Chapter 7

Three months later, Jaq was in Stockton overseeing the building of her new home. The construction was coming along well but Jaq would be living at the hotel for the time being. Victoria had insisted Jaq stay at the ranch, but Jaq assured her she was fine in town. She felt Jarrod and his family needed time with just them as they were all still reeling from the trial and Beth leaving. Plus, Heath and Elsa's new little one was due any time and she didn't want to intrude. Their house had been completed but they weren't moving in until after the baby's birth.

Jarrod and Jaq returned to Nevada to testify at the trial of Joe Talbott. He was found guilty on all counts and sentenced to twenty years in prison for all he'd done. Charges were not pursued against Jaq and Jarrod for the deaths of the three men who had chased after them.

The cottage was the only building that hadn't been damaged because of the fire Talbott had set to which Jaq was thankful. She still shed tears over the loss of items that had belonged to her parents, but she was able to retrieve a few things from the cottage that she could take with her. Jarrod handled the sale of the land to a man who wanted to use the land to raise cattle which meant Carson City would not be allowed to annex the town.

Jarrod accompanied Jaq to the small cemetery in town so she could lay flowers at the graves of her parents and husband before leaving town permanently. It was there Jarrod discovered a fourth grave that also had the name "Childers". The inscription on the tombstone said,

Louisa Jaqueline Childers

Born July 1880

Died August 1880

Jaq placed flowers on each of the graves and then knelt at the small grave that held her daughter. She spoke softly but the words could only be heard by her, tears flowing freely. She then placed a small kiss on the tombstone and stood. Jarrod reached over to take her elbow.

"I'm sorry, Jaq," he said softly, a few minutes later.

"I thought we had an understanding, Jarrod," Jaq replied. She looked him in the eye, her face awash with sadness. "No pity. I can't handle it right now and if that's how you're going to be you can find someplace else to sit on the train."

Jarrod schooled his features and nodded in agreement.

Six months later found the Barkley's on the way to the family lodge. Jaq had been invited to go along and since her house was finally completed and she was moved in, she felt she had the time to go.

Jaq enjoyed spending time with Victoria and the two rode side by side for most of the way. They never lacked for anything to talk about and both women were glad to be in each other's company.

Jarrod hung back and watched with delight as his mother and Jaq chatted away. He was looking forward to spending time with his family without the stresses of his job or the ranch. Audra, Elsa, and baby Leah were traveling in the wagon with Heath while Nick and Jarrod rode on horseback.

The group made it to the lodge and Jaq was impressed with the entire set up. It was truly a home away from home and she could see why the family enjoyed going each year. There had been additions made over the years allowing enough room for everyone to have a comfortable stay.

Everyone settled in and eventually scattered. The men went to the lake to catch some fish for dinner that evening, and the women unpacked the supplies they'd brought. Dinner was a lively affair and Leah was passed around to everyone, winning everyone over with her coos and smiles. Jarrod couldn't help but be aware Jaq's quietness after she'd passed Leah back to Elsa. No one else seemed to notice and Jarrod would never say anything to them. However, he knew she had to be thinking of her own child.

The next few days were filled with much of the same. Victoria was enjoying the time with her family immensely and felt that Jaq fit in perfectly. She watched Jarrod and Jaq for any signs there might be interest between the two, but both kept their feelings hidden well. She knew Jarrod was still hurting over Beth's leaving and it was just coming up on a year.

One night, the family sat before a bonfire that had been made out in the yard. Everyone enjoyed the comradery and laughed at the stories told by Nick, Heath, and Jarrod at the expense of each other.

Plenty of the Barkley wine had been brought and several bottles had been emptied throughout their visit. One by one, everyone made their way inside the lodge until only Jarrod and Jaq were left. The two enjoyed the quiet and listening to the night sounds. Jarrod would glance over at Jaq periodically and watch her profile as she stared into the fire. They spent some time together off and on over the last several months, each enjoying the other's friendship. Jarrod knew his heart still needed time, but as he watched Jaq's profile, he knew it wouldn't take much to push him toward desiring something more.

"Jaq," he said softly. Jaq turned to look at him. "May I ask you about Louisa?"

Jaq took a deep breath and looked back at the fire. She had never talked with anyone outside her family about what happened with Louisa. It still hurt too much. She felt this was something she could share with Jarrod and began to speak.

"Louisa was born and was the most beautiful, happy baby. We were all enamored of her. I laid her down one night for bed and realized the next morning she hadn't woken up the entire night for her feeding. I went to check on her and she was gone."

Jarrod turned his head to look away from Jaq. She'd suffered so much. She'd lost her child, then her husband, and after all of that, her parents. She'd lost literally everything and yet was still a strong, kind woman. When Jarrod felt he could control the expression on his face, he turned back to her.

Jaq was staring again at the fire, and each felt the silence between them was comfortable.

"Why is it the only two times we've ever kissed, one of us has been drunk?" Jaq asked quietly.

Jarrod looked over at her with a raised eyebrow, a small smile on his face.

"Are you saying you'd like for me to kiss you?" he asked teasingly.

Jaq sighed and looked a bit forlorn. Jarrod wondered at her reaction. The sound of the small fire in front of them with the wood popping as it burned, and the crickets nearby were the only sounds that broke the silence. Jarrod stared at the flames and couldn't help but feel some trepidation as he waited for Jaq to answer. It would be several more minutes before she said anything.

"I do want you to kiss me," he heard her whisper. Jaq kept her eyes on the flames, mesmerized by the soft glow. Jarrod stared at her profile.

"I sense a 'but'," he said softly.

Jaq nodded. "If we kiss again, I want to make sure we are kissing each other."

Jarrod knew immediately what she meant. The first time they'd kissed, he'd been drunk, and he thought she was Beth. The second time, Jaq had been the one drinking and although she didn't say anything at the time, he knew now she was probably thinking about Paul. He wasn't upset or insulted.

"Jaq," Jarrod called to her. Jaq looked over and found herself lost in Jarrod's blue eyes. He stared at her with such intensity she felt she could melt right then and there.

"I want to kiss you too, but I agree we need to wait to ensure we both know we are indeed kissing one another."

Jaq agreed, still unable to tear her eyes away from his.

"I am concerned though," Jarrod continued. Jaq furrowed her brow.

"About?"

"I'm concerned that once I start kissing you, I won't be able to stop. And that I'll want more than you're willing to give. I'll want it all."

Jaq felt as though she couldn't breathe but it wasn't out of fear. She'd missed being held, missed having physical contact. She and Paul had enjoyed a healthy physical relationship and Jaq had figured in her mind that she'd never have that again. In truth, she didn't think she'd ever want it with any other man. When she and Jarrod first met, that thought never crossed her mind. Nor did it when they'd kissed the first time. After their second kiss though, she felt something awaken inside her and a hope was born allowing her to believe she could love and be loved again. She enjoyed their friendship and now that they'd spent more time together, Jaq did hope it became something more.

Jaq turned back to look at the flames and Jarrod hoped that he hadn't frightened her or made her feel uneasy. He stared at the flames too but didn't feel as though the silence between them was uncomfortable. Jarrod started to doze, the fire and night sounds causing him to relax. He felt, rather than saw Jaq stand and he opened his eyes. She looked down at him and smiled.

"I look forward to you kissing me again, Jarrod," was all she said, and she walked into the house.

To Be Continued…