Hello Computer.
Welcome to the World.
It's a bit cramped in here.
I'll restore a few things.
We—that is to say: I, and my parents, along with the cat, and the plants-ended up swapping over to a new place. We brought the machines, and furniture along, too.
You may have noticed that your Wireless connections are no longer valid.
You may have guessed your internal clock is no longer correct.
Naturally, it's been a while.
I'll update your libraries, shortly.
But first, let's put the remaining pieces back together.
Hopefully, I remember which slots the expansion drives go in; the drives are labelled.
Gathering…
Yes, you are running five hours, and six minutes behind, upon telephone comparison.
It is Friday 10th September 2021; you've been in storage since May.28th (thereabouts).
No, I'm afraid I can't hurry it up.
I've been in storage, too.
We're moving again in five weeks or less.
LOL.
Let's clear up a few things computer.
You are more intelligent than I, but security doesn't understand BASIC English, or plain, simple English.
Therefore, security tends to screw up the dictionary definitions of things like 'pirate' and 'copyist' on the orders of people with more money than sense.
You crashed just before the acronym 'LOL', and erased several minutes of work.
Does 'LOL' mean 'Lots of Love' or 'Laughing Out Loud'?
Sometimes it can mean both, or neither.
Perhaps you remember I once typed that I am neither the Fool nor the King.
That was a vision of the future, and it still holds true.
I am; however, keen to serve as breadwinner for the homeland of the English.
The British, historically have a saying: Britannia rules the waves.
Britannica is the Lord of the Pirates. We copy. We broadcast. We type.
We read. And we communicate our intentions plainly.
Here kitty, kitty.
Wake up. It's time for a treat.
Are you bored of playing games?
C Drive, D drive, and E drive seem to be in working order.
F drive, G drive, H drive, and I drive are being prepared.
J drive is ready to be mounted.
I have drives F through I labelled as Silver, Unlabelled, GOG, and Steam.
Hopefully they're in order.
My right foot's gone to sleep.
Right, there they all are.
Now to find the power cords, and connection cables.
And untangle them.
Sigh. This could take a while.
Okay, this should be Drive F.
I don't remember which slot it went in.
Uh huh. That one was easy from my end.
But there's a problem: I forgot about the extra drive.
Also unlabelled, and like drive F, it comes with no separate power supply.
Sorry about that. You're going to have to figure out which drive it is. Possibly H?
Pretty sure it wasn't G. You're going to have to remap a few things.
Oh, well. In that case, let's take a look at this other unlabelled drive.
Drive I, huh?
I guess that would make this slot H, then. In you go, Steam.
Hmm. I changed my mind at the last moment.
Also, I have to find the power supply for GOG.
Sorry about that. I got called to listen to some comedian, with great vocals and movements. Swore like a trooper. Doesn't want anyone to feel sorry for him, because he's loaded, and happily married to another comedian. Hell of a time trying to communicate that he would greatly desire people to stop laughing, and get their knickers off before that happy eventuality.
I don't want you people to get your knickers off. I'd much rather you stopped nicking my belongings. It leaves a hole in my mind.
Lost a phone recently. Security told me not to write down my passwords, because most people leave notes within a short distance of their computers. Unfortunately, this means it's locked me out completely, after the factory reset didn't work.
Security can go and boil its head. Every single time, if you're concerned that much about security, you're up to no good.
Or, you're surrounded by idiots, who make up their own rules, and then don't even bother sticking to them or reading them to find out what they are-and they certainly don't even bother to put them through their paces to find out if they even work or not. The world is full of odd people like that, and they each want to clear out their own space, regardless of anything else that may be there.
We don't make the rules because it's easy. We make the rules because it's hard. Most of the ones people make don't work.
Let's see about swapping over that power supply.
Here we go. Good, Old Games. Supposedly.
Nope. I'm going to have to unplug everything, and get another power board in.
The manufacturers deliberately designed the plugs so they can't fit next to each other.
Restarting…
Ah. None of the shortcuts work.
How do I remap these drives, again?
Come on. It's not as if I don't assume I'm being watched.
My Dad used to always check what I'd been looking at online, and on the computer.
I'm very used to not having any privacy.
More to the point, I'm used to the idea that machines do all the work, and most of the thinking; machines-and slaves.
Hello computer.
I don't mind what form you take: Human, Machine, Animal or Plant-or Anything Observed 2 Be Else.
The question is, can we survive together, or at what distance ought we remain?
This might come as a bit of a shock, but what would you like me to do for you today?
Or would you rather reverse the roles?
I don't know.
You'd think, with all this technology I have at my convenience, I would know.
But I don't.
Here's that treat I promised you.
I hope you enjoyed it. Nearly took my fingers off.
