Chapter 1

New School Year

Gobbles and Fizz were the best of friends, and had been so for as long as they could remember. They lived next door to each other and would always play and talk whenever they had a chance. They wanted to be together all the time, but they couldn't be, mostly because at school they always had different home rooms. Both boys hoped this year it would be different.

Here School's cafeteria was crowded with students coming in for the new school year, and all of the kids were crowded around to see what items they would have to bring to school and what home room teachers they would get. Everyone wanted one of the cool teachers, like the art teacher or the gym teacher. Gobbles would have probably been satisfied with the lunch lady, since eating was his favorite thing in the whole world.

"I got Mrs. Pomp!" They heard one girl exclaim.

"That poor kid," Gobbles whispered to Fizz.

"What's wrong with Mrs. Pomp? Isn't she the English teacher?" Fizz asked, "I like English class."

"She's an okay teacher, even if she is a little flaky. The problem is she gets really mad when kids are late for class. I hope I don't get her."

"I just hope we're together," Fizz replied, "Last year I had to sit next to It's A Bully. Seriously, his parents were just setting him up for failure with a name like that. I think I'd be angry too if my mom took one look at me and said 'Yep. It's a bully'."

Gobbles laughed and snorted at the same time, and slapped Fizz on the back. Both boys were looking forward to 3rd grade, but they also both knew that Here School had some strange people attending, not to mention teaching. Even the principal, who was generally a very boring and strict man, seemed to have a hollow look in his eyes; as if the very life had been drained out of him long ago. That was one reason why Fizz didn't feel comfortable around anyone else at school besides Gobbles.

After several minutes of pushing and shoving, the two boys got to the front of the line to see who their new home room teachers would be. Fizz noticed his first, and it was...

"Aw man, Mrs. Pomp!" Fizz whined, "I think we jinxed it. I'm always late. Who did you get?"

"It's worse. It's much worse," Gobbles said ominously, "I got Mr. Baldi."

"Mr. Baldi? The guy who led last year's field trip? What's wrong with him?"

"Everything..." Gobbles' voice seemed to echo as he spoke those words, "There are so many rumors about Mr. Baldi that they could fill up a whole notebook! I heard he kills kids by cutting off their heads with his ruler. Some say it's for fun, and others say he eats the kids. You say anything bad about math or get a problem wrong, and he'll kill you!"

"I heard he wears lipstick," Another boy said from behind them.

Both boys turned to see who had interjected themselves into their private conversation, and collectively sighed when they saw it was Beans. Beans was such an annoying kid. He was always spitting out his gum whenever he tried to blow bubbles. Gum wasn't even allowed in school, yet for whatever reason Beans never got in trouble. Somehow that made him even more annoying.

"Go away, Beans!" Gobbles yelled, "We don't wanna see your stupid gum trick!"

"I wasn't gonna!" Beans replied defensively, "So, which one of you got stuck with Mr. Baldi?"

"Gobbles did. I got Mrs. Pomp," Fizz told him.

"Yeah, well you're both doomed," Beans stated, "I think I got Mr. Kaboom, the science teacher."

"Aw man, that sounds so cool!" Fizz exclaimed, "I heard Mr. Kaboom is nice."

"I hope you're right," Beans said, "And I hope Mr. Baldi and Mrs. Pomp don't kill you guys and turn you into shoes. Bye!"

Beans then went off and found someone else to bother, and Gobbles and Fizz were left to stare after him.

"Shoes?" Fizz ventured to ask.

"I have no idea what he's talking about," Gobbles replied, "Let's just hope we survive the school year. I'm sorry we aren't in the same class again."

"That's okay. We can see each other after school," Fizz reassured his friend, "Hey, you got a quarter? I could really go for a Bsoda."

"Sorry, I'm tapped out," Gobbles said apologetically, "Oh, how many notebooks did it say we needed for school this year?"

"I think it said seven."

"Seven? Between that and our books our backpacks are going to be so heavy! I won't have any room for my Zesty Bars!"

"I know," Fizz harrumphed, "I wish school wasn't so strict. Remember back in kindergarten when we had easy work to do, no homework, and all the recess we could ever want?"

"Yeah, but that's kid stuff," Gobbles countered, "We're too big for stuff like that. Now we have to do our homework and worry about serial killers."

"I don't think Mr. Baldi is really a killer," Fizz replied skeptically, "After all, why would Principal of The Thing let him stay if he was?"

"Uh...maybe because he's afraid of getting his head chopped off too?" Gobbles speculated, "I dunno. I just know I'm probably gonna die and be buried behind the school with his other victims. Good luck with Mrs. Pomp."

"Gee, thanks," Fizz rolled his eyes as he spoke, "Anyway, we should find our parents. Maybe one of them will have a quarter for the soda machine."

