Ch. 28 I Don't Know What You Want but I Know What I Need
(JEREMY)
"You know it worries me that the weekend was so calm and quiet," Tyler says, joining us at Elena's locker Monday morning.
"You're not the only one, we don't like it either," I reply.
"I won't be alone today, I won't give whatever it was a chance to grab me," Elena says.
"Yeah, one of us will be with you all day, you have class with at least one of us, and Clare, Bonnie or I will go with you to the washroom. Where is Bonnie?" Caroline asks.
"I haven't seen her yet," I comment getting out my phone. I try calling her but get no answer. "She's not answering, she must be on her way. I have to get to my locker, I'll catch you guys later."
"Be careful Jer," Elena says.
"It's after you not me, besides I have an eternity ring," I comment, flashing my ring.
"Be careful Jeremy," Stefan repeats.
I nod as I walk off going to my locker, get my books and go to class, sitting at my desk and calling Bonnie again. Still no answer, but if her phone is on silent for class and she's with everyone else she wouldn't answer. Other kids start coming into class and I resign myself to thinking I won't see Bonnie until morning break when I get a text.
Bonnie: I need to try something to keep everyone safe. I won't be at school today. I fixed the problem at the house, not the school.
Jeremy: What are you talking about? Try what?
I wait for an answer but don't get one, I grab my backpack and start to leave class but the teacher comes in and orders me to sit down or get detention. Elena and Ric will kill me if I get detention again, but I'm worried about Bonnie. I consider leaving but they'll call Elena and Ric to the office and they'll come after me, possibly putting Elena in danger. I barely get through class, almost making it to my car when my hand is grabbed and I'm abruptly stopped.
"Where are you going?" Clare questions.
"Bonnie texted, she said she was going to try something to keep everyone safe. I'm worried, I'm going over to her house," I tell her.
"Okay, I'm going with you then," she says, letting go of me and begins walking to my car. I open my mouth to tell her no but she's already on the phone, she moved faster than I could see. "Jeremy is worried about Bonnie, I'm going with him to check on her, we'll call if we need you," she says into the phone and hangs up.
"Stefan or Damon?" I ask as we get in my car.
"I called Stefan, if I'd called Damon he would already be on his way here," she says. She's right, Damon would have yelled and got in his car. I drive to Bonnie's but her car isn't here, and I hit my steering wheel in frustration. "Maybe she's at your house," Clare suggests.
I nod and drive to my house, Bonnie's car is here. We jump out to run inside, as soon as we're in I feel the house trembling a little. We run upstairs and hear chanting in Elena's room. I try the door but it's locked, so I start pounding on it.
"Bonnie open the door," I call.
"Jeremy move," Clare says.
I step out of the way and she uses her vampire strength to open the door. Bonnie is levitating above Elena's bed, she's chanting something and there's a sort of dark haze around her. Clare and I stop dead in our tracks and watch for a second. Bonnie doesn't even seem to be aware that we're here. Bonnie says some words I don't understand and her eyes open, there's a glow around her, almost as though she's on fire. Her eyes are glowing an odd black color.
"Jeremy, we have to stop her," Clare says urgently.
"Bonnie stop," I say in a commanding tone as I get on the bed and reach out to touch her.
"No, I have to finish," Bonnie says in a voice that isn't hers.
"Finish what?" I ask her.
"Killing them."
"What? Killing who? Bonnie you need to stop," I say reaching for her.
"NO," she screams and I'm sent flying back into the wall.
"Jeremy," Clare gasps and jumps up. She leaps at Bonnie and attempts to take the grimoire in Bonnie's hand. Somehow Bonnie is stronger than her and manages to hold the grimoire.
"NO LET ME FINISH!" Bonnie screams pulling the grimoire with one hand and holding up another. Clare is hurled backwards hitting the wall and breaking the mirror above Elena's dresser. Clare goes crashing onto the dresser, cracking the top and splintering some wood. Not only does the broken mirror cut her but the wood frame cuts into Clare's neck. Clare starts to move and Bonnie looks over, suddenly shards of wood from the broken mirror and dresser begin to tear off. There's everything from slivers to full size stakes. Bonnie mutters something, moves her hand and they become hazed in a black glowing smoke!
