Day 3 -Lizzy
The first thing Lizzy realizes when she wakes up it's that she's overslept. She sits up on the bed and curses, then remembers her sister is still sleeping right next to her, and curses to herself silently.
"Lita, Lita, hey, wake up, we're running late, c'mon, up, up!" she shakes the sleeping girl.
Lita rolls in bed and rubs her eyes.
"I don't wanna…" she says groggily.
"C'mon, we're late! I'm going to wake up Juan."
Lizzy runs to the living room and wakes up her brother, telling him the same thing. Once she's sure he won't go back to sleep, she rushes off to take a shower.
"Are we going home today?" is the first thing that Lita asks Lizzy once she's done with the shower. It breaks Lizzy's heart a little bit. Truth be told, she was kind of hoping Lita would have forgotten about the night before. Evidently not.
"No," says Lizzy. "We're going somewhere that's even better, we're going to school!"
At this, Lita's face cheers up. "We're going to school?" she exclaims. "Yay!" she throws her fists in the air in celebration.
"Yes, we are, but we're running late so hurry up and get dressed."
"Is Mommy driving us?" she asks.
"No, we're walking, so hurry up, okay?"
"Okay," says the little girl as she rushes off to get ready.
The rest of the morning is a whirlwind as Lizzy struggles to get herself and her siblings ready in time for school. Juan is almost a non-issue -he gets dressed and eats his cereal with little prompting, but Lizzy has to plead with Lita to get her to do things fast. By the time they finish, the whole apartment looks like a pigsty, with clothes and pieces of food scattered everywhere.
Once they're finally on their way to school, it's Lita the one that slows them down then too.
"Lita, c'mon, for the third time, leave the flowers alone and hurry up!" pleads Lizzy.
The little girl opts for picking the flowers and taking them with her as she runs to re-join her siblings.
"The school is just around the corner, c'mon guys, Mom should be there by now."
"Mom is coming?" asks Lita excitedly.
"Yeah, she is! So we have to hurry because she's had a long night and probably wants to go home to sleep."
Lita frowns for a moment but her attention is immediately taken by the school building appearing in front of her, one she does not recognize.
"What's that?" she asks.
"That's your school," says Lizzy.
"But that's not Harding," she moans.
"It's your new school! Isn't it exciting? C'mon, keep up."
Lizzy takes Lita's and Juan's hands and hurries the kids along toward reception, and Lita doesn't get a chance to reply.
The new school is definitely not Harding, alright. The walls are a deep brown, as if they haven't been washed in a while, wire fencing surrounds the building and the playground is all concrete.
When they get to reception, the first thing Lizzy notices is that Carla is nowhere to be seen.
"Hi, I'm Lizzy Viara and I'm here to help register my siblings for school. Is my Mom around here somewhere, do you know?" she asks the woman at the desk.
"Who's your mother?"
"Carla Viara. We were supposed to meet here 20 minutes ago but I was running late. Is she in the restroom or something?"
"Hmm, let me check the records," the woman says as she taps on the keyboard. "No, sorry, honey, no Carla Viara in the visitor's log. You can check the restrooms if you want, just down the corridor to the right."
"Cool, great, thank you." Lizzy turns to her siblings. "Okay guys, see those chairs? Go sit over there while I look for Mom, alright?" she points to the waiting area and both Juan and Lita comply.
Lizzy checks the women's restroom, but it's empty. Weird. Maybe Carla is running late after all. She joins her siblings by the waiting area.
"Where's Mom?" asks Lita when Lizzy joins them.
"I think she's on her way," says Lizzy.
"You said she was here already."
"I think she's running late. Not to worry, she should be here soon."
"She's really coming?" asks Lita.
"You bet she is. But we have to wait for her quietly, okay? Let's not disturb the nice lady at the desk."
While they wait, Lita plays with the flowers she picked, while Juan sits silently, simply staring at the walls. Lizzy tries to talk to him for a bit, but gives up after a few one syllable answers from him.
Half an hour later, and Lita is growing restless. Lizzy decides to text Carla, something she'd been trying to avoid doing. She clearly has no other choice.
"Where is Mommy?" asks Lita, for what feels like the hundredth time.
"I told you, she's coming."
"I'm bored!" complains the little girl.
