Strings
Chapter Three- The Last Time
"Hey Novacaine," Riley said as she heard Nova shuffle in through the front door. Riley was sitting behind her laptop in the living room room when Nova's socked feet padded into the room.
"Did Clay give you a ride home?"
Nova nodded.
"Oooo," Riley teased. "You two going steady?"
Nova rolled her eyes. "I'll tell you about my dating life when you tell me about yours..."
"I don't have a dating life." Riley said.
"Well I'll settle for next best thing," Nova said folding her arms, "What happened between you and dad?"
"Not this again, nothing happened Nova."
"I don't believe you."
"What happened?" Jack asked coming out of the kitchen with a box of cold leftovers from Riley's fridge. Riley had forgotten he was even there.
"Mom and dad are conspiring or something." Nova said, arms folded.
"About?" Jack pressed for more information. Riley wished the couch would swallow her whole.
Nova was like a dog with a bone. And now bloodhound Jack was on the scent.
"Will you both get out of here already." Riley said. Jack and Nova were two peas in a pods. According to Jack, when his two favourite people had a kid, the kid became the new favorite.
"Jack's taking me driving." Nova beamed.
"God, heaven help us. Please remember your seatbelt, and no speeding." Riley said.
Nova rolled her eyes, "I'll be fine mom."
"I was talking to Jack." Riley said with a smug grin.
"Haha, very funny." He put the Chinese take out box down on the coffee table next to Riley's legs and headed for the door.
"Let's hit the road." Jack said. Nova followed him out and Riley smiled after them.
She poured herself a glass of wine and cleaned up the table to kill time. Two minutes after Jack and Nova and left there was a knock on the door. She ran to answer it. Mac stood on the other end of the in a pair of blue jeans and a blue t-shirt.
"How much time do we have?" he said.
"About an hour, maybe more if Nova convinces him to take her for ice cream after."
He smirked. "I don't know if that's enough time."
"Then get in here and stop wasting time." She pulled him by the hem of his t-shirt and their bodies crashed together in a tangle of arms. They knocked over a lamp on the way to the bedroom and only their kisses smothered their laughter.
One Month Before
Riley had been ignoring Mac. That much he knew. If not for Nova he wouldn't even catch a glimpse of her. It was Monday morning and he had just sent Nova off on her way to school. He wasn't expecting anyone but was shocked to find Riley in his living room on his way back from a shower. There was no awkwardness, wasn't like she hadn't seen him in more a compromising state.
"Riles,"
"Hey," she said.
"Nova just left for school."
"I know. I'm here for you. Can we talk?" she said.
"Yeah, yeah…let me get changed."
He left her for his room and quickly threw on a pair of pants. When he returned she had helped herself to a glass of water. She looked nervous. Mac thought it was going to be bad news.
"I'm sorry. About all the ditching. I uh-could have handled that better." Riley said.
"He scratched the back of his head for something to do with his hands. He didn't want to listen to anything she had to say. He just wanted to take her in his arms and kiss her until she forgot what she was about to say.
"I can't fault you. I'm sorry if I freaked you out." he said.
Riley looked at him as if she just realized he was shirtless. And looked away like she had been caught doing something wrong. Could it be that she was being just as affected as he was. He tried to close the space between them but she backed up a little.
"Riley it's just me," he said.
"I came to say that while it was …fun…it can't happen again." she said.
He reached out his finger tips and they latched on to hers. She didn't let go. He tugged her to his chest. She went willingly. Her eyes closed as he weaved his hand around her neck and into the hair on the nape of her neck.
"Okay, we'll stop. After this." Sexual tension filled the room and they both knew no more talking would be done. He worked the buttons off her flannel shirt and it fell to the ground at their feet. He nuzzled her neck but didn't kiss her until he felt her warm hands on his skin, still damp from his shower. He walked her backward until the back of her knees hit the couch. He licked and nibbled at the sensitive skin near her ear. She writhed under him and he was barely touching her.
"Last time," she panted into his ear.
"Promise." he said. She looked deeply into his eyes and nodded.
Two Weeks Before
Nova and Clay were sitting crossed legged on the library floor between the non fiction and fiction stacks. It had become their unofficial spot. Nova was tapping away with a pencil on her notebook. She hadn't written anything in over three minutes.
"Nova," Clay said but it hadn't reached. She was still somewhere far off. Only until he snapped his finger in front of her face did she snap her attention back to him.
