God wasn't happy to see Klaus a second time. In fact, she marched right up to him, pushed back her straw-brimmed hat to glare at him properly, and then smacked him hard, right across the face. "You again?"

"Ow!" Klaus complained. Death, apparently, didn't spare him from pain. It was true that the physical ailments that had been plaguing him just moments before had ceased, but he knew that death was only a temporary fix. God didn't want him. There was no permanent place for him in the World of No Color.

But... perhaps there was a place here for certain other people. A tiny hope flickered inside of Klaus. "Hey, uh… Is Ben here?" He asked.

God gave him a scathing look. "You're the sub-par filter of this world. You tell me. Is he?"

"I don't know! That's why I—" Klaus sighed. "What about Dave? Is he around?"

"I pick and choose through you. What do you think? Should I choose him?"

"I'm not even going to pretend I know what you're talking about," Klaus said impatiently. "Look, we both know I'll be leaving any minute now. Can you tell me anything that actually makes sense?"

God pointed up at the colorless sky above them. "Look," she said simply.

Klaus tilted his head upwards and watched sadly as the sky slowly turned from grey to blue.

In the blink of an eye, God and the World of No Color had disappeared. Klaus was back in the shitty motel tub filled with luke-warm water and iridescent bubbles.

Klaus hadn't planned on drowning in that bathtub, but once he'd gotten in, it had just seemed like a good idea. He'd leaned back, back, back, until he was fully submerged, and then he simply didn't come back up.

To be fair, it had been a rotten day. First of all, Klaus had almost died— Several times, in fact. (Diego's girlfriend has issues.) Then, he finally made it back to the Umbrella Academy after three worthless and really weird years spent as a man out of time, so relieved to finally be where he belonged, only to find out that everything was somehow infinitely more messed up than ever.

Apparently, some nasty new timeline had replaced the old one. Klaus and his siblings' childhoods at the Umbrella Academy never happened in this timeline. Instead, there was something called the Sparrow Academy, and Dad was alive again, which was a total nightmare. Lastly, Ben was alive again, too, but that was actually even worse, because this Ben didn't know Klaus.

After taking in this God-awful scene, Allison immediately rushed off to see if her daughter Claire was still in existence, and that was the last Klaus had seen of her.

Luther had spent the better part of an hour arguing with Reginald; pleading that Reggie was their father and that this was their home. Finally, Luther had given up and left the Academy with a maniacal grin plastered onto his face, probably to attend another fucking rave and immerse himself in a different kind of insanity, so that his own mad world seemed tamer.

Five had been completely hysterical, and no wonder— Everything he'd been working towards for years had been for nothing. All Five wanted was a normal life, and while he had succeeded in stopping the apocalypse, his life had become a whole new hell. This new timeline problem would, with his luck, probably take another 60 years to solve.

Vanya had taken Five for a walk to calm down hours ago, but who knows where they were now?

As for Diego, he'd left the "Sparrow Academy" with Klaus, and they ended up checking into a motel, not knowing where else to fucking go. Diego then proceeded to curl up on one of the beds and stare at the ceiling for hours… While Klaus took a bath, drowned, and came back to life.

At this point, might as well, he'd figured. Klaus wasn't getting any fucking answers as a living being. Annoyingly, however, death hadn't been any more enlightening.

Now, Klaus resignedly got out of the questionably-cleaned tub, dried off, and redressed. He felt a little better once the cowboy hat he'd picked up earlier was back on his head. (It was rather becoming, he thought.)

Again, he tried conjuring Ben, but still no dice. Klaus could only conjure restless spirits, and Ben had officially Passed On.

Klaus was doing his best not to be upset, but was failing miserably. For 17 years, on the tedious brink of existence, Ben had been Klaus's best friend— Mostly, Klaus's only friend. Ben had stayed with Klaus even in his darkest hours (which were many of his hours). Ben had always spoken honestly and laid down the facts, but he had only wanted the best for him. Klaus already missed Ben's big heart and genuinely kind spirit.

Kind spirit. Klaus couldn't help but snicker at the unintentional pun.

"Y'know, I was just thinking— How stupid is the name 'The Sparrow Academy?'" Klaus said brightly, emerging from the bathroom. "Reggie may like his Sparrow kids better, but at least we're not called the fucking Sparrow Academy."

Pep-talks had never been Klaus's thing, but he was doing his best.

Diego exhaled loudly through his nose to acknowledge Klaus's comment, but said nothing. He was still lying on the bed, looking totally defeated. He'd worked so hard to save the day, just like Five, and this was his reward.

He didn't even have the heart to take out one of his knives and fidget with it.

Klaus tried another approach. "Guess what, Diego? Now that Ben's taken his ticket to heaven, you're my favorite brother."

"Great…" Diego croaked.

Someone rapped on the motel room door, and Klaus went over to open it. Five and Vanya, looking totally dead inside, entered and slumped onto the empty bed simultaneously.

"How'd you find us?" Diego asked, sitting up in his own bed.

"Oh, I left them a note." Klaus vaguely waved a hand in the air. He'd found a piece of purple chalk, apparently discarded by some child, lying on the sidewalk outside of the Umbrella Academy (Sparrow Academy, whatever) and had scribbled a message to his siblings. Diego must have been too preoccupied to notice.

"Has anyone seen Luther?" Vanya piped up after a minute of no one else speaking.

"Nope," Klaus said.

"Hm." Vanya glanced at Five, who was red-eyed and pale. "Five, are you hungry? I was thinking of getting us Griddy's, or something."

Five didn't respond, and Vanya repeated the question. This time, Five said in a very quiet voice, "Focusing on insignificant matters won't solve the colossal one at hand."

Vanya blinked. "Okay…"

"And anyway," Five added, "Eating takes time away from thinking, and I'm going to have to do a lot of thinking to fix this fucking catastrophe."

"Well, at least it isn't another doomsday..." Klaus said consolingly.

"Yeah," Vanya agreed, bobbing her head up and down.

Five laughed humorlessly. "God, you guys really don't get it. If only our problem were that simple. Before, we were thwarting something that was going to happen. Now, we have to undo something that's already been done— In fact, innumerable things that have been done— which is infinitely more difficult."

An uncomfortable silence filled the room following this statement.

Five squeezed his eyes shut, but they still rolled around in frantic thought behind his closed lids.

Klaus was doing a lot of thinking, too: How depressing, that their days of trying to stop actual fucking apocalypses had become relatively simple times.

"Well," Klaus eventually said, mustering the last of his mental strength. "Hopeless situations are our specialty, aren't they? So we're good to go."