Meanwhile- the Kazekage's hotel suite
"You went to Dad?" Hiroshi asked. "Because you had to marry him?"
"I went to Suna," Hinata explained patiently. "I went there to make myself into somebody I would not be ashamed of."
"We are not ashamed of you Mama!" Tadashi interjected vehemently.
Laughing lightly, Hinata pressed a kiss to the side of his head. "I know you are not. But I was. Everything those villagers said today, people had been telling me that my whole life. I didn't know how to stop them, so when I got the chance to go to Suna, I left and went there."
"Did you never return Mama?"
"No, I didn't. After I met your father, I got a new life in Suna and even though I still talked to some of my friends, I never felt the need to come back here."
"So, these people this morning, they don't really know you then?" Hiroshi asked.
"I guess not. But again, that is partially my fault too. I had many opportunities to come back and help my village, but I refused."
"Why?"
"Love, Hiroshi," Hinata sighed shakily. "Love makes you do great things and foolish things as well."
"What love Mama?"
The simple question made her want to bury her head in her husband's shoulder and sob. What love indeed? The boys did not know of her past with Naruto and Hinata was very tempted to use this excuse so as not to delve deeper among the skeletons in her closet.
'Think of Gaara and how conflicted he looked a while ago,' a small voice whispered in her head. 'Not talking about what happened with Naruto has hurt him more than you realised.'
Six years ago- Konoha
After the clan meeting, while everyone was being ushered to the gates, Kiba left his mother's side and made his way to Hinata's secret garden. Shino was already there, conversing in low whispers with their purple-haired teammate. Akamaru bounded past him and bulleted into Hinata. Her tinkling laugh resounded across the empty garden but alleviated none of Kiba's worries.
"Oh Kiba-kun. Stop frowning so much," Hinata teased lightly as he finally stopped at her side.
Shino was staring at him. The years had taught all three of them to read and anticipate each other's emotions and actions. And right now, Kiba knew that Shino was stalwartly standing by Hinata's side.
'Looks like I would bloody well have to accept her decision as well,' Kiba thought.
His resigned sigh made Hinata frown sadly.
"You are hurt by my decision," she said softly.
"You cannot just decide to take this scroll to heart, leave Konoha to settle in Suna, without at least telling Naruto about it. And how can you even decide that you want to be courted by Gaara? Do you know how hurt Naruto will be?"
"Will he be hurt because I am leaving or because I did not tell him? In any case, he will learn it when he reads the letter I have left with Sakura-chan when he gets back."
"Really, is that so simple for you Hinata?"
"Kiba-kun, Naruto and I became close but still he gives no sign of wanting more. I have waited all my life for him but doubts are creeping in now."
She never thought she'd say those words one day. She was so sure that her love for the blond ninja was the forever kind, especially since she'd love him since forever. She had been there for him every time she could have. But at one point, wasn't she losing her life in the process?
The day the scroll had been delivered to the Hyuuga doorstep, her mind had been thrown in a whirlwind. She had spent the better part of the day crying on her sister's shoulder. She cried for the what-ifs and the regrets and the joys she may never have and the family she may only see in dreams.
She had started making something of herself; trained in the finesse of politics, mastered the healing techniques of her clan and was training for the Jounin exams one day. The only incomplete wish she held onto was Naruto. At what point, would people stop calling him dense and start calling her foolish?
She'd heard some of the bets the boys had placed on their future. She had laughed at it until she sorely realised that's what she had reduced her life to; a gamble, a game.
She turned to observe her koi pond and explained to them what she had not yet said to anyone.
"I went to find Naruto two days ago, to talk to him and ask about the chances for our future together. Two visits to his home, then to Sakura's who told me that Naruto and Sasuke had left for their mission the night before. A classified ANBU mission of indeterminable duration and it never crossed his mind to say goodbye, to see me one last time at least."
The breeze blew some of her hair into her face and she kept her gaze fixed on the fish dancing in the pond. Her hands clenched and her breath hiccupped. However much stronger she had become, emotions were her forte and her undoing.
Naruto, as far as Kiba could deduce, had become a weakness for Hinata and that troubled him. He went to stand by her side, sharing a worried look with Shino, who placed a comforting hand on her shoulder. She continued after a broken sob.
"A girl knows when she is special Kiba-kun and in that moment, I accepted that after all this time, I still was not."