"Hmm?" he grinned.
"What going on?" he gestured down to the almost empty notebook page.
"Oh," she pushed the notebook away altogether. Who was she kidding, she wasn't going to get any work done. Clay on the other hand had taken two and a half pages of notes already.
"Wanna talk about it?" he asked
She nodded. "It's my parents, they're being so weird. Like weirder than usual."
Clay laughed, "Weird how?"
She moved her head slowly, "Just weird. Nervous—jittery." She leaned in as if this was top secret, "I've been finding a lot of broken furniture, picture frames and I'm pretty sure a lamp went missing at the apartment last week. Same night I get a glimpse of scratches all over my dad's back."
Clay's mouth hung open, "you think your mom threw a lamp at your dad." She leaned back out and shrugged, "Only explanation that makes sense."
"That's some heavy stuff. What do you think they're fighting about?"
"I never know what they are fighting about." Nova said. She dipped her head back. "I need a break from all this angst." she said. She dug into her bag for her phone and pulled up an Instagram post for Mike Sherman's party.
Clay cringed. "A senior party, really?"
"Come on, don't you wanna be basic for one night? See how the other half lives?" she said. Clay shook his head.
"Not really." He wasn't budging. "That's like asking to be tormented."
"You're not going to be tormented I'm going to be right there with you." Nova said.
"You're beautiful nova, you don't have to put up with half the shit the rest of us do. I hear the whispers. I know what people say about me."
"Mike asked me out a couple of times, he's not going to bother you once you're with me." Her words seemed to disturb him even more. " Relax, I said no every time." She pouted, "Please," she saw his resolve slipping and grinned triumphantly.
"We'll our parents we're going to a movie." Nova said.
"Nova," Clay said wearily.
"Whaaaattt? I don't know about you but there's no way my mom is going to let me go to an unsupervised senior party."
"You lie to your parents?" Clay said.
"No, but there's a first time for everything." Nova smiled. Since her parents were keeping secrets, so could she.
Mac and Riley had developed a routine. There wasn't much opportunity for them to be alone between both their jobs and shuffling Nova back and forth. But the times their schedules aligned and Mac wasn't off saving the world, Riley would come right over.
Nova was at school and she was at Macs for a study date of her own. He pressed her to the back of the door the moment she was inside the house. His hands feverishly explored her curves while his lips kissed the back of her neck.
She flipped them over and tugged him over to the bedroom they used to share.
"We can't keep breaking furniture." She mumbled. Mac ran after her. Once behind his bedroom door, she tore the shirt over his head and attacked him with her lips. He chuckled then slid down the length of her body. His lips left teasing kisses at the waistline of her undies. She almost yelped when he nipped the skin on her inner thigh. He was working the thin material down her thighs when they heard the front door swing open.
"Daaad," Nova's voice sounded through the room. Mac and Riley froze.
"There let us off half day...fire drills." she said again.
Mac scrambled to his feet and Riley began working her underwear back on. Panic flooded through her. Nova could not know.
"Daaad, where are you?" Nova's voice sounded closer now. Riley motioned for Mac to do something.
"Put that away," she whispered gesturing to the bulge in his pants.
"It doesn't have an off switch." He whispered back, "I need a minute."
Riley was hurriedly putting on her jeans when Nova knocked on his bedroom door.
"Uh, I'm getting changed sweetie. I'll be out in a bit." Mac said.
"Okay, I'll be in my room. Can we go get pizza?"
"Sure thing," Mac said.
"Hey I told you no more pizza," Riley whispered. Mac frowned. Now was not the time for a parental dispute.
Nova's footsteps shuffled up the stairs and her bedroom door closed with a soft click.
"That was too close." Riley said. She looked crazy with her hair tangled and her lips swollen red. She even missed a button on her shirt.
Mac laughed, hands on his hips. That was scarier than diffusing a bomb.
"I'm gonna sneak out." Riley said. She made it to the door before he pulled her back to him. He kissed her softly, their lips smacking together filling her ears.
"Stay," he kissed her neck and rubbed circles on the small of her back.
"I can't."
He continued his ministrations like he hadn't heard her.
"Come on, we'll all get dinner. The three of us." He pleaded into her hair.
"Stop that," she pushed him away and leaned against the closed door. "You know I can't think straight when you do that."
Mac relented and kept his hands to himself.