"BONNIE NO," I yell realizing what she's thinking but it's too late, the shards of wood are pulled back and hurled at Clare! One goes through Clare's right palm, the other through her left wrist. A large one through her thigh, and another large one through her stomach, pinning Clare in place. Several smaller ones hit her arms, legs and face! Clare shrieks in terrible pain. "CLARE!" I holler running over to her, she isn't staked through the heart, but she's very hurt. "BONNIE STOP," I scream as I look at Clare, but Bonnie is still chanting.
I take the piece out of Clare's neck slowly, she slumps a little, she's making sounds like it's difficult for her to breathe, though I don't think vampires breath. Even so the sounds are worrisome and Clare looks pale, and in a lot of pain. I remove the large pieces from her stomach and thigh next, she's bleeding a lot. I don't think she'll die, but this is very bad.
"Umre nestati errautsak," Bonnie chants and she's suddenly surrounded in fire, it's so bright I look over at her. The fire flares and then disappears, Bonnie goes down to the bed softly and smiles at me, she looks normal again. "It's done, they're dead, everyone is safe," Bonnie tells me with this satisfied grin and then her nose starts bleeding and she passes out.
"I'm okay," Clare says weakly, coughing a little, "go check on Bonnie."
"You are not okay," I reply pulling the last of the large wood pieces from her flesh. She sinks down to the broken dresser. "I'm going to go check on Bonnie," I tell Clare and she nods.
Going over to the bed I kneel next to Bonnie and wipe the blood from her nose with my sleeve. Bonnie is breathing, just unconscious, but now I notice the book and I pick it up, it's nothing I've seen her use before. It's extremely old, much older than any grimoire or book I've seen Bonnie with before. There's odd drawings and foreign writing. I touch the book and Bonnie's eyes shoot open.
"No don't touch it," she says grabbing the book and holding it to her chest.
"Bonnie this isn't yours, what is it?" I question.
"Powerful, it helped me kill what was after Elena, to put permanent wards on your house. I killed them Jeremy they're dead," Bonnie smiles proudly.
"That isn't your grimoire or your family's tell me where you got it Bonnie," I demand.
"I took if from Nathan when we killed him. I felt the power from it, I wanted it," Bonnie says.
"Nathan Nietzsche? You took a grimoire from someone that was here to siphon life from everyone? Bonnie this is dark magic, you might have killed what was after Elena but you could have killed yourself too. You almost killed Clare," I comment pointing at her. Clare moves to slide off the dresser, she's moving slow, still bleeding, not healing as she should. She slumps off the dresser and crumples to the floor, she's still making gurgling sounds. "Clare," I exclaim running over to her, "she's not healing I need to give her some blood."
"What did I do?" Bonnie asks with regret laced in her voice.
"Bonnie, get me something sharp," I order in a commanding tone and she runs into the bathroom returning with a pair of scissors.
"Jeremy don't," Clare says but I'm not listening. Her plea was garbled and she's very badly hurt. I use the scissors to open my wrist and hold it to her lips. She struggles for a second before grabbing my wrist and taking a couple gulps, then she slaps my hand away. "Anymore and I may not be able to stop myself," Clare says turning away from me and licking her lips. I get out my phone and call Damon while Bonnie rushes back into the washroom.
"Elena okay?" Damon asks when he answers.
"Fine, we're at my house, Clare is hurt and she won't take any more of my blood."
"On my way, I'll call Stefan," Damon tells me and hangs up. Bonnie comes out of the washroom and puts a bandage on my wrist.
"We have to destroy that book Bonnie, it's dangerous. I've never seen you like that before, it's like you were possessed. You once told me using magic took it out of you, black magic takes a piece of you. No more Bonnie, I'm grateful for what you did for Elena but you can never use that book again."
"I know, I'll take care of it," she says grabbing the book from the bed and taking it into the bathroom. I follow her and she tosses the book in the bathtub holding her hand over it. "Aprinde," Bonnie says and the book bursts into flame, in a few moments the book is nothing but ash. Ash so fine we're able to wash it down the drain.
When I turn off the water I hear the front door opening and know Damon is here. When we return to the bedroom he's kneeling next to Clare and looking at her.
