The feeling called regrets haunted his soul as he peered down at the town one last time. What was the so evergreen called Crestmont? Well, Crestmont has been the town that held all Clay Jensen's secrets and faults. It started with Hannah Baker's tapes. Clay had a lot to regret. What is that exactly? Well, Clay regretted not being there for Hannah when she told him the rumors floating around Liberty were false. He deeply agonizes over Jeff Akins. His death shouldn't have happened. He was sure someone had something to regret too, but nothing came close to the secrets that Clay Jensen kept hidden away.
Crestmont isn't just a town - it's full of secrets that were buried under with the tapes. Crestmont is the Crestmont theater that Clay and Hannah sat by the roof sign, gazing up at the sky. Evergreen is Monet's where Tyler's photo gallery displayed. Where FML was shared for the first time between - Hannah, Jessica and Alex before things fell apart. Eisenhower Park happened to be the place Justin and Hannah shared their first kiss before the picture surfaced by Bryce Walker's devil's fingers, and where Clay Jensen listened to his tape. That tape almost made his whole life fall off that cliff until Tony stopped him. He regretted driving Zack's car that night and left for the dead, although he didn't die. He still will never forgive himself. There's many more that he regrets, but there's a list too long for that. The only girl he's ever loved died because he was afraid to love her.
As you can see Clay has regretted a lot of things he's done wrong in his life, but nothing comes close to what he said to Justin Foley. He used to hate Foley that was until he became his brother. Forever he'll be regretful about what he said to his adoptive brother. He should've never told him that his parents aren't Justin's too. He was just pissed and he'll never forget the look of complete hurt on Justin's face and his eyes will forever haunt Clay's soul. He looked as if Clay kicked a puppy in front of him over and over, and over again. And when he found Jess screaming for help while Justin was on the floor, his heart stopped. The pulsing didn't stop when he was told Justin did sex work as way to survive and never told him. He'll never forget the feeling of empty in his chest as he watched his brother's heart monitor flatline and knowing that Justin Foley-Jensen was forever gone. He'd never hear his inappropriate jokes, call him brother, do anything for Clay, and lastly be by his side when he put a gun to his head. Justin was Clay's literal ride or die. But most of all he hated that Justin died thinking that Clay didn't love him like his brother. He regretted his last words were so hateful and spiteful.
He knew his parents missed him, but Clay and Justin had a bond like no-other. Clay always had his back -no matter the consequences - Clay had been there. The same was for Justin. Whenever Clay needed him- Justin would drop what he was doing and help him out. It didn't matter if it was a simple problem or covering up Bryce's murderer. Even when Clay doubted him Justin was there. He held Justin's hand before his last few breaths, wiped his tears and whispered one more," I'm sorry, Justin,"
Back when he buried the tapes he felt a missing person. He had been there during the tapes and yet he wasn't in exist anymore. He was away with Hannah and Jeff probably rolling their eyes at him. When the school called to tell to clean out his brother's locker a crashing sound blocked him and he felt anxiety attack him. He didn't have Justin to stop the panic. He pulled out the letter that Justin wrote to get into Sanderson. The constricting feeling in his throat tightened as he tried to read on. He was who Justin Foley wrote about. He couldn't believe it. It was the unimaginable.
Who would've thought Clay and Justin? Fuck no, Clay never imagined that for a second. He didn't even think Justin Foley, former best friend to Bryce Walker knew his name, let alone cared about him enough to stick around. But that all changed when he saved Justin's life. In all truth, Justin has saved his life. His brother that's who Clay was to Justin. Clay now doesn't know how to deal with the emptiness that invaded their room. The bed where Justin used to sleep, mess around with Jessica stayed unused.
One thing Clay realized as He and Tony drive away from Crestmont - is that through all his struggles he learned that he cared so deeply for his friends. And another was that the one last reason stayed unnamed as the road behind him disappeared.
Crestmont is also Justin, his brother, protector, and will always be the brother he never knew that he needed until Hannah's tapes found their way to him.
Justin Jensen is Crestmont and forever will be the best thing to happen to Clay Jensen.
—xxx—
This was my goodbye process to their relationship. I miss Justin. He didn't deserve the ending he got. I hope you liked it and this is my first time writing 13 rw.