Shrek was alone in his room, as he usually was, like always. However, Shrek wasn't always so reclusive. He used to be a family man, caring of his wife, children, and friends. But that all changed when he made a deep and dark discovery called anime. Shrek, being a social outcast all of his life, naturally was attracted to such a degenerate hobby. This was not helped by the introduction of modern computers and smartphones into Shrek's medieval fantasy universe, making it somewhat of a modern fantasy story in this fanfiction.

For the past few months, Shrek's obsession with this dark craft had worsened significantly. Fiona, respecting Shrek's boundaries and interests, had no knowledge of his obsession, with the only indicator being the frequent and strange packages from amazon that they received in the mail. But all that was about to change as Fiona entered Shrek's room without knocking one miserable day.

"Shrek, dinner is ready." said Fiona, unaware of what she was walking into.

Inside she found a strange array of posters, figures, and pillows feature anime women. Fiona couldn't help but be a little disturbed at the whole scene. She saw Shrek, hunched over his computer watching pirated anime off a sketchy website, gripping some sort of doll in his big, strong, and strangely attractive arms. Shrek turned around suddenly.

"Oh, Fiona-chan! You surprised me!" exclaimed Shrek, as if there wasn't something horribly wrong with him.

Fiona was stunned, she couldn't believe her own husband would end up like this. Was there anything she could do to save this poor man, or was it too late?

"Fiona-chan please stop staring so much, you'll make Bulma-chan self conscious of herself!" said Shrek with a kind of horrifying squeal.

"Bulma-chan?" asked Fiona

"Fiona-chan, please don't tell me you haven't met my ultra cute waifu yet!" said Shrek playfully.

"Waifu? But Shrek, I'm your wife. We're married." said Fiona to Shrek.

"Oh don't worry about that, its not a big deal anyways! What were you going to say anyways?" said Shrek.

"Look, its time for dinner. Come down and eat." said Fiona, with a little bit of anger.

"Whaaat? But I'm just in the middle of a new plot arch! Can you wait like 30 more minutes?" said Shrek.

"I think it would be better if you took a break from whatever all this is." said Fiona.

Fiona left Shrek's room a little bit flustered. She had taken a few guesses as to what exactly had kept Shrek in his room as much as he had been recently, but she couldn't have guessed that what she just saw was it. However, she figured that a nice dinner together and some time away from Shrek's obsession could bring Shrek back to normal. Poor, foolish Fiona.

As she began to prepare the food, she could hear Shrek's footsteps clunking down the stairs. Soon her hope turned to fear as Shrek made his way into the kitchen. His appearance was gross, misshapen, and lacking in any sort of hygiene. Perhaps this sort of appearance would've been fitting for an ogre in a more archaic time, however this was the modern day, and ogres are expected to be trim and proper in this modern era.

Shrek sat down at the table as Fiona brought out the food. In addition to his appearance, Fiona was disturbed by Shrek's insistence to bring his waifu, Bulma-chan, to the dinner table as well. She wasn't entirely sure why Shrek was so obsessed with her, and watching him interact with that malformed pile of plastic only further proved to disturb her.

"Its been so long since I've seen you, Shrek. My business trip lasted longer than expected." said Fiona. Fiona was a high ranking business woman, and she had just arrived home from a business in Saudi Arabia.

"I suppose it has been. But don't worry, Bulma-chan has kept me from getting lonely without you." said Shrek, looking more fondly at his anime waifu than at his own wife.

Fiona gave an unapproving look at Shrek as she placed down their dinner at the table. Shrek looked up with a sad, innocent confusion. Fiona just couldn't wait to hear what Shrek was going to complain about next.

"F-Fiona-chan... what about the dinner for Bulma-chan?" whimpered Shrek.

"I figured you two could eat it together. It would be more romantic that way." said Fiona sarcastically.

Shrek than began to eat with his waifu, Bulma-chan, as he shovelled mashed potatoes into her unmoving mouth.

"Are you getting you're fill, anata-kun? You look so kawaii tonight!" Shrek said, twisting his face into what could be considered a smile.

Fiona could hardly stand any more of Shrek's antics as she took the molded plastic from Shrek's big, green hands.

"Alright, maybe it would be nice if this dinner was just between you and me, your actual wife." said Fiona.

"But Fiona-chan, that's not fair!" said Shrek.

"Too bad, onion boy." said Fiona

Shrek hated it when Fiona called him that, and his regularly green visage turned a bright red from anger. But Shrek had a secret in his pocket, his phone.

Of course Shrek had brought his Phone, where he could play all of his epic Anime games. His favourite game was anime crush, which was kind of like candy crush, but with anime and gacha mechanics that Shrek had currently poured over $1,200 dollars into.

But as Shrek giggled like a small child on his phone, as he had just gotten the ultra-rare swimsuit variant of his favourite character. But Fiona was not so happy. She couldn't believe that her once loving husband had turned into this monster.

"Shrek, I can't believe you at all! You haven't given me any attention since I arrived here, after I've been gone for that past 2 months. What has changed? Do you not love me anymore?" lamented Fiona.

"Fiona, of course I love you, but even you should know that real women are inferior to those sweet and sexy anime babes." said Shrek, but Fiona was unconvinced.

"Well, in that case, if you won't love me, then maybe my children will." said Fiona

"Err, well actually about that..." said Shrek, trailing off.

"Shrek, what did you do to the children?" asked Fiona.

"Well, I was too busy on my anime binge to take care of the kids, so I let Donkey-kun take care of them while I was occupied." said Shrek

"You WHAT" said Fiona

"Look, Donkey-kun should be taking care of them better than me anyways, so its a win/win" said Shrek.

"Shrek, I don't care about Donkey, go and find our children!" said Fiona.

Shrek decided it was probably best to go and do what Fiona told him to do. Unlike the gentle and caring women of anime, Shrek now learned that women of this world were harsh and uncaring, and perhaps not to be bothered with entirely.

TO BE CONTINUED...