"I'm okay," she says.
"Like hell," he growls picking her up, "what the hell happened?"
"It's my fault, I wasn't thinking clearly, I was trying to protect Elena, to protect everyone. I couldn't stop myself, I knew it was Clare, but she tried to take the book and…I just reacted," Bonnie admits.
"What the hell is she talking about?" Damon asks and I hear the door opening again.
"I'll explain later, what about Clare will she be okay? She doesn't seem to be healing like she should," I comment.
"It's the magic, and the very big pieces of wood that were in her, they cut very deep," Damon says.
"What happened?" Stefan asks coming in with Elena and Ric.
"She needs blood," Damon replies, "fresh blood."
"I've already cut my wrist, she wouldn't drink more than a couple gulps."
"Clare," Damon says holding her face in his hand so she'll look at him, "you need to drink from each of them."
"No, what if I can't stop?"
"Stefan and I will stop you before you can drink too much but you have to drink in order to heal. The wood cut deep, very deep, I see the cauterizing from the magic. Without fresh human blood you won't heal properly."
"We want to Clare, let us help," Ric says.
She doesn't say anything, but does nod. Damon sets her on the bed and Ric sits on the other side of her holding his wrist to Clare. She takes his wrist sinking her teeth in and drinking. Before she drinks too much Damon stops her, but it's working she's healing. Each of us in turn let Clare drink from us, except Damon and Stefan as it won't help. She even drinks from me again, by the time she drinks from Bonnie (who went last) Clare is healed and strong again.
"I'm taking Clare home to rest," Damon says.
"I'm okay now, I can go back to school," Clare argues.
"I'm taking you home, you came too close to death. I'm still stronger than you and I will make you rest if I have to tie you to the bed," Damon says in a stern voice.
"Having you tie me to the bed doesn't sound very restful," Clare teases.
Damon growls a little and playfully nips her neck, "We'll get to that later when I'm sure you're back to full strength."
"Damon is right you should rest," Stefan remarks and looks at Bonnie, "you don't look so good either Bonnie, you should go home too."
"I'll take her, the rest of you should go back to school," I speak up.
"The threat is gone Elena, I've made sure of it," Bonnie tells them.
"How?" Ric questions.
"I killed it, it's gone now," Bonnie says. I can see the questions in their eyes, but before they're asked Elena's phone rings.
"Hi Caroline, everyone's okay we're…what?" Elena asks with a slightly horrified look.
"What?" I question.
"The school is being evacuated for fear of a sewage backup and toxic gasses," Stefan informs those of us without super hearing.
"Okay, I'll call you later," Elena says and hangs up. "School is cancelled for the day because of it."
"It's not toxic it's whatever's left of what was after Elena," Bonnie remarks.
"I expect a very detailed explanation, but not right now, right now I'm taking Clare home," Damon says picking Clare up. He runs out with her before anyone can argue including Clare.
(DAMON)
"I'm feeling better, honestly I'm fine now," Clare insists handing me back her empty blood bag.
"Maybe, but you're still going to rest, I'll get you some coffee," I tell her going downstairs. Just as I'm making her coffee the way she likes it I hear a car coming up the drive. It's not Stefan's car, it's Klaus' car, I didn't know he was back in town. I take the coffee mug with me and lean in the doorway, watching as Klaus parks behind my car. "What are you doing here Klaus, it's Monday?"
"I hear school was cancelled, I came to spend time with Clare," Klaus replies.
"You were gone all weekend, that's your time with Clare," I growl.
"I'll get her to school on time tomorrow," Klaus grins trying to move past me but I block him.
"No, she's resting for the rest of the day and that means she's staying here."
"Resting?" Klaus inquires cocking his head to one side. "She's a vampire, why would she need to rest in the middle of the day? Unless…" Klaus says slowly and then suddenly takes the coffee cup from my hand. With his other hand he pushes me away and then he runs up the stairs. I growl and go after him.
"Klaus," Clare snaps at him. I know she heard his car coming up the drive and most of our conversation downstairs, we weren't quiet. "I'm not going with you, I have school tomorrow."
"And, she needs to rest," I add as I grab the coffee cup from Klaus and give to Clare.
