Shouto was DROWNING.

Figuratively, of course. More specifically, Shouto was drowning in self-doubt.

Ever since yesterday, when the rude alpha woman had publicly slandered the group for doing completely legal and fine acts, Shouto had been feeling away from everything. His head was stuffy and he couldn't concentrate. He had been feeling somewhat depressed too.

Self-deprecating thoughts flooded his head twenty-four seven. Thoughts like 'what if I'm really in the wrong?' or 'I think I might just be unlovable.'

You see, second genders were a newly developed concept. Most people perceived omegas to be at the bottom of the hierarchy and alphas the top. Alpha and alpha relationships were not generally accepted by the majority because they are unable to reproduce.

Shouto knew his class wasn't like that though. He knew they would accept him if he decided to come out. He just couldn't stop the little voices in his head saying, "What if?" There was always a chance.

That is why he decided to fix himself. To stop the outcome of the small chance from happening. He was going to ask Izuku out. Even if the kind omega wasn't his top choice. Really, deep down in his heart, he knew he would be much happier with the alpha. He couldn't handle the rejection from Katsuki. Not him.

Shouto took a deep breath to calm his racing heart. He still liked Izuku. He was nervous. He would be asking out his crush. No need to panic, Shouto, the bicolored haired boy thought, it's just Izuku.

But just Izuku didn't exist. It was Izuku. One of the most prominent people in Shouto's small depressing void of a world. Izuku was the first person to bring hope to Shouto. Just a few words could ruin Shouto's precariously built relationship with the greenette. This was the reason Shouto was panicking.

One thing Shouto's shitty joke of a father had taught him was how to shut off his emotions. Enji told him they were unneeded and a liability. Izuku embraced emotions and had told Shouto they could end up saving someone's life. This had taken Shouto by surprise. Class 1-A taught Shouto that it was okay to feel. Little by little, Shouto warmed up to emotions. He even managed to get a grand total of two crushes.

But Shouto could still shut them off at will. And this came in handy in situations just like this. Shouto couldn't handle the anxiety rushes through his brain right now. It was killing him inside out. It would be better to just stop all feeling to get through it. Shouto would hate every second of not having something he had grown to actually like. He hated not being able to be happy or- or- even sad! It felt good to vent and scream and be angry. He hated hiding it inside and not being able to let go.

But it had to be done.

So Shouto shut them away.

Shouto had been acting off all day and it was pissing Katsuki off.

Shouto usually was very excited and talkative, attempting to talk to Katsuki at least a couple times a day. Whenever Katsuki flirted he'd blush or on a good day he'd even flirt back.

Today was different though. During class he had stared out the window forlorningly. At lunch he didn't say a word. He only moved when someone told him it was time for the next period and even then he flinched like he had not even known they were there. Katsuki had tried to talk to him after Shouto didn't make the first move and he just nodded along not retaining any information Katsuki had relayed.

Katsuki wanted to know what was up. He had a hunch but it needed to be proven first and Shouto wouldn't just admit weakness.

While Katsuki had just shaken off the words of that alpha at the store, Katsuki thought Shouto might have taken the slandering to heart.

That's what Katsuki told himself as he tailed Shouto expertly.

Now, legally, this was stalking. Illegally, Katsuki was just making sure his best friend was alright. That's what Katsuki would tell the police.

Without making a sound, Katsuki followed Shouto who walked down a path outside UA, seeming to be looking for someone or something. Shouto sighed then his whole figure changed. His shoulders became slumped and he walked more robotically. He was like a whole different person.

Then, Katsuki realized he was like the person he was when he first arrived at UA. Emotionless. Apathetic. This was bad for Shouto. Shouto disassociated hard last time he shut off his emotions. The longer he stayed emotionless, the worse the aftermath would be. Katsuki needed to save Shouto.

Katsuki -about to go talk to Shouto- paused when Shouto stopped walking. He was facing Deku.

Shouto's voice was flat when he spoke, "Izuku, will you go out with me? As a date?"

Katsuki's breath became choppy. What had Katsuki just overheard? Nonono. Katsuki wasn't supposed to hear this. He wasn't even supposed to be even here.