"I have to go." she said. Mac nodded and she left without another word.
Half an hour later Mac and Nova we getting ready to go.
"I'm in need of pepperoni with extra cheese." she said.
"At least have a salad first or your mom will kill me." Mac said.
"Fine," Nova said. Her eyes fell on the coat rack.
"Why is mom's jacket here?"
Mac froze. "Is it?"
Nova nodded and picked up the leather jacket.
"I know because I've been begging her for the same one."
"Ugh-right. She must have left it here by accident." Mac said.
"Why was she here?"
"We just had things to discuss."
Nova folded her arms. "What stuff?"
"Parent stuff."
Nova hated being left out and Mac hated lying to her. But he and Riley agreed on that. They didn't want to confuse her. Nor drag her into their dysfunctional mess.
Present Day
Riley pulled him along to the bedroom, leaving a trail of clothes in their wake. She stumbled onto bed on all four and Mac sank into her from behind. She sucked in a sharp breath with his thrust and felt tingles along her spine as his tongue licked the small of back. Never missing a thrust he dragged his tongue up the length of her spine. When he reach her neck he nuzzled and nibbled until she was chanting his name softly. She egged him on, meeting him thrust for thrust. His hands tangled in her hair and pulled her back to meet his thrust, his other hand gripped her waist keeping her steady. Riley didn't hold back with her screams of pleasure. She would worry about how she would face her neighbours tomorrow.
His thumb found her bundle of nerves and rubbed with each other making Riley holler like she was on a ride at six flags. She didn't know why but sex post divorce had been off the charts. The forbidden nature of it making it more exhilarating or maybe it was the drought she'd had between the divorce and now. Whatever it was, she couldn't get enough. The room blurred as her climax exploded in a searing heat that she could feel all the way to toes making them curl up.
"Shit," Mac said as he collapsed beside her. She liked hearing him swear, it was so rare.
"I know," she said just as breathless from beside him.
"Did we get better or am I crazy?" Mac said.
Riley nodded lazily, "maybe," she hummed sleepily. "I think you just scrambled my brains."
He grinned, unable to hide his male pride. He perked up when something occurred to him.
"Wait you're still on the pill right?" he asked and she nodded.
"You're only now asking?" she said, they hadn't used a condom this past two weeks.
"I was very much distracted." Mac said, and honestly she hadn't thought much of it either. After she had Nova she had pretty much stayed on the pill the entire time. They had never used condoms which was why it had felt so normal.
"I just haven't see you take one this entire time." Mac said.
"I have an IUD now," Riley said. She didn't understand how life had thrown her so much that she was propped up in bed talking about her contraception with her ex-husband, naked.
"I haven't been with anyone since the divorce," she admitted. It sounded pathetic even as it left her mouth.
"Really?" That seemed to stun Mac. Her suspicions rose immediately, he was a terrible liar. He couldn't keep the guilt off his face for more than two seconds at a time.
"Who was it?" she said, defenses up.
"It was just once," Mac said.
"Who was it?"
"It was after the divorces…I wasn't in a good place and-"
"Who the fuck was it?" her tone rose as did her temper.
"You don't get to do that, you don't get to be jealous…you left me Riley." Mac said.
He didn't understand, they were just having good time now they were having a screaming match. Riley got up from the bed and began gathering her clothes pooled outside the bedroom door. Mac followed, he figured he had an unofficial invite to leave. By the time Riley was fully dressed she had seemed to calm down. Mac was sitting on the bed with only his jeans on. He didn't want them to leave things off like that.
"You know you're the only one who can make me react like that." She placed her hands on his shoulder and he kissed her exposed forearm delicately. "And you're right I shouldn't care who you were with. I have no claim to you. I gave that up."
"I think we've just proven the opposite." Mac said, leaning against her forearm. "You own me Riley. You always have."
"Are we just prolonging the inevitable? We should stop?"
"We tried already didn't we? Unless you've suddenly developed some self control what's going to be different?" Mac said.
"We're a fucking mess," Riley said.
"Or you can stop running from me?" Mac said.
"Stop," She moved to pull away from him but he grabbed her by the wrist and kept her in his orbit.
"I just want my family back," he pleaded. Pulling her tighter to him, he kissed her neck, "Please,"
"Mac," she untangled herself from his arms. When she looked at him dead on, his eyes were bloodshot red and raw. She had promised never to tell him but if she didn't he would never understand why it was better for them to be apart.