"Well once we register you in this school, you'll be able to join your class and play with new classmates, okay?"
"I don't want new classmates, I want my old classmates," she moans.
"Don't worry, you'll make new friends!" Lizzy tries to cheer her up.
"I don't want to make new friends! I want to see my friend Paige."
"Paige doesn't go to this school, but now you do."
"I don't wanna go to this school!" complains Lita, crossing her arms in front of her. "I want to go to Harding, I want to see my friends, I want to see Miss Stevenson!"
"Lita! Ya, cálmate. Sit back down and be nice," growls Lizzy. She doesn't wait for a response, and instead goes up to the desk again.
"Hey so, I don't know where my mom is, so I'm wondering if I can register my siblings by myself?"
"How old are you, hon?"
"15."
"Sorry dear, it needs to be a parent or guardian over the age of 18," the receptionist says.
"Okay, but can I maybe pre-register them or something while my mom comes?"
"Sorry, I can't let you do that, hon. Your mom needs to be here for that."
"Could my siblings go to their classes while I wait for our mom to come?"
"No, sorry, I can't let you do that, either."
"But she'll register them when she comes! Please. I don't want them to miss a day of school. Please, I'll be here the whole time. My mom probably finished her shift late but she should be here soon, please just let them go to their class," she pleads.
The receptionist looks at her and gives her a sad smile. "Honey, I would love to do that, but I can't. Rules are rules. If you say your mom will be here soon then just wait for her. First period has already started so best to wait for second period anyway."
Defeated, Lizzy joins her siblings in the waiting area again. She checks her phone. No response from Carla. She doesn't respond to Lita's incessant requests to go home, inquiries as to the whereabouts of 'mommy', or declarations of boredom. Instead, what plays on her mind is that something bad must have happened to Carla. Because she wouldn't do this to her, right? She promised she'd be here. They had plans. She knew how important this was, she wouldn't miss it, right?
But something doesn't sit right with her, so after almost two hours of waiting, she decides to call it quits and go home. While Juan is complacent, as usual, Lita complains the whole way back. And Lizzy barely has the headspace for it.
...
Thirty minutes later, they're finally back home. Carla is nowhere to be seen. While Juan rushes off to watch TV, Lita complains that she's hungry.
"Of course you're hungry," says Lizzy. "You barely ate your cereals this morning!"
"I didn't want cereals, I wanted pop tarts like I have at home." Lita crosses her arms in front of her.
"Well, there're no pop tarts here, okay?" Lizzy snaps.
"Well I don't like it here!" complains Lita.
Lizzy ignores her sister's statement and instead walks over to the fridge. "Let me see what we have that you can eat."
She rummages through the fridge but the only thing she can find is yesterday's leftovers. It will have to do, she thinks.
She serves portions for herself, Juan and Lita and heats them up in the microwave.
"Juan, Lita, lunchtime, c'mon." She beckons them over once the food is done.
Juan and Lita join her in the kitchen. While they sit at the table, Lizzy opts to eat standing up.
"Dale pues," she says to her sister after she notices Lita is not eating.
"I want potato chips," says the girl.
For a moment, Lizzy is thrown. When was the last time she heard Lita ask for potato chips? Five, maybe six months ago? She remembers Lita struggling to eat anything but potato chips in their early days with the Wagners. But if she's not mistaken, somehow the Wagners had worked on that and got Lita to start eating normal food. So why is she asking for chips again?
"Lita, we don't have potato chips. You gotta eat your food. C'mon," she says.
"No."
"Lita."
"I WANT POTATO CHIPS!" shouts Lita.
"Hey! Stop that!"
"I WANT POTATO CHIPS!"
"LITA! Eat this or I'll throw Potato Chips out the window."
"NO! I DON'T WANNA!"
"LITA!"
"NO!" she screams as she throws the plate with food on the floor.
Lizzy is about to respond when they hear the door open.
"Mom?" she calls out.
While she's distracted by the door, Lita takes the opportunity to grab her doll, Potato Chips, and run to the bedroom.
"Hey," says Carla as she closes the door behind her.
Lizzy notices she doesn't look good. She looks tired, and exhausted, and… not present.