"You have to give life a chance now," Shino said stoically.
They stood in silence for a while, gathering their thoughts. Then, Kiba asked abashedly, scratching the back of his head, "Do you think you might like Gaara?"
"I think we've all seen that he's changed considerably from the boy in the Forest of Death, ne? It will please me to try to get to know him," she answered truthfully.
"Still, life in Suna is different Hinata. Getting to know the Kazakage while adjusting to a new environment. Isn't it too much?"
"But there is so much out there that I want to see and experience. I was tied down by my weakness first, then by my clan duties, Neji's death, Naruto. I want to just fly free now."
"What now? Do you send your reply to Suna's council, to Gaara?" Shino asked, ever the pragmatic.
"Well, my father will inform the village elders of my acceptance as they were the ones who got in touch with us. But as Shikamaru-kun pointed out, it will be better if the Hokage told Gaara about my wishes to move to Suna, send my transcripts and files."
"I still don't see why that part is necessary," the dog-nin added gruffly.
"Because Hinata wants to protect herself and seek a new start elsewhere."
The kunoichi in question frowned at Shino and protested promptly.
"No, as I said at the meeting, it will be easier for the Kazekage to get to know me without causing upheavals in his schedule. Plus, Suna is always asking for volunteers anyway to help at their academy or hospital. I believe that I will benefit greatly towards the preparation for my…"
"Jounin exam, yeah yeah we all know." Hinata took Kiba's interruption in stride. It was true, this argument had been tossed around so many times at the Council's meeting.
"A very carefully crafted but nonetheless stubborn response Hinata," Shino commented astutely. "Gaara can very well make the journey to the Leaf for the first few meetings."
Meanwhile, Kiba thought hard. He saw the appeal of moving away, and factored in the opposite and the appeal only grew more…well, appealing.
"Everywhere in the Leaf, people expect to see Hinata and Naruto together," the brown-haired nin said. "Any fresh start may be tainted by that. Okay, I get it. It doesn't mean that I wouldn't miss you Hinata. Three months away is a long time."
As if sensing the change in the mood, Akamaru butted his head slowly against Hinata's hip and settled at her feet.
"I will miss all of you too," she said, feeling the gentle wings of a kikaichu tingle the palm of her hand.
After a few moments of comfortable reflection, Kiba let out a sigh of feigned annoyance, "Kami, what is it with you Hyuugas and freedom?"
Present- Hokage's Office
"I did love her," Naruto started. "But I think I loved her too late and for the wrong reasons."
"You never tried to win her back," Gaara prompted.
The blond averted his gaze to the faces carved on the mountain. The past is such a minefield. People each have their own way of remembering it and explaining it. For as long as he remembered becoming Hokage had been his goal in life; the solution to all his problems, the key to his happiness. Hinata had been one of the best part of his life because she had been an unexpected miracle.
She had loved him selflessly, supported him in everything and had asked nothing in return. The problem had been that Naruto had been too far gone into being a hero to completely devote himself to his relationship. Becoming Hokage was not only his legacy but also a way to uphold a promise to so many important people in his life. And Hinata had, to his shame, been a collateral damage.
He told so to Gaara.
"Gaara, you understand more than anybody what the title of kage means to us. Hinata told me in her letter that I loved the village more than anything. It is true. This entire village is my family, my responsibility. When I realised that I didn't have it in me to put her in a special place, I had to let her go."
"Did you tell her as much?" the red-head asked quietly.
"This is the place where perhaps I should have done better. Fearing how I might react to losing Hinata, Sakura asked Kakashi to make sure the letter gets to me as soon as possible. It reached me while I was still in the middle of the mission, and I put it aside for another time. I rationalised that it demanded a face-to-face conversation and scribbled that much on a piece of paper that I sent to her."
"But, I don't recall you ever coming to Suna," Gaara murmured, already guessing where this was going.
After his return to Konoha with Sasuke, Kakashi had wasted no time to inform all the other kages that he would now be retiring and appointing Naruto as Hokage with no further delays. The ceremony and induction had happened within a matter of weeks.
"Hinata must have gotten the news. She sent me a letter while I was completing my induction to congratulate me and ask me not to come to Suna as she too was about to start with something new in her life."
'And even then, you did not fight for her and you did not give her closure,' Gaara mused silently. 'They both just ignored it all and she requested to be put on that patrol rosters as a way to start over in Suna.'