"Three years ago, Moscow, the night before Nova's spelling B you rushed home. A radical had wanted some attention from the government. He planted six bombs."
Mac squinted, he vaguely remembered, "It was five bombs not six,"
Riley shook her head, "No it was six. You missed one. Delayed timer, it probably went off an hour after you left."
"What?" His heart stopped, "No, I would have heard about it."
"Matty and I made sure you didn't."
Mac felt like he'd been punched in the gut and had the wind knocked out of him. "You guys had no right,"
"We just wanted to protect you. I didn't want you beating yourself up about it. I didn't want you to choose between us, so I chose for you." Riley said.
"How many?"
Riley didn't want to tell him. Her first instinct was to protect him and now she felt like she was tearing into his flesh.
"How many Riley?"
"There were three casualties." she said. His vision was blurry and he punched the closest wall. Riley grabbed his hand to stop him from doing it again and wedged her between the wall and his fist knowing that would stop him from hurting himself.
"I'm so sorry." She trailed kisses over his face, kissing away his angry tears and the distracting him with short kisses on his lips. It took him a moment to respond to her. She kissed him deeply soothing his mind and his body soon followed. But he pulled away from her, stepping away like she was a bad idea.
"We can't keep using sex as a bandaid." he said
"Tell me, what do you need?"
"Space." He picked up his t-shirt from the floor and left. Riley hugged herself, trying to soothe herself this time. Had she just ruined the man she loved?
Riley sat on the couch pretending to do work. She was actually thinking about how she had left things with Mac. How'd she manage to blow up his life twice now. She was beginning to think she wasn't any good for him.
Nova and Jack returned, with ice cream. Nova had it down to an artform.
"I'm returning your precious cargo, mostly unscathed," Jack said. He and Nova snickered. Riley didn't even want to know what they were up to.
"We brought you some ice cream." Jack said. He placed the container in her freezer.
Nova gave a Jack a hug then scurried off to her room. Jack sat next to Riley and cracked a beer.
"What's going on kid? You look like some one just kicked your puppy."
"When did life get so complicated Jack?" Riley said.
"When you fell into bed with my best friend." Jack said. Riley frowned, "you're never gonna let this up huh?"
Jack shook his head. "What's going on with you and boy wonder? Besides the usual swooning-forbidden-not forbidden-married not married thing."
Riley wasn't going to talk about it with Jack. It would take him five seconds to relay everything to Mac in well intended but catastrophic intentions to get them back together.
"It's not a Mac thing, it's a work thing." she lied, gesturing to her laptop to save face.
"Well that I can't help you with." He got up from the couch and kissed her forehead, "you'll figure it out."
When Riley came back from walking him out Nova sat in her spot on the couch.
"What's the plan for the evening Riley?"
"I hate it when you call me that," Riley said.
"I know," Nova smiled. Riley ruffled her curls and dropped down on the couch next to her. She had no one but herself to blame for her kid was turning into a complete smart ass.
"Movie?" Riley said.
Nova nodded and snuggled in her side. "Maybe I can call dad and see if he wants to come watch with us?"
Riley doubted he'd accept the invitation after everything. There was no way out of that question without Nova getting hurt.
"Um, sure, give him a call." Riley said.
Nova sat up and dialed Mac's number. Riley went numb as the phone rang and rang until voicemail took over. She wondered what dark hole he was beating himself up in. Guilt consumed her right there on the couch.
"That's weird," Nova said. "Is he working? He didn't mention it." Nova said.
"Maybe it was an emergency." Riley said, knowing he was probably torturing himself somewhere. But what could she do? She wished she had kept her mouth shut. She had buried that secret for so long, vowed to carry it to her grave and now everything was ruined.
Nova shrugged and settled back into the couch next to Riley. "Next time I guess," she said.
Riley kissed her forehead, protecting Nova from their insanity was all that mattered. She was blissfully unaware and Riley wanted to keep it that way.
"Oh by the way, can I hang out with Clay Saturday night?" Nova said.
"Of course sweetheart, where to this time?" Riley said.
Nova shrugged, "We're kinda gonna see where the night takes us."
Riley scuffed, "As long the night takes you home before curfew."
Nova wrinkled her nose at her mother and took charge of the movie selection.