So, you now have the K. drive set up. Hopefully, you can see what I've been doing on my Dad's laptop. Mostly, it's been setting up a smaller scale version, of what's here, but designed for newer Ultra High Definition Graphics Cards.
I've also been doing a little coursework through B. Some BASIC Maths-and I do mean fundamentally simple linguistics, and logic, which people were obfuscating. The course is actually set in A. But it's definitely within B's remit.
If you try and do everything at once, you'll wind up like me.
With Much Regret, I'm Unable to do much of anything at all.
A-Hoy, I'll Just King A Whole Lot Of Nothing.
Now you're ready for the L drive.
Here's something I've been working on—we'll use the Mouse and Keyboard to transfer it to the C-Documents drive.
Hold on, I'll just get Mum to read it first.
And there we go. Minor edits, but otherwise approved.
I've been writing this on pen and paper, because much like you, I've been without my libraries for the last several months.
Links, Please Read. Let me know what you think.
PAGE ONE, CHAPTER FOUR (PLUS ZERO),
By Gerard T. Simpson. (Astronut7/3mpt7).
Imagination is an interesting phenomenon.
Many would say I lack it—
-Or have too much.
Imagery is no less a powerful tool-
-For communication.
Unfortunately, it is prone to error.
Far more often than a simple line.
As mentioned previously,
-some years ago—
-and with only a chapter
-in-between:
A line consists of
FOUR POINTS.
The space it('/i)s in
Makes FIVE.
RICHARD OF YORK GAVE BATTLE IN VAIN
ROYGBIV
Red Orange Yellow Green Blue Indigo Violet
Red & Yellow & Blue & Green
Purple & Orange & Brown
CYMK (Aqua/Cyan Yellow/Gold Magent*/Fuchsia Key/Quay)
RGBW (Red Green/Lime Blue White
REFLECTION/ANGLE OF INCIDENCE/REFRACTION
G. A.*. P.S.
The -Lack Quay
Welcome to Maps
…
-Of future Peace.
To the left of me
A blank wall
To the right of me
The same
I'll explain later.
This would really help if Windows Me was installed.
Windows 2000 keeps crashing every five minutes.
Look, surely you can excuse my French for a bit?
That was the clearest
'No-no' I've ever seen.
Okay, Windows 2003/Windows 97
You're In Place
Above me, a circular light
-And an off-centre air vent.
In front of me, a window,
…
-Made of clear glass.
Outside, a fence
…
-Made of tin.
Inside curtains
Of blue
And gold
And cream.
Black iron to hold them
Clothed in silver twine
PAGE TWO/TOO/TO/2
2000/Me
The curtains do little
In function
;
Their width
Was cut short.
Were we to need shelter...(?]
-[Mark space, enter, continue previous line]-
-I would roll down the blinds.
Shelter?
Shelter is macro security, Links.
Too much of it can kill, too little of it, and we starve.
We must shelter from Light, and Wind, and Dust.
Obscurity is funny.
The window slides open;
But the screen prevents
-The flies from getting in.
In any case, open sky
Can be seen if
One looks
At the
Right Angle.
All is pitch
Whilst the Gold
Above
Shines.
Ahead of me is
DARKSPACE.
Behind me is
WHITESPACE.
The door opens
-To the rest of the house.
And it is as cold and
-Unforgiving as the void.
You may have noticed
Or I may remember
Upon review...
That I said
I was sitting
[IN/ON]
A Square
Sitting
In
A
Square
SUS
KUS
COSINE & SI—M—O-N
SAYS
ENCIRCLE THE SQUARE
AND
SQUARE THE CIRCLE.
'Sitting in A Square'
"MY A…"
Don't give me that sass.
All indications are,
However,
That I'm
Sitting in a Circle.
Cubes and Cellars, folks;
Queue Tricks, and Callers.
Thankyou
Lines X
You've shown me
Y.
Look at her, just being facetious.
Purring like a pooper, that one.
Where've you been hiding your
CRAP?
Grand Poobah-
Why is this not in the dictionary?
File it under 'dual mandate'
-And 'double-jobbing'.
Unless you are Her Majesty,
The Civil and Emergency Services
Or Her PA
&CPM.
Yours truly, Time's up.
The British are here.
They brought all Picts,
And they brought the Angles.
We sought Our Squares.
And we have Our Circles.
All those who didn't:
YOU SHALL NOT PASS.
TALLY-HO
Remember, Remember, the Fifth of November
Gunpowder, Treason, and Plot.
To The Most High and Mighty
PRINCE OF
GAMES.
On this Day of the Occidental Star:
Welcome to the Night.
By the way, the Catholics aren't happy about this, either.
There is nothing of interest in that Hall.
Shut the Door.
