hey folks! welcome to Ultraviolet, the sequel to The Chase. If you're new here, you can likely read this as a stand-alone but I would recommend reading The Chase first. This is about Nate and Mackenzie Humphrey (an original character). This starts at the finale finale of Gossip Girl, aka just around Dan and Serena's wedding in September of 2017. It is about two years and a bit after where we left off in the previous story. There will be some flashbacks throughout to fill in the gap. I want you to know I hear you - to jump into a sequel with impending heartache and drama and angst is a lot. But in the middle of writing the last one, I just had this story jump out at me and I didn't want this world to end yet. So, I hope you enjoy!
September 2017
Returning to Brooklyn with boxes and luggage again was a strange deja vu for Mackenzie Humphrey. It was just three years ago that she first came home and changed her life - and now she was back again.
The September air was warm - it was fitting to be welcomed back to the city with sunshine, even though Mackenzie felt a deep sadness inside. She never dealt well with change, sudden or planned, but at least she knew she would be seeing her family soon enough.
Someone had sent a car to get her at the airport that Thursday afternoon and she politely thanked the driver for helping her get her things upstairs. She searched her hand around the door frame for the key but when she reached for the door, it was already unlocked. She sighed, a smile appearing on her face.
She pushed the door open and found exactly what she hoped for: family.
"Kenzie!" Jenny rushed towards her first and wrapped her into a hug. Soon after Dan and Rufus joined in.
Mackenzie had seen Jenny the most recently - she and Joseph had only left London for New York about a month ago. She was starting a new partnership as one of the lead designers at Waldorf, specifically expanding on her own line J for Waldorf. The Humphrey sisters spent nearly two years living together in London - which had been mostly smooth sailing. They both were grateful to have the other especially when tragedy hit their family.
Mackenzie hadn't seen her brother and dad in over a year.
"Missed you, Mack," Dan rubbed his hand playfully on her head, messing up her hair as they all pulled apart from their group hug.
"How was the flight?" Rufus asked as he moved her bags inside. The loft was almost exactly the same as before and Mackenzie was relieved for the familiarity.
Rufus was still splitting his time between LA, Seattle and New York with Lisa so he primarily lived at her place when he was in town. Dan and Serena had moved into a place in the village and Jenny was being hosted in an apartment uptown near Waldorf headquarters.
"It felt long, even though I slept for most of it. I'm happy I won't have to make that trip again for a while."
"Really? So is Nick visiting first then?" Mackenzie just nodded at her brother's question. She glanced over at Jenny who gave her a strange look.
Right. Nick. My boyfriend who broke up with me two weeks ago. Thank god Jenny has learned how to keep a secret.
The last thing Mackenzie wanted to do days before Dan and Serena's wedding was lament her family with her romance issues. She was having a hard enough time dealing with the fact that she had to face Nate in the next few days, too.
Nate Archibald - the love of her life. Well, at one point she believed that to be true. Sometimes, in reflection, the time she spent with Nate felt like a romantic drama. Like it never actually happened to her - that the tears and laughter and love were all memories she made up.
She was the one who hit self destruct at the end of her summer. She was the one who decided to stay in London. But Nate was the one who didn't want to do long distance. Even though her job offer after her program had only been for one year - he said he couldn't do it. He had begged her to just come home and live with him.
He was the one who stopped talking to her when she said she was staying.
'It's easier for me to just not talk to you. I hope you understand Mack. I just can't.'
Of course she understood. But she hated it. She had made the choice and regretted it almost entirely. Even though her job was incredible and fulfilling, she spent all her time for months dreaming of Nate; following the Spectator just for a glimpse of his name or a new photo.
It faded, with time. The thoughts and dreams and regrets.
Then Allison Humphrey died. Very suddenly and painlessly. Jenny and Mackenzie rushed home and spent the last few hours at her bedside with Dan, Alex and Rufus. But that was it. An unexplained brain tumour took her life in the span of a few days.
Mackenzie found her way to Nate on that trip home and all her healed wounds tore open again. It was too easy.
Waking up in his bed one last time, in her emotionally compromised state, was probably a bad idea. But it was like a drug. The relief was immediate but the pain that followed was almost not worth it.