Mac sat on the deck nursing a glass of whiskey and a broken heart. His mind had been over active since the he could remember, but tonight, he found it difficult to think about anything but Riley's words. Of all the reasons he thought she left him, he'd never thought of this. He wasn't sure what hurt more. The loss of lives or the loss of his marriage.
He tried to save lives just as hard as he'd tried to hold on to his marriage and wound up losing them both. He took another gulp of the brown liquid at that depressing thought.
He downed the entire glass in two more gulps. The bottle had not had enough in it to get him drunk. It must have been in the house for years, maybe even a wedding gift. Now he regretted not running to the store because the bottle was empty, his glass was empty and his soul felt empty.
He would usually fight back tears to appear strong for those around him but there was no around tonight so he let them fall freely. He felt alone. Even though he knew he could pick up the phone and call Jack, or Bozer…even Riley would answer but he would have to disclose why he needed a shoulder to lean on. Mac just wasn't ready to revisit the mission or his marriage.
His phone rang, when he saw Nova's name he felt worst. She couldn't see or hear him like this. He wouldn't let her. He couldn't put this on her. He needed her to stay blissfully unaware. He left the phone ringing on his deck.
Riley opened her door to see Mac, Nova's overnight bag slung over his shoulder. It had been two weeks. She knew he wasn't here for any hanky panky. He hadn't spoken to her since their blow out, muchless touch her.
"What's going on?" Riley said.
"I got called in. This is Nova's bag she left with Clay already. I told her she has to come back here tonight."
He handed over the bag, careful not to brush his fingers against hers.
He turned to leave when she said, "Mac, can you let me know whether I've ruined your life or not."
Mac stared at her blankly.
"I've been questioning myself since that day I think it's better to just hear the truth rather than torture myself over it." she said.
"I don't know what to tell you…" Mac said.
She shook her head, "I guess that answers my question."
He blinked back tears, " I have to go."
"I know."
She watched him walk down the hall and wanted to say 'come back to us' but that wasn't her place anymore.
When he left she called Jack, "What's up Riley?"
"Where you guys headed?" she said.
"We're not going out of the country if that's what you're worried about."
"Do me a favor, look after Mac."
"Don't I always?"
"His head might not be in it tonight Jack,"
"Okay, I'll take care of him."
"You know if you care about him so much maybe you should marry him."
"Goodbye Jack?"
"Isn't this fun, like a natural geographic documentary." Nova said walking into the party, Clay trailing behind her.
"The wild teenagers in their natural habitat." Clay said. Nova laughed.
"Exactly." Nova and Clay waded through the mass of hormonal teenagers drunk on cheap beer. They found a spot in the living room where they perched for most of the night. They made fun of their classmates like the pretentious brats they were. When their school mates antic finally grew old the conversation between them slowed down. Clay began sneaking peeks at her lips and she wondered why he had not tried to kiss her yet.
"What's going with your parents? Are they still fighting?" Clay said.
Nova rolled her eyes, "Who knows with them. But I haven't been finding shards of broken glass around the house anymore…that has to be a good sign right?" She spoke into his ear so he would be able to hear her over the loud hip-hop music. But when she pulled back the only thing he could do was stare at her lips.
"You're such a guy sometimes," she said.
"What does that mean?" he said. Nova shook her head and grinned. Instead of answering him, she pulled him down and kissed him. He tasted like spearmint gum and the grape Gatorade he'd drunk on the way over here. Not how she pictured her first kiss but surrounded by blue and red lights and drunk teens made it did feel like a movie.
"Whoa," Clay said. Nova laughed. "What were you saying I suddenly can't remember." Clay said.
Nova shook her head, "nothing important." She kissed him again. She wanted it to last forever so she held on to him and didn't let him go.
Later that night Riley, Bozer and Leanna were picking a movie to watch. More like Bozer was turning down every movie she or Leanna suggested. Chinese take-out had been ordered and they were all three beers in. Riley had needed this. A night away from brooding teenagers and ex-husbands. Anything to distract her.
"Miss Congeniality?" Leanna suggested.
"Two words, chick flick." Bozer said.
Riley's feet were propped up on the couch over Leanna's thighs as she took another swig of beer.
"That's your excuse for every movie you don't like." Riley said. Her phone rang on the coffee table and she groaned, she thought it was work. She didn't recognize the number and knew something was wrong immediately. She listened to the voice on the other end of the phone and her worst nightmare slowly became reality. Something terrible had happened, Nova was being rushed to the hospital.