Chapter 1

Ayami raised an arm and watched the light of the sun's rays pass between her fingers. She was lying on one of the benches of the school terrace; at that exact time, she was supposed to be in her literature class, but the temptation of spending a few hours alone and in the morning sun had been too strong. It was a bad habit she was starting to get too comfortable with, but she couldn't help it: she just loved hanging out there, feeling the wind through her hair and forgetting about everything for even a little while.

It could be said that Ayami was quite an introverted person: her two closest friends, Saki and Kokona would insist all the time on including her in their other larger group; maybe it was her shyness or maybe she just didn't have the energy to be with so many people at the same time, but Ayami never accepted. That didn't mean that the feeling "I'm wasting my teen years" wasn't constantly in the back of her head: Should she be doing socially conceived "fun" things or just doing what she genuinely enjoyed? She still had no answer to that question.

Her pale green eyes sparkled at the touch of the late morning light. She was having a good day thus far: the end of summer was a great time for her, since she could be outdoors without experiencing a heat stroke. At the time, Ayami was in her second year of high school; her introverted personality had given her the reputation of a nerd, but in reality she was not that smart: it was just a problem of too much self-demand. The fact that skipping class was affecting her grades would always bother her a couple of hours after it, but she always ended up doing it anyways. "It's a problem for future Ayami!" she would say.

For some reason, she felt particularly pretty that day: perhaps due to the fact that Saki had braided part of her hair. Ayami had straight hair, of a dark brown tone that almost reached her shoulders; it was accompanied by bangs that she had been wearing for a few years now. Saki liked to comb it from time to time, since he said that his hair was much tamer than hers.

Suddenly, her thoughts were interrupted by the terrace door being abruptly closed. Her heart skipped a beat; she had previously been caught by teachers skipping classes and the threat of a suspension had been put on the table. "I'm an idiot." she thought. "This time I asked for it." With excuses ready, she sat up straight and ready to apologize, but what she saw was something she would never have expected.

It was Osoro Shidesu, sitting on the floor with her back against the door. Apparently she had not noticed the presence of Ayami, who was paralyzed in her seat. Despite never having interacted with her, she knew very well who she was; or rather, she knew very well who the rumors said she was. A violent, serious, hostile person, who had no mercy when fighting with others. She had beaten by 10 students from another school who had wanted to "teach her a lesson" all by herself. Scary, right?

Well that was not exactly what Ayami was witnessing.

The terrifying version of Osoro Shidesu seemed to have evaporated. She could see from a distance that he was hyperventilating, from the way he pressed one of his hands to his chest. Her body was trembling and her face was covered in sweat. She was definitely not having a good time.

What the hell was going on?

Within seconds, Ayami snapped out of her shock. She couldn't sit there and just stare at her, so she gathered courage and ran to her aid.

It was only when she knelt beside her that Osoro became aware of her presence. Ayami was clearly not expected to be there, and she quickly proved it. "Stay back." was the only thing she said to her, without even looking her in the eye. Her breathing was racing, and she seemed to be fighting to control the trembling.

Now that she was there, what was she supposed to do? She hadn't thought very well before approaching. "Okay, okay" she assured her, taking a few steps back. If she wanted Osoro to let her help her, she had to earn her trust. "I just want to help you".

"I don't ... I don't need your ... help." snapped the blonde. She was short of breath, and seemed to be struggling to find the words.

Ayami sat on the spot, keeping her distance. "I know you probably don't need it." she guaranteed her, keeping calm. "But it doesn't mean I can't try it anyway." she said, with a small smile.

Questions were filling her head. The first aid course she had taken months ago had been easy when all she had to do was study, but now that he was in such a situation, it seemed as if the information had disappeared. She took a second to think: she definitely wasn't chocking… or poisoned. A heart attack? No… she didn't have enough symptoms. "Think, Ayami!"

Osoro then looked at her. Her amber eyes pierced hers, and Ayami couldn't help but blush a little at the sudden eye contact. she definitely wasn't good at it. She looked like she was starting to let her guard down, which was good, but still didn't say anything to her.

"Is it okay if I get a little closer?" Ayami asked. Maybe if she approached her, she could find some way to help her.

The blonde didn't say a word, she still had her hand against her chest, which was rising and falling in an accelerated way. Breaking eye contact, she simply nodded.

Ayami knelt down again near Osoro, who still didn't look at her. Ayami smiled at her, trying to buy herself a little time to think about what her next step should be.

Then… just as if the mist in her head had disappeared, realization hit her; sweating, tremors, trouble breathing. It could only be one thing...

"Tell me ... do you feel like your chest hurts?"

The blonde opened her eyes, somewhat surprised. It seemed that Ayami had hit the nail on the head. "I feel ... I feel as if my chest was closing." she admitted, looking away. It was clear that she did not like being seen like this; vulnerable.

And then she realized: a panic attack! Osoro was having a panic attack, how could he not see it before? The symptoms were right in front of her eyes! She felt a bit dumb now, especially considering that she herself suffered from panic attacks at times.

"Do you feel nauseous? Lightheaded?" she kept asking, just to be sure.

Osoro continued to nod. She seemed surprised that Ayami knew exactly what was happening to her.

"You are having a panic attack," she explained. She knew she had to remain calm in order to help her. No sudden movements, or talking too loudly, as that could trigger other symptoms.

"Panic attack? That's bullshit, I never had one of those." Osoro even looked insulted at Ayami's words, perhaps she thought it was a way to show weakness.

"There is a first time for everything, right? ... Welcome to the club." she tried to put a little humor into the situation, the best she could do was distract her from her symptoms. Surprisingly, that seemed to work a bit, as she noticed a small smile on her lips and her shoulders relax slightly.