Especially when she got incredible life changing news. Then lost it a week later. She couldn't even tell Nate. She tried to, but it was too hard. He was going through a hard enough time with his family - she couldn't have him worry about her on the other side of the world.
Then it was her turn to cut him off. Their communication stilled when she stopped returning his messages and stopped listening to his voicemails.
And now, over a year later, she would have to see him again. She hoped desperately they could be amicable and just forget about their past. If she didn't bring anything up, maybe he wouldn't either.
"Uh, yes. Nick might be coming up in October or maybe for Thanksgiving. He's undecided." She just shook her head and smiled, looking around at her family. "But enough about that - please tell me you're all available and taking me to dinner."
"Oh, we've already reserved a table - if you're craving pad thai."
She threw an arm around Dan's shoulders, "I've been dreaming about it for weeks."
Between the flourishing success of his online journalism network and his bi-weekly print edition in New York, Nate Archibald and The Spectator were thriving. He spent most of his time in New York but frequently travelled up to D.C. to manage his team there.
He couldn't believe how The Spectator had grown. He owed it to his incredibly hardworking staff and trusting investors. But he knew he also owed it to himself. The past two years of his life had been a whirlwind - every free moment of his time was spent investing himself into The Spectator. And it was paying off.
Just over a year ago, Nate had invested in a large printing warehouse in Queens. The company that owned it was going out of business and a dozen staff members were about to lose their jobs. To Nate, it was an opportunity for The Spectator to commit and extend its reach to the dying print market and the risk had paid off. His biweekly printed paper saw huge success in New York and his warehouse also took on print contracts around the state.
It was strategic moves like that which really pushed Nate's All American image: thinking about the future of the citizens, job growth, sustainability, opportunity - leading him to a team of political advisors helping him plan his future. Rumours started flying early that he could be the democratic candidate for Mayor of New York City.
Even a year before the election, he was polling positively. He could be the youngest Mayor in the city's history, on course to be a senator, then possibly even President of the United States.
Those were big dreams and big goals. But Nate was determined and focused.
In the back of his mind, he wished so desperately he wasn't going it alone. He knew behind most great leaders they had a supportive partner and Nate had been flying solo since Mackenzie. He tried to date again, but he always let work get in his way of a successful relationship.
He wished he could go back in time and handle their breakup better. He would encourage her to stay in London instead of criticizing her for it. He would support her through the job opportunity and fly her home for the holidays and long weekends. Instead, he cut her off. He knew it hurt them both but at the time, he thought it was for the best.
Then she came home for her mom's funeral and everything sparked again. And there was a glimmer of hope for their future that one night.
But she still went back to London. And though that time they tried to be friends - Nate would always be grateful she took his call the night his dad had a heart attack - it didn't work. She iced him out slowly and their communication disappeared.
He did listen when she came up in conversations and maybe he checked his email lists to see if she was subscribed to his weekly newsletter. He knew she had a boyfriend in London. He knew she was moving back to the city and he would see her again. Their lives would always overlap.
He just hoped it would be easy. Maybe they were meant to just be friends.
His parents were proud of him but he knew they wanted him to find a loving wife and produce grandchildren. Sure, having a son as Mayor of New York would be wonderful, but producing another Archibald would be even better. The Captain has survived a terrible heart attack and turned over a new leaf - life was meant to be lived, lived well, with the people you love.
Nate had been in love with Mackenzie Humphrey. But he had moved on.
His current biggest worry was lying to himself.
"Nate! I'm serious. We are on a tight schedule so if your plane doesn't leave on time, we won't wait for you." Blair Waldorf was hissing into her phone as she kicked up warm soapy water at the nail technician doing her pedicure. Blair, Serena, Jenny and Mackenzie were all spending Friday morning at the salon getting their nails done. The one request from Serena was to have a relaxing morning before her and Dan exchanged vows.
"Blair, of course we would wait for him -
"Serena, don't pander to Nate. He will be on time. Right?" Blair paused and listened to his response on the end of her phone.
"Yes, Blair. I'm scheduled to leave at noon so I should have plenty of time."