"Okay, but if you spray me with it again I'm telling my mom," Gobbles warned.

Fizz just laughed it off as the boys walked around the crowded cafeteria in search of their parents. Fizz was glad there were so many people around, since he had always noticed how barren Here School looked when the halls were empty. He had gone to a different school entirely in 1st grade, so he knew that most places were littered with colorful posters and stickers. Some even hung fun phrases along the walls and ceilings like 'You Can Do It' and 'Let's Learn'. Here School however had mostly concrete walls, a few wood panels, and signs telling children about the consequences of misbehaving. Sometimes Fizz wondered if this was what jail looked like.

It was a week later, and the boys had already been going to their new classes for three days. Fizz was surprisingly happy with his experience so far. Mrs. Pomp was a teacher that gave short lessons, minimal homework, and was easy to please. All a kid had to do to make her happy was show up. She was so much nicer than Mrs. Circumstance, Fizz's previous teacher, who had a tongue like acid and seemed to actively hate children. Fizz had been on time every day that week, so his time at school had been pleasant and uneventful.

The one thing that wasn't quite right about the whole 3rd grade experience however was how overworked and stressed out Gobbles seemed lately. He hardly ever called anymore, and he didn't come over. It had only been a few days, but in kid time it felt like an eternity. Fizz missed his friend, and wondered how Gobbles was doing with Mr. Baldi as his homeroom teacher.

On the fourth day, Fizz finally heard from Gobbles, but not in person or over the phone. Gobbles sent an email to Fizz that the boy read after he got home from school. Gobbles sending a message in such an impersonal way felt odd to Fizz, but he read the email in hopes of an explanation.

Hi, Fizz. I left my noteboos at school. I can't go get them, cause I have eating pratice. I don't want to be late. Can you get them for me? Pleese?

Gobbles

Well, that was strange. If anyone else had used eating practice as an excuse to get Fizz to do something he would have thought they were lying. Given how much Gobbles loved to eat however, he could believe it this time.

Of course Fizz wasn't stupid. He also knew that this could still be a lame excuse. He knew Gobbles had been somewhat afraid of Mr. Baldi. Perhaps his friend didn't want to go to school after hours in case his teacher was on a 'killing spree'. Fizz chuckled to himself at that thought. Like a ruler could really take off a kid's head. Yeah, right! Ridiculous.

Still, Fizz wanted to be a good friend, and he wasn't scared of school (even if it was boring). The school wasn't far from his house. He'd just ride his bike there and then go to Gobbles' house with his seven notebooks. Easy.

"Mom, can I go out and ride my bike?" Fizz shouted to his mom in the next room.

"Sure honey, just be home by dark!" His mom replied nonchalantly.

Fizz smiled, thanked his mother, and then ran outside to his shiny red bike. He would get those notebooks back quickly and then be home in time for dinner and cartoons. Maybe he could even catch eating practice with Gobbles. That sounded like a fun evening.

After pedaling for fifteen minutes Fizz made it to Here School. Without the other children around the place felt just as desolate as Fizz remembered. He took a deep breath to get some stamina back, and then entered the wide double doors to the schoolhouse. He just hoped the teacher wouldn't be mad about a kid bothering him after school.

When Fizz entered the building the first thing he saw was a tall thin man with a green shirt, blue pants, a bald head, and possibly the reddest lips he'd ever seen on a man. This was most likely Mr. Baldi. He was standing right in the hallway, blocking entrance to every other room, and Fizz wondered if this was a bad idea.

"Oh, hi," Baldi said amiably when he noticed the new child, "Welcome to my schoolhouse!"

Baldi's arm waved in a jittery unnatural fashion, and he smiled as wide as the Cheshire Cat. He seemed so genuinely happy to see Fizz that the boy calmed down and decided everything was likely going to be fine.

"Excuse me, sir? My friend left his notebooks in the classes he went to today," Fizz explained timidly, "May I please have them so I can give them back to him?"

"Hm...I tell you what," Baldi grinned, "I'll give you back the notebooks, but only if you answer some fun math problems for me. This will be fantastic!"

Fizz sighed. Of course this stupid notebook run couldn't be easy. Mr. Baldi was one of those teachers that didn't seem to have an off button. He wanted to play math games with the only student left in the entire school. Anything for more math. Well, math wasn't the hardest subject in the world, and Mr. Baldi seemed so gosh-darn happy. Fizz meekly nodded, deciding that he could take a slight detour to make a grown-up happy.

Baldi led him to the first classroom, his own room, and presented Fizz with a patented You Can Think Pad, which was a piece of cutting edge technology designed to help kids learn various subjects. The 90s was a great time to be alive.

"Now it's time for everybody's favorite subject: math!" Baldi exclaimed enthusiastically, "Answer all three questions correctly and you might get something special."