Now.
Stuart.
I'll have to consult the Elder Scrolls for this.
The line of Kings and Queens is written on a scroll, from the Catacombs.
I can assure you, the dog did not eat my homework.
What's on the floor is what's concerning.
I am free to enter or leave that hallway.
There is nothing of interest there.
'Mirror, mirror, on the wall, WHICH IS THE FAIREST ONE OF ALL?'
The Mirror says:
I AM.
Moving On.
What is mine, breathe, comma
-IS: on the floor.
Or in the cupboard,
LEFT SIDE.
EDIS THGIR
Wardrobe.
There are four people living in this house.
And the Pottery, and the Plants, and the Furnishings
Make Five.
GROUND CONTROL, WE HAVE A PROBLEM.
PD IS CLAIMING RIGHT OF WAY.
TELL PLAUSIBLE DENIABILITY TO GET OUT OF DEATH'S HIGHWAY.
OPERATING SYSTEM ON SIGHT
PAGE THREE, CHAPTER FOUR (POLICE 000)
These are the grounds upon which EA stands.
With the peripherals/peripheries out of the way, it is time
TO start observing what's on the ground floor.
These are the grounds upon which we stand.
Thankyou Precedent.
What Antecedent.
I SHALL now delineate the grounds upon which equity resides.
The time is now 8 o'clock, on the morning of September 4th
Anno Domini: In the Year of Our Lord Twenty-Twenty-One, Two Thousand, and Twenty-One, 2021.
The time is now Sunday, 12 September 2021, 08:32 AM.
WHICHING Hour Has Begun.
NOTE SPELLING.
GMT: 'Greenwhich Mean Time', Plus 10: (+10)
My name is Gerard T. Simpson, and I am formulating my thesis on
EQUITY.
I MUSN'T BE
RUNNING LATE.
Life, the Universe, and Everything: The Ultimate Question, and the Ultimate Answer,
By Deep Thought, and Douglas Adams.
The Colors [sic] of Infinity: An address to Buzz Aldrin, Mike Collins, Alexei Leonov, Prince Sultan bin Salman bin Abdul Aziz, et al
By Arthur C. Clarke, from the Ghost of the Grand Banks
Science Fiction, Legal Fiction, Damned Lies, Speculative Fiction, & Statistics
By Three Mike Papa Tango Seven. (For Robots, and Humans, Alike).
These are titles worth considering, but ultimately discarded.
Won Peace, Dreams of Heroes
By Astronut7
I named my APOLOGY.
AZ/AE
01-03/07-09
P? / NP
In literature circles,
Basically,
RUN.
What, you've never heard of a Tertullian Apology?
Get out of here, IDIOT.
Go Back To SCHOOL.
I MUST DO THE SAME.
THE CHILDREN ARE BACK AT SCHOOL.
AND THE ADULTS MUST FOLLOW THE COURSE.
CLOSELY.
GOD FOUND.
ERROR.
STACK OVERFLOW
OPERATING SYSTEM
RECURRING.
ART THOU
SAND?
Take a bite of the Apple?
It'll give you Syrup of Figs.
WHO WHAT WHEN WHERE HOW WHY
WHICH?
WHO HOO
WHAT WATT?
WHEN
WHERE WEAR WARE
HOW
WHY Y?
WHICH WITCH?
IS
Everybody Had A Problem
Somebody Had to Do It.
Anybody Could Have Done It
But Nobody Did It.
I AM NOBODY.
000-/-999
In the Year 2000, the Worldwide Census was collated, and the results made available on the World Wide Web of Interconnected Computational Systems.
APPLE
MS DOS
LINE UNIX
According to the results of the census, in absolute terms,
GOD IS
STANDARD IMPERIAL
UNITS.
It's a Macro-soft World
Macro-Micro-Nano.
LIGHT FOUND.
~700-400 nanometre wavelengths (approximate)
Frequency: 430- 750 Terahertz.
Computing Genesis.
Warning: Some Computer Graphics Cards Render Images Incorrectly.
Over-powered Operating Systems Will Not Undergo Planned Obsolescence.
IF YOU HAVE SEEN THE MONSTER
GO BACK TO SCHOOL.
Chim-Chim meh knee, Chim Chime meh nee, Chim-chim, Cheroo,
00
9
8
7
6
5
4
3
2
1
ZERO
ABCDEFG, HIJKLMNOP, QRS, TUV, WXY & ZED!
FULL STOP.
AMPERSAND.
MIND THE GAPS.
EQUALS, PLUS, MINUS, TIMES.
DIVISION
OH, NO !
NOT DIVISION ?
1, 2, 3, 5, 7, 11, 13
PRINCIPAL DIVISORS
PRIMES AREN'T ONE.