"Why do you need to rest? Why do you look pallid?" Klaus questions sitting on the bed next to Clare. "Would the school's closure and your current state have anything to do with Elena's kidnapping this weekend?"
"Yes, but everything is fixed now, and I'll be alright after some rest," she replies.
"Rest, which means you need to go," I assert grabbing Klaus by the shirt and pulling him from the bed. Klaus responds by growling, his eyes narrow ready to fight but Clare grabs his hand.
"Klaus, please I need to rest, and it's not the weekend," she tells him calmly squeezing his hand.
"Very well, I'll let you rest, but I shall pick you up Friday," Klaus responds turning to give her a passionate kiss. "You're mine all weekend," Klaus tells her. He grins at me smugly and then runs out of the house.
"You don't have to spend the weekend with him," I tell her. I sit on the bed crossing one leg over the other, putting an arm around her and idly stroking her arm as she drinks her coffee.
"He'll come to the school Friday, if I don't go he'll get angry, he could hurt Elena or Caroline even."
"Which makes it sound like you don't want to go with him for the weekend," I comment narrowing my eyes at her.
"I didn't say that, my point was if I don't it puts others in danger."
"Which sounds to me like you don't want to spend your weekends with him and only go out of fear, to protect the rest of us. We could go away together this weekend, leave early, before Klaus would come to the school."
She bites her lip, unresponsive at first, and when she speaks she changes the subject. "I'm going to shower," she tells me getting off the bed and going into her washroom. I'm about to follow her when her laptop begins ringing, Adam is calling.
"She's in the shower, Jeremy tell you what happened?" I question knowing he wouldn't be calling so early if he didn't know she'd be home.
"He texted me, said Clare was hurt and she'd be home. Is she okay? I know she's a vampire but you can still get hurt."
"She'll be fine after some more blood and rest. Bonnie used dark magic to protect Elena, Clare and Jeremy got hurt trying to stop her. The humans gave her some of their blood and I brought her home. Klaus stopped by he wanted to take Clare to his house. She's afraid to spend time with him, I can see it, but she seems to do it to protect us or at least she thinks she's doing so."
"Sounds like Clare, how do you think she got herself blackmailed into a date. I should get back to class, I'll call her when I get home."
Adam hangs up and I decide to join Clare in the shower. I want to make love to her, but she needs to rest, she doesn't want to admit it but she was nearly killed. Rather than make love I wash her hair and her body, stealing a few kisses on her lips and skin. When she gets out she dries off and wraps in a robe and I get her some more blood. We spend hours lying in bed watching TV, I even bring her laptop to her when Adam calls back. They talk for a short time, mostly arguing about her spending time with Klaus. She assures him she's okay though and she'll talk to him tomorrow after school. We spend the afternoon and evening in her bed, mostly lying together in silence.
"Will you stay with me tonight?" Clare asks when she begins to get tired.
I kiss her softly, turn out the lights and get into bed next to her. She turns on her side nuzzling into my chest. I wrap her in my arms, falling asleep like that, until I feel her thrashing in my arms.
"Clare," I say brushing her hair away from her face.
She wakes with a jolt and gasp before she starts to tremble, I stroke her back kissing her temple. After a few moments she stops trembling, I wait for her to tell me what her nightmare was but she never does. She just stays in my arms, silent, her head down resting on my chest. I'm not sure she ever gets back to sleep, but we stay that way until the sun comes up and she begins to stir.
"You want to tell me what you were dreaming about now?" I ask her as she slowly gets out of bed.
"I don't remember," she shrugs looking over her shoulder at me. She won't quite meet my eyes though, and her voice is dry and distant. She's lying and she does remember the dream but she doesn't want to talk about it.
"If you were dreaming about Klaus you can tell me," I comment sitting up to kiss her shoulder blade.
"I need blood, and a shower before school, I'm still kind of sore," she comments rubbing where the wood had gone through her wrist. I take her hand and kiss where she'd been rubbing, there's a faint scar but she's healed.
"It's the dark magic, vampires are bound by magic and the dark magic hurts us more than almost anything else. Are you sure you want to go to school today?"
"Other than a little sore I feel fine, and if I stay home Klaus will probably find out and decide I should spend the day with him."
