The school was abuzz with rumors, but the teachers thankfully decided not to say anything. But that only meant that parts of the whole were known. Since only my friends and the Professors knew the real story, they decided to keep mum for my sake.

With the reaction of everyone in Hogwarts, I had realized that this small thing had probably ruined a part of big baddie's plans. He had been selecting and seducing them over to his side with the carrot tactic, but none of them were ready for the violence that war brought.

Sirius never cared about how people thought of him, so he didn't have anything to lose and everything to gain if the plan succeeded. I had been scared that he would be treated badly or oddly after this. But I had forgotten the influence he truly wielded.

Sirius wasn't just a "poor student", he was still known as the Heir Black of the Most Ancient and Noble House of Black. He was just targeted for being a "traitor" by a family member- thank you Regulus- and that had effectively made the carrot tactic obsolete.

First, the pureblood Bones and then the pureblood Black Heir?

Wizard society wasn't yet aware of Sirius being kicked off the Family yet.

And rumors about the Dark Lord's promise being false spread like wildfire.

First, between students than from them to their families.

There wasn't going to be many Neutral Families if everyone was being targeted for the slightest of faults.

The Dark Lord would have no choice but to use the stick tactic, and everyone knew how long those lasted. Fear could only last for so long in one individual, and especially in a group of hormonal teenagers getting their will restrained?

Did he take them for a joke?

The teenage rebellion was a thing, especially with wizarding kids who followed the crowd.

There were a lot of people slowly breaking away. The Ravenclaws withdrew from the silent Slytherin-Ravenclaw House agreement, and it was like an avalanche. Sirius had been sleeping off the mental exhaustion of his mind slowly repairing from years of Cruciatus curse inside the Hospital Wing, and outside, the students were rebelling. Some were getting closer and some farther from Slytherin in fear of the Dark Lord.

But Dumbledore made sure to walk around and be around those students more.

If the Dark Lord was a beacon for the Purebloods, Dumbledore was on his opposite end. The line was being drawn even in Hogwarts.

Many people were coming up to wish Sirius well, some that would rather have seen him dead a few months ago. Even Slytherin House was getting divided. Regulus came by the Hospital Wing to speak about it. There wasn't a clear line, but some people were making sides already.

I just wanted Sirius to wake up already.

Madame Pomphrey told me that he would need his rest to heal properly from years worth of trauma and kicked me out. She didn't like me for putting a student in the Hospital Wing, no matter how in the right Katherine told her I was.

Regulus, unlike me, was more welcome.

He stayed beside his brother as long as he could without missing outclass or too much of Slytherin politics.

I was out of all of it, only keeping an eye on which direction the whole thing was going via people who came to visit. Marlene hadn't come in for a while. She must have been surprised. Alice had come by for emotional support.

James and Remus were a little mad at me, but Peter forgave me.

No one had ever seen Sirius do anything but laugh, enjoy life, and curse like a hooligan. It must have been a shock to everyone.

It had been to me too.

It made me think of how I must have been screaming like that too. I didn't even remember it properly aside from the faint memory of my own screams. The memory of that moment was dampened twice over for me already- the Hospital and that time with Lily.

I went to class when the weekdays came and we all waited amidst the silent chaos in Hogwarts. We waited for Sirius to wake up.

There had been an announcement on the next morning that the wards had been updated to keep out any letters that included any spells on it. Any package with potions and items would be checked once over before being sent to the students. A few students were irritated, some genuinely angry, but quite a few of them were relieved.

Everyone had been so removed from the outside world that they had considered themselves truly safe. Like, it would pass them by untouched. Hogwarts had been a beacon of safety that was cut off from the outside. Regardless of their family, feuds, wealth, or nationality, everyone could be in Hogwarts and be safe.

But they wouldn't be. And one of their 'idols' falling put them in shock and made them realize part of what it meant.

Marlene, I hear, was helping get reassuring and good news go around. They didn't confirm that Sirius was fine yet, but they were trying to control the flow of information.

They felt in over their heads, but they were trying their best.

Plus, we had a few Slytherins on our side too.

There was a lot of silent contribution going around. There were also a lot of rumors but they were leaning towards sympathy. There were a few people planning to pull their kids from Hogwarts, but with Dumbledore's reassurance, no one left.

I had created a lot of trouble for the Professors too.

The first time Sirius woke up was when Remus came to visit, and he had stood stock still for a few moments before pulling Sirius into a hug. He was still pretty tired though, but Madame Pomphrey threatened Sirius for putting himself in danger while Sirius shot back cheeky responses.

In the end, he went back to sleep.

Regulus hesitated to visit Sirius but with my and Remus' prodding and reassurance, he ended up being the next one to be there when Sirius woke up. They had a long, mostly uninterrupted talk and seemed pretty close when James came by and saw them both sleeping in awkward positions- one on the chair and the other on the bed.