Almost like she's…. But no. It can't be, because she's been clean for months, right? Lizzy shakes her head. It must be all the exhaustion from her night shift. Still, she can't help the anger that boils in her stomach at her mom's no-show this morning.
"Mom, where the hell have you been?!"
"My shift ran a little late, no big deal."
"No big deal? We waited for you in the school for two hours!" she exclaims.
"That was today? Oh." Carla rubs her forehead. "Well they'll just go tomorrow, no problem."
"No problem? Juan and Lita missed their first day of school!"
"So what, they'll just go tomorrow! Look mija, I'm tired. Just let me sleep, alright?" Carla drops off her things and heads to the bedroom, leaving Lizzy speechless.
"Lita, get out, I wanna sleep," says Carla as she walks into the room.
"I wanna play here," says Lita.
"No, vete, c'mon. Go." She points to the door.
"I wanna play here!" moans Lita.
"QUE TE VAYAS, TE DIJE!" Carla snaps. She grabs Lita's arm and drags her out of the room while the little girl kicks and screams.
Lizzy stands frozen in place. She'd forgotten about moments like these when their mom used to lose her temper back before foster care. Out of the corner of her eye, she notices Juan has covered his face with his hands.
When Carla closes the door to the room, Lita kicks it with all her strength. "I HATE HER!" she screams. "I WANNA GO HOME!"
This prompts Lizzy to move again. She goes over to Lita and leads her away from the door, but when she turns, she notices her little brother is crying silently.
"Juan, hey, shh, it's okay." She takes a deep breath. "Look, let's grab our jackets and go get some McDonald's, okay?"
Juan whimpers but nods.
"And can I have potato chips?" asks Lita.
"Sure, you can have potato chips."
...
When Lizzy pays for the food at the fast-food restaurant, she notices her cash is already starting to run low. What with the food on Saturday, the ice-creams on Sunday and today's food, she's spent way more than she had intended. She hadn't realized how expensive feeding four people can be. As she puts down the tray of food and joins her siblings on the table, she thinks about what she will need to survive going forward. A job, that's for sure, but probably one where she can work every day after school the maximum hours, and all-day on weekends. She can make this work. She just needs to stop buying takeout food. And maybe they need to stay in their apartment a little bit longer. If she buys an extra bed from Goodwill, Juan and Lita won't have to share. They can convert a section of their living room into a bedroom for one of them, and that way it won't feel so cramped. She can save up a bit, and once she turns 16 and can work a bit more, they'll be able to move into a two-bedroom apartment.
Lizzy sighs. She needs to talk to Carla about all this.
A couple hours later, Lizzy, Juan and Lita head back home. While Juan managed to eat some chicken nuggets, Lita mostly ate a bag of chips and a few bites of Lizzy's cheeseburger. But Lizzy just didn't feel like arguing with her anymore. Once they get back, they find Carla on the living room couch, looking a lot better than in the morning, and with an apologetic look on her face.
"Hey. I'm so sorry about before. I was just so tired." She turns to Lita. "I never meant to shout at you like that mi amor. I'm sorry. You forgive me? Look, I got you something." She takes out a box with a barbie doll inside, one of the cheap $4 ones they sell at Walmart.
"Lita, what do you say? Your mommy got you a barbie!" says Lizzy.
But Lita frowns. She takes the box from Carla and throws it across the floor. "My mommy already got me a pretty barbie, and she's body positive!" She runs to her toy suitcase and finds the latest barbie Ellie had bought for her. When she finds it, she takes it out and runs to the bedroom, hugging the doll close to her.
Carla looks hurt, and Lizzy feels extremely embarrassed.
"She's just angry, don't worry," says Lizzy to Carla. "She'll be playing with that new doll in no time."
"Listen, I'm sorry about this morning. My shift ran late and I forgot today we had agreed to register the kids. I'm so sorry. But I don't have a night shift tonight so we can go tomorrow morning and get them registered, okay?"
Lizzy gives her a smile. "Okay."
She's still a little hurt from this morning, especially at the fact that Carla never bothered to reply to her texts. But she decides to forgive her anyway, because she's their mom, and she knows she loves them. These are still early days for all of them. Carla is learning how to be a mom again, and yeah, maybe she'll stumble a little, but together they can overcome anything. Tomorrow they will all try again. Hopefully it will be a better day.