. "Wait, stop!"

Tharin grimaced. "Oh. Alright."

Feeling like a top spinning out of control, Cullen stumbled, "I mean, no. Don't stop. God, I'm being such a fool. I don't mean to stop you from saying what you want to say. I just… planned to say it first."

"…You mean?"

"Thar, I'm crazy about you. It's not an exaggeration when I say coming to you feels like coming home. I…" Cullen deeply inhaled the cold air that seemed to reinvigorate his whole body. Along with the truth, it grounded him.

"I love you."

He would have liked to sound less trite, more suave. But Cullen was Cullen. Nothing would change that. Tharin loved even the most awkward and painfully self-conscious part of Cullen, and he himself had to accept that part.

With his back straight and his eyes clear, Cullen repeated, "I am… in love with you, Tharin Trevelyan."

There was a hint of surprise floating on Tharin's visage, which promptly dissolved into a gentle smile. "Can I speak now?"

"Yes, o-of course."

"I love you, Cullen Rutherford." Tharin let forth a laughter. "I wanted to say it all along. Ever since we got back together after Yokohama. I wanted to say it so much."

When they got back together after Yokohama… That was back in September. Cullen calculated the months between their excursion to today. After he realized how long it had been, how long Tharin had had to wait, he soughed and let his head fall. His forehead smacked on Tharin's right shoulder. The spot began to throb immediately. "Will you forgive me?"

"For what?"

Cullen felt Tharin's left hand stroking the side of his face. He sighed again. With his head still firmly connected to the young man's shoulder, Cullen clarified, "For making you wait three months to say that. Christ, I waited less than two weeks, and I thought I'd burst. Every time I saw you, I talked to you, I just wanted to tell you."

Cullen wrapped his right arm around Tharin and gave a firm embrace that lasted for a good five seconds. Lifting his face and gazing at Tharin, Cullen added, "I know I haven't been all that dependable these past few months. I've just been mired in my own issues. But I want to do better."

As they broke from the embrace, Tharin began to explain in a sheepish voice, "I'll be honest, I got really scared back in Harajuku. There I was, about to tell you how much in love I'm with you, but you brought up how the age gap is going to mess with our relationship. I didn't want to believe it, but my brain kept saying that you didn't want to be with me…

"And then you scared me when you called to tell me what you wanted. I was half-sure you were going to break up with me. You're too honorable to break up through texts." Through the illuminations, Cullen noticed Tharin tear up.

Cullen felt an unanticipated pang in his heart. He gritted his teeth as he regretted his past actions. But his regretting was helpful to nobody. All Cullen could do now was to do better, to make sure he did not break Tharin's heart again. "I'm so sorry for everything. You must know, scaring you or making you feel bad is the last thing I want to do."

"I know." Tharin quickly wiped the tears away. There was joy in his face. "Because you love me."

Only the truth.

The unadulterated joy in Tharin smothered the glowing ember of regrets within Cullen until it was naught. Cullen was able to crinkle his eyes before professing his truth once again with absolute conviction.

"Because I love you."

And a kiss, the sincerest, the most ardent kind, confirmed it for each other.

They were home.

END NOTE

Standing in a doorway is no longer an advisable course of action during an earthquake. Instead, follow the "Drop, Cover, and Hold On" rule: drop onto your hands and knees, cover your head with one arm, and try to take cover under a table or a desk, as Cullen told Rylen to do. Hold the position until the earthquake subsides. Stay safe!

I hope you enjoyed the fic! The following four chapters (the first of which will be posted on Sunday, September 19) are epilogues that show how Tharin and Cullen's relationship develops further. And here's me hyping up the last epilogue chapter and the actual finale!