I decided that this was the perfect time to bring up my skills, and a multitude of friends and people came by to talk to Sirius.

He also confirmed with Dumbledore that the letter had been his own creation and he had, in fact, imitated his family members on quite a few occasions so the voice hadn't been an issue.

Within a week, Sirius was allowed to leave the Hospital Wing. Most of which he spent sleeping off his mental exhaustion and one day that Madame Pomphrey took to check the condition of his body.

Sirius was basically treated as a hero and met with celebration from the Gryffindors. A party held in his honor and he took to it like a duck to water. His exuberant attitude relieved a few of the scared students, and respect for Madame Pomphrey rose.

Thankfully, Regulus handled a lot of the politicking along with helpful and occasionally scathing advice from James and me.

Marlene made an appearance about then, hugged Sirius and once they were all sure he was perfectly fine, and felt even better, thanks to the potion, they slowly forgave me.

Marlene could hold a grudge though. She had ignored me, once burst into tears in my arms, and occasionally shot acidic remarks that filled me with overwhelming guilt and anger at the same time. But even she calmed down when she saw the significant improvement in Sirius' state of mind.

Marlene had always been viciously loyal, and it was the first time she had ever turned it against me, no matter how privately.

Throughout the party and aside from the time everyone got together, I hadn't even talked to Sirius. It had been a cruel plan, and I felt guilty and angry.

I had had no idea that his case was so much worse than mine. I had no idea he was abused in his household so often. I didn't know. But at the same time, I had trusted Sirius to tell me that it was that bad. I would have tried to take it slower, instead of taking to it like a sledgehammer.

Mental healing potions were not only difficult and expensive, but they were also tricky to use. If there were other circumstances that I knew nothing about, it could have even had adverse reactions. What if he was in a coma for a month? What if his mind couldn't handle the pressure?

This was why this kind of thing shouldn't be used without supervision.

But at the same time, I understood that with that slow method my plan wouldn't have worked on Regulus. Or maybe it would have, but it wouldn't have brought out such an intense reaction from him.

It was Sirius' choice and decided an increase in risk was worth it.

But it was also my choice, and I wished I had known. Which brought me back to my friends not knowing anything. A natural reaction wasn't a good excuse for the shock they received, and it wasn't like people actually noticed anyone else aside from Sirius. It was simply my ignorance.

I kept trying to do things on my own so much after the attack. I got so scared sometimes. We were just kids. We wanted to live, to find love, to find friendship and family, and enjoy life.

Not be a part of a messed up manipulative asshole's game.

Defy, defy, and defy even more.

It would be better to die than not live as I wanted.

It would be better to die than to allow him to destroy my friendships and the friends I have.

I sighed, breaking away from my dark thoughts.

-which is why I need to face them and earn their forgiveness.

It was Sirius who pulled me away from the library- eyes full of sleep and a head filled with cobwebs.

I stumbled from the dark library to the dimly lit common room. Occasionally falling on Sirius, sometimes away which made him scramble to catch me. It would have been funny if I hadn't been in such a haze. I hadn't had a wink of sleep for the last three days, and even when Sirius came to pick me up from the dead-end of the library, I made him wait while I scrambled together pages and piles of books.

I had probably pulled out at least one page from one of the books but Madame Pince would have to fix those. I was too sleep-deprived.

After I was done, I went from mania to sleepy in three seconds. I would have just spent the night in the library but Sirius was surprisingly patient with my crazed research. In his defense, I was probably mumbling a lot of things while working too, which Lily used to find eerily fascinating.

I found that more creepy though. Who watched someone so curiously while they were mumbling and researching in a mania? Creeps, that's who.

When the two of them reached the Common room with me hanging half off Sirius and nodding off while walking, Lily stood up from the couch with a frown. I looked up at her blankly.

"How long did you intend to hide there, Cassie? You need proper sleep and not just catnaps that you take when you're too exhausted. Especially now."

There was a couple of seconds of silence where I just tried to blink the haze of sleepiness, before recognizing Lily.

"Lil- you won't believe," she started reaching towards Lily to hold her shoulders but stumbling into her arms. Lily sighed before hugging me. "I had a breakthrough Lil."

My voice slurred, half-muffled by her clothes.

I slumped even more into Lily before falling asleep right there.

Lily stood there for a moment, waiting for me to say more but after a while she shook me lightly.

"Cas?" she asked, a hint of amusement seeping in. She huffed out a smile before looking at Sirius watching me with an affectionate look.

"I'll get her to bed." She said reassuringly. He ruffled his hair.

"Yeah. G'night Lily." He nodded.

Lily swung an arm around my waist before pulling me up towards their dorm room.

Sirius watched us walk with a hint of worry in his eyes.