For a second she had forgotten that she was with Osoro Shidesu. The frightening leader of the delinquents, who was able to empty a corridor with her mere presence, was sitting next to her, smiling slightly at a joke of hers. It seemed incredible to think that she was the same person that everyone would automatically label as terrifying. Maybe her facade didn't help much, but Ayami couldn't help but think that maybe there was much more to her than it seemed.

"When does it… end?" Osoro's voice interrupted her thoughts, taking her a bit by surprise. Her breathing seemed to have calmed down a bit, but she still seemed to be fighting the horrible tremors that some panic attacks brought with themselves.

Ayami sat up a little, now that she knew what was happening, she knew how to help her. Panic attacks were unfortunately something he had been dealing with for a few years at the time, so it could be said that she had learned a thing or two. A part of her past that she would rather forget and her father's death at a young age had not been easy for Ayami: years of therapy and PTSD that marked her as invisible scars. Over time she slowly was overcame it, but she was aware that those were not things that magically disappeared once you "recover", but rather that you learn to live with it.

"If you let me, I can help you get past it a little faste.r" if she had learned anything, it was that the key in this type of situation is, as impossible as it may seem, trying to relax. Her therapist had taught her some breathing exercises that she memorized like the multiplication tables.

Osoro said nothing, simply lifted his shoulders. At this Ayami slowly approached. Gently, she placed her hand on the blonde's abdomen. Heat flooded the brunette's freckled cheeks as she felt the hard abs lurking under her shirt "Focus, you idiot. Do you want her to get angry at you?"

Then, she put one of her hands over Osoro's, which was still on her chest. "May I?" she asked sweetly, so she could put her palm on top of it.

Once in position and under Osoro's piercing gaze, she began to explain. "This is an abdominal breathing exercise. It has saved me from a lot of panic attacks." she said with a reassuring smile. She knew how horrible it was to be in that situation, not knowing how to deal with these horrible symptoms that seem to come out of nowhere and an inexplicable feeling of fear. "The trick is to slowly breathe through your nose and taking that air to your stomach, to the point that it expands. Can you try?"

At first it was somewhat difficult for Osoro, who quickly became frustrated. But after trying it several times, she succeeded.

"Well done!" Ayami congratulated her, feeling genuinely proud. "Hold the air for a few seconds... and then breathe out slowly." Her hands stayed in place for the first few attempts, teaching her how her abdomen should swell, and her chest stay put without any movement. Once Osoro seemed to master the technique, she withdrew her hands and let her do it alone. She understood that perhaps she was feeling a little ashamed of needing help to breathe, so she simply sat next to her, keeping her a quiet company.

And as if it were magic, Osoro's symptoms began to go away. She was no longer trembling and the sweat was gone. Little by little, the blonde managed to normalize her breathing, to Ayami's relief. Now that the situation had passed, the duo remained silent. What was she supposed to say now? "Did you like your first panic attack?" The once confident and willing-to-help Ayami seemed to have disappeared as soon as things calmed down.

Osoro suddenly turned her head towards her. "Now this is awkward." she said, a sarcastic grin appearing on her lips.

"It is, isn't it?" she responded, looking back at her. "I take it you are feeling better now?"

"I am" Osoro fidgeted a bit with the bandages on her arm, avoiding eye contact. It was clear she wasn't used to this type of interactions with other students, as most of them would evacuate any hallway she would step in. "Thank you for not running away from me."

Ayami was a little confused. How could this be the girl who everyone hated and feared so much?

"How could I leave you in that state?" she asked. Even though she knew Osoro didn't need any of her pity, she couldn't help but feel a little bad for her. Had people really shown her such little decency that she thought she would have left her behind?

Osoro bit her lip, as if she was having an internal debate. After a few seconds, she finally asked "Well, aren't you scared of me?"

The question took Ayami back a little. She looked away for a moment, trying to find the best answer. "I would be lying to you if I said you don't come off as a bit intimidating." she admitted, with a small smile on her lips "But I think people get so caught up in rumors, theories and twisted stories that they forget you are an actual human being. I don't like that."

A look she had never seen appeared in Osoro's eyes. She gave her a small smile, before speaking "You're a unique type." she said as she came closer to Ayami. She raised her hand and put a strand of brown hair behind her ear in a delicate movement "I appreciate that."

The heat went immediately towards the brunette's cheeks. It was such a simple touch, but yet it felt so… intimate. Many guys had pulled that move on her before, and she hated it; who did they think they were? But suddenly, it didn't feel so bad… and she found herself in a situation she had never been in: wanting to be touched by another girl.

The sudden ring of the midday bell interrupted the moment, and both of them pulled back immediately; as if they'd been caught by someone. Ayami stood up instantly, adjusting her skirt. Her face was still burning red and she looked away "I better go; my friends must be wondering where I am… It was nice talking to you."

She rapidly reached for the door, and when she was about to "flee", she felt Osoro's hand on her wrist, stopping her "Wait." Ayami turned around, with her arm still in her hands "What's your name?"

She was a bit surprised by the question; at the end of the day she was still Osoro Shidesu, and it was a little shocking to her seeing interested in such an invisible student as her "I'm Ayami." she replied with a sweet smile.

Osoro smiled back, still not letting go of her arm "Well Ayami… Now I've gotta pay you for the therapy session, don't I?" she had a smug look on her face, as if she was planning something "Meet me outside the school at 4 pm. If you have plans cancel them."

Before she could speak a word, Osoro disappeared from her sight.

Ayami stood in her place, not knowing how to react. She couldn't help but smile a little, feeling the adrenaline from something new pump through her veins. But it was okay, she kinda liked it.