"And no date! I have no room for additional plus ones at my table." Blair hit the end call button on her phone and turned her head to her best friend. "Serena, you tasked me to curate this perfect, intimate wedding for you and Humphrey. Just relax while I continue to whip our friends and family into shape."
Serena just sighed and smiled at her friend.
"Oh, and Mackenzie, I did have to sit Nate at the same end of the table as you."
Mackenzie and Jenny were sitting on the other side of Serena, and had been doing their best to ignore Blair's tirade about people being on time.
When Blair said Nate's name, Mackenzie felt her chest sink in. She still wasn't ready to see him. But she knew she would just have to deal with it.
"Thanks for the heads up, Blair. It's really not a big deal though. It's not like we're going to scream at each other." Mackenzie leaned back in her chair and shut her eyes for a moment. She felt Jenny grab her hand.
"Oh I know. Because if either of you even roll your eyes at each other, you're banished from dinner." Blair replied simply.
Mackenzie wasn't mad at Nate. She was mad at how their relationship fell apart.
After all the romance and promises and love, Nate still broke up with her. Then after attempting to be friends, Mackenzie couldn't be honest with him.
But she missed him. She missed his smile and laugh and puppy dog confusion. She missed his strong arms and supportive sentences and gentle laughter. She missed dreaming of their future. She missed his body and how they fit together so perfectly.
He had repeatedly told her she was the one who chose to stay in London. That she was the one hiding from Manhattan. That she was scared of continuing on. Whether or not those were true statements, they had cut deeply. She knew she hurt him. And he hurt her, too.
It was late Friday afternoon - just before Dan and Serena were going to be married in front of their family and friends. After saying hello to all of the other guests, Mackenzie was hiding out in the powder room on the main floor of Blair and Chuck's townhouse.
"You okay?" Dan poked his head in before walking into the small space to see his sister.
"Dan, it's your wedding day. You should not be worried about me."
"I can be worried whenever I want, Mack." He watched as she stared at herself in the mirror. Dan put his hand out and squeezed her shoulder.
"I think I just need to see him, then I'll be fine."
"It's just gonna be like ripping off a band aid."
Mackenzie reached up and smoothed out her hair, looking over every detail of herself in the mirror. Her long brown hair was pulled into a tight, perfect ponytail. She was wearing a sheer black halter blouse, paired with a subtle, sparkling gold skirt and a pair of heels. She let out a breath and smiled, turning to her brother.
"You know, mom would have loved to see you all dressed up like this," she said quietly, reaching up to straighten his tie. Dan smiled back at her, pausing to grab her hands.
"I know, but I appreciate you saying it out loud." Dan squeezed her hand and leaned in to kiss her forehead. "Walk me out there?" He extended his arm for her to link with his.
Equally as nervous as her brother, Mackenzie just nodded and took a deep breath. They walked out into the lounge area where everyone was getting seated.
Her eyes swept around the room and they finally met Nate's. For Mackenzie, in that moment, time seemed to stop.
Nate Archibald looked as handsome as ever - a million dollar smile, perfectly styled hair combed to the side, a blue-gray suit paired with a white button up. Mackenzie almost gasped when she saw his tie - it was the tie. The one she bought him years ago on her Christmas trip to London: silk, cobalt blue with a light grey pindot design. She remembered meticulously scanning all the ties as Jenny helped her pick one out. She was sure that was the tie. He was wearing the tie.
He must have done that on purpose, right? Like he made a strategic choice to wear that tie. Did this mean something? Maybe just just picked a tie, Mackenzie. Don't overthink this.
She swallowed the lump in her throat and gave Nate a polite smile before pulling Dan into a hug, then took a seat on the couch with Jenny and Eric.
Jenny leaned over to her, "You alright?"
Mackenzie just nodded and whispered back, "Everything is okay."
"It's funny that Dan asked me to speak today, considering I'm the well-medicated, anxiety ridden member of the family but here goes nothing. Not that I can easily follow up Blair's love letter to Serena."
Mackenzie paused as she stood at the front of the long table, to the right of her brother and his bride. Blair, Serena, Eleanor and Lily were wiping away tears still.