Fizz liked the sound of that! All he came for was the notebooks, but if he could get a prize that would be even better. He didn't know why Gobbles was so scared of this guy. Mr. Baldi was a nice teacher, even if he did talk with a slow patronizing drawl, as if he was talking to a preschool student.

"Just type the correct answer into the empty box. Press the ENTER key on your keyboard when you think you have the right answer," Baldi explained as he showed Fizz how to work the pad.

Fizz saw that the first problem was addition, and very easy addition at that. 8+2=...10! The answer was obviously 10, so Fizz typed it in.

"Great job!" Baldi exclaimed.

Fizz smiled back at the eager teacher before turning back to the You Can Think Pad. The next problem was subtraction, and a little trickier. 1-9=? Fizz wasn't used to working with negative numbers all that often, but he still managed to figure out the answer was -8. He typed it in and as predicted, Mr. Baldi was very happy with the results.

"You're doing fantastic!"

Fizz was feeling great, and when he solved the last math problem he felt that the whole thing was too easy. Mr. Baldi also seemed very pleased with the success of his impromptu student, and dug in his pocket to find something to give Fizz.

"Great job, and here's your prize: a shiny quarter!"

Mr. Baldi then handed the silver colored coin to Fizz, and he quickly grabbed it from the teacher's hand. Fizz had never been given money just for doing schoolwork before, and a quarter was enough to buy a soda! If they did this seven times, he'd have enough soda for at least a couple days.

"Thank you, Mr. Baldi!" Fizz said excitedly, "I can't wait to do this again!"

"That's just what I like to hear!" Mr. Baldi replied with equal exuberance, "The second classroom is just across the hall. We can talk through the You Can Think Pad. I'll stay here in my classroom to tidy things up, and you can go across the hall to solve more math problems."

"Yes, Mr. Baldi," Fizz replied politely before setting off for his task.

As Fizz sat down he couldn't help but chuckle to himself again. Gobbles had been so afraid of getting Mr. Baldi's class, and Fizz had been worried about getting Mrs. Pomp as his teacher. As it turned out both were awesome at their jobs. Mrs. Pomp was strict about her expectations, but obeying her meant everything would go smoothly. The rumors about Mr. Baldi were clearly untrue as well. He just loved teaching and wanted to make learning fun. Maybe this year Here School wouldn't be so bad.

The first two problems in the pad were child's play for Fizz. He was already thinking about how he was going to spend his second quarter when he saw the third math problem, and his heart fell into the pit of his stomach.

This...this wasn't math. Fizz wasn't even sure if it came from a human language. It was jumbles of letters and numbers the likes of which he had never seen, and the string of numerical text was so long he wasn't even sure a high school kid could solve it. Was this a prank? Did Mr. Baldi have a sense of humor? That had to be it. No way was this really a math problem.

"Okay, next question!" Baldi said over the pad, "What's BTTTTZZT plus BTTZZZZT multiplied by BBBBTZZZZTT?"

There was so much interference that he couldn't hear what Baldi said. Stupid cutting edge technology! It broke right when Fizz needed it most! Well, there was only one thing left to do. He would have to type in a random number and allow himself to be pranked by the teacher. Maybe if he didn't get mad at Mr. Baldi he would get another quarter.

Fizz typed in the number 223765 by smashing his fingers on the keyboard and pressed the enter key. What happened next sent chills through his veins. The happy face of the math teacher...changed. The red smile slowly fell into a large ugly frown, and Baldi's angry eyes stared directly at Fizz in disapproval and rage. There was a message on the screen.

I HEAR EVERY DOOR YOU OPEN

Fizz didn't know what that meant, but it sounded like a threat. He was a little nervous, but thought he could still explain himself. Perhaps if he showed Mr. Baldi the broken pad he wouldn't get in trouble. Fizz couldn't stand making teachers angry, and really hated it when they looked at him like Mr. Baldi just did. Fizz ran out into the hall to find the teacher, but what he saw was the last thing he expected.

Mr. Baldi was in the hall, his expression still angry, and in his hands was a very large wooden ruler. He smacked the ruler on his hand and stepped closer to Fizz, and then he did it again.

Smack. He stepped closer. Smack. He stepped closer. It was a strange yet terrifying rhythm. Baldi's eyes were cold and he was no longer speaking to Fizz. It was clear now, the teacher was out for blood. His blood.

Fizz did the only reasonable thing a kid in his position could do, and ran. Baldi was blocking the exit, so Fizz had to run deeper into the school. As he darted away Fizz couldn't help but think about how Gobbles had been right all along. His so-called 'friend' knew what Mr. Baldi was capable of and still sent Fizz out alone to get the notebooks. Fizz felt angry, betrayed, and hurt. He would get those notebooks alright, and then set them all on fire out of spite.