I open my mouth to argue, to tell her to stop seeing Klaus, but she gets out of bed and runs downstairs. I follow her down, taking a blood bag myself. I follow her into the shower of course, and I know she's feeling better when we make love in the shower. She gets ready for school and is drinking a blood bag when Stefan comes down.
"I'm meeting with Liz about what happened at the school yesterday. I'll come to the school at lunch," I tell Clare kissing her before she goes.
She smiles and I wave to Stefan before they leave. I leave a short time later to go meet Liz at her house.
"How's Clare?" Liz asks handing me a cup of coffee.
"She's fine, healed with some minor scars. I'm more worried about Klaus, he came by yesterday and I think she had a nightmare about him last night. She said she didn't remember it though, she's resistant to talk about him. Despite that she claims to want to spend time with him, most of the time I think she only does it because she feels it's keeping us safe. Anything more on what was found at the school yesterday?"
"As far as anyone is concerned it's a sewer backup that's been cleaned up and contained. Alaric took some of it to see if he could figure out what it had been. Elena and Jeremy said Bonnie was fine, and so is Jeremy. I checked in a two hundred mile radius, no recent strange murders and only a few animal attacks."
"So, hopefully whatever took Elena was killed by Bonnie and isn't working with anyone."
"Yeah, hopefully, but we're not usually that lucky. I'll keep checking for murders and animal attacks in that large of a radius for a few weeks. Maybe we'll get a few weeks of peace and quiet."
"When are we ever that lucky in this town, the siren said it herself it's a quintessence of supernatural power here. I don't think this town knows what peace and quiet is for very long."
(CLARE)
"Tell me if you start feeling sick or anything," Stefan comments when he sees me rubbing my side.
"Just sore that's all," I assure him with a smile.
Stefan nods, but says nothing else, he's a man of few words which I appreciate. We're silent the rest of the way to school, Stefan comes with me to my locker where Bonnie, Elena and Jeremy are waiting.
"Clare," Bonnie smiles with relief, "I'm so sorry about yesterday. I'm glad you're okay, the book was destroyed and after what it did I never want to touch black magic again."
"I'm glad to hear it, even though I understand your reasons for using it."
"How are you feeling?" Jeremy asks.
"A little sore, but otherwise fine. Honestly, I'm completely better now," I grin to reassure them. Everyone is still giving me the same unsure look, so I make my smile a little wider. "Honestly, I'm fine, some rest and blood and I'm totally fine. If you need any further proof I can tell you about my morning with Damon in the shower," I tease.
"Yeah, she's fine," Jeremy grins.
The rest of the week is quiet, seems that whatever was after Elena is gone now. Damon comes by at lunch and picks me up after school, he has blood for me to drink on the way home. As soon as we get home we're naked and making love, usually in more than one room and every position we can before I need blood again. Adam will call and I talk with him, and sometimes Drew and Dallas for a while.
The nights, after my homework is done, after Damon and I make love again, when the thoughts and fears come to the surface because I have time to think, that's when it's the hardest. I keep Damon in my bed or I stay in his, falling asleep in his arms, yet still waking over the same nightmare. A nightmare I refuse to talk about and tell him I don't remember, though he never believes me.
"You don't have to go with him," Damon comments when he sees me packing a change of clothes into my backpack Friday morning.
"We're not really having this argument again," I sigh.
"If he's forcing you to spend time with him tell him you won't go anymore," Damon comments wrapping his arms around me from behind. He places an open mouth kiss against my neck and I bite my lip as my body responds to him.
"I don't want to make Klaus angry, and as I keep reminding you I do enjoy spending time with Klaus. I love the way he worships my body and makes me feel like a goddess," I reply and Damon stiffens behind me.
"Are you saying I don't do those things?" He growls.
"No," I reply turning in his arms to kiss his bare chest, "you absolutely do. It doesn't mean I don't enjoy my time with Klaus." I can't tell him that Klaus compelled me to spend the weekends with him, to feed from people. That as much as I do enjoy parts of being with Klaus, worshipped by him, I fear him and live in terror of my time with him and what I'll be forced to do, to endure. I could tell Klaus no, to leave me alone, that I no longer want to see him, I'm petrified if I do Klaus will go on a killing spree of everyone I care about.