"I'm not the writer of the family but Dan can't speak at his own wedding. And Jen helped with dress design, so her job is over. And we all know that if dad was up here, he'd somehow think it appropriate to play the guitar. So, here I am." Mackenzie looked down at the few notes she had written.
"If our mom, Allison, was here with us today, I know she'd be two glasses of Merlot in and she'd have already cried three times." Mackenzie paused to take a deep breath and let it out slowly. "Serena, she would have told you how you looked like a work of art standing up in front of us. And Dan, she would have told you not to let her go this time." Dan reached out to grab Mackenzie's hand as she paused to wipe away a few tears.
"As we all know, it's been a long road for Dan and Serena. I won't go into the details but I think we can all agree they pushed through a lot of hardship and heartbreak to finally end up here today. And to me, that's a shining, beautiful example of true love."
"Dan and Serena have found a perfect balance and to some, it's hard to understand. And maybe that's okay - because it's not up to us to know the intricacies and details of their relationship. But from the outside, Serena is the dreamer who lifts up Dan to possibility. And Dan has his boots on the ground, reminding her of their foundation and commitment. Isn't that the most wonderful thing?"
She paused again to look at the beaming couple, wrapped up in each other's eyes. Then towards the whole table, smiling and nodding along.
"Dan told me in no uncertain terms am I allowed to mention his sixth grade haircut and first date, or his soft spot for Shania Twain. So if anyone wants to discuss those things later, let me know."
"Now, let us all raise our glasses to Serena and Dan - who have proved time and time again that true love is worth it." Mackenzie raised her glass of champagne and looked around the room. A chorus of cheers rang out for the couple and Mackenzie felt relieved she was done speaking. She looked down the room and Nate locked his eyes with hers from the other end of the table. He tipped back his glass as everyone cheered and finished his beverage, his face turned to a frown as he continued to look at Mackenzie.
She slid into her seat, conveniently across from him and gave him a confused look. She opened her mouth to say something but Eric jumped in to speak.
"I would love to hear every detail about Dan's first ever date and awful haircut."
Mackenzie broke her eye contact with Nate and turned her attention to Eric. She pulled out her phone and smiled, "I think I kept a copy of the photo, it's incredible. Her name was Stephanie Black - all the girls in his grade made fun of him for weeks after."
The six course dinner ended with a dessert of Dan and Serena's favourite cheesecakes and more champagne. As people began to disperse around the house and leave, Mackenzie had the attention of Chuck Bass himself as he slid into Eric's vacant seat beside her. Nate was still sitting across from them, chatting with William.
"Miss Humphrey," Chuck started, giving her a warm smile, "It's been a while."
"I know, hasn't the time apart been wonderful?" Mackenzie replied to him, sipping her champagne. She wasn't sure how many glasses she had consumed.
Chuck just smirked at her, taking a large drink of his scotch, "I see the jet lag hasn't affected your wit."
Mackenzie just sighed. She had decided to forgive Chuck for his actions a long time ago but she still had reservations about him. Considering the messy time in her life when she worked for him, it was difficult not to have her guard up. "The house looks wonderful, Chuck. And Henry has really grown into such a gentlemen. He greeted me in French when I got here today."
"He does have a sharp brain. I'll admit he gets that from his mother." Chuck smiled to himself. "So, a little birdie told me you still don't have a new job lined up in the city."
Mackenzie bit her lip for a moment to think. "Was that little birdie Dan Humphrey?" She scanned around the room to locate her brother. "I have a few interviews lined up." That wasn't entirely true but she wasn't going to admit that to Chuck Bass.
"Well, I have a proposition for you."
Mackenzie shifted in her seat and positioned herself to face him. "Oh yeah?"
"The Bass Foundation needs a new CFO. Well, really it's more than just finance - I need a Chief Operating Officer, really."
"Is this a joke?" Mackenzie looked at Chuck with wide eyes. She closed them for a moment. She felt an urge to look across the table at Nate but she fought herself over it. She knew he was still there, pretending not to listen to her and Chuck chat.
"I think you would be a good fit."
Mackenzie couldn't help but laugh as she reached for her glass of champagne. It was nearly empty. "Do you remember what happened last time I worked for the Bass Foundation?" She finished her drink then reached her hand up to touch the faint scar above her left eyebrow. "I'm sure Nate remembers." She looked over at Nate now, her eyes darting from his face to his left arm. She couldn't believe she had even said his name, acknowledged him.
