"So, who was she?" Phil asks Chris.
Bowing to the unavoidable, Chris pushes aside the morning's status reports and focuses his full attention on the doctor. "And you are referring to?"
"Don't be coy, which by the way is an artform with you. If there was an Olympic sport for disarming misdirection, you'd get the gold every time."
Chris' expression is composed and serene.
Phil wags his finger at him. "There it is. That is exactly what I am talking about. You've wearing that tolerant Captain Pike look. The 'I'm going to patiently listen to everything you have to say and then not answer your question' look. You should patent it."
Lifting his chin, Chris rolls his eyes almost imperceptibly.
"And there is the other one, the 'if needed, I'll use the dimples' look."
"Seriously, you have labeled my facial expressions. Perhaps I should increase your duties, it appears you don't have enough to do."
"One of my primary responsibilities is seeing to the health and wellbeing of this ship's Captain. A task you spend a considerable amount of time obfuscating."
"Hence why you land on my doorstep every morning with numerous prying questions."
Phil responds before noticing the trap. "Exactly." He pauses and then chuckles. "Damn, round one to you."
Retrieving two cups of coffee, Chris placed one on the desk in front of his CMO and sits in the chair beside him. "Chef must be pleased with me this week; this is the second morning he's left freshly brewed coffee in the ready room. You know how closely he guards his supply of real beans."
The CMO deeply inhales the aroma and drinks carefully, savoring the rare treat. "Nectar of the gods. No one makes coffee as good as Chef's. This is the reason you recruited him, isn't it?"
Chris flashes a crooked smile. "A well-fed crew is a happy crew, that is why I recruited him." He takes a sip. "Though his coffee brewing skills are a considerable bonus. How's your patient this morning?"
"My patient? You appear to be under the mistaken impression I am in charge of my own Sickbay."
Hiding a fond smile behind his cup, Chris offers genuine sympathy, "Sarah's helping out?"
"Treats me like an addled intern half the time. Though she is careful to keep her ministrations confined to Lilly. Who had a rough night and day but is resting comfortably now. Between the serious case of warp sickness and the allergic reaction to the medication it will be a few days before we can rebuild her immune system."
"I see. But you have no concerns about her prognosis?"
"None. Now back to my original question."
"Enterprise was in port one night before being called back for this mission. I met a friend from high school for drinks. We stopped briefly at a run of the mill party. Finding that unpleasant I went for a long walk through a park and eventually had dinner …" Chris answers.
Phil interrupts, "You know, if you would offer even the slightest glimpse into your personal life, folks wouldn't have to imagine the rest. When there are blanks, people fill them in."
"I believe I just did."
"Boring! It's no wonder I have to spend so much of my valuable time starting rumors about you. Otherwise you might never get laid."
Chris chuckles. "I've heard some of those rumors, I doubt I could live up to them."
"OK, you had sex with a friend from high school …"
"Not exactly, no."
Phil ignores the correction, "… that's great, sex is good stress relief and you needed it after these past few missions. But what about intimacy? Being in the arms of someone who nurtures you? You must want that too."
"I … with …" Chris pauses. Yes, that is what I found with Lilly. I hadn't the right words until now. "This job takes a toll."
"Finally you admit that."
"I am responsible for over 400 lives. My oath is a serious commitment. Danger manifests in the blink of an eye; almost every week contains a first. Yet there is nothing I would rather be or do. Having a wall around Chris allows me to be the Captain Pike the crew needs. Before I held a high-profile position, even before I started at the academy, I kept the most personal parts of my life private. It's who I am."
"You have to let a few past the wall."
"I do. You are one of my closest friends. So is Una. I let you both in. As well as Bob and Sarah."
"Not always. Not enough. You walk a fine line, even with us."
Chris inclined his head showing respect for Phil's words. "Perhaps. It is a habit that is hard to change. When there is something I want to share, something personal and important, you are the one I seek out."
"Not enough."
"You too are a member of my crew. And there are some burdens that must rest solely with me."
Phil shakes his head, "Leaders are there to help their crew manage the good and the bad, you cannot be expected to bear all the responsibility alone."
"No. That would be hubris and impossible. But I am the one who must draw the line between what is shared and what is not. I am well and content. The crew is well and happy. Because you perform your work flawlessly. And I am late for a briefing. Same time tomorrow?"
It was Phil's turn to chuckle. "I am predictable, aren't I?"
"I wouldn't have it any other way."
Phil was on his way to Sickbay before realizing, Chris never answered my original question. He can be as slippery as an eel.
ooooo
Lilly notices a burst of light in the corner of her personal PADD, tiny fireworks exploding, first red, then green, then yellow, then blue, then orange. Following the vibrant display is real-time message: How are you feeling?
She types: Better, OK, Tired. Clever attention getter by the way. Very cheery.
Chris: I realize how out of touch this makes me sound, but it took twenty-minutes to find that."
Lilly: I doubt busy Captains have much time to explore the world of emojis.
Chris: I should scold you for being awake at midnight.
Lilly: Right back at you.
Chris: Need anything?
Lilly: No, I am well cared for by your crew and Sarah and Bob. I'm sorry about yesterday.