Damon's response is to growl, so I stand on my tiptoes and kiss him softly. "I'll see you at lunch."
"Maybe I should I just steal you away from the school at lunch, drive far and keep you somewhere Klaus can't find."
"Damon," I roll my eyes. I sling my backpack over my shoulder and run downstairs waiting for Stefan.
"Why do you look so annoyed?" Stefan questions when he meets me at the car.
"Your brother is annoyingly stubborn," I reply getting in the car.
Stefan replies with a small laugh and we drive to school in silence. The morning goes by quietly and I try not to think about spending time with Klaus tonight or what we'll do this weekend. Damon comes at lunch, we drink blood alone and I'm worried he's going to bring up Klaus again, but he doesn't. We eat alone, make out and he gives me a lingering passionate kiss before he returns to his car. Of course he does say he'll be in touch this weekend, every few hours. Jeremy says the same as we all walk out of school. Klaus is of course waiting at his car when school is out.
"Hello Lover," Klaus grins pulling me into his arms and greeting me with a salacious kiss. "Shall we then?" He asks when we finally pull apart.
"I'll see you guys Monday," I try to assure them all. Klaus begins driving but I soon realize that we're not going to his house. "Where are we going?"
"I'll decide when we get there Lover. Somewhere with lots of people so I can show you off, you know how I love to do so."
"You mean so we can feed from humans. I don't want to keep feeding from humans, I almost killed a man last time, nearly exsanguinated him, in fact we don't know that he didn't die. What if I can't stop myself when I feed from humans?"
"Good," Klaus grins.
"What the hell do you mean good?"
"You are a predator Clare, you need to live as one. If you plan to live in New York in the fall you need to know how. You may not be able to keep a blood supply in a dorm room or an apartment. You may have to feed from humans, a little from one, a little from the next until you are satiated and they remember nothing. A city like New York will have werewolves, vampires and witches among other things. If you must you need to be able to defend yourself as the predator that you are. I know where we're going now," Klaus smiles.
"You really think going to New York is a good idea? You remember that Eli lives there," I comment.
"I remember," Klaus snarls and then calms. "I'll try not to snap his neck if he find us," Klaus replies driving a little faster.
I cross my arms and stare out the window. I hate to admit it but he has a point, if I am going to live in New York and go to school I will have to know how to do it. How to live without a blood supply that's procured by Damon and Stefan. How to take just a little, to blend in as a human because only Adam will know I'm a vampire. I hadn't thought about New York having other supernatural beings, I knew there had to be some in a place as densely populated as New York, but hadn't thought that they might be things I need to defend myself against. We all live together peacefully in Mystic Falls, then again we're all connected there. I don't think witches or werewolves will welcome me into the fold in New York.
Klaus takes us to a fancy hotel as usual, and as always compels the staff to give us a suite. After leaving our things in the room, and quickly calling Adam, Damon and Jeremy to tell them I'm alive, we go down to the street. New York night life is bustling, I'd like to say I'm enjoying it, but I'm not. The stimuli is suffocating, the lights and sights, the tastes in the air, and the aromas. It's hard to focus on anything when I feel like I'm choking on the smells. Perfume, aftershave, wet streets, sewers, birds, rats, cats, dogs, food of all kinds and in all that mix; blood. So much blood, everyone passing by, blood, a blood buffet of giggling, distracted, awed and drunk tourists and locals. They're so absorbed in themselves, the lights, the energy of New York that I doubt they'd even notice us plucking two people from the crowd.
"Smell anyone you like?" Klaus asks.
"How can you tell in all this? I catch faint whiffs, only to be overwhelmed with other smells and senses. Why did you bring me here instead of closer to Columbia?"
"Because you should avoid feeding on campus or near it whenever you can. You know how to single out a scent, find one you like and follow it," Klaus says brushing the hair from the back of my neck.
I close my eyes and try to focus, at first it's all overwhelming still, it takes a moment to begin sifting through the scents. I breathe them in, tasting them on my tongue; cigarette smoke, coffee, hot dog, heavy perfume and then I single in on one distinct scent. A delicious scent, a scent I want so badly to taste but cannot have. It's Eli, he's nearby!