But it didn't matter.

Katsuki had heard it.

Shouto had won their little competition.

Katsuki had lost. Both his honor and Shouto.

He ran.

Shouto's thoughts were blank as he said the words. Distantly, he heard loud footsteps run away somewhere behind him.

Izuku opened and closed his mouth like a little fish. "Sh-Shouto? Wh-what did you say?"

Shouto repeated, "Will you be my boyfriend?"

Izuku finally stopped gaping at Shouto. He looked down apologetically, not making eye contact. "Oh. I-I'm sorry Shouto. I- I can't return your feelings. I already have a boyfriend -Hitoshi- and I don't see you like that. I hope we can continue being friends though."

Shouto nodded then uttered, "I understand, Izuku. Have a nice day." He turned on his heel and left.

Shouto speed walked away. Violently, Shouto's protective mask broke and tears spilled. He was heartbroken and distraught. Broken. He was unlovable. Nobody loved him.

Not Izuku. Not Katsuki. Not Enji. Nobody. He was alone.

The next day, Shouto was almost the same. Distant and reeking of anxiety. Except it was different; it was like he had no soul. He talked to people only when necessary and did what he was told. He was a rock.

This annoyed Katsuki.

Shouto had won. He had all the rights to gloat and shove it in Katsuki's face and yet he didn't even talk to Katsuki. Nor his new boyfriend. Which was just rude.

So Katsuki decided to confront Shouto.

It was lunch time, the cafeteria was buzzing with extras and their useless chitter chatter. Shouto was sitting silently, eating a sandwich with Deku and his friends.

Katsuki stared at him from a few lunch tables down. The Idiot Gang were all gossiping and such. Mina kept making fun of him for 'making heart eyes at Shouto-dear' (her words, not his) which Katsuki guesses is well deserved. He has been openly staring at his crush for about ten minutes now.

Finally, he got up and stormed over to Shouto's table. He grabbed the other alpha's wrist and dragged him out of the lunch room. They reached a secluded hallway when Katsuki let go of Shouto's wrist. They stared at each other, waiting for one to talk first.

After two minutes, finally, Katsuki spoke, "You win."

Shouto looked confused, "What are you talking about?"

Katsuki rolled his eyes like it was obvious, "Our competition. You remember, don't you? A race to see who can win Deku over first? The loser pays the expenses for the date? Ring any bells?"

Shouto responded, "Well, yes. But I didn't-"

"Oh course you did, fair and square. Now, where are you two going for your first date, love birds? Don't worry about the cost, I'm happy for you." Katsuki's voice cracked at the last part.

"Izuku and I-" Shouto began.

"What? Are you going to gloat now? I get it already. I even admitted defeat. What else do you-"

"IZUKU AND I AREN'T DATING!" Shouto yelled.

Katsuki stared at the bicolored haired alpha, "What?"

"He rejected me after I asked him out! He's already dating Hitoshi and never saw us that way! So just- just- stop! We both lose!" Shouto yelled.

"What?" Katsuki repeated, still in shock.

Shouto was angry and annoyed now,

"I already told you-"

"No, I'm just surprised. I didn't even think of the possibility that Deku was already taken." Katsuki said.

"So I guess I was right all along, Kats." Shouto smiled sadly.

"Ew, never call me that again. And not completely, Shouto. You thought Hitoshi had a second quirk that made Deku fall in love with him. Turns out they actually like each other! Who could have guessed?" Katsuki said.

Shouto snorted, "Who knew?"

They both settled into a comfortable silence.

Katsuki could tell Shouto was still broken and not mentally stable at the moment about the whole Deku fiasco. Katsuki was never the best at emotions, -handling his own or otherwise- but he could tell Shouto needed help. Katsuki was afraid that him trying to help would cause more damage than help and was quite lost. So all he could do right now is try to get a smile on Shouto's handsome face.

Shouto broke the quiet, "So… what now?"

Katsuki smiles mischievously, "Wanna go on a date together?"

Shouto's face turned red as a tomato, "What?!"