LOVE THAT HAS BEEN LOST CHAPTER 17
For being a few days Addison was trying to find Derek but seems like he's avoiding her. Also, it has been a few days since Addison has a headache and everything she kept dreaming about the time she met Derek and under the tree over and over again. So since Derek is avoiding her, her mission this day is to find Mark she bet he knew something. After visiting and examining her patients she went to look for Mark and she found him at the nurses' station charting which is surprising because usually, he was flirting with nurses or people who have boobs and ass. She's going to approach him when she heard someone calling her
"Addison" she turns around to see her husband walking towards her
"Hey, honey" as they both kiss "is something wrong?"
Jake shakes his head "none but I want to go to watch Shepherd and Burke's surgery, they are doing a standstill. Wanna come?"
"Yeah" they both went to the O.R gallery to watch. When they arrived it was a full pack a lot of staff wanted to watch because they're attending the interns gave them their sits, they sit at the second row. People are excited, a lot of them talking to each other about stuff that Addison didn't bother to listen just waiting to start the operation. When they see that Derek and Burke went inside the O.R everyone was quiet talking and focused on watching
"Looks like we have a lot of audiences, Dr. Shepherd," Burke said
"Yeah looks like it," Derek said as he look up to see people in the gallery, then he saw her the person he's been avoiding for the past days. He didn't know why he felt like he can't face the fact that she's recovering and remembering what they had, it hurt him because he knew he can't go back to that time so it's easy to just avoid it. He shakes his head to clear his mind because this is a difficult procedure he needs to be focused on, he turns his head to the patient
"Well everybody it's a beautiful day to save lives. Let's have fun shall we" Derek said smiling
They start operating, it was quiet at first it needed to be but further along people in the gallery start chatting so is in the O.R but Addison isn't listing all she think about was what Derek said before operating, the quote
"That quote it sounds familiar," Addison mumbled
"Honey are you okay?" Jake look at her concern
"Yeah just have a lot of things in my mind" she replied with a smile. Jake can feel that something is bothering her but he didn't push it, both Addison and Jake turn their attention back in the O.R.
Hours have passed Derek and Burke's surgery is still going, it's going smoothly as expected. Derek focuses his mind and attention on the patient's brain but occasionally glances up to the gallery checking if a certain redhead he operates and to his relief she still is.
Every time Derek glanced in the gallery Addison knowns that he was looking for her because through the interaction they had brief eye contact with each other but it made Addison uncomfortable so she shifted her attention elsewhere when it happened.
When Derek was over and done operating with the patient's brain he asked the intern that he can't remember the name who assisted him the status of the patient and it's within normal so Derek informed Burke that he works on the patient's heart.
Derek just stand back monitoring the patient's vital signs but again occasionally glanced at Addison. Up in the gallery, everyone was talking to each other while watching them, Addison and Jake were sitting and looking down in the O.R when Jake's pager went off. He check it out it was his from the E.R a pregnant woman whose water broke.
"I have to attend this" Jake informed her, he leaned to her and kiss her on the lips, it was a quick kiss and she's not having it before he leaves the gallery. Addison on the other hand stand up and follow him closely till he got to the E.R and admitted the patient ordering an intern to monitor her vitals and dilation. When he finished giving orders Addison pull him into the nearest door which is an on-call room, then she pinned him between her and the door. And from then she kissed him hungrily like a newborn desperately wanting milk, Jake returned it with the same hunger, lust, passion, and love.
"Addie as much as I love continuing this but I have a patient to attend to," Jake said as he pulls away from her lips
"I just miss you" Addison reply
"Hey, how about after shift we can go and eat somewhere fancy and maybe finish this idea of yours"
Addison smirk, she kissed him one last time "I'll be looking forward to it Dr. Reilly"
"I'll see you then Dr. Montgomery-Reilly" kiss her and lightly smack her butt. And they leave the room, Jake went to his patient and Addison didn't want to come back to the gallery, she wander around the hospital.
All the walking she did got her to the rooftop, it was her first time coming up there and she was amazed by the view, it wasn't like the view from the empire state building or the view from her beach house but it was pretty darn close. Breathing fresh air is nice up there and good thing it wasn't raining enjoying the view, Addison sat down from one of the chairs when she heard the door open and she see Meredith Grey. She seems sad and exhausted, Addison genuinely smiled at her Meredith smiled back but not genuinely, Addison motioned her to take the seat next to her because she knew that the young woman had been through enough this past few weeks
"Hello Dr. Grey" Addison greet Meredith as she approaches the bench
"Dr. Montgomery"
Long silence took over them, it was awkward for both women. They don't know each other aside from being an intern and an attending relationship or patient and doctor relationship, Addison who's not fun of awkwardness started to talk
"How are you, Dr. Grey?"
"I'm fine, You?"
"I'm good, happy even"
"Good for you" Meredith replied with a hint of sarcasm
"You wanna talk about it?" Addison observing the young woman, she's waiting for Meredith to reply but she didn't say anything "I know we're not close or have in common but you can talk to me, I'd listen, give you advice if you need it"
Meredith isn't the person who rants or talks to people she barely knows, she just keeps it inside of her till she explodes but from what Addison said she feels that she can trust her and truly care about people.
"It's just I feel lost" Meredith started "and I have no one to turn to. I have my friends but I'd feel that they wouldn't understand what I'm feeling, I have a husband who's a brilliant surgeon but I feel like he's been further away from me especially when we lost the baby" her voice cracks and she started to sob Addison place her hand on her back to comfort her "and the baby who we've been waiting for so long. I thought when I had a miscarriage it will bring us back together comforting each other but it wasn't, he buried himself in his work"
"Have you talked to him?"
Meredith shake her head "no. I just don't know how losing the child that we waited for five years I started blaming myself that it was my fault I should be more careful, take care of myself.." she break off and start sobbing
"Meredith it wasn't your fault, that could happen to anyone. I know because it's my specialty"
"I know but. I felt something missing in me, you know. Have you had a feeling like that? Like a piece of you is missing" Meredith stated turns to look at Addison starring at her, exposing her vulnerability to the older woman
"Yeah, before I haven't given it much thought" she trailed off "but lately I started feeling that"
For a moment or two, the two women enjoyed themselves in comforting silence. They might not be friends but it's oddly comforting knowing that they can understand each other.
"You can get through this Meredith" Addison said smiling
"You too Addison" Meredith return the gesture
The silence was interrupted when Addison's beeper went off and they both went to the E.R