Chris: How so? What do you mean? Oh, that. Not your fault, you couldn't help it.
Lilly: I did warn you real dates never go well with me.
Chris: If you prefer, we can stick with the pretend dates. Our first was extraordinary. What I remember from last night is how right you felt in my arms.
Lilly: Very impressive core strength by the way. Do you often literally sweep women off their feet?
In her mind's eye, she pictures his faint blush. I like his humility. She then types: Did you have a good day?
Chris: Quiet, this area of the quadrant is well-traveled so other than avoiding those with marginal piloting skills there is little that requires close attention. Phil said you may be allowed visitors in a couple of days.
Lilly: That will be welcome.
Chris: Twenty questions? Being a gentleman, I'll let you go first.
Lilly: OK … Hmmm … Favorite color?
Chris: Whatever yours is. My turn. What's our favorite color?"
Lilly: Green. Middle name?
Chris: Johnathon. You?
Lilly: Catherine. How many are in your crew?
Chris: Four hundred fifty-one, including me. Lilly Catherine, I like that, it suits you. Do your parents live in Boston?
Lilly: My parents passed away when I was in college.
Pause.
Chris: I'm sorry.
Lilly: It's OK, I don't mind talking about it, they died in an accident. I still miss them, but the sadness has faded. Are your parents in Mojave?
Chris: Yes. My father is a teacher, my mother was a competitive athlete, now she coaches. She and my grandmother train horses as well. Where did you learn to cook?
Lilly: My grandfather taught me. He, his father, and his grandfather had a restaurant in a small town on the coast. I used to spend weekends and summers working in their kitchen or waiting tables. I am guessing you spent a significant amount of time mucking out stables.
Chris: Everyday day I was or, for that matter, am at home. My grandmother insists it keeps me grounded.
Lilly: First job?
Chris: My first assignment after Starfleet academy was test pilot.
Lilly: That sounds dangerous.
Chris: Not that much, not really.
Lilly: I've read the statistics, 1 in 4 are killed or injured during a test flight.
Chris: Statistics never reflect the whole picture. There is no context. During summers in high school and the academy I worked at a flight school as an instructor.
Lilly: Smooth change of subject. Well done. Would you take me flying someday? Well below warp 7 please. Sorry, that is presumptuous.
Chris: Not at all. I'd like that.
He started to add, I'd like to take you up in my pre-WWII biplane, flying through the clouds with the pinks, lavenders, and dark blues of sunset streaked across the sky, the wind gently blowing your unbound hair. The thought sobered him, who knows when I will be back on Earth, which is the elephant in the room we keep pretending doesn't exist.
Lilly: Still there?
Chris: Yeah. You should rest.
Lilly: I'm not at all sleepy.
Chris: Why law?
Lilly: Because it's the story of who we are as individuals and as a society. The rules we enact into a legal framework, the ones we choose to enforce, the ones we ignore, the way we apply those rules, either strictly or in spirit; all of that is our mirror. Bob and Sarah respect you a great deal. How long did you serve with them?
Chris: That is your last question. I was Bob's first officer on Enterprise for several years. Sarah was the CMO. Do you know their story?
Lilly: No.
Chris: If I tell you will try to sleep?
Lilly: So you are offering a bedtime story? How cute. And yes, I will try.
Chris: Once upon a time …
Lilly: [Big smile]
Chris: Settle down. Actually, you should get into bed now then you can immediately go to sleep when I am finished.
Lilly: Very well. You are quite bossy.
Chris: Comes with the stripes. Once upon a time there was a dedicated Starfleet doctor who longed for a different life. Unsure what was missing but recognizing she wanted more, Sarah Poole resigned her commission and enrolled in veterinary school. Granted her second doctorate in the healing arts, she setup a practice treating both the locals and their pets in a small town near San Francisco. Not long afterwards the highly decorated and newly promoted Captain Robert April as well as others, including George Kirk, began lobbying Starfleet Command for a self-sufficient heavy cruiser designed for the rigors of deep space exploration as well as planetary defense. From that lobbying, Enterprise, the first of its class, was built. Bob oversaw much of its construction at the San Francisco shipyards. Still with me?
Lilly: Yes, this is fascinating.
Chris: While based on Earth Bob adopted a dog who fell ill, and no vet could diagnosis the problem. On a recommendation, Bob sought out Sarah who treated and saved his pet. Over the years, as Bob continued to bring his dog to Sarah for checkups, they became friends. Then lovers. As the time approached for Enterprise to launch, Bob asked Sarah to rejoin Starfleet and serve as his CMO. She accepted. They married five years later and lived happily ever after. The tools and techniques she developed are now standard for ships across the fleet. And Bob remains one of the most decorated officers in Starfleet history.
Lilly: That's lovely. Very romantic. Their love for each other continues to shine. Not many experience that.
Chris: Yes. It's rare. Time for you to rest. Good night.
Lilly: Good night.
For Chris sleep was elusive. The simple domestic ritual of an end of day chat about nothing in particular with one who is special filled a hole in his life he hadn't realized existed.
Lilly fell asleep with the PADD containing their conversation clutched in her hand.
A/N: The details of Robert and Sarah April's story come from the Memory Alpha and Memory Beta sites.