"Mackenzie, I have a lot of remorse over what happened that night. I assure you I've taken every step since then to ensure proper security measures are in place at all my office spaces and social events, plus each employee is thoroughly vetted before employment."
"Well, I'm glad I was part of your guinea pig process for vetting your former criminal staff members." She stood up slowly, sighing. "Thanks but no thanks, Chuck."
"If you change your mind, my calendar is open Monday afternoon if you want to chat."
Mackenzie just shook her head as she walked away from the table. She needed some fresh air. She found her way outside to the small patio area and looked up to the foggy stars in the sky.
Nate Archibald showed up on time for his friends' wedding. He wasn't worried about it although to appease Blair he gave her a play by play update as he travelled in.
His two night stay in D.C. had proved successful - splitting his time between The Spectator office and a few meetings with political campaign experts. His future of running for Mayor was becoming a very true reality and he couldn't be more excited.
He rushed to Blair and Chuck's townhouse when he touched down in New York, quickly dismissing the waiting reporters and leaving them with a polite comment about his love for his city.
The minute he climbed into his awaiting car, his smile faded and the nerves took over. He couldn't admit it out loud but he was nervous about seeing Mackenzie. He was still mad at her for cutting him off last year - as much as he could blame her grief or the stress of his life, it had hurt all over again.
Hurt is inevitable.
But he wanted to feel something good again, instead.
When he arrived at their townhouse, she wasn't waiting with everyone else. If she was there, she was off in another room. He made his rounds, saying hello and hugging everyone in the room.
"Nice tie," Jenny said to him quietly as they split from their hug. He gave her a small smile as she nodded, before heading up stairs with a shopping bag.
Nate took a seat in the plush armchair beside Eleanor, Cyrus and Henry. He reached out and gave his godson a smile and a high five, complimenting his bow tie.
When Dan walked into the room with Mackenzie, Nate felt his chest tighten.
There she was, standing ten feet in front of him after being across the ocean for the last two years. He met her eyes as she stood across from her brother, and Nate couldn't stop himself from offering her a smile. He had to. Just the sight of her lifted him up, even for a brief moment.
To him, she still looked just as beautiful. Maybe more so now. Her long brown hair, fluttering eyelashes, warm smile. The faint gold skirt hugged the curves of her hips. He wanted to drink her in.
She smiled back at him before hugging Dan, and taking a seat with her sister and Eric. Nate watched as Jenny whispered in her ear.
Nate was just happy to see her smile again.
As Mackenzie read out her speech during dinner, Nate was feeling incredibly confused and conflicted. He had a hard time listening to her spout about true love. Isn't that what they had before? She spoke about love so easily but didn't she and him throw their own love away?
Was he just romanticising their time together?
He found himself wrapped up in a conversation with William as Mackenzie and Chuck spoke across the table from him.
He felt an unusual sense of protection wash across him as Chuck baited her with a job offer. Nate sensed she wasn't interested and had a wall up. He could still read her well enough. As William excused himself, Nate's attention turned to Chuck and Mackenzie.
"Do you remember what happened last time I worked for the Bass Foundation?" Nate watched her touch the scar above her eye. He felt a heat rise in him as Chuck reminded her of those memories. "I'm sure Nate remembers." Mackenzie met his eyes for a moment, then looked over to his left bicep.
Nate stopped listening after she said his name. He remembered every frightening detail about the night of the gala two and a half years ago. He had never felt his heart beat so quickly before that night.
"Nathaniel."
Nate shook his head and looked up, breaking away from his thoughts. "Sorry, just got kind of distracted there."
"Are you going to talk to her?"
Nate just sighed, grabbing his drink and leaning back in his chair. "I don't know, man. I don't think I want to."
Chuck let out a short laugh, "Of course you do. You've been watching her and fighting over it all night."
"That's not true."
"It is. And you've designed this life where you drown yourself in your work and political causes. So if you don't take the time to talk to her right now, you never will. Just pause the anger and start the conversation. So, go." Chuck motioned his eyes towards the back patio where Mackenzie was now standing. "Sorry I wound her up with the job question first."