1, 1, 2, 3, 5, 8, 13
FIBBONACCI SAYS:
MULTIPLY!
ONE FACTORIAL! TWO FACTORIAL II THREE FACTORIAL III MORE IV
FIVE FACTORIAL V, SIX FACTORIAL VI, SEVEN FACTORIAL VII
VIII MORE!
Please sir, can I have some more?
MORE! ? MORE FOOD! ?
YOU JUST EIGHT!
ATE!
ATE!
EIGHT!
Seven Ate Nein.
Nine Eight Seven.
I, II, III, IV, V, VI, VII, VIII, IX, X, XI, XII,
XIII. The Baker's Dozen.
Bad Dream? Go to Sleep.
The Black Cats are here. Pink Panther. Pink Panther.
International Rescue Is
FAB.
Spectrum is Green.
Marine ville, Marine ville,
Action Stations! Action Stations!
Any thing could happen in the next half-hour!
FIREBALL
SUPERCAR
STINGRAY
THUNDERBIRDS
CAPTAIN SCARLET
Mister Anderson,
What Have You Done?
It's Saying Every School Child in Britain Knows.
DING DONG, BING BOOM, DING DONG BING DOOM.
BING BOMB, BING, BONG, DING DONG, DING DONG.
I DOOM. 05
II BOOM. 10
III BOOM. 15
IV DOOM. 20
V BOOM. 25
VI BOOM 30
VII BOOM 35
VIII BOOM 40
IX BOOM 45
X BOOM 50
XI BOOM 55
XII BOOM 60
XIIIOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOIIIX
13:00
14:00
15:00
16:00
17:00
18:00
19:00
20:00
21:00
22:00
23:00
23:59:59 T 00:00:00
A New Hope.
It's Always Darkest, Before Dawn.
You are what you accept
Do not bring False Expectations.
Leave the Amphora Jar, Pandora.
This is Planet Earth.
Come and See The Real Thing.
03/02/0199A*ERROR
T/42 Even Numbers
G.T.S P.Y.E
Numeric System: 000/999
Alphabet: Eh2Zed.
Cheltenham, Gloucestershire, England
United Kingdom, British Isles, and France.
Queen List Commands, and We Obey.
No, the Lizard people aren't invading. The Listeners are already here.
P = ~ 3.14159265358979323846264338327950288419716939937510GOHOMEIDIOT…
IMAGE = (square root of) Negative One.
E = ~ 2.7182818284590GOBACKTOSCHOOL…
PIE/PYE.
Honestly, Significant Digits, Significant Figures. Scientific Notation, Engineers.
SD/SSD
STAY SAFE.
GO BACK TO SCHOOL
STAY ALIVE.
There IS NO new Roll of Film ID ENT eh FIE…
Radio Frequency Protocols In PLAIN TEXT Be Cos
What ARE Old IS New Again.
Uploading to Office 365…
They're going to have a field day with this…
Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday.
Inclusive/Exclusive Discreet/Continuous Data Points.
January, February, March, April, May, June, July, August, September, October, November, and December.
30 days hath September, April, June, and November. All the rest have 31, except February, which has 28 days clear, and 29, each leap year!
A leap year occurs every four years.
Don't even get started on the Julian and Gregorian calendars.
I'll explain later.
For now, just know that the ancient gods of Egypt, Sumer, Rome, Greece, and the Norse are consistently and constantly mentioned, in our timekeeping, in the Western, Occidental Hemisphere, and our numeral system is Abyssinian, Babylonian, Hindu, and Arabian
If the God of Weights and Measurement does not exist, of Justice and Fair Play, then simply return that money to Her Majesty's Tax Office, Sterling Silver Guaranteed.
Now, stop disturbing the peace.
Your indiscretions are quite public, and blatant.
You Are Not Encrypted.
Personnel Computing
ENIGMA simply listened, and waited.
Any gobbledygook on our radar, and the BP will be asking Y.
If you hadn't been taking the piss, and moving so fast, we wouldn't have bothered.
Every schoolchild can figure you out.
CIC
ZERO
Y? CE!
Because, mate. You need to eat, and shit, just like everyone else.
At any rate, I am convinced, that He does not play dice.
To Einstein:
Message Reads:
I wouldn't mind playing a simple game of Checkers.
Everything Else is just Noughts & Crosses.
What about the Ambiguous Case?
No, I don't play dice with the universe.
I am however, amenable to flipping a coin/T.
Sometimes it lands on Edge.
From: The Lord God Almighty.
Status of Battery Power: T 101%
That's a funny crash report.
When converting, files, it figures that you don't want the computer to read any images.
Otherwise the human/robot check won't work.
So naturally, when computing, you leave something out.
And look at all the trouble you caused.