Nate laughed then finished off his drink before standing up.
"Good luck." Chuck raised his glass towards his friend as he exited the room.
Most of the wedding guests remained in the dining room or had moved back towards the living room, or had left. Nate spotted Mackenzie in the back of the outdoor space, walking slowly around a few flower beds. He slid the patio door open and walked outside, the cool air washing over him.
He slowly walked over to where she was. She paused in front of the flowers, crossing her arms and letting out a sigh. She looked up towards the sky.
"Hey," Nate said quietly as he stopped beside her.
She didn't look over at him. She kept peering up at the dim stars. "Hey."
"I liked your speech earlier. Although I thought you might make fun of Dan more."
Mackenzie let out a quiet laugh, "Yeah, well, I figured I should go easy on him. Especially if I want him to speak at my wedding some day."
Hey, remember when you used to dream about your wedding with Nate?
Mackenzie finally pulled her gaze down from the sky and looked at Nate. Everything felt very quiet when she met his eyes. She shivered in the cool night - although she knew a part of the tingling sensation rushing through her was caused by Nate just existing in front of her.
"Here," he slid off his suit jacket and swung it over her shoulders. She tried to protest, but the minute she felt the soft texture on her arms, she felt relieved. She took in a deep breath to steady herself and to try and take in the scent of his cologne.
"Thanks." She paused. "Hey, how's The Captain doing?"
Nate let out a small laugh, rolling his eyes, "He's doing well. Better than this time last year. He really dove into a new lifestyle but I worry he's dipping back into his bad habits. His heart recovered but he has to take care of it." He paused, putting his hands into his pockets. "You could have called anytime and asked that question."
Mackenzie let out a breath. There it is. Here we go. "I'm glad he's doing okay. But Nate, I'm sorry, you know. For cutting you off. I never wanted to but -
Nate looked at her, "Yeah. But you did."
"Nate, my life was a mess."
"I know that, Mackenzie. My life wasn't going smoothly either. But we had agreed to be friends. I wanted to be friends." He paused, running a hand through his hair and looking away from her. "I needed you to be my friend. And you just decided for us both that clearly it wasn't possible."
Mackenzie scrunched her face in frustration.
"It wasn't that black and white for me, okay? And I don't know if I can just be friends with you, Nate. It's hard. It's too hard." She shook her head and took a few steps away from him. "I didn't want to do this tonight."
"Then we won't. I'm sorry I started all this." Nate started to walk back towards the house, but something told him to turn back to her. "Just tell me one thing - would you have stayed? Last year when you were home, you woke up in my bed again and everything felt right. At least to me it did. If I had asked you to stay, would you have moved back?"
"That's not a fair question! My life was in ruins. My mom had just died and…
"Just answer the question, Mack." His voice was tired, soft. He clearly didn't intend for this to turn into a big argument. "That morning, you told me not to ask. But what if I did."
Everytime Nate called her Mack, instead of Mackenzie, she died a little bit more inside.
She didn't want to answer. "What difference does it make? Even if I had, there's no guarantee we would be together still."
"Bullshit."
"Nate. It's not that easy."
"It is. I just need to know."
Mackenzie squeezed her eyes shut, and rubbed them with her hand. Why was this happening now? Why did he have to pry? Her plan to just gloss over everything and be friends was clearly never going to work.
"It doesn't have to be all or nothing. We can just leave the past in the past and move on."
Nate let out a frustrated groan and brushed his hand through his hair. Clearly he had a different idea of how this might go.
"Fine. If this is what you want to know - yes, I would have stayed. Of course I would have stayed. But I didn't. And life has moved on, I've moved on, and we can't go back." Her voice cracked. "Nate. It's too hard."
"Mack…" He took a step towards her. He wanted to touch her. She reached towards him and ran her hands over his tie. As she changed her mind and pulled her hands away, Nate noticed she still wore the shimmering amethyst ring on her hand.
She pushed past him, suit jacket still on her shoulders, "I have to go. I'm sorry."
Well, we're off to the races. Sometimes true love has to fight. Let